Here's the explanation. Again, thank you for the alerts, reviews and all the love.

Lisa and Rags make this pretty.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I'm just making stuff up.

January 4th, 2008

Dear Diary,

If you were a person, I could imagine you being a little like Alice, sitting cross-legged on her bed, jumping around in excitement. If you were a person, I'm sure you'd be an excited Alice three days ago.

So I'm going to tell you everything that happened that night, even if I still can't believe it.

That night, I wore a blue dress that Renée gave me for Christmas. It was beautiful and, with the right leggings, I would stand out at the party. So I bugged Emmett to drive me to the party and, once I arrived, I spotted Alice talking to Jasper. She was already a little drunk.

We talked for a while, until she said she needed to talk to me. We went to her bedroom, and when I sat on her bed, she started questioning me about Edward.

"What's up with you and Edward?" She actually narrowed her eyes at me while asking.

"Nothing, Alice. What are you talking about?" I had to lie. It was too mortifying to admit that I wish something was happening.

"I heard him talking to Riley about you. Why didn't you say something?" She sounded sad, and I got the feeling I was aggravating her by the confused look I must have had on my face.

"Alice, I swear there is nothing between Edward and me. We're not even friends."

I sounded resigned, but I didn't give a fuck at the time. Also, the beer was already making me a little tipsy, making everything much more intense than it really was.

"Why do you sound like that? And why does it seem like I'm missing something?"

So I told her the truth – how I felt, what I thought of him – everything. She stomped out of her room and left me behind. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn't listen to me.

So I decided to talk to Edward and ask for his help, even though I had never spoken more than a few words to him. It was awkward as hell since he was still with his friends, so I downed a few beers and vodka first.

Not a good idea.

Seriously.

Instead of asking for his help, I simply asked what his deal was and why Alice thought we had something going on. His answer was, "I talked to Riley about you the other day. I said you were kind of hot and smart and funny… I don't know; Alice must have heard me."

And I stupidly said, "Huh? You said all those things?"

He grinned and blushed. He actually blushed. "Yeah… And tonight you look even hotter."

My breathing became shallow – of course – and I got closer to him. From that moment on, I was lost.

After all that, we made out for a couple of hours. It was so intense, and I never felt anything like it before. The other boys were nothing compared to Edward, really.

The way he held me and the way he kissed me… It was all I could do not to faint.

And then he told me he really liked me, but now he's all weird at school, and I think it's because of Emmett.

What should I do? I have no idea.

Why is everything so freaking hard?

B.S.

If you're not already, go read "Real Plastic Trees". It's a great Emmett/Rosalie story, and you will love it.