(I'm on Spring break, but technically it's midnight so this is tomorrow not today, so really this isn't actually my third update in one evening! Anyway, please enjoy, comment, I really tried, so please, happy reading!)
Mary found herself pacing back and forth in her living room, staring at Norah to her phone and back again. Not that there was anything wrong, or the baby was hard to handle tonight, because it was the exact opposite, she had been an absolute angel since Marshall had dropped then off a couple of hours ago. She ran her fingers through her hair, glancing at the leftover groceries she had neglected to put away on her countertop. She minus well have shot herself in the foot, the mess she had gotten herself into. Calling Marshall Norah's daddy? What the hell had she been thinking? Norah had a Daddy, maybe not a hop to it kinda guy like her partner, but he existed nonetheless. Mary never meant for this whole Marshall business to spiral so out of control like it had, it was supposed to be a onetime thing, he would come over, rescue her from her screaming baby and everything would be copasetic, that was it. It was her fault though, she admitted that the third and fourth night she found herself hitting Marshall's number on speed dial was out of her own selfish yearning for his presence; his talent for quieting down her daughter was just bonus.
What could she do? He had gone home, home to perfect little Nancy Drew and their story book place where they shared their nineteen fifties sitcom lifestyle on steroids. She couldn't compete with that. It used to be so simple, she saw Marshall every day for the majority of her day and then she would go home, perfectly content with being forever alone and then boom! Norah, and feelings. She didn't need feelings, she used to be pro at locking those away, but now they were just always there, tearing at her from the inside, practically ripping through her hard shell. Yeah, there were hundreds of times before today where her heart got a hold of her and wouldn't back down, but never like what occurred this afternoon. She had nearly screamed 'Marshall just stay, you don't have to leave, just stay!', but she used what little self- control she had running on a few hours of sleep to stop herself from doing exactly that. Mary plopped down on her couch, sighing in sadness, frustration, ignorance, and whatever other feelings made you feel absolutely run down enough to want to lie in a corner and weep.
"Norah, I don't know about you, but I need a drink." She leaned over her daughter's portable carrier just to have her eyes on her.
"I think Uncle Marshall and I- well, we need to either get the hell outta each other's lives or -God- I don't even know…" She huffed, "Bug, don't ever fall in love with a cop, not only do they have really great poker faces, but there just something about a man with a gun…" she trailed off.
Norah gurgled happily, an unintentional smile coming to her face.
"Yeah that's right Bug, I love your Uncle Marshall- but just wait til you meet your Auntie Abigail Sunday; she's a god damn keeper. Ah hell! Why did Marshall have to find himself a freakin keeper!" she slammed her fist into the cushion next to her, letting out a groan with five years of hurt and want rolled up into it, a groan that seemed to pierce the ear drums more sharply than her usual groans of annoyance.
"How did I do this, huh? I wish you could tell me…" She leaned in closer, "But you can't, because you don't speak and you're a baby…" Mary stated, somewhat surprised at herself.
"I need something to take my mind of this, of course the one time you don't need something is when I decide to go all psycho.. When there's no poop filled diaper or goopy spit up to keep my mind off of things…" She held her head in her hands, sucking in her potential sobs.
"I need Marshall Bug!" she complained as Norah looked positively mesmerized by her own hand.
As if on cue, the doorbell rang.
Mary turned her head to the clock; nine p.m. was a little late for people to be dropping by. Great, Jinx was either stumbling drunk or behind on some kind of bill, just what she needed her mother's problems to load onto her plate. Just another good reason to have a nervous breakdown, because she needed anymore…. She made her way to the door hesitantly,
"Ya know girl scouts aren't supposed to be roaming around the streets of Albuquerque this late at night so if you're selling cookies-
"Cut it out Mare!" the familiar voice yelled from the other side of the door.
She hesitated only a short moment before unlocking the door,
"Marshall?" she questioned at the man standing in her doorway, "I mean you look like the dork that left here a few hours ago, but isn't he supposed to be home with his girlfriend?"
"What girlfriend?" he asked innocently, letting Mary fill in the gaps.
"Aw, Marsh, I'm sorry, what happened?"
"You did." He stated as a matter of fact, making it clear he was unashamed of the reason and willing to defend it to the death. He pushed past his partner into the house, giving Mary no time to argue,
"Well why don't you come in doofus?" Mary replied sarcastically at Marshall's unusual behavior, closing the door and locking it again.
"I can't be around her, Abigail I mean, not Norah." He offered, picking up the baby.
"Why not? You two seemed like you were getting along well, I mean you took that 'gigantic' step adopting Oscar, I mean you two- woah!"
"Like I have stated on countless occasions, I know your sarcasm is just another way to show your affection…" He answered, unaffected by her remark.
"Alright, fine, I'll bite. What happened?"
"Abigail accused me of something absurd, and then I thought, oh wait, maybe that's not so absurd after all. You see Mare, this little girl right here had me over here constantly, because she was quote giving you trouble, end quote, but then I thought. I know you better than that. You don't just come running for help when the going gets tough you fight through it! So there must have been some teensy tiny, itty bitty, microscopic part of you, U.S Marshal Mary Shannon that not only needed but wanted me around. Am I warm?"
"Did you get hit on the head, what happened, did Nancy Drew scramble your brains?" Mary challenged, caught off guard about how ridiculously correct his theory had been.
Marshall placed Norah back in her portable carrier, strapping her in again. He crossed the room to her,
"I want you to cut the crap, I don't want sarcasm, I don't want lies; do you copy?"
"Marshall I-
"AND I don't want any 'Marshall I's', do you understand? I need complete honesty Mary, I need you to suck it up and not run away from me with your tail between your legs, because I know that's exactly what your mind is telling you to do!" he jabbed at her with something he could back up without question, a defense she couldn't even deny, "I left an amazing woman tonight Mary Shannon! But Abigail can't compare to you, because she's not you, there is no one like you…"
"Marshall, I don't know what to say…" and she didn't, there she was speechless, like she had been too many times this month.
"Let me put it this way- I l-
"Love you?" Mary finished, her eyes darting around the entire surface area of his face, looking for any sign of regret or humor.
"Yes- I love you." With that, Mary just shook her head.
"I had a baby with a man I divorced when I was a teenager, I've done you wrong so many times, but yet you still wanted to be my best friend and I was grateful. When I found myself wanting more with you, I just thought it was because I knew it would never happen, that I could never have you and that's why I gave myself permission to feel, because I only set myself up for heart break. Marshall I don't want to hurt you, the way I've hurt myself…"
"Mary, I love the baby you had with another man, with all of my heart, there is no one in this world I would rather be a best friend to than you, even with someone like Abigail you were never off of my mind, and lastly, you won't hurt me, because I won't let you."
Mary let her tears fall freely down her cheeks,
"Please don't let this be a dream…" she breathed over her quivering lip up toward the ceiling, ignoring Marshall's confused expression.
"Come here Mare." Marshall wrapped his lanky arms around his partner, taking a deep breath,
"I love you."
"I love you too." Mary whispered, so Marshall just barely heard it.
"I have one more question." He stated.
"Yeah and what's that? Don't you dare pull out a ring!" she warned.
"Hey this may have been spur of the moment Mare, but don't go too crazy on me here, at least give me a chance to move out of the place I shared with my ex before we talk wedding bells…" he joked.
"Then what Doofus?" she asked pulling away, slightly agitated, somewhat embarrassed.
"How much is room and board?" he teased.
"Free, especially if you like lumpy sofas and screaming infants waking you up at all hours of the night." Mary answered, suddenly exhausted. Now it was time for her to close her eyes, but this time she hoped when she woke up, Norah and Marshall would be there to greet her.