Author's Note: I apologize for not updating yesterday. I know I've been updating pretty much daily, but the school year did just start and I am a teacher, so things might slow down a bit.

Chapter Seventeen: Step Back

There was a knock on his door a day before he expected to see Elphaba. Maybe she missed being with him as badly as he missed being with her. He smiled as he went to the door. "Elphaba… oh."

Glinda stepped into his room. "Fiyero, I told you. I told you that this was a bad idea, that you might get caught up in this. I swear, if you keep playing with her this way…"

He cut her off. "Playing with her how? I tried to talk to her, Glinda. I did. You know how I feel about her. She wouldn't listen! This was her doing, not mine."

"You slept with her! What did you think was going to happen?" The blonde folded her arms across her chest.

"She wanted to. And when she said it couldn't be anymore than that, I tried to tell her that wasn't enough. But I she begged me and I… what can I say? I gave in."

"Men." Glinda threw her hands in the air.

"She started it."

"That is the most childish thing you have ever said, Fiyero." She pointed an accusing finger at him. "Did you ever think she was hoping you'd give in? It would give her an excuse to not get emotionally close to you."

No, he hadn't even though that. As far as he knew, when he'd kissed her, she'd been overwhelmed with lust, with emotion, and couldn't help herself. He didn't like the idea that she'd manipulated him like that. "I don't think that's why she did it, Glinda. That may be the result, but I don't think that's her."

"Maybe not. I don't know. You two are out of control. I don't know what to do about this mess anymore. Fiyero, how do you feel about her?"

"I'm fairly certain that I'm in love with her."

"And you told her that?"

"She wouldn't let me."

"Really? It's a short sentence."

He sighed heavily. "Fine. That's only part of it. Glinda, this whole time, she has continued to remind me that she doesn't want anything serious. If I told her, Glinda, she'd run and we don't have the luxury of time for me to pursue her. I know she's afraid to get dragged into something and I am not going to drag her in. Not until… not until I can take my time with her. And that doesn't happen until this charade is over. Until then, I can't ask that of her."

"You imbecile! You already dragged her in with your stupid little fake relationship. And then you went and had sex with her!" Glinda snapped. "Neither one of you has any clue what you're doing."

"That's for sure." He paused. "Should I tell her?"

"She'll run. You're right."

"Then what do I do?"

"I told you. I don't know. You're the one who went and made a mess of things. The best I can tell you not to push her. Maybe she'll come to you, though I doubt it."

"That's helpful," he muttered.

"What do you want from me?" Glinda demanded, striding towards the door. "I'm the one who told both of you not to do this. Don't expect me to get you out of it." The door slammed behind her.

He collapsed onto his bed. There was only one solution, though he didn't like it. He had to play along until this was done. The idea of keeping away from her like that for so long, of letting things hang as they were, was not one he relished. But what else was he supposed to do?

When she came to his door the next day, he pulled her into a hug, afraid that if he kissed her it would trigger something neither one of them could stop. Looking around the hallway, he took her hand and pulled her into his room.

As soon as she knew no one could see them, she dropped his hand. "I thought we could talk about this summer."

So she really was going to pretend like everything was fine, then. How on earth could she behave as though they hadn't felt the most intense passion in each other's arms only days before? But he remembered Glinda's advice not to push her. "Right. Like I said, I was going to ask your father for your hand."

"And if he refuses?"

"Then I ask you anyway. That's what you would want if this were real, isn't it? For me to disregard your father's wishes if they went against yours?"

She nodded. "Good. How long are you coming out for, again?"

"Two weeks." He didn't want to overstay his welcome with her. "Um, Elphaba, what boundaries do you want when we're at your father's house? I know we acted very affectionate around my family, but somehow I think that your family might not be as understanding."

"You would be right. But I'm going to leave that up to you, because I personally would love to see my father scandalized. But he won't be very kind about it, and you'd have to listen to hundreds of sermons. You have to decide if you're willing to live with the consequences."

"I will take that into consideration." He couldn't keep acting like this. "Elphaba, what happened on the train between us, we need to talk about it."

"Do we?" She challenged. "If you wanted to talk about it, you could've said something then."

"You know full well if I had tried, you'd have cut me off and we'd have ended up arguing about it or…"

"And you weren't willing to stop fucking me long enough to have a conversation about how we feel. Neither was I. Fiyero, I get it. That's fine with me. That's what I wanted and it's what I expected. And I do not regret what we did. I don't know if you noticed you left a few marks, but that only helps sell our story. Talking about it will get us nowhere. You don't have to explain yourself to me, Fiyero."

He cringed at her words. "Elphaba, that is not it at all." He saw the marks she had mentioned and reached to touch the one that was showing under her high-necked dress. She batted his hand away. "We both got a little overwhelmed."

"For the sake of our friendship, Fiyero, this conversation doesn't need to be had. I know you think that I'm going to want more from you, that you have to be sweet about this, but you really don't. I knew what I was getting when I asked for it. Although I didn't expect the intensity," she laughed, "but I don't think I minded." After a moment, she added, "But we can't let it happen again. We don't need that kind of complication."

He wanted to shake her, to scream at her that he loved her and he didn't care about the rest of the world, about their friendship, he wanted her in his arms, in his life, by his side for the rest of his life and screw everything else. Fiyero could practically see the walls going up around her as she tried to keep him at bay. "Can we talk about it again one day?"

"One day, fine. But not now."

"When this is over, when I'm free, I think that might be a good time to talk about it."

"That is a long ways away. Things change. When time has passed, Fiyero, we'll look at it differently, and you'll see it for what it was: a fling."

"You are so much more than that to me."

"Because I have to be for right now." Elphaba shrugged. "Use it, I guess. If it makes it more convincing, go ahead."

He didn't have a response to that. "Glinda came to see me again," he said, deciding to change the subject.

"I figured she would. I couldn't exactly hide what we'd done, Fiyero. I live with her. And you like to bite and suck a little. It was hard to cover up."

"Have you seen my shoulder?" He'd had to bandage it when he'd gotten back to his room the evening they got off the train.

She shook her head. "Ignore whatever it is she said. She thinks she knows us better than we know ourselves. She doesn't have an opinion in this."

"She was a little angry."

"Let her be. I know she feels caught in the middle, but if she didn't keep inserting herself, she wouldn't be."

"You're sure you're fine, Fae? If you want to talk about this…"

"I don't. I'm fine." But they both knew she was lying.