I don't own glee or its characters!
Puck didn't know if he liked the girl that lived a few doors down, but everyday they got closer, the more he felt himself drifting there. He couldn't handle it, she was perfect. Loving, caring, badass, and vulnerable. She had pipes for days, and now that she was in eight grade, the twins were definitely coming out. He needed a way out. He was walking past a huge bulletin board where the clubs and sports news were posted when he saw it, a sign up sheet to be part of the McKinely Titan football team. He was now in high school, he needed his cool factor to raise, and he needed to rehabilitate his image. Hanging out with Mercedes made him soft, and he didn't like that. Now that they went to different schools, he figured now was the time to really separate himself. It was also a good way to get away from his mother. She's been yelling at him, telling him he was a failure and she wouldn't be surprised if he didn't graduate. His mother started drinking earlier this year, and it was really starting to take a toll on his self esteem, so this would be a perfect escape.
Mercedes called him a couple times the first few weeks they stopped hanging out, but he never answered. She would see him at church, and he'd rush in the other direction. He was mad at himself for being such a dick, but he was trying to become someone different. He was determined to lose the last of his baby fat, gain his bad reputation, and become popular. He didn't have room for anything that'll make him soft again. He eventually stopped going to church, and only went to her neighborhood to visit his grandma. He rarely hung out at Finn's anymore. He never looked at her house whenever he passed it. One time she was sitting in the back of her mother's truck talking to Tina when his mother drove him in. He felt her eyes on him, but he never looked, no matter how much he wanted to.
"Puckerman!" He heard her yell. It's been weeks since he'd last spoken to her, and honestly he a little was scared.
"Hey." He responded as he continued to Finn's house.
"Why are you avoiding me?" She asked. He finally looked at her. She slowed down in her growing, and he obviously didn't. He was now almost 5'9" and from the looks of things, she seemed like she was that same height of 5'3" from when she was in sixth grade.
"No." He answered and she stopped him.
"Yes." She sassed, putting a hand on her waist. "Are you kidding me Puck?" She yelled when he continued walking. He immediately stopped and turned around to address her.
"Why aren't you coming to church anymore? Or talking to me?" She breathed out.
"Look, Mercedes…" He didn't want to do this, but he had to. He had to let it all go, "Its great that you're concerned about whether or not I'm going to church, but I just haven't got the time!" He said, and she rolled her eyes.
"I'll give you an 'F' for the lame ass excuse." She said, and he wanted to smirk, but it really wasn't funny.
"I don't care! I have my own life." He said holding out his hands. She stopped short.
"What?"
"You heard. I don't care, and you should stop, too." He said.
"But you're my friend." She looked him in the eyes and he shook his head. "Are you implying that we aren't friends?" If she never knew what it felt like to be punched in the heart, she sure did now.
"Why would we?" Puck retorted. He just wanted it to be over. Her eyes welled up with tears that didn't fall, and she shook her head. He did, too, mainly against all their memories.
Sure, they had a very complicated friendship. Sometimes he'd give her the cold shoulder because of reasons he'd rather not address, while other times they would get along.
She never got this pattern, and she figured she didn't want to anymore. This was her way out, too. Because being friends with Noah Puckerman was like riding a roller coaster, and she hated roller coasters! She became annoyed with him a lot of the time, and he was a punk to everyone. That was not okay with her. Plus she found out that he made out with Brittany and Quinn in the same day during school. Who does that?
"You know what? Thank you for saying that, because for the first time since I met you, I feel free!" She yelled at him, and he stepped back a little at her tone. He didn't mean what he said to her, but she seemed to mean it now. Irrationally he became irritated that she didn't know what she meant to him, and that it wasn't hard to convince her he didn't want to be friends. He looked in her eyes and saw anger in place of her hurt. She was beyond pissed with him, and she didn't care if she showed it. He suppressed a sigh. There he went, burning the biggest bridge he had. And it was all because he was a coward. Never mind, though. The ropes were already cut. He knew he'd miss her, but he didn't deserve her anyway. And for the rest of the year, he remained steady with that attitude.
It was Mercedes' first day of high school. She and Tina walked arm in arm toward the main building. She had skinny jeans, and a thin long sleeve top that flowed with a cami top under since it was sheer. She had her favorite pair of chucks on, and her hair was relaxed. Her mother took her into a beauty shop to get it done as a gift. Mercedes missed her old, natural curls, but she still loved her straight hair. Tina wasn't looking so bad either, she had a charcoal gray skirt on that stopped at the knees, it was one of those stretchy feeling skirts, and a white top that made her tan skin pop. Her hair was wavy and pinned up on one side.
"Daaamn girls!" Artie said, rolling up to them once they entered the building. Mercedes turned to see one of her most truest friends come up to her. She ranted to him about her and Puck's confrontation, and well, it was safe to say Artie officially didn't like the kid. Tina and Mercedes both kissed him on a cheek.
"Oh! I'm supposed to meet Brittany!" Tina said suddenly, and Mercedes had a sour taste in her mouth at the name, something in her thought maybe it was because of a certain non-friend and all their make out sessions and hookups. "I'll see you guys later!" She rushed off.
"What did you do to your hair?" He asked her, and she ran her fingers through it suddenly feeling self concious.
"Is it bad?" She asked, she thought it looked good.
"No, its just different. Going to have to get used to this new 'Cedes." He said, "But may I just say, I love those jeans!" Mercedes waved side to side, showing off the jeans, "Your ass is looking heavenl-" She smacked his head and he whined in pain.
"Jeez woman!" He said rubbing his head.
"Don't say that!" She mocked. Still she cracked a smile because although silly, it was still good to hear. "I have to find my locker." She said suddenly.
"Need a lift?" Artie asked, motioning to his lap. He always offered her his chair, even if they're older, but she was getting heavier, and she didn't want to feel self-conscious.
"I don't think so." Mercedes finally answered, and he looked at her curiously, she loved being packed. He sensed something was wrong with his best friend.
"Why? Is it because of the compliment? Because I'm not taking it back." He stated matter-of-factly and Mercedes shook her head, laughing. "Well then why?" He looked genuinely confused.
"Artie, you're going to make me say it?" She whined, and he simply just put his hands in his lap, looking at her expectantly.
"I'm too heavy." She whispered as she leaned in.
"WHAT?!" He yelled, he never heard anything more stupid in his entire life. It was even stupider than Noah Puckerman. "Are you saying my guns of steel are too weak?" He asked, eyeing his biceps as he flexed them. He suddenly brought his eyebrows together in a frown of disbelief. He really didn't have any muscles there!
"Well, thats discouraging." He said to himself, "I've rolled myself around for years and I still don't have biceps?" Slowly his voice was raising, as well as Mercedes' eyebrow. That boy clearly didn't see how skinny he was. He needed a lot more than his own body weight to roll around if he wanted results. But that was the thing about Artie, why he would always be Mercedes' favorite. Though it would've been awkward to share that piece with anyone else, it wasn't with him. He saw things as they were, black and white, but he never let it get him down. He still had a suaveness to him, he was sweet, but still funny. A guy like Artie was hard to come by. They either wanted you, so they'd talk to you, or they didn't, so they wouldn't.
"Will you stop messing around?" She asked after a moment. "I need to find my locker... unless you want to be my locker for the day since it was your fault I didn't have enough time to find it." She suggested and he quickly rolled in her pursuit of her locker. She chuckled then caught up with him.
Something caught her eye a few lockers away from her own, and when she looked it was Puck. He was doing that thing where'd look at her and when they made eye contact, he'd look away and they wouldn't look back at each other. This time she did a double take at him. Artie caught her line of vision.
"What in the hell is that?" He asked her. "That looks damn ridiculous." Mercedes would've agreed, he looked so different.
He shaved his head, until he had a mohawk in the middle that was cut closely to his head. He looked buffer, too. All his baby fat was gone, he had a darker edge to his look, and she just couldn't look away. Apparently neither could he.
Mercedes looked so good, and it broke his heart that he just threw her on the side. He thought he'd get over it eventually, but a year later, he still wasn't. Sure it got easier to accept the bridge was burned, but whenever this girl was near he didn't know what it was, he just needed more. Like when Puck would call the JJ's outside to hang out, he'd say hello the the diva, but she'd just nod her acknowledgement. And even in those moments, when it was apparent she hated him, he still wanted more. Sure, they'd have small talk sometimes-Puck just couldn't stay away-but things were never like they were before.
He smirked at her and her lips became a straight line. For the first time in a year, he saw her walk up to him. Internally he flinched, the last time she walked up to him, he'd said somethings he regretted, but never apologized for. He swore when she did a double take at him, she was checking him out. He'd been working out in the school's gym, played football, he even did basketball last year, too. He was feeling more confident, and he was getting more girls than ever imaginable. He'd turn to be quite the ladies man, he gotten his badass reputation, and lost his fat, but looking at her now, all those things seemed small and inadequate.
"Puckerman!" She greeted. Not as friendly as before, but she did.
"Mercedes." He nodded once. "Welcome to high school." He said, chuckling. He instantly got nostalgia as he was the one to welcome her into Jr. High as well.
"What the hell did you do to your hair?" She cocked her head to the side in wonder, her tone was light and curious. She wasn't saying it maliciously, but in a reconciliation voice. But Puck didn't hear the tone, he wasn't paying attention, he did, however feel himself slump and felt his defense rising. Of course she wasn't checking him out! He was such an idiot. Why would she? He was a jerk.
"Its called a mohawk, but I guess its just too cool for you to know. Not everyone can be up to par." He retorted, and her eyebrows raised. He flinched a little, the eyebrow raise was never a good thing for the receiver.
"'Too cool'? Noah, you look like a fucking idiot. Who do you think you are? Chuck Liddell?" She said. "Do us all a favor and get rid of the squirrel on your head, its stinking up the place." She made a motion by her nose in a waft that only she could make look sassy and walked away. He enjoyed that ass as she walked away, but quickly caught himself. He wasn't allowed to do that. Well, he could, but he would never with Mercedes. Partly because she wasn't on the cool list, and the other part, is because she deserved more than that. Jerk as he was, he'll always know that.
Mercedes hated him. She couldn't believe he would actually call her out like that in front of everyone. A tiny part in her brain thought that maybe, just maybe things will get back to normal. She just got home and was changing out of her school clothes when her cell rang.
"Hey Tina!"
"Mercedes, everyone's playing volleyball. Wanna join?" She asked. It was normal that some of the random neighborhood kids would get together and play the sport in the middle of the road. Really all it was, was a circle while everyone hit the ball. Sounded lame, but she enjoyed it.
"I'm changing my clothes, meet you in 2." She said eagerly, hanging up the phone.
They were having a good time! Finn showed up, so everything became instantly funnier. Poor guy was so tall, and so clumsy he can't ever tell which way is up, hell just watching him, you didn't know which way is up. It was the JJ's, Mercedes, Tina, Mike Chang-who was spending sometime with Tina- and Finn. Mercedes was in the middle of showing her friend how he should hold his hands to hit the ball correctly when Puck came from behind Finn.
"Well isn't that cute? Mercedes showing Finn how its done." He mocked and she rolled her eyes, ignoring him. "Bet Finn's loving this." That caught Mercedes attention. She looked up at the taller teen who was currently blushing.
"Shut it, dude." Finn whispered harshly.
"What dude? You have a thing for my sister?" Jensen asked, the twins were currently walking up to him.
"Not cool man!" Jacob said, pulling Mercedes away. Finn stood there confused for a bit.
"Where you guys going?" He asked.
"Taking her far away from you." They both retorted.
"No. You guys aren't the boss of me." She said, yanking herself free. "I want to stay and finish playing, I don't care what Puck implied, I'm not leaving." She grabbed the volleyball from Tina and served it to Puck, which came out more like a spike.
"Hey!" He yelled. It actually hit him in the head. Mercedes and everyone else was busting a gut.
"Thats funny, huh?" He questioned, setting the ball for his own spike. It was intended for Mercedes, but he missed and everyone laughed harder. Despite how embarrassed he was, he couldn't help but laugh at himself. They were all friends after all. He looked at Mercedes, well, almost everybody were friends. Puck looked over at Finn and saw him looking at Mercedes like she was a revelation.
"Dude, you really like her?" Puck asked after everyone else left.
"No!" He said, and Puck gave him a bullshit look, "Okay, yeah maybe a little."
"Well, you can't date her. The JJ's will never let you, and if they did theres mama Jen, then papa Jones, and I don't think anyone wants to get through that." Finn shuddered. Yes, papa Jones was scary. He was 6'4", and just about the only person Finn had to look up to in the literal sense. He was a broad shouldered, national guard sargeant. Really respected, humble, but still scary as fuck.
"Judging on the look on your face, I think you understand the implication." Puck shrugged and headed to his grandmother's house with a smirk in place.
Mercedes couldn't wait till her freshman year was over. It really was a drag, and nothing too interesting ever happened. Plus she'd probably be respected more. That thought instantly took her back to the first time she ever spoke to Puck, and how he said her age made her uncool. She rolled her eyes at that. Puck drove her insane, but they still had that unspoken chemistry that made her hungry for more. She didn't know why, or how, but it was there, and it was always strong.
"Hey!" She turned around and saw that it was Finn.
"Hey Finn, whats up?" She asked, turning back to her locker to make sure she had her books for the weekend.
"I wanted to see if you needed help reaching anything in your locker, but it looks like you have everything covered." He replied lamely, shelving his hands in his pockets as she shut her locker door.
"Just because I'm short, doesn't mean I can't manage." She rolled her eyes at him fondly, and they made their way to the front of the school.
"I know, but I feel useful that way. So hey I was thinking if you wanted to hang out sometime?" He asked with his heart beating a million miles a minute.
"Of course, you're my friend!" She responded cheerfully.
"No, I mean like… more than friends." He said slowly. Mercedes made her mouth in an 'O' form. "Yeah, so what do you say?"
Mercedes didn't know what to say. They were friends, sure he had that cute look going on, and she was always sort of attracted to him but she didn't know if thats what she wanted. She didn't know if it was because it of a certain mohawked teen, she felt so lost. She wanted to go, she'd never been out with anyone before, she was literally torn.
"Maybe not…" He said, turning awkwardly, and Mercedes put out an arm to stop him.
"Yeah, I'd like that." She answered honestly… mostly.
"Really?!" She nodded, and he lifted her up. "This is going to be so fun!" He spun her around and she squealed.
Speaking of Puck, she could feel that chemistry boiling in her right now. She honestly never felt like that unless he was around.
"Whats with the big hug?" Puck came from behind. Finn had just put Mercedes down, and Puck put an arm around her shoulders. Puck was really growing, what was he, almost six feet now? He was almost as tall as Finn, and Finn was tall!
"Mercy and I are going out." Finn responded overzealously, and Mercedes couldn't help the chuckle that fell from her lips. She couldn't believe that Finn asked her out, and that he was really excited about it! She noticed Puck didn't say anything and when she looked over at him, she shrunk back a little from the tiny glare he was giving her.
"You asked her out." He said, eyes never leaving hers.
"Yes a-" Finn started.
"And you agreed." Again, another statement, and before she could say anything he asked "Why?"
"Hey dude, what's that supposed to mean?" Finn said, but Puck wasn't paying attention.
"Because he's sweet." Mercedes felt herself getting annoyed with that damn snob on his face, "And because I like him." Puck's mouth dropped in incredulity, while Finn's eyes widened in it. Whoops. She wanted to take it back, but she knew it would hurt Finn if she did. Plus she would've just made an ass of herself. Honestly though, what was it to him? She shrunk further away from Puck's arm and he removed it from her shoulders. She didn't understand why it was awkward, but she couldn't stand it. She decided to just leave.
"Call me, Finn." She glanced a little in Finn's direction then duck out of the conversation. She wanted to walk home alone, get her thoughts straight. She didn't know why she felt like she was disappointing Puck, and it was beyond her. With one last glance at a dumbfounded Puck, she started her journey home relieved they had football practice so she could walk alone. Her luck was short lived.
"Mercedes! Mercedes, wait." It was Puck and she picked up her pace.
"Really? You're going to run away from me?" She just kept speed walking as if he weren't talking to her. Finally, just as she made it down the stairs of the school's entrance, she felt someone grab her arm. She closed her eyes, shit her short legs, she should've just ran!
"You're going out with FINN HUDSON?"
"Yes, why is that such a hard concept for you to grasp?"
"Um, because he's an idiot." Mercedes fixed her focus on a tree and shook her head.
"Puck, I like him." She said and he rolled his head to the side, not believing it. She looked over at him and fought the urge to react to his sarcastic motion, but she failed at that. "Why don't you believe me?!" She was now frustrated.
"What makes you think I don't?" He challenged with a smug smirk that she would gladly slap off his face.
"Because of the way you're acting! Look, I don't care if you believe it or not, but I have to go home. I have a lot of chores to do, and they need to be done before my parents get home… so…" She pushed past him and kept walking. What was his problem? He made it crystal clear that they weren't even friends, so what the fuck? She really hated him sometimes.
"So, I know this is pretty common, but I figure bowling is easy, right?" Finn asked. They just arrived at the bowling alley and were walking to the front desk to pay for their shoes.
"Yeah, I love bowling." She agreed enthusiastically. She went bowling often, their family used to go all the time. In fact, her aunty's and grandparents back in Cleveland were bowling junkies, pros really. She, on the other hand... not so much. But she still enjoyed it.
"Cool." He replied with a half smile, excited himself.
They got their lane, and looked around. It was actually not as busy as Mercedes thought it would be, it was a Saturday night after all. Mercedes was punching in their names for the score board when Finn sat beside her with a purple daisy in his hand. She turned toward him and he held it out for her.
"It was pretty hard finding this, but did you know the florist have these? Who figured." He began and she smiled, "I know your favorite color is purple, and I heard from someone that you like daisies, so this is for you." Finn held out the flower and she tentatively took it, automatically bringing it to her nose.
"I love it!" She said genuinely, and even if it was cosmic bowling, and the lights were low, she could still see his blush. She lightly kissed him on the cheek. Mercedes wanted to put the flower in her ear, but the stem was too long, so she opted on putting it gently on the mini table.
"Ah! If it isn't the two love birds." Mercedes turned and saw it was Puck. With a huge roll of her eyes and head, she looked back at Finn who had a confused look on his face.
"Hi Puck, Quinn." He greeted and at the name of the blonde, she quickly turned around again.
"Hey guys." Quinn greeted. Mercedes looked at her second longer, 'eyeing' would be a better word before looking at Puck. She never really cared for the blonde girl, but as long as she was nice. Looking back at her she returned the greeting.
"Hey." She said looking from Quinn to Puck, who was proudly wearing a smug look on his face. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Well, we're about to bowl, obviously. You think you kids are the only ones that could have a fun night out?" Puck answered.
"Cool, so you two are on a date?" Finn asked, and Quinn smiled brightly.
"Yes." She answered.
"Awesome, we should double!" Finn suggested, and Mercedes could've screamed. Puck was right, he was an idiot.
"No, we won't want to interrupt." Quinn said, and Finn quickly shook his head.
"It doesn't make sense for us to take two lanes, when we could just bowl on one." Finn reasoned.
"Sure, bud. If its okay with Mercedes?" Puck smiled at her.
"No… why would it be a problem?" She asked sarcastically, by the time she was finished her sentence, the mohawked teen was already practically sitting on her and she pushed him as hard as she could onto his own seat.
"Great!" Puck said.
Other than the sometimes inappropriate comments to Finn about his clumsiness, and about Quinn 'looking hot while she was bowling' from Puck, Mercedes had a good time. Quinn was actually really good at bowling, better than Mercedes, so when Finn went up for his turn, Quinn went to show him some pointers, since he mainly only scored gutters.
"So he got you a flower." Puck said, taking the flower from the table and leaning back on one of the chairs.
"He sure did. We were on a date." She responded sarcastically. She was still looking at Finn so she wouldn't have to look at Puck.
"Hey, if you wanted us gone, you could've said so." Puck responded, moving closer to her.
"Maybe if you pretended like you didn't see us on our date like a normal person would've, you wouldn't even be here." She continued to watch Finn try to get the technique.
"Last I checked it was your boyfriend that suggested we stay."
"He's not my boyfriend."
"Do you want him to?"
"I'm not answering that."
"Why not?"
"Because according to you, we're not even friends." She said standing and heading to the snack bar. She didn't want to deal with any of his shit. But as always, he followed her.
"Why are you so sensitive?"
"Why are you such an ass?" Puck ignored that.
"We should leave them, they look like they're having fun." She looked back at the two, and they were laughing. Like a lot. She turned back around and headed to the counter without another word. He was trying to provoke something in her about them, but it wasn't working. Annoyance for him was all she had felt.
"Can I get fries?" She asked the worker.
"Oh c'mon. You can't say thats not bothering you." He motioned back to Quinn and Finn.
"Its not." She answered honestly, "But you are." She smirked sassily, and looked at him once. So did the worker who looked like she wanted to laugh.
"That'll be $3.50" Mercedes was in the middle of fishing out her cash when Puck gave the lady his money.
"Thanks… but you're paying for the wrong person." She said grabbing her fries and walking back to the floor. Puck ignored that, too.
"I forgot you don't eat ketchup with your fries." Puck didn't know why he was always spilling facts about her. It was so annoying, and it made him sound like a wuss. But he hung out with her a lot before, and he just loved messing with her. That is why he came here to begin with.
"There you are!" Finn said when they came back. "How much were the fries? I'll reimburse you. The lady should never pay." He said grabbing out his wallet.
"Its fine. Puck actually paid it for us because he said he was having such a fun time." She replied, popping a fry in her mouth.
"Oh, thanks man." He said grabbing one of his own.
"You guys don't want ketchup?" Quinn asked.
"What for?" They both said at once. Turns out Finn liked ketchup-less fries, too. Puck and his date rose their eyebrows, while Mercedes and her date smiled sweetly at each other.
Puck knew when he sat on her, he was just messing with her, but it still was treading thin water. She was so soft and perfect, and everything about her was good. He found out where they were going from Jensen, and convinced Jensen that he could spy on them, if he needed to. Granted, he would've came anyway, wether or not Jensen sent him. He's happy he came though, she looked so pretty with her soft curls and lip gloss that made her perfect lips welcoming.
He loved that they could tease each other and banter. He loved how easy it came. So, it was really just him that thought of it as a joke, he knew Mercedes was really getting annoyed, but he couldn't help it! It had been too long since he stayed away. A year and a half. Almost a year and a half later and he was still thinking about this girl. He was still dreaming about their nights in New York. Fuck she confused him. He never usually lost himself, but with her he did, and he needed those walls to be high. He also thought she wasn't interested. She never had time for his bullshit, and though sometimes they'd flirt, just like that the red light would come out.
But doing everything with her was fun. Even arguing was fun!
He was watching her like a sick puppy as she bowled, and he tried his hardest to look equally sexy while bowling. He even added that natural suaveness that Artie had in his motions so maybe Mercedes would swoon a bit. But after looking back at her, Puck never saw a slip up, or an attraction in her eyes, but he did see the challenge in them, but he did see the lust in Quinn's eyes.
Cedes was so different from when she was in intermediate. She wasn't as open anymore, and he knew had a hand in this new attitude.
It was better that way, he's protecting her from himself.
Because she's innocence. And he was nothing more than the demon that haunted her past.
Where she had the potential to find fulfillment, he was slowly starting to see he never could. Because she was the storm full, beautiful and complete, with her splashes of lightning and thunder shaking the whole earth, and he was drizzle. Empty, weak and inadequate, ugly and sad. While the storm never needed the drizzle, the drizzle would always need the storm.
A/N: Yes, so the last part I got from Looking for Alaska by John Green. I wanted you guys to see how Puck really feels about himself. I had to, to make this work better. Sorry if it was a bit whoa. But yeah!
Thanks for reading :) And thanks for all the feedback, guys!