The funeral was a quiet affair, everyone had shown up for the occasion. In sober balcks and greys it was almost hard to distinguish one person from another. Even Nick had shown up in a suit, although he looked unsteady on his feet and he reeked of alcohol. Faye was quietest of all, as she stood several yards away watching the event. She was sober, clean and alert but she knew that if she saw Melissa's body being lowered into the earth it wouldn't make much of a difference. The girls calm face being shut away forever in the dark, especially horrible ona dull rainy day like this one. Melissa would never see the sun again. Faye held back a sob and took a deep breath. Her mother, who stood listening to the sermon being given, gave Faye a reproachful look. Faye knew it'd be best that she be there by the grave as Melissa probably would have wanted it, but to let others see her like this? Cassie, Adam, Nick, and then Dianna, they were standing there looking broken. Like they had the right, except for Nick none of them had really known her as well as Faye had.
Especially not Cassie, how dare she cry here. Faye ducked her head and walked briskly towards the grave, taking the risk and swallowing her pride. She would be strong for Melissa, and let the other know that it was Faye who felt this the most. Nearing the small gathering, she tried not to make any eye contact and stood by her mother. Eyes fixed on the lowering grave; she had been just in time to catch it. The air was damp and musty with the smells of dirt and mold, underground smells. Something that Faye didn't think she would forget. The rain began to fall harder and the sound of umbrellas pierced the dull quiet. Faye let it fall on her, her umbrella lying uselessly in her car.
Suddenly the rain had stopped falling on her and Faye looked up in bewilderment to find that someone had placed an umbrella over her. Turning to face the offending person, her words died in her throat. It was Dianna. She was gazing at Faye with a look that she couldn't quite place, it wasn't pity or condolences or any other bullshit she'd been seeing in peoples eyes. Dianna simply held Faye's gaze for a long moment and turned towards the grave, Faye was grateful for this. She had heard too many people telling her they were sorry, or what a tragedy this was. This small moment between them, Dianna and herself, calmed the storm inside of her. She didn't know why somehow, subconsciously she had come to rely on Dianna but now she was too tired to deny it. Glancing at the other girl, she thought of saying something but what was there to say. There where no words in her yet, and as the other girl stared serenely at the burial, her brown eyes glistening Faye figured Dianna didn't have any either.
As the dirt was tossed and the last acts finished, people filtered away from the fresh grave. Dark murmurs lost in the dampness like the sound the dirt had made as it hit the coffin. Faye stood still, trying to collect herself her insides still feeling like open wounds. Faye wondered for again when the grief might fade, someday maybe but that seemed so far now. Dianna was still by her side, and Faye turned to her, opening her mouth to say something. Somehow, nothing could get past the lump in her throat but before she could even try again she was in Dianna's arms. Stiff and stunned, Faye didn't move as Dianna held her in a tight grip. The other girls body was warm and comforting in the cold.
"I know words don't mean anything, but it'll be okay, Faye. Melissa would have wanted you to be ok." Came Dianna's warm voice in her ear, Faye almost felt like jerking back and arguing that point but she let it go. Letting herself fall into Dianna's embrace she let out a deep sigh, almost a sob. All the fight in her seemed petty now.
"Why are you doing this Dianna? Why don't you leave like the others?" Murmured Faye, her voice muffled in Dianna's shoulders. The other brunette stepped back, a hand still on Faye's arm. Looking into her eyes Dianna paused, looking as if she was contemplating the right thing to say.
"It's because I care about you Faye, and you never let yourself believe it but I do. I always will, and that night you almost died-" Dianna took a breath and lowered her eyes, "I'm glad you're here. I want you to know that." Faye tilted her head to the side, the rain now falling into her eyes again. The way Dianna was looking at her, Faye couldn't doubt her sincerity and she remembered that night all of this had begun. Dianna had said the same thing, and Faye had almost told her something she hadn't even known she was feeling before then. This girl in front of her, who almost seemed as broken as Faye had been feeling- Faye realized that she genuinely meant what she said. That she was glad Faye was alive, after all she had brought Faye back into the world on that terrible night. Clenching her jaw Faye made a decision.
Grabbing Dianna's hands in her own Faye did something reckless, but she needed to show Dianna what she had meant to say that night. Pulling her closer, Faye crashed her lips into Dianna's, putting all her suppressed feelings into that one action. The despair and grief, the desperate need to be wanted and cared for all blending into one thing as she held Dianna. Breaking off suddenly she backed away breathless and gazed at Dianna waiting for a reaction. Faye couldn't help but abstractly wonder at the absurdity of this situation, Melissa's grave hadn't even settled as they stood beside it and she had just kissed Dianna Meade. The action left her feelinga bit of herslef return to her, the girl who might not have thought twice about pairing taht kiss with loud words and going in for seconds. The gray sky continued to release torrents of rain, but now the umbrealla lay discarded in the grass.
Dianna could feel her face getting red, this situation was just spiraling. She couldn't even wrap her head around how inappropriate it was, but then again what about this was appropriate. One of her best friends was buried six feet under ground in a wooden box and another friend had just grabbed her and- and kissed her. Stuttering, Dianna attempted to ask why it was Faye had done it- but she already knew the answer. Somewhat anyway, taking a tentative step toward the other girl she moistened her lips before saying anything. The realization and almost epiphany that Faye had feelings for her almost rendering her mute.
"I- Faye I didn't know- I'm sorry." She said pleadingly, her lips still buzzing from the kiss. Dianna had a sudden urge to touch them but stopped herself and instead grabbed Faye as she turned away. "Listen to me. I don't know what I should say, Faye. Y-you just do this out of nowhere and I don't know how to feel." Dianna knew she was rambling, but Faye had a stung look on her face and as was becoming a habit lately- Diana just wanted to help her. Not knowing what to do, and feeling like yet something else was finally breaking loose- never to be in her control again- she kissed Faye. This kiss wasn't a smash, or a burst of emotion, but soft and slow. It held Dianna's good intentions, trying to kiss away all of Faye's pain. She had been through too much, and Dianna couldn't stop herself from trying to carry some of that weight for Faye if she would let her. To just let the other girl not be alone, a feeling that grew stronger with every second. Dianna hadn't been given a chance to be confused about this situation, but now kissing Faye it didn't matter. Faye leaned into the kiss and her tears pressed to both the girls cheeks, blending in with the rain that had soaked them through. Breaking the kiss, Dianna looked at Faye hesitantly not knowing what would happen from here. The two stood looking at each other both knowing that a line had been crossed and there would be no going back. Dianna noted that now Faye looked calm for a change, and Dianna was glad that at least she could have given her that. Still holding Dianna's hand, Faye didn't smile but the sadness in her eyes had receded just a bit. Maybe something like that could make all the difference.
"Thank you." She murmured, the girls voice sounding hoarse. She knelt down to pick up the discarded umbrella and handed it back to Dianna.
A call came suddenly from across the cemetery and both girls turned sharply to spot Faye's mother through the misty rain, waving for the girls to get out of the through the rain at her mother Faye squeezed Dianna's hand and began to wordlessly walke away, becoming a hazy figure through the curtains of water. Dianna watched her go, feeling as if maybe this could be a good thing even in light of tragedy. Glancing one last time at Melissa's grave, the pangs of sadness came again but now she could manage them. Melissa would have thought this was funny, Dianna decided. Melissa would have liked it that two of her friends had found each other to get through the pain of mourning. Glancing at the grave one last time, Dianna turned in the directio of her car- pondering when it was all of this would hit her instead of feeling like a dream.