Chapter Twenty-Five: Confession

He knew he should be patient; she might not come to talk to him right away. But the minute he got back to his room, he found himself restless and unable to think about anything else. Within minutes, he was pacing and fiddling with everything within reach. Fiyero barely slept that night, either, until he finally gave in and knocked on Boq's door to ask for some sleeping draught. He'd never needed it before, so he had none.

When she showed up the next day, he'd been up for hours. He grabbed her and kissed her hard, closing the door with a kick of his foot. His hands wound around her waist and she grasped behind his neck. As they drew apart, she whispered, "We're never going to talk if you kiss me like that."

"And you want to talk?"

She nodded and sat down on his bed. "I do. I think we need to."

"I'm glad you agree." He sat beside her and took her hand in both of his. "Elphaba, I love you. I know that's a lot of take in, but I can't help myself. And it's not because of the pretending, or for any other reason. I knew there were feelings there when I asked you to pretend to be my girlfriend; that's why I thought it was believable. You're everything I wanted. I promise you this is real."

"I know," she said quietly. "I love you, too, Fiyero. I tried not to, but I've realized that's not something I can control."

"I was hoping you'd say that." He smiled. She did love him. Yes, he'd thought that she probably did, but hearing it from her sweet lips made it even better. "You're incredible. I knew I wanted to find someone I loved, but I don't think I really knew what that meant until you."

"I didn't know I could love until you," she replied.

"So can we do this, for real? You and me. I've thought for days and I don't know what we'd do with our fake relationship. But I do know I want a real one."

"As far as everyone else is concerned, we're still engaged. Between the two of us, we're just doing whatever this is."

"Dating."

"Yes, that." She laughed a little. "We can do that. And I promise you, no matter what happens between us, I will keep pretending."

"If this doesn't work out, you don't have to, though. I'm willing to risk that. You don't have to make that promise. Honestly, Fae, if I can't have you, I don't want anyone else and I might as well…" He flushed. "I shouldn't say that."

"Probably not."

"So we can do this?"

"Yes. We might want to establish a few things, though. I don't want you trying to take care of me. You already do, I know. But I'm still going to fight you. This doesn't change that. You understand?"

"I do." He put a hand on her knee. "Will you stay with me during the holidays this year? All of them? I mean, it does make sense with us being 'engaged,' and with us being us. You shouldn't have to stay here alone. My mother will be so happy if you come."

"I can imagine." She seemed to think for a moment. "Perhaps I will."

He hugged her. "I love you."

"You already said that."

"You're not very comfortable with me saying it, are you?"

"Not constantly. Fiyero, I do love you. But I need time to adjust to this. You're a lot to handle when we're only pretending. I'm sure it will only be worse now." But her tone was teasing.

"Will you stay the night more often? I promise not to be too much to handle."

"Oh, I think when we're in bed you're even more to handle."

He raised his eyebrows at that.

"That's not what I meant. I mean, I did… oh, forget it." Elphaba laughed. "I'll stay the night more as long as you stop trying to tend to my every need."

"What about, um, your physical needs?"

Her eyes lit up at that. "You can 'tend' to those any time you like, my sweet. But maybe you should try and keep the sucking and biting to places the rest of the world can't see?"

"I'll do my best." He couldn't help it, though. He just wanted all of her, to consume her. And yes, sometimes he took that maybe a bit too literally. But the noises she made when he did made it clear she didn't mind in the least. "Could you trim your nails? It didn't hurt at the time, but I've got a few scratches down my back that sting a bit."

She flushed. "I lose control a bit."

"And that is perfectly fine." He kissed her nose. "I do, too."

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

"I'm a bit surprised, too. I thought you'd try harder to stop it."

"I've been doing that for months. I've realized that's the only strategy that absolutely will not work."

"Fae, when you asked me, that night on the train right after we visited my family for the first time, to make love, you knew I was going to tell you, didn't you?"

She nodded.

"Is that the only reason you…?"

"No, of course not. I wanted you more than anything. That just spurred me into actually doing something about it. But I was afraid I wanted more, and I didn't want to tell you that. So I distracted you with something we both wanted, Fiyero."

"And on the train the other day? You really were just lonely?"

"You're the only thing in the world that can push everything else out of my head, Fiyero. And after the summer I've had, I needed that. When I'm with you, it's like the only thing that matters is what you're doing to me."

"I find it a bit hard to think about anything else around you, too." He kissed her neck. "You're beautiful, you know."

"Yero, don't say that."

"I mean it. Please, let me. You're mine now. And I'm yours. I should be able to tell you that."

She closed her eyes for a moment. "If you insist."

"I do." He pulled her against him. "This is amazing."

"You're too happy," she smiled softly. "I'm still afraid."

"I won't hurt you. I won't let you forget who you are. I love you because of who you are. You can't be blinded to my intentions if they really are just to love you."

"Can I say something?"

"Anything."

"Fiyero, you're too good for me. I don't deserve you. How in Oz did this happen?"

"I don't know. And don't ever say I'm too good for you. I can't imagine anyone better than you. Maybe you don't see that, but I don't see what's so perfect about me. I'm a little whiny, I back down too easily and I'm too accommodating."

"I don't see those things at all."

"Exactly. And I don't see anything wrong with you. I'm sure, in time, we'll find each other's flaws. But we can still love each other with them."

"I'm glad one of us is confident about this."

"I've got enough for the both of us." He began to kiss her again, making his way down to her collarbone. "So… below the neck, huh?"

"I like what you do to my neck, but for the sake of propriety, yes. At least most of the time. In colder weather, I'd be glad to wear scarves more often."

He opened the first button on her blouse and began kissing lower. "Here?"

"Fiyero…" She grasped at his arm. "You're going to make me want to again."

"And if that was the goal?" He opened another button.

"Then you succeeded."