The trial had been a disaster as far as Texas was concerned. For three days she had sat on the hard wooden benches high in the courtroom, Doug on one side of her, and Jodie on the other offering a reassuring hand. The small grey figure in the dock looked so insignificant, but Texas could feel his presence humming all around in the vast room. Just having to be there seeing him, felt to Texas like all the oxygen was being sucked from the air, suffocating her slowly, painfully In the end the trial had only run for those three agonising days before Silas had been declared mentally unfit and proceedings had been halted. Her friends had tried to reassure her that Silas would still be held at a maximum-security psychiatric unit. He wouldn't be able to hurt anybody else. But the justice for India that she so desperately craved still eluded her, and now it looked like she would never get that final resolution. She would never feel the satisfaction of seeing Silas' face as he was sentenced to life imprisonment, as he was called to account for his sins.

She hadn't been able to sleep properly since. The nightmares that had dogged her before the trial becoming increasingly frequent, to such an extent that every time she closed her eyes her mind was flooded with images of sly twisted smiles, demonic eyes, broken and twisted bodies, and the most horrific screams. Images of her and India swirled around her mind. And then there was Jodie. Also a common visitor in her dreams. Jodie who had sat and comforted and held and reassured her for those toughest of three days. Jodie who had disappeared off the face of the Earth again.

Her university work was beginning to suffer, she hadn't even begun work on her latest photography project yet, something about movement. She couldn't even imagine how to begin tackling that at the moment when her own world felt like it had been pulled to an abrupt stop, then shattered into thousands of irreparable pieces. Winter had dragged by, grey day after grey day unchanging. Before she knew where she was January had slipped into February.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Two beers please Dodger" Texas requested at the bar, getting the drinks in for Leanne and herself. Leanne had dragged her out of the flat that afternoon down to SU Bar. As usual a bit of a mistimed effort on Leanne's part to try and get her to cheer up, but Texas knew that she meant well, and you never know, maybe getting out of the house would help her to stop dwelling on things for a couple of hours. Maybe it might help clear her head.

As she stood waiting at the bar waiting for Dodger to bring over her drinks she was startled by a pair of hands that covered her eyes in a playful gesture. Before she could 'guess who' Dodger greeted the person behind her "Jodie," he said dryly. Texas took Jodie's soft hands in her own removing them from her eyes. She looked her shoulder. Yes there was Jodie. She hadn't seen her for a few weeks. Nor heard from her. Yet all those feelings, feelings of confusion Texas told herself, nothing more, were still right there bubbling away, niggling at her insides.

"Well, hello stranger." Texas greeted Jodie, trying to keep things light.

Dodger popped the top off one of the bottles and set it down on top of the bar. "Oh, is this for me?" Jodie grabbed the bottle taking a long sip. "So what's been happening?" She leant on the bar, close to Texas; smiling, friendly, like nothing was amiss. Like she hadn't been dodging Texas' phone calls and texts and messages again.

"Oh, you know, just…" Texas fiddled to get her purse back in her bag, finding it hard to look directly at Jodie. Having her this close to her again, being able to smell her sweet scent, those feelings of confusion were battling there way to the surface again.

"Oh wait," Jodie interrupted her anyway. Then Texas realised that Jodie was reaching out to touch her face, gently caressing the skin on her cheek.

"Wha' what you doing?" Texas asked flinching away from the touch.

"Look you've got a wish"

"What?"

"Will you just hold still," Jodie asked, before holding up an eyelash on the tip of her finger.

Dodger plopped down a third bottle on the bar "We at it again ladies?"

"It's an eyelash, you make a wish." Jodie said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Which it is realised Texas. People do it all the time. Yes normally as an excuse to be close and intimate with somebody. The confusion raged on inside of her. She conceded to bend her head and gently blew against Jodie's finger.

Jodie laughed, took her drink from the bar and patted Texas on the arm "C'mon let's go," she said and walked off towards the pool table where Leanne was waiting.

"I know what I wish for." Dodger muttered suggestively as he watched Jodie go. Texas rolled her eyes in resigned disgust as she handed Dodger the money for the drinks before picking up the two bottles for her and Leanne and then following Jodie across the room.

For the next half hour she watched as Jodie thrashed Leanne at pool. Jodie probably had a slightly unfair advantage as Leanne spent most of the game batting her eyelashes in the direction of a guy sitting alone at the other end of the bar. Finally the game finished Leanne handed her cue to Jodie. "Hold this," Leanne said before strutting confidently over to the guy, introducing herself, and then sitting down at the table with him.

Jodie laughed as she watched her go, "She's crazy."

Texas laughed and nodded along. Yes Leanne might be a bit out there, she thought, but at least she was not afraid to go after what she wanted. She took Leanne's pool cue from Jodie, "okay rack 'em up," she said indicating to Jodie that she wanted a game.

Texas carefully tried to line up her next shot. Jodie was giving her a bit of a thrashing. As she bent down low, pulling the cue back Dodger walked past slapping her on the bottom as he went "Oop balls giving you trouble Tex?" he joked. Texas shook her head, next to her Jodie sniggered lightly.

"Sometimes you just need a gentler touch," Jodie advised her. Texas felt an unfamiliar jolt of tension shoot through her as Jodie wrapped herself around Texas, pressing her front flushly against Texas' back, carefully guiding Texas' hands on the cue as they took the shot together. Texas felt like time had slowed to a stop as she felt Jodie's warm breath against her face, and the heat of Jodie's body against hers. Jodie seemed to linger there for what seemed like an eternity to Texas as they watched the ball slowly roll towards the pocket, but in reality was just for the briefest moment after the ball had been potted. They were moulded together as one in this place; Jodie's chin resting on Texas's shoulder. For a moment the rest of the world seemed to fade into the background. All of Texas' problems drifted away for a second, a calm peace settled over her. Then reality returned. Jodie stepped away, and when Texas turned to look at her she found that Jodie was smiling and flirting with Dodger across the room. The heavy clouds of confusion descended again.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Texas said looking between Jodie and Dodger.

"Do what?" Jodie asked her, turning her attention back to Texas.

"You know it's cool, whatever's going on between you 'n'" Texas indicated her head in Dodger's direction, Jodie following her glance. "You don't need to use me to make him jealous, it's not going to work, he's not like that"

"Wait hold on," Jodie tried to interrupt Texas, but Texas ignored her carrying on, "and also I have to put up with all of his comments, it's just," Texas sucked air through her teeth, a sound of annoyance.

"You think I'm using you?" Jodie sounded a little put out.

"No no no, not like that," Texas hadn't wanted to offend Jodie. Really she just wanted to know where she stood, but she was too afraid to ask. "I just meant, you know, with all the like ooh eyelash and New Year," Texas made some offhand kissing noises. She didn't want Jodie to know how much she had been obsessing over that night.

"When we kissed?" Jodie was much more forthright.

"Yeah when you kissed me"

"Alright, well when I kissed you and you kissed me back"

"Well I don't think I did?" Texas wasn't sure anymore.

Jodie laughed shortly "Okay."

"I didn't."

"Okay." Jodie lined up her next shot, potting it with ease. "Woo, yes!" Jodie up-stretched her arms in victory. She looked over at Texas who still looked deep in thought, "What's the matter?"

"Oh nothing, nothing sorry, I was just, erm, sorry, look I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression." Texas wondered if somehow she was actually the cause of this mess. Had she unwittingly given some signal to Jodie that she wanted more than friendship? She felt so utterly confused about everything now. Jodie liked Dodger didn't she? Texas knew she liked men. So surely the kiss was a bit of over exuberant fun. But why had Jodie been so distant since, and why did Jodie seem upset when Texas had inferred that the kiss was completely one-sided?

"You don't need to freak out about it." Jodie walked away to sit down at a table.

I'm not freaking out." Texas reasoned sitting down at the table with Jodie, though inside she wasn't so sure.

"Well it was just a kiss," Jodie's mood seemed light and unruffled again.

"I know, yeah, but I must have done something, given you some sort of sign to make you think tha'"

Jodie interrupted her. "Look, if you kissed a guy and it never went anywhere would you still feel the need to analyse it and have this big conversation?

"No." Texas shook her head. Jodie was right, why was she obsessing over this?

"No, so can we just let it go please." Jodie smiled.

"Okay," Texas laughed, "but as long as you're alright?"

Jodie exhaled sharply. "Seriously Texas," her eyes rolled towards the ceiling in exasperation, "do I look bothered?" Texas shook her head meekly, no Jodie didn't look bothered, but something was still niggling at her, was Jodie just putting up a front? No Texas, she admonished herself, Jodie likes Dodger. The kiss was just a one-time thing. Let it go. Just let it go.

"Do you want another drink?" Jodie asked Texas looking over her shoulder at the bar.

"Erm," Texas looked down at her watch. She knew she had nowhere to be, but for now she felt like she needed to get away from Jodie for a bit, clear her head. "No I should probably go."

"But what about your mate, Leanne, remember her?"

Texas looked over to where Leanne was giggling with the guy she had gone over to talk to. "She is fine," Texas laughed.

"Okay, but we're cool though right," Jodie looked at Texas for some reassurance.

"Yeah of course, like you said don't over analyse it," Texas worked to keep her tone light, breezy, casual. Pretty much the opposite to what she was actually feeling. Texas waved over at where Leanne was, calling out, "oh Leanne I'll see you later!" Leanne looked over to her, smiling "bye!" she called out.

Texas stepped out onto the small patio area outside the SU Bar. She had not noticed the pained look on Jodie's face as she had left. She was too caught up with her own emotions. It was just a kiss, she repeated to herself, it meant nothing. But did Jodie want it to mean something?

Did she? Texas felt like she was caught up in an unsolvable maze, circling round and round, but always ending up returning to the same starting point of uncertainty.