Sigh. I'm sorry the updates aren't so frequent anymore, but the previously written chapters that I had stored in my computer are now gone, so it takes me a few days to write one of these.

Lisa and Rags, thank you.

September 29th, 2011

This was the e-mail I sent to Alice:

Hi, Alice.

I'm pretty sure you're freaking out right now just by seeing my name on your screen, but I finally got the courage to e-mail you. You know, to check on things and maybe apologize for what I might have done. I don't know if this attempt at apologizing is futile, but I'm doing it anyway. We're both (hopefully) going through a great phase of our lives, and I wanted to know how you're doing.

So, I guess that's it.

Bella

And I still haven't gotten a reply. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, but I know it's ridiculous to think that she would answer to an e-mail of mine after all the things that must have happened after we left Forks. Still… I do miss her, even if I feel like I don't know her anymore. Who knows? She might be a stuck up princess now, have annoying little friends or even have gotten a nose job. In three (four?) years, lots of things can change, and I'm an example of that.

But it would be nice to get some sort of reply, even just a "fuck off." That way, I would know that she's alive, at least.

I also met a guy this week. His name is Adam, and he works at the Starbucks near campus. He's tall and gorgeous – a little cocky, if you ask me – but he's got a great personality. He hit on me – trust me, it was LOUD and clear – while I was ordering my coffee, and I was late so there wasn't much time to chat, but now I'm sure he doesn't do that to every girl. There are thousands of girls at U-Dub, and I'm worried I'm not that special to be hit on to begin with.

To be perfectly honest, once I moved to Seattle, I accidently bloomed and became a girl with real breasts. Also, my ass transformed, too, which wasn't so bad. The important part was that I acquired a certain confidence (no, not cockiness), and I liked myself more. But now with Edward back in my life – even if I haven't even seen him – I feel insecure again, along with that shitty, sixteen-year old personality that just pisses me off.

I won't get into it too much.

Adam is just a guy, and there are plenty of them out there.

Now I'll just prepare myself for the awesomeness that is the Clearwaters. Sue actually lives with my father, and she's bringing her whole family to have dinner. I think it's nice, and I love them all as a family.

Bella