Learning to Breathe
A/N: Finally, back to work. Sorry for the delay, but I've been stricken temproarily destitute this week after my computor mouse stopped working.
Chapter Twenty-three: Coffee and Chaos
On Monday, supposedly, Zartan was to train Chaos in battle tactics. However, someone in the mess tent made a great mistake. They gave a group of mutants high-octane coffee.
Now would be a good time to pause for a discussion about mutants, teenagers, and caffeine. For some reason researchers have yet to discover, when young mutants are given coffee, they become physically intoxicated. Sugar, which some put in the coffee to disguise the taste, gives young teens an intense high, amplified by their mutations. The end result, in comparison to alcohol, is about eight rounds of tequilla.
"Can you please all try to sit down?" Zartan asked as the three girls, Golem, and Thunderbird bounded off the walls of the mess hall. Chaos, whom he was supposed to train, had vanished for the moment.
"I am sitting." Vampira said, floating above a table.
"I see." The master of disguise groaned, massaging the bridge of his nose in the process. "Now where is Bryan?"
"I want a pixie stick!" Lady Mastermind exclaimed.
"Oh, for the love of… Thunderbird! What the hell are you doing! Get down off of that snack machine!" Zartan barked.
"I want to fly!" Thunderbird shouted.
"You're going to break your neck, you moron!" Andi shouted, she herself surfing on a massive tidal wave from the kitchen.
"Wheeee!!!" The Hindu mutant screamed as he flung himself from the top of the vending machine. To everyone's surprise, he stopped in midair.
"Would you look at that." Mitch commented in a daze. "He can fly after all."
"Yes, yes, that's very nice." Zartan started. "Now get your ass back on solid ground before I have to drag you back!"
"I can't go back down!" Neal shouted, trying unsuccessfully to get back to the machine. "Help!"
"Have no fear!" A voice boomed from behind. The crowd turned to see Bryan, clad head to toe in orange and sporting one of the towls as a cape. "Captain Chaos is here!"
"Oh, lord, he's at it again!" Andi groaned.
"Hey! How come I don't get a cape?" Mitch called to his brother.
"We'll talk about that later." Bryan shrugged. "Now, citizen, relax! I'll have you back on the ground in no time!" With a flourish, the orange-clad hero flew over to Neal and not-so-gracefully yanked him onto solid ground again.
"What the devil is he up to?" Zartan blinked as he watched the spectacle unfold.
"He does this every once in a while." Andi explained. "Usually when he's had too much caffeine."
"I see." Zartan answered, then asked "Why are you still half- sober?"
"You know, I have no idea." Andi thought aloud. "Maybe it has something to do with the high alcohol tolerance on dad's side of the family."
"Sounds good to me." Kristen whooped as she began doing loopdy-loops in the air. "Come fly with me!"
"Andi! You broke the snack machine!" Regan whined. Sparks were indeed flying out of the machine in question.
"Wonder if we can get free candy?" Mitch asked, lumbering up to the dispenser.
"No!" Zartan exclaimed. "Golem, step away from that machine before I…"
"I'll fix it!" Bryan declared. In a flash, he rammed the front of the hopper, causing the glass standing between the kids and an extreme sugar rush to shatter into thousands of tiny bits. "Dig in you guys!"
"That's it, we are banning all snack machines until they turn 21." Zartan grumbled as he watched the six teens rush the vending machine.
"Hey, what's going… whoa!" One of the troopers exclaimed upon entering the mess hall. "What happened?"
"Do you know where Reaver is?" Zartan asked.
"Why?" The other man asked.
"I need to kill him." Zartan said.
"Oh, did he give them a ton of pixie sticks or something?" The oblivious trooper asked.
"No, far worse." Zartan groaned. Having a teenaged mutant daughter of his own, the camouflage mutant knew all too well what caffiene did to a youngster's mind and body. "Do you know where Dr. Mendez hid those tranquilizers?"
"The guns are in the munitions locker, but I'm not sure about the ammo." The man shrugged as a female soldier walked in.
"Holy guacamole!" She exclaimed. "Did someone break into Reaver's Ding-Dong stash?"
"No," the jet haired ninja shook his head, "Reaver gave them some of that new Columbian blend he got in this week."
"That explains why he's cowering in the supply closet." She shrugged.
"Could you two try to keep them in this room?" Zartan asked.
"Where are you going?" The male operative asked in shock.
"I told you, I'm going to kill Reaver." Zartan replied. "Keep them in this room!"
"We'll try." The woman gulped as the sextet of teens began to spin their eyes simultaneously.
XXXXXXXXXX
"I can't believe he hid those in the linen closet!" Zartan grumbled as he stalked back to the cafeteria. "How does he expect anyone to use the tranquilizers if they're tucked away under the towels?" As he approached, he heard the tell-tale signs of human torture.
"HEEEEEEELLLLPPPP!!!!!" A high-pitched voice sqealed.
"What on earth?" The dark haired man grumbled, charging into the mess hall. There, in between a circle of chairs and tables, were the two agents and the new cook. Regan's eyes were glowing neon green, a tell-tale sign that she was using her power to cast illusions in their minds.
"Don't let her burn us alive!!!" The female soldier screamed.
"It's all in your mind, Grayson." Zartan grumbled. "Just climb over it!"
"Halt!" Vampira shouted as he swooped down. "These three are my prisoners."
Thinking quickly, Zartan managed to cover his tracks. "Hold up. I'm here to relieve you of them."
"Huh?" The green eyed boy blinked.
"Those three will escape that sham of a containment cell in no time." Zartan elaborated. "I can take them to the brig for you."
"Cool!" Mitch shouted.
"Wait!" Chaos shouted, floating down to them. "I sent no word to have the prisoners shipped away! What do you really want?"
Andi, who had been painting—using condiments—a quartet of singing geckos on the south wall, heard the growing argument and turned to check it out.
"One of your compatriots asked for my assistance." Zartan answered.
"I didn't." Regan replied.
"You lie!" Neal shouted. "None of us called you here! He's trying to stage a jailbreak!"
Although she knew that Neal was right, the Atlantis felt a nagging tug in the back of her mind that she would regret not saving Zartan later. Dejectedly, she put down her bottle of mustard and walked over to the scene. "Stop, Captain! I called him in here!" She declared.
"I never gave you that order, Aqua girl!" Chaos accused.
"I am not your pawn, Chaos!" Andi growled. "While I like torturing adults as much as you do, I do think that there is a line that should not be crossed. Those two agents have had enough, and that poor chef needs to start fixing lunch! You do all want lunch, right?"
"Lunch does sound really good right now." Mitch wondered aloud.
"You went against my orders!" Chaos shouted.
"But you should obey hers!" Zartan interrupted. "She is the team leader. That means that you have to listen to what she has to say and do what she tells you when she tells you to do it!"
"I don't remember voting on that." Neal scratched his head.
"Then we'll take a vote now!" Regan said, dropping her control. "All for Chaos in charge say 'Aye'."
"Hold on!" Kristen jumped in. "I want to be in charge!"
"Now just a damn minute!" Andi shouted. "You two can fight it out yourselves, just leave me out!"
"Why don't you want it?" Regan asked.
"It's a big headache, that's what!" Andi exclaimed. "Filing report forms, making sure that the others don't kill themselves---It's just a big pain!"
"I don't want it so much now." Bryan said.
"I do!" Kristen said. "All who want me to be team leader, say Aye!"
"Aye!" Bryan shouted.
"I'll stick with Andi." Neal said.
"Me too." Mitch sighed. "Sorry bro."
"Well, I want Kris in charge!"
"So who decides?" Kristen asked. "It's fifty-fifty?"
"Does it go to the Commander?" Neal asked.
"No, it goes to whoever's in charge of recruiting!" Regan asked.
"That's Destro or the Crimson Guard." The chef answered.
"Hell no!" Andi exclaimed. "He'll throw us all out!"
"Then it goes to the boss." Bryan said, turning to Zartan. "Who's in charge, Boss?"
Zartan weighed both candidates in his mind. Vampira, though more ambitious, tended to be overly impulsive. One brash move on a high-stakes mission would end her career. On the other hand, however, Atlantis erred to the side of caution with her teammates, but resorted to bizzarre and risky tacktics that, while effective, had led the team to obscurity. Although she was twice as likely to lead a successful mission, it would take twice the work to make her as bold as her teammate. Despite Creed's shortcomings, though, she was the one the team looked to when something went wrong. Even Mortisson asked Atlantis if something unforseen came up. Andi also took an interest in what was happening with the team, while Kris just wantet to power nap. The choice was surprisingly simple.
"Atlantis will continue running the team." He replied.
"Really?" The blue skinned girl blinked.
"Yes." He nodded. "Now if you don't mind, leave the poor man alone so he can fix dinner."
"Yes sir." The sextet grumbled.