A/N: Hey guys what's up. Seems more people are reading Fayana if the stats on this are anything to judge that by. You guys should leave reviews though. Anyway, this chapter mostly concerns Faye's reaction to Melissa's death so i suppose if death or morbid thoughts are a trigger for you don't read this? Diana is brought up as I intend to have some actual Fayana happen next chapter, so be prepared! And again feedback would be fantastic! Hope you enjoy!

It was too much too soon. She had hardly been hit by one wave before another one sent her reeling. Sharp stabs of grief hit her all over constantly and waves of despair came and went leaving her wasted. Faye couldn't process the situation and she didn't want to. She didn't know how to do anything anymore, as far as she was concerned she was an abomination. She had killed Melissa. If it hadn't been for her Melissa would have lived. It should have been her. It should have been her.

Faye had spent all her tears, she had spent all her emotions except for anger and she tried to drown it out as best she could.

The night of Melissa's death she had gone off and found Nick already drunk, he didn't need to be told anything it seemed. He had hardly spoken a word for the three ensuing days she had spent hiding out with him. Somehow he wasn't blaming her, maybe it was because he was wasted out of his mind most of the time, but hey- so was Faye. Eventually Nick left, slurring that he was taking a trip- he had people to talk to. He even hinted at knowing what had really happened to Melissa, but after that he wouldn't speak another word and when he did it amde no sense. Faye had no idea what he was talking about.

It became so that she didn't even care. She didn't care about anything, the agony that was losing Melissa was too much to face and she liked the numbness. When she finally stumbled home her mother just gave her a look, not one of passing judgment but of understanding. Her mother tried to be there for Faye, but as she always had she kept her distance. Inside her room Faye tried to move on, to stop the re-runs of Melissa's dead body appearing before her eyes.

But nothing she was doing would make them stop.

When she slept she only heard the demons voice taunting her and sometimes it was Diana dead and not Melissa. That was the worst reminder of Faye's situation. If Diana hadn't woken her up maybe Faye would have died without passing the demon on. Death would have been so much better than this. Faye was almost envious of the silence and void that Melissa had been delivered into, Melissa wouldn't ever have to deal with this sort of thing. Then again that just sent Faye into a reel of all the time she had spent with Melissa, of all the things they had shared and enjoyed together. Nobody had known Faye better, hell nobody had known her. Melissa- Melissa had probably never been aware of how key she was in Faye's life.

Faye had never really let her friend know that behind all the jabs and jokes was a real need and now perhaps Melissa had died thinking- no, Faye thought tiredly as she rested in the dim twilight that was her room. Melissa was dead and that was it, end of story. Thinking about the what if's would drive Faye to join Melissa on the other side, and although her constant misery nearly drove her to madness..

She didn't want to die. Not yet.

Now it had been a week since Melissa's death and Faye still sat in the dark of her room. Her mind caught in the loop of morbid thoughts that had ensnared her. Faye had tried, although feebly, to pick herself up but the yawning pit inside of her pulled all the light out of Faye. The only person she had seen for days was her mother and she had only seen her when Dawn tried to get Faye to eat.

Dawn had come in an hour ago, or maybe three hours ago, to let her know that Melissa's funeral would be the next day. Faye wondered if her mother had told her this already but she just hadn't heard. She wondered if Nick would be at the funeral. Sighing, Faye picked herself up and stumbled over to her window. It was a sunny with remnants of the rain Faye had caused not a few days ago, letting herself sink completely into the grief. She couldn't do that again, the toll it had taken had been awful and it had only made her feel worse. Faye wondered idly if Diana had known it was her since she had been there the last time Faye had called a storm, she wondered if Diana was okay. There was no doubt that she was agonizing over letting this happen, probably taking the weight of the event upon her shoulders- Faye was almost surprised at the unbidden thoughts of Diana that had come into her head. Almost.

She would see Diana tomorrow and maybe then Faye would talk to her about what the demon must have said, why the only person who could have pulled her back was the other girl. Deep down, Faye almost hoped that if Diana had been able to save her from the demon she could save her from her current, shattered state.

A breeze shook the dead branches outside the house and, it felt like those trees would never grow leaves again, like the sun would always be cold. All that existed was a memory and Faye felt like she was going to be stuck in this state of stark winter and grief until her life simply blinked out.

She stayed by the window until the sun went down and the darkness settled around her. With one last glance out towards the night Faye got prepared to sleep, praying for just one dreamless, nightmare free night. Her prayer went unheard.

The next morning was fittingly gray, mist blanketed the town, smothering all its noises. Faye rose early and suddenly, shuddering from another dark dream. Catching her breath she arranged an outfit for the funeral and wake.

After a brief inspection of her closet Faye chose a simple black dress which was modest in length but low cut. She had bought it on a shopping spree with Melissa and it seemed fitting. Faye began to get dressed before she could sink into some sort of decrepit memory lane. She enjoyed the ritual of making herself look presentable, cover-up to mask the shadows under her eyes, something for her chapped lips and dry skin, fixing her hair and maybe a mint or two to cover the alcohol on her breath. For the first time in days Faye saw herself in a mirror and was pleased to see that with the hours of getting ready she didn't look like she'd been crying in a dark room for an unhealthy amount of time. Unfortunately nothing could mask the grief in her eyes, with a sigh she mused if glasses wouldn't look strange at a funeral.

Her musings were interrupted by the creaking of her bedroom as her mother edged her way in nervously. Seeing Faye already done up for the wake seemed to surprise her mother who stood hesitantly at the border of her room.

"You can come in if you want." Sighed Faye , her voice rough due to lack of use. Dawn walked in quietly, obviously worried that she might say something which would change Faye's relative change in mood.

"We'll be heading to the wake in fifteen minutes- I just wanted to see how you were doing." Dawn peered at Faye anxiously.

"I'm fine; I'll be downstairs in a minute." Faye murmured raising her eyes to meet Dawns. She wished she could do something to relieve Dawn of her anxiety concerning her but she wasn't capable of even a smile at the moment. Her mother nodded and took in a breath as if she intended to say something but changed her mind and walked out of the room with a brief glance back.

Faye stood for a moment longer in her room and took in a deep breath. She wasn't ready to go to the funeral and she doubted that she ever would be but Melissa would have wanted her to go. Stepping outside her room for the first time in days, Faye prepared herself for the long day ahead. For Melissa.