Chapter Twelve: Too Much

"Are you excited to go to the Vinkus next week?" Glinda had taken to making small talk about things rather than admonishing her about her feelings lately.

How was it that spring semester was already more than halfway over? She'd been so entangled in school, in her "relationship," in her life in general that she felt like she hadn't had time to breathe. Somehow, she doubted that she'd be able to breathe at all during these holidays, either. But a change of scenery would be nice. "I guess. Oh, I figure I should warn you. I'm spending the night over in his room tonight."

"What?"

"We agreed it was time. If this is going to be the whirlwind romance it's supposed to be, it only makes sense."

"And you don't mind that people would know?"

"Shen-Shen and Avaric have been doing Oz only knows what for months. What makes me any different?" But she knew why her roommate was concerned. "Glinda, it's just a show. I'll make my walk of shame tomorrow morning before Nanny even comes to check on us. I don't want it getting that far. It might make it a little awkward for Fiyero when he comes to see me this summer, if Nanny were to tell my father." Although she liked the idea. But it wouldn't be fair to put him through whatever hell her father would rain upon him when he actually hadn't done a thing.

"I'm not covering for you if she checks on you early."

"I wouldn't want you to. I've dragged you far enough into this. Tell her if she asks. That's fine with me."

"I'm just trying to protect you, Elphie. People will say things."

"Let them. They already say much worse. And you know I've heard it before."

"Which is exactly why..."

"Glinda, please. He told me we didn't have to do this, but this one was my call. As far as he's concerned, we only need to fake this part when we're visiting his family. Apparently it's normal out there. And women aren't scorned for it. Refreshing, isn't it?" Elphaba raised her eyebrows at Glinda as she threw a few things in her knapsack that was now bulging it was so full. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Be careful, Elphie." The blonde just looked at her.

"I will."

He kissed her heatedly when he answered the door, but she'd been expecting as much. Still, it took her breath away every time. She wrapped her arms around his neck and giggled. "Are you sure about this?" He whispered.

She nodded.

"Come on in, love." His voice rose slightly as he closed the door behind her.

"So, how convincing do you want to make this?" She asked. "We could just have me leave here early in the morning or we could make the bedsprings creak and make ridiculous noises for five minutes."

"Five minutes? Is that what it was like for you? You poor thing. If we're being realistic, it might be closer to an hour or two." His eyes were playful, challenging.

She tried to ignore the way her insides became liquid at just the thought and she almost wanted to dare him to prove it. Instead, she challenged him right back, "Men always think too much of themselves."

"Fine. Just an hour, then."

"You're ridiculous. Ten minutes."

"Forty-five minutes."

"Fifteen."

"Thirty. And make it sound real. Because believe me, you would be very pleased when I was done with you."

She took a step away from him, afraid she'd regret it if she didn't. "You know what? Let's just... not do that. Me sneaking out early tomorrow should be enough."

He seemed to realize he'd gone too far. "You're right. If we made too much noise, it might be a bit obvious we were faking, anyway."

"Exactly." Her cheeks felt like they'd dissolve into ash if they got any hotter. "I can't believe we're this far in the semester. I swear, time has gotten away from me."

"I know. Ever since we started doing this, I feel like the whole world is moving so much faster. I don't know what it is." He grabbed a blanket out of his closet and shook it out, clearing a space on the floor.

"I'll sleep on the floor, Fiyero. This is your room."

"But you're the one helping me. You get the bed."

"This is a stupid argument."

"It is. So give in."

She laughed. "If you insist. But I'm not tired yet. It's a little early." Elphaba curled herself up on his bed. "How did you do on midterms?"

"Not bad. I mean, not as well as you, of course."

She'd been top of the class first semester, but so far this semester she was only second. Of course, she'd been a bit distracted. Glinda hadn't exactly rubbed it in her face when it was her name and not Elphaba's at the top of the list, which she appreciated. "I try."

He clambered onto the bed beside her. "I was thinking maybe I should have a nickname for you."

"Ugh. We're obnoxious enough as it is."

"You can pick it, if you want." He put a hand on her shoulder.

He'd started touching her a bit more in private and she wasn't sure what it meant. She also wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him not to. "And should I call you something?"

"I wouldn't mind. But what do you want me to call you?"

"Not Elphie. That's the only requirement. Fiyero, I really don't care."

"Fae, then? Is that acceptable?"

"I like it," she said, surprised. "It's simple and not too peppy."

"So what do you want to call me?"

"Whatever you want. Or will I regret saying that?"

"I want you to come up with something you're comfortable with." He snaked an arm around her waist and rested his hand on her hip. "You just let me know when you think of it." When he cupped her cheek, she swallowed hard. Softly, he pressed his lips to hers just for the briefest of moments.

"Fiyero, we shouldn't," she said quietly.

"I know."

"Especially not when I'm spending the rest of the night in here. And I… I want… look, we can't. It would cause a problem."

"It doesn't mean I don't want to." He was still so close she could feel his breath on her lips, dancing across her cheeks.

"If we ever did," she said daringly, "it would have to just be purely physical between us."

He only nodded.

"Just because, if we let emotions get involved, it would ruin what we're doing. And I don't want emotions involved in this. I can't. I told you."

"You did."

Scooting away from him, she feigned a yawn. "I'm tired, Yero."

"Yero?"

"You wanted me to come up with something. Now, do I have to get on the floor? Because I told you I was fine with sleeping on the floor, and one of us is."

"Right." He shifted uncomfortably and got off the bed. "Goodnight, Elphaba."

"Goodnight." She listened to his breathing change as he fell asleep. He stirred things in her, and she didn't know if she could keep him at the distance she'd been trying to. Perhaps giving in, only physically, would make it easier. Maybe it would be terrible and they'd both realize it had been a bad idea and go back to their uncomplicated friendship – well, uncomplicated outside of their situation, of course.

Had she actually just thought about sleeping with him just for pleasure? Just to get it over with? What kind of wanton thoughts had gotten into her? She rolled over and stared out the window. Maybe Glinda had been right. She was in too deep. But she didn't know how to get herself out. And more strangely, she wasn't sure she wanted to. Elphaba cringed. Perhaps it was time to step back just a bit. Not end this, but at least try to remember who she had been.