Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its characters. Those would be the property of Ryan Murphy, Fox and so on and so forth.

Author's Note:

Guys! I'm back! Awful times have been had, let me tell you that! Well, nothing too trivial, but my computer had obtained a really nasty virus. D= From Tumblr of all places...There's a reason I don't normally use Tumblr, but darn it, people have some really cool Tumblrs that I like to look at, but this one was one evil Darren Criss Tumblr or something. It's technology's way of telling me that I love Darren too much or something. =P

Anyway, I got my computer fixed, courtesy of help from my brother. =) But then as life would have it, work kept me busy for the last few days, but now we're back in business! I'm very sorry for the delay, I hope no one feels abandoned. =( I could never leave you guys! It's been killing me not to update, but life just wasn't very kind to me these past 2 weeks. =P But hey, I'm back now and hopefully everyone's still loving the story! I've missed reading all of your wonderfulness!

It's gotten quite late so I'm going to one more time address all the reviewers in one, with the following: You guys are too amazing for freaking words! I will never get over how wonderful all of you are. So, let's have me shut up and give you Chapter 18. How's that sound everyone? =D

It's good to be back!

-Casey

Chapter 18. "Doubts and Warm Embraces"

"Kurt?"

Kurt glanced away from Blaine after what seemed like only minutes of staring longingly, to see the one and only Mercedes Jones standing in the doorway.

"Mercedes," Kurt answered back as he practically flew into her welcoming embrace. She held him close and rubbed her hand soothingly on his back. He clung to her tightly, hesitating to let go as if she would disappear if he did. Just being held gave him a warm feeling from all the current emptiness inside of him. Without Blaine, he'd been feeling incredibly lonely. He hated to admit it, but even when Blaine was awake, he wasn't really Blaine. Kurt longed for his Blaine; the Blaine who would always hold him close and assure him that things were going to be OK.

Kurt couldn't help it, he broke right then. It wasn't that being in Mercedes' arms upset him; he just missed being held by Blaine. He missed Blaine more than words could express. It hadn't occurred to him how much he really missed him until now. Sure, he had been worried and scared for Blaine, but the emptiness was starting to hit him now. The boy lying in the bed wasn't Blaine. Yes, he was there physically, but spiritually and mentally, Blaine was gone. He was in there somewhere, but he was trapped behind a thick icy covered layer of pain and fear.

Hot tears spilled down Kurt's cheeks and onto Mercedes' jacket. He was so tired of crying, he wanted more than anything to be strong. He was struggling to reign the tears in and get himself together before he was a complete mess. She responded immediately by holding him even tighter. "Shh, it's OK, Kurt. Just let it out, sweetie," Mercedes whispered as she ran her fingers softly through Kurt's hair. Kurt sobbed softly into her shoulder as he clung to her. He mentally hated himself for breaking like this in front of her, but he really couldn't help it. Just being held by someone reminded him of the person he was losing and it killed him.

"I'm s-sorry, 'Cedes…" Kurt sobbed.

Mercedes pulled Kurt away slightly to look him straight into the eyes.

"What do you have to be sorry for, Kurt? Are you crazy?"

"I-I just…I'm losing him, 'Cedes…"

"I thought the doctors said there was a good chance he'd regain consciousness?"

"I-it's not that and yes, I hope for that, too," Kurt began as he fell back into his bedside chair. "I-it's just...when he wakes up, what if he can never come back from all of this? What if my Blaine is gone? After all he's been through, what if I don't ever truly see Blaine again? I don't know if he can come back from this; it's not to say that I don't believe he'll wake up, I just don't know how he possibly can be himself again after all of this."

It wasn't that Kurt wouldn't be happy if Blaine woke up at any moment. He was just scared of what he would be like when he did. He knew it was selfish of him to think, but he worried about Blaine never being the same and after all that happened, how could Kurt ever expect him to be the? He knew if it had been him in the situation, he would have shut down completely. It had already been horrible enough to see Blaine as terrified and broken as he had been, but now that he had been put right back into another situation with his captor and had been shot as a result? How could he retain any semblance of normalcy?

"Kurt, you don't know if Blaine can't come back from this. Wasn't he the one always telling you to be strong? I don't take Blaine as the hypocritical type and I don't think you do, either. I think he's strong enough to fight and come back from all of this," Mercedes answered, sitting down beside Kurt.

"I'd like to believe that, but you haven't seen him recently. 'Cedes, I've never seen Blaine that way… so lost…so scared. It was as if he was five years old and was scared of the Boogey-Man in his closet. Quite frankly, I'd be worried if he came back from being as abused as he was with no repercussions from it. I'd like to pretend that Blaine is impervious to all the bad of the world, but it's an act he puts on. He's perfect in my eyes, yes, but deep down; Blaine has to fight to keep that 'the sun will come out tomorrow' outlook on life. He's strong for everyone around him, but when it comes to himself, I don't know how strong he is for himself. That's what worries me," Kurt responded sullenly, not taking his eyes from Blaine as he spoke.

He reached out and traced his fingertips lightly across Blaine's cheekbone. "You're so selfless, it's irritating," Kurt muttered to Blaine with a dry smirk.

"And you're so in love with him, it's sick," Mercedes replied at an attempt at a small joke, but her sadness was incredibly evident. "Kurt, even as much as I hate to say it, there's a chance that he might not ever be the Blaine you knew ever again, but he'll still be Blaine and if I know you the way I know I do, you'll still love him."

Kurt was shocked by her statement. "O-of course! I could never not love him! I-I didn't mean to lead on that I can't love him if he's not the same, I-I'm just confused," Kurt rambled.

"I understand Kurt," She responded, scooping Kurt's hand up in her own. "You never should have had to deal with a situation like this. It's perfectly OK that you don't know how to handle yourself right now. No one should have to figure out how to cope with these kinds of situations. I didn't mean to insinuate that there was a possibility of you not to love him; I'm just being the friend who offers encouragement and helps you see that there can be a positive light at the end of this tunnel. Blaine's going to wake up and he's going to wake up with the love of his life right beside him."

Kurt's eyes welled up again as he wrapped his arms around Mercedes. "I don't know what I'd do without you," He said as he laid his head on her shoulder.

"You'd be even more of a wreck than you are now, that's for sure," She chuckled as she held her best friend tightly.

"Knock knock?" Came a voice from the doorway.

Rachel walked hesitantly into the room followed closely by the "Frankenteen" himself, Finn. She held his hand tightly as she lead him into the room and together they drew a collective breath of shock once they caught sight of Blaine. Rachel placed a hand to her mouth and tried to suppress a sob as Finn just stood silently, completely unsure of what to do. Leave it to Rachel to be the more dramatic one, but Kurt couldn't blame her a bit. Seeing Blaine this way was an awful sight to take in and for once, her dramatic reaction to things was warranted.

"Keep it together, sweetheart…for Kurt," Finn whispered.

"It's all right, Finn. Rachel has a right to her emotions. If everyone around me is strong, I'll feel weaker than I already do," Kurt offered sadly as he got up to hug them both.

"It's just horrible. It looks like Blaine lying in that bed, but it doesn't at the same time. Without even seeing wounds, I can tell that there's something not right with him…he looks empty," Rachel spoke softly as she took a few steps closer to the bed.

"Blaine hasn't been the same since…before it all happened. Understandably so, but I just don't even know where my head's at anymore," Kurt sighed as he closed his eyes and placed his head into his hands.

Finn came over and held his brother's shoulders tightly as Rachel approached Blaine. She reached a hand out and brushed her fingers softly through Blaine's loose curls.

"It's funny, I'm so not used to seeing his hair without all of the gel," She said thoughtfully as she continued to brush her fingers through them completely taken in by the feeling.

"If Blaine was awake, he's be mortified that we've all seen him without his gel for longer than 5 minutes…or at least he would've been," Kurt didn't know how to refer to what Blaine would really do if he were awake right now. He'd probably completely freak out over all of the people in the room or jump out of the bed in fear from Rachel touching him.

"I have to admit, it's weird seeing him like this. The dude's normally so full of life," Finn admitted as he gazed down at the comatose Warbler.

Kurt just nodded sadly and placed his head back into his hands.

"You look completely drained and look like you could use some coffee," Rachel pointed out. "Lima Bean? My treat."

Kurt smiled lightly at her as dropped his hands down to his lap. "I appreciate it, but I can't leave him here alone."

Mercedes and Rachel shared a look of complete hopelessness, which surprisingly cued Finn to say something.

"You can leave this room for more than five minutes, you know. Staying in here isn't going to make the situation any better."

Kurt felt anger in his chest erupt from Finn's words and was about to snap at him until he took a second to realize that Finn was absolutely right. Kurt wasn't making the situation any better for Blaine, he was trying to make it better for himself, really. He was certain he wasn't leaving Blaine's side due to the fear that he could be attacked again, but Karofsky was in jail right now; who else would be coming to attack him? Kurt felt guilty that he wasn't there for Blaine during the stand off with Karofsky and he was trying to remedy it by never leaving his boyfriend's side. Whether Blaine was himself or not, Kurt was sure that he wouldn't be too keen on the idea of him never leaving him alone. How was he ever expected to heal if Kurt planned on treating him like an infant who couldn't be left to their own devices?

Footsteps sounded breaking them all away from their thoughts as Mrs. Anderson walked tentatively into the room. She looked as if she hadn't slept at all since Kurt had seen her last. Her dark hair seemed to lack life and her eyes didn't hold the normal shine they normally did. The look of a troubled mother plagued with worry for her only child showed on every inch of her face.

"It's wonderful to see you all here for Blaine," She stated, breaking the silence that had befallen the room. Her attempt at a smile was light, but her effort showed. "I couldn't stay for very long at work; I just couldn't wrap my mind around any business. It's difficult to show off houses when your child is lying in a coma."

Kurt stood up and pulled her into a hug that she so desperately needed.

"I take it you've been here all day," She replied after the hug with a soft chuckle at Kurt.

Kurt nodded in response with a slight sheepish grin. "I didn't want to leave him alone."

"As long as he has you, Kurt, he's never alone," Mrs. Anderson stated matter-of-factly.

That statement made Kurt feel a little bit better. The motherly tendencies she offered towards Kurt were more helpful than she could ever have known.

Mrs. Anderson then introduced herself to Mercedes, Rachel and Finn which seemed to brighten the sorrowful situation slightly.

"Jonathan, my husband," She began to the other three who had never met Blaine's father. "Will be here in a couple of hours. He has a few more clients and then he'll be on his way. I think now would be a good time for you to go home for a little while, Kurt. You could really use a break from all of this."

Kurt opened his mouth to protest, but she stopped him before he could even begin.

"At least go home for a shower. Just an hour away from this hospital is all I ask. You need some time away from this hospital room; it's killing you to sit there in that chair with nothing to do but stand vigil at his bedside, honey. I promise I will call you if there's any change," She insisted.

Kurt looked like he wanted to protest again, but she gave him her stern motherly look. "Please, Kurt, for me. Just for an hour at least. Some fresh air would be wonderful for you, I'm sure of it. Trust me, I'm a mom," She finished with a sad smile.

Kurt gave up trying to resist her plea and gave a hesitant nod.

"If anything changes—"

"I will call. I promise. Now go get some air, sweetie and I'll see you in a little bit, OK?" Mrs. Anderson replied, pulling Kurt into another hug.

Kurt followed his friends over to the door, but stopped in the doorway and looked back over his shoulder to Blaine longingly. He definitely wasn't leaving this room of his own accord, but maybe Mrs. Anderson was right, maybe some air and a shower would make him feel a little better. He doubted it, but he could at least try. Plus, he really did need to work on giving Blaine a modicum of space, whether he was aware of it or not. He really couldn't be glued to Blaine's side 24/7 and he needed to start trying to give him just that little bit of space.

Kurt stepped out of the steaming hot shower feeling slightly better than he thought. He wasn't accustomed to abandoning his hygiene and most importantly his nightly facial cleansing ritual, but for Blaine, he would abandon everything. He rubbed a towel through his dripping hair and glanced at himself in the mirror. Dark circles hung beneath his eyes which were still red and puffy. All that crying wasn't doing his vanity any favors, that was for sure. Normally he'd be mortified by his appearance, but right now his concerns lie in far more pressing matters.

He wrapped his towel around himself and exited the bathroom to get dressed into some fresh clothes. The feeling of freshly laundered fabric against his skin, courtesy of Carole, felt heaven sent. He would have to thank her for tending to his laundry that had desperately needed to be done.

He had just finished adjusting his tie when he glanced over at his bed where all his unfinished homework laid spread out and unfinished. A small studious part of his being was concerned about falling behind, but he could barely take his mind off of Blaine for .2 seconds. He'd have to make it a point to take the homework with him to the hospital to finish. He knew he had to go back to school tomorrow and if he didn't have his work done, boyfriend coma or no, he'd probably be in a world of trouble. Kurt didn't really want his teachers to throw him a pity party as it was anyway. He wanted to maintain his composure and do what he had to do. He enjoyed being allowed the day to guard Blaine, but he'd feel more respected if he carried on with as much strength as he could.

The sound of his phone ringing on the nightstand tore his gaze away from the dormant homework.

He felt his heart clench. He couldn't wait for the day when his phone ringing didn't send his anxiety into a frenzy. He longed for the days when it would just be a friend asking to catch a movie or talk about stupid teenage gossip. The feeling that the phone could bring horrible news was a feeling he didn't want to get used to.

He held his breath as he picked up his phone and glanced down at the caller ID.

Natalie Anderson

Kurt's stomach twisted into knots as he pressed talk on his phone.

"H-hello?" He answered as his voice cracked from worry.

"Kurt, honey? I realize you haven't been gone as long as long as I had hoped you could be, but I promised I would let you know if there was any change," Came Mrs. Anderson's voice.

Kurt waited for her to continue as he continued to hold his breath waiting to hear the worst: that Blaine wasn't going to wake up. His heart had given up and that he was gone forever.

"Jonathan's on his way from work now and it happened only a few moments ago, but Kurt, honey, Blaine's awake."

The joy in Mrs. Anderson's tone was enough for Kurt to release the breath that he had been holding.

"H-he's awake?"

"Yes, honey, just a few minutes ago."

"I knew I shouldn't have left," Kurt responded mentally kicking himself for going along with it.

"No, honey, it's all right. We couldn't have known when he'd wake up and you needed a break. Kurt...he's actually talking. He's talking again, sweetie and he's asking for you."

"I'm on my way," Kurt responded, not waiting for any additional information.

OK guys, two words. Blaine's awake! I know you've all been waiting for this! And of course, as per usual me, I just had to leave it right there. =) Sorry that this isn't as long as I usually write, but boy oh boy do I need sleep! Now that my computer's virus free, we should be getting back to those regular updates again! It's been killing me to not update, it really has! =( But I'm glad to be back! Hope you all are still around and love the chapter! Let me know!

-Casey