Chapter Thirty-Two: Compromise
She thought the train ride would be all sex. Despite the fact that the ride was only twenty hours long, Fiyero had insisted that he pay for them to have a compartment to themselves, arguing that it was probably the only alone time they'd have the whole trip. So naturally, she'd figured that was what he wanted. But after only a few hours, when she'd come undone in his arms and cried his name several times, he just held her close.
"You don't talk much about being Thropp Third Descending," he said.
"It's not my favorite thing."
"You don't want it?"
"I never have. And my mother didn't want it for me, either. My father used to tell me she prayed for a boy. Of course, I was certainly not the answer to their prayers in any way."
"You were the answer to mine."
"Oh, stop. Besides, you don't pray."
"Not consciously." He kissed her. "How does your father feel about it?"
"He loved the idea of being related to power, which only made me hate the idea more."
"If you were to become Eminent Thropp, you'd have to stay in Munchkinland for the rest of your life."
"One of many reasons I don't want it. I don't want to be tied down to something I never chose in the first place."
"Look, I don't want to say this and make you uncomfortable, but there might be other reasons you might not want to be tethered to Munchkinland, Fae."
She knew he was talking about them. "I know, Yero. And I won't lie and say that thought hasn't crossed my mind of late. Since we're 'engaged,' I'm guessing it will have crossed my grandfather's mind, too, especially when you show up there with me."
"What will you tell him?"
"That I love you and we'll figure it out."
"Is that going to be enough?"
"Honestly? I don't know. But I can't think of anything better." She realized she'd been absentmindedly tracing one of the diamonds with her finger, like she was mesmerized. "I do love you. That much is true."
"And I love you, too, sweet Fae."
"I'm certainly not sweet," she laughed. "You, on the other hand…"
Fiyero took her hand in his as they entered her great-grandfather's home and the old man was wheeled in (in a chair much like Nessa's). He looked confused upon seeing Fiyero, and turned back to Elphaba. "Fabala, I've been expecting you. I was unaware you were bringing a guest."
"This is Fiyero, my fiancée."
Her great-grandfather squinted as he examined the young man. "Ah, yes, I remember something about there being a boy involved in all of this."
Fiyero bowed courteously. "It's nice to meet you, your Eminence. I asked Elphaba if I could accompany her on this trip, since I seem to have caused some of the trouble. And, if we're to be married, I thought I should meet the rest of her family."
"Fiyero's a prince, Grandfather," she said simply, "in the Vinkus."
"But you're… you're to be Eminent Thropp."
"We understand that, Sir, but we're very much in love." Fiyero dropped her hand and drew her to him by the waist. "We're hoping to find some sort of a compromise, at some point. I love Elphaba, and I'd do anything to make this work."
He sounded so passionate and genuine that for a moment she forgot they weren't really engaged. "Grandfather, you must understand. He's a good man."
"I don't doubt that, Fabala. But your father was very displeased with your behavior as of late. I can't say I put much faith in his words, but he was so adamant that I had to at least ask to see you. Come, you two should sit down." He waved at the unnamed woman who had wheeled him into the room and they were all taken into the parlor where they sat at a table. "What happened with your father, Fabala?"
"You know how Father is. He got upset when Fiyero asked for my hand. When I told Father I didn't care about him giving us his blessing and that I would marry Fiyero anyway, he flew off the handle and threw Fiyero out. I said I was going with him, so he threw me out, too and disowned me." She knew her father would never have told her great-grandfather everything. He'd be too ashamed. So she lied, keeping in the parts the old man did know.
Her great-grandfather shook his head. "I don't know what to say."
"I'm sorry, Grandfather, I really am. I didn't intend to fall in love at Shiz, or ever. But sometimes these things just happen."
"You can't have two lives, one as a queen and one as the eminence. The people of Munchkinland wouldn't stand for it. I don't know about your fiancee's people, but I know ours. And your father would only stir things up."
She didn't know how to respond. Either she came clean and told him they weren't engaged or she gave up the eminence and Shiz with it. She wasn't certain she could do either at the present moment.
"If I may, Sir," Fiyero said politely, "Elphaba's almost finished with Shiz. There's no reason to remove the funding for that. It wouldn't be fair to her and she's worked so hard. But maybe it's time the eminence gets passed to the next available relative. I believe that would mean Nessarose, correct?"
Her great-grandfather sighed. "While Nessa is a good girl, I worry she'd take after Frex a bit too much."
He had a point there and she knew it. "You don't want to let me out of this, do you?"
"Not so easily, no. Elphaba, this was your birthright."
Fiyero squeezed her waist a little. "My birthright was to be king. I need a queen. I don't want anyone but her. There has to be a way we can work this out."
She looked up at him and saw the truth in his eyes. He did want her, and he wanted to marry her. Maybe he hadn't told her yet, but she saw it. And it scared her.
"I can't have Nessarose under your father's thumb and running things. That would be a disaster."
Elphaba stepped away from Fiyero and knelt at her great-grandfather's side. "I understand that. I do. You know I've never wanted this. You know my mother never wanted it for me."
"That wasn't her decision."
"It is mine, though. It's my life. Even if I wasn't getting married, Grandfather, I wouldn't want this. It has nothing to do with him, not really." She looked over at Fiyero, who didn't exactly look pleased with what she was saying. He had to understand, right? This had never been about marrying him; that's why she had wanted to go alone. That was a discussion for another day, and she could only hope he didn't bring it up soon.
"Then what do you propose we do about this?" Her great-grandfather demanded.
"I honestly don't know."
"Then maybe you should think about it. I won't discuss this further today. Why don't you two get settled and I can get to know more about this young man? And I haven't heard anything about your time at Shiz." She knew he was changing the subject, trying to stop her from doing what she wanted. But she also knew that old men were stubborn and there was no point in forcing him.
"Of course, Grandfather." Elphaba reached for her bag. "I know where the guest rooms are. Do you mind if I show Fiyero myself?"
"Go ahead." He waved them away.
She took Fiyero's hand and dragged him up the stairs and through a hallway. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be." He shook his head sadly. "Fae, you're not ready for this, are you?"
"Ready for what?"
"For us. For us to be… real."
"I am, my sweet. I'm just not ready to… take the next step. I'm fine just how we are right now. Things are way too messy, anyway. Let's not complicate them further." She realized they were circling the words again, like they had before they'd admitted their feelings. "I'm not marrying you, Fiyero. At least not now. If that means you don't want there to be an us at all, that's your decision."
"It's that simple to you?"
"You're in here," she said, opening the door. "And yes, it is. I love you. I've told you that. I want to be with you. That doesn't mean I'm ready to be your queen! If you can't understand that, then we shouldn't be together at all. You've always been so good at understanding me, Yero. I thought you'd understand this, too."
He took a deep breath as he put his things down. "I do, Fae. I just had hoped that we could talk about this."
"Not now. You've respected when I haven't been ready for something. Respect this, please?" She wrapped her arms around him and looked into his eyes. "I do love you. You know that, right?"
He nodded. "You had to know, though, that at some point this discussion would happen."
"I did. I do. But not now." She kissed him. "You're amazing, Fiyero. This is wonderful, it really is. Stop pushing it. I need time. That's why we're still pretending, isn't it? To give both of us time. I want out of being Eminent Thropp, too, and this gives me that. I'm just not ready to make the other part real right now."
"But you might be one day? It's not an absolute refusal?"
"I might be one day." She wasn't certain about that, but if it made him feel better, she'd try. There were moments when she could believe it, when she thought forever would be nice. But there were also moments when she wanted to run away from everything, not just him. How could she possibly make those two parts of her agree?
"I can live with that for now." He kissed her. "Should we be alone in here?"
"So long as the door is open, no impropriety is implied. We're fine." She saw the sadness in his eyes, the way they fell when he looked at her. So she told him something she'd been meaning to tell him. "I was thinking maybe I would like to stay with you for the summer. I can't promise anything after that, not right now, but it would be a nice start." It would help her sort things out, decide if long-term was even possible or if she wasn't cut out for this.
He brightened immediately and kissed her cheek. "Perfect. We'll finally get to really relax and spend time alone. Spring will definitely not be enough."
"I'm still sorry we couldn't have the winter."
"I'd rather have the summer."
"Of course you would, it's much longer." She laughed. "I don't know if this is going to work. They'll never let me out of it without punishing me."
"Maybe," he said suddenly, "I might have a thought."
"You have lots of thoughts, my love. Most of the time they're inappropriate."
"Oh, don't say that! You know my thoughts about you are perfectly… well… forget that. Sometimes they are…" He trailed off. "That's not the point."
"Then what is the point, my love?"
"Can you get Nessa here?"