Chapter Twenty-Seven: Holding Back

She was his, really his. Now he just had to keep it that way. He had a sense that she was still a bit hesitant about them. Fiyero knew she needed space and she certainly required time. There were moments when she would be sitting with him, smiling and happy and she'd suddenly shake her head, as if she was trying to snap herself out of something. Why was she still so afraid?

"How are things going with Elphaba?" Glinda asked, putting her books down at the desk next to his.

"She's your roommate. Sometimes I think you know the answer to that question better than I do," Fiyero replied.

She laughed at that. "Maybe. But there are two sides to every story. I just like to know."

"I've noticed that. You're a bit nosy. Well, things are fine, Glinda. For the most part."

"What do you mean 'for the most part?'" She demanded.

"It's just… I feel like she pulls away sometimes. She's still uneasy about it, isn't she?"

"Fiyero, she's trying to be her own person and be with you at the same time and I think she doesn't realize she can do that without having to try so hard and keeping you at a distance. I've talked to her about it. I know it frustrates you. Be patient with her. You knew she'd be like this going in. Give her more time."

"I did know. And I love her just the way she is. I just feel like I've worked so hard just to get here with her, and still she's hiding part of herself from me. I wish she knew she didn't have to."

"She knows. It's actually doing it that's the hard part." She assured him. "And you know she loves you."

"I do."

"Good."

"I'm not complaining, exactly. I'm just happy to have her; you know that. I worry. That's all. I want her to be happy, too."

"And that's why I know you're good for her. She is happy with you, probably more than she'd like to admit." Glinda put a hand on his shoulder. "She adores you. But this is new to both of you, even though it feels like it's been going on for a long time. This is the first time it's real."

That night, he woke up to find her in the corner reading a book by candlelight. "Um, Fae?"

She jumped. "Did I wake you? I can blow it out."

"Why are you up?"

"I couldn't sleep. I've been having the nightmares more often. Glinda keeps waking me. I'm disturbing her."

"You haven't had any when you've been here. Are you afraid to sleep?"

"A little. And I don't want to bother you."

"You could never bother me. You know that, right?" He got up and pulled her back to the bed. "Come to bed. You're probably tired."

"I am," she admitted.

"Then sleep with me. I promise it won't bother me if you have a nightmare. We don't have classes tomorrow, anyway. If I need to sleep later, that's not a big deal." He tugged her down beside him. "You shouldn't be afraid to sleep. Have you tried maybe taking a little draught before bed? Maybe it would help."

"I haven't." She settled in beside him. "You know, you talk in your sleep on occasion."

"What?"

"You do. Nothing intelligible. I only notice it when I'm awake already, anyway, so I'm guessing I sleep through it most of the time. It's actually quite funny. You sound so serious but you're speaking nonsense."

"You never said anything before!"

"I… I thought it was kind of cute." She grinned.

"Come here," he pulled her against him and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Too bad I can't hear myself. If it does ever wake you, let me know?"

"It won't. And I'll probably be the one who ends up disturbing your sleep." She closed her eyes. "I love you, Yero."

"I love you, too."

The next morning, he woke and she was still sleeping. She hadn't moved the slightest all night, and she held a thin smile on her lips. He wondered if maybe she only had the nightmares when she wasn't with him, and if that meant something deeper. Her hair was tangled beneath her and her skin shone with the remnants of the oil she'd used the previous night. If she wasn't getting a lot of sleep, he didn't want to disturb her so he stayed where he was until she finally woke. Sleepily, she blinked and looked at him. "Good morning, sweet love."

"Good morning," he smiled back at her. "No nightmares?"

"Not a one."

"Do you think maybe it's me? That I help? Maybe you should just stay here… I know that's a bit crazy."

"It's very crazy. Maybe it is you, Fiyero. But I can't stay here. We're lucky we don't get in trouble as it is. It's a sweet thought, though." She touched the diamond on his cheek and met his eyes. "I feel safe with you."

"Good, because you are."

She rolled her eyes. "No one is ever completely safe."

"You won't let me be sweet for more than a minute, will you?"

"Nope."

He laughed. "Do you have to get back right away? I like staying in with you. It makes the beginning of the day so much better, and then I can't help but have a good day."

"You are a walking, talking cliché, my love."

"Will you stay or not?"

"That depends. What, exactly, do you intend to do with me if I stay here?" She ran her tongue across her lower lip.

"I might just tie you up and make you stay," he threatened.

"Now that I'd love to see."

He took that as a challenge.

"You are going to untie me at some point, right?" She murmured lazily after they finished.

He made quick work of the scarves he'd used to bind her. "There."

She didn't move right away. "I could lie here for eternity, you know."

He drew her against him. "I know."

"But eventually the euphoria fades and then it's back to life." She sighed. "It would be nice, though, wouldn't it?"

"To have you tied up in my bed forever? You'd never hear me complain." He teased.

"That's tempting, too," she laughed, kissing his cheek. "You're trouble."

"The good kind." He kissed her back. "Fae, you always try to keep things between us light, and you don't have to do that. If you have a problem, like the nightmares, just talk to me. I'm here. Always."

"I've never had something serious," she said. "I don't know how. And I can't tell you everything, Fiyero. Some things have to be mine alone."

"Doesn't it feel better when you talk about it? The nightmares are better when you're with me. That should tell you something."

"You're pushing," she warned.

"I'm sorry. I just want you to understand that this isn't a temporary thing to me. You're not a toy to me. You're the love of my life."

"I never said this was temporary to me." She said defensively.

"I don't think it is, but I think you're trying to play it that way. You're afraid of getting hurt, and I get that. You're afraid of getting in too deep, and I get that, too. But I'm not going to let that happen. I promise."

"Look, I need some time." She got up and dressed quickly. "I'm sorry. This is too much right now." She was out the door before she'd even finished buttoning up her top leaving him gaping in her wake.