"Bye, mom! I'll see you later!"

"Wait!" She calls after me, coming halfway down the stairs, "you're getting picked up?"

"Yeah, Kylie's here," I tell her, a little confused by the concerned look on her face. "Why, what's up?"

She shakes her head as she puts an earring through her ear hole and closes it. She takes the other one and does the same thing. "Nothing, I just thought you might carpool with Troy. I mean, you guys always did and he's back now, you both have cars. You shouldn't make Kylie pick you up. And you should probably be there with Troy on his first day back. He hasn't been to high school here."

Fuck. I tried to avoid this conversation with her.

But the truth is, I don't wanna carpool with Troy. I really, really don't.

I don't want to force this new friendship. If it happens, it happens. And I'm not going to ask him for rides to school and I don't really care to offer them.

The car ride to school is not long at all, but it's just something that doesn't really need to happen. Sure, it's the easiest way to start our friendship back up again, but I don't know. I don't wanna force it. If he asks me, sure, but I don't really think I'm going to go out of my way to ask him. And what sucks is my mom will definitely know something's up so it'll suck, but I think I can manage to get away with it somehow.

Maybe for today, anyway.

"I don't have gas in my car and I'm on Kylie's way. Her sister graduated so she didn't really want to go alone the first day. I'll meet up with him!"

"Okay," my mom bought it. Partially because it's true and because I think she's in a rush to get ready for work. "Well, if you guys make a habit of this, you and Kylie driving each other to school, you should at least offer Troy a ride or something."

Ugh. What's up with her and Troy? Yesterday when I was going to the mall with Morgan, she asked if I wanted to invite him as well.

Sure, she thinks we're still friends and everything, but it's weird.

Maybe she just wants to make him feel like he belongs again and that we're happy he's home or whatever.

I get it. But eh.

"Yeah, sure," I tell her with a smile.

And then I tell her bye, to have a good day at work, that I love her and she does the same. I walk out of my house to see Kylie in my driveway, halfway in waiting for me, texting away on her phone. I don't have gas, that part's true. But Kylie doesn't care about walking into school alone. And I don't even know why my mom bought it. I mean, she's known Kylie for years. She's the life of the party. She's not shy. She's outgoing, outspoken, and the friendliest girl to be around. Why would she care about walking into school without someone by her side?

Whatever. I push that out of my mind, that my mom maybe didn't buy it, and get inside her car.

"Ready for senior year?"

"Sure," I laugh, buckling up, "you?"

"I'm so excited," she sends the text she was writing and then plugs her phone into her charger, "we're seniors. So many fun things to do. Formal, prom, senior activities, ditch day. I mean, we're almost done with high school, Gabs. We're almost done with having to see people we don't really want to."

Again, I laugh. That's a good way to look at it. You're not going to be stuck in a class with people who annoy you.

Or people you've been going to school with for way too long.

"It'll be fun," I lean back and take a deep breath. Senior year. Finally. "I can't wait."

"And I'm so glad we have some classes together," she puts her car in reverse and looks over her shoulder to see if she's in the clear to pull out. Once she is, she slowly pulls out of my driveway. "Oh, we're all thinking about getting sushi after school. You down?"

"Well, you're my ride, so anywhere you go, I go."

Kylie laughs as she puts her car back in drive and drives down my street, "good. And oh, I just saw Troy. He was leaving for school, too."

Of course he was. And I bet he looked hot. "Oh, did you say hi?"

"Nah, but I saw him at the party the other night and we talked a bit," she says, turning right at the end of my block to get onto the major street, "I know there's probably weirdness between you guys so I don't know if, like, you don't really want me to talk to him or..."

"What? No. I don't care," I shake my head, "I mean, no, I can't tell you to not talk to him."

"I'd completely understand," she says, "but I'm just saying. You guys left things... not so good. So, I don't know. He's still the nice guy he always was."

He does seem that way, doesn't he? I want to say to her, but I don't.

Instead, I'm thinking about that night again.

But I quickly stop because I can't get emotional right now. Not before school. If Kylie wants to talk to him, she can. Heck, if she and her boyfriend want to hang out with him, she can. They were all friends. I remember in 8th grade, him, Kylie, this guy Leo and a couple of other people ditched school together and ate pizza and went swimming and spent the whole day together. I was invited, but I was too much of a do gooder and didn't want to get behind.

They were friends. And I'm not going to tell her not to be friends with him now that he's back in town.

"You can hang out with him all you want. If he has a girlfriend, if he gets a girlfriend, you and Cody can even double date."

"Gabs," she rolls her eyes, "come on, don't be so dramatic."

"I'm not. I'm just saying. I'm so over it. I'm over pining over him, feeling like he completely broke me apart. I'm over feelings things for him. I'm over hoping he would come back and things would be the same or he'd feel the same way. I have Cole now and I don't need the stress of him."

Kylie stayed quiet.

I don't think she expected it to go there.

But I was just having a moment. A moment of venting. And now I'm done. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she says, coming to a red light, "no. Him leaving and not saying a word was shitty, I get that. But maybe he just didn't know where to go from there and if it happened, you kissing him, on a random day and he wasn't leaving then maybe you guys could have settled it, talked about it. But he left and it was just this weird thing and he probably didn't know how to act. I'm not defending him, I'm just maybe trying to find a reason. It was shitty, though.

"It was. He shut me out completely. Even as a friend. He didn't want me. He doesn't want me and it's just so hard trying to move past it all."

"I know it is," she understands, I know she does, "you guys were the best of friends, but that's something that just doesn't go away."

No, it's not. I'll always care about him. Always.

But this time apart, it's real and it's our new reality and I just have to deal with it now that he's back.

It's so, so hard trying to be friends with him. It really and truly is.

Ugh.

Senior year was supposed to be the most fun time of my life.

When the bell rang on the last day of junior year, I thought about how next year would be better than this.

But I'm not sure about that anymore.

Troy Bolton is in two of my classes and I don't even know what to do about it. I sit next to him in one, but the desks are in rows and so he's not RIGHT next to me. He's a couple feet away by still. It's slightly awkward. He's here. He's back in my life. And we're going to school together again. It's weird.

And right now, I'm currently sitting in the quad waiting for my friends, looking like such a loner, and Troy is across from me talking to Samantha Reed.

Uggghhhhh.

First Jessica Stein, now Samantha Reed? What the fuck. Why is he talking to them?

I get Samantha, though. We all used to go to school together. Jessica was different because she didn't go to middle school with us. And I guess Samantha is better. I mean, she's just as pretty, but less skanky, so whatever. I don't even know why I'm thinking about all of this.

And then Cole comes up behind me to remind me that I have absolutely no room for jealously and I shouldn't be mad that Troy is talking to some girl.

I have a boyfriend. A freaking boyfriend!

"What are you doing?"

"Waiting for my friends," I tell him, barely making any eye contact.

"Come on, Gabs, you can't still be mad at me. I apologized! What more do you want from me?"

I want a boyfriend who's not such an ass who thinks about having more fun than being responsible. That's what I want. But I'm not going to start a fight at school. Nope. No one needs to know we're fighting. "Cole, I'm not talking to you about this here. It's fine..."

But he didn't drop it. "It's obviously not fine if you're barely looking at me or returning any of my texts. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Okay," is all I say before getting up.

"We're good?"

I'm not going to break up with him over this. But I just need some space. A day or so more. And then I'll be over it. Right now, I'm still a little mad. "Sure, but I don't wanna hang out with you right now and so, I'm going to walk away and maybe tomorrow I'll be completely okay with you."

Cole looked like he couldn't believe what was happening. But what does he expect?

As I turned around from talking to him, I saw Troy looking over at me. He quickly looked away and back to Samantha.

Fuck. I don't need him knowing we're still fighting.

I just don't want him standing there thinking that things are going downhill with my boyfriend the second he steps back into town. He'll probably think I'm still into him or whatever. Or he might think nothing at all. I have no idea. Maybe I'm being weird about the whole thing. But just in case he does think something about it, I turn around, and kiss Cole on the lips. He doesn't kiss back or anything because I'm already removing myself. I said nothing besides kiss him and then turned around, to Troy looking once again, and just smiled to myself. It's exactly what I wanted to happen and it happened.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing," I tell my friend Blair as soon as I reach her, "can we go now? I'm starving."

She fishes for her keys in her purse as we start walking towards the parking lot. "So, Kylie's not coming?"

I shake my head, "nah, only me, you, and Mads. She had to go pick up her brother and sister."

Blair didn't say much else. We just walked to her car where Madison was standing there, waiting for us, which annoyed me because I was waiting for her in the quad! Whatever. All I want right now is some food and to forget all about my boyfriend for the afternoon. I'm still mad at him.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing," I tell Madison as we get situated in our booth ten minutes later.

Blair and Madison, who are sitting across from me, give each other a look and then laugh. They know something's up. And Madison isn't going to take nothing for an answer. "Bad first day? You don't like your classes?"

That's not it. I love my classes. I really don't know why I'm in such a mood. "Cole's annoying and I'm really tired."

"What did he do?" Blair asked, grabbing her menu, "I just saw him after school. He was looking for you."

"He didn't do anything today. I'm still annoyed about Saturday. Why would he drink when he knows he has to drive himself home? I don't have time for people who are being stupid, you know?" I open my menu as well, "it's just annoying and I'll be over it, but for right now, I'm not."

They didn't say much else, but agreed. And then they both opened their menus.

Whatever. I'm over it.

Right now, I'm going to have lunch with my two best friends and we're not going to talk about how Cole is an asshole sometimes and all of that.

Instead, I wanna hear about their first day of school.

"So, do you guys like your classes?" I ask after I close my menu, deciding what I want to get.

"I love them," Blair closes her and pushes it off to the side. "Well, we have the same classes, different periods, but yeah, I like all the people. Wish you were in more than one class, but so far, so good. I know Chemistry's going to be hard, though, and I'm definitely not looking forward to that."

Madison laughs and chimes in. "Me neither. But other than that, I love my classes, too. Senior year is going to be so fun."

I hope it is! I anticipated it would be. But at that time, I didn't have a boyfriend and Troy wasn't back in town, making things awkward and uncomfortable.

"Do you guys have classes with Troy?"

"Well, apart from the one we all have together, I have him in two other."

"Yeah, I have him in the same two," Madison says after Blair, "you have him in one?"

I shake my head as I grab my cell phone because I got a text. "Nah, I have him in two. And I really don't know how I feel about it."

They didn't say anything until after I put my phone down.

But Blair started the conversation. "I get it. I get you guys spent three years without talking and it's the hardest thing that he's back here. But it doesn't seem like he came back and he's trying to be in that space with you and is crowding in on everything that's yours, you know? He's doing his own thing, and so, maybe being so annoyed with him or whatever you are isn't even worth it. You're just stressing yourself out."

"Maybe, yeah," Madison lightly agreed, "it was completely shitty what he did, but you're just going to have to make the best of it. Don't let him get to you."

"It's easier said than done."

"Probably, but it's for the best, Gabs."

They're right. I can't be dwelling on this. Life happens. Shit happens.

And I can't go the rest of my life, or the rest of my senior year, and think about this because it just gets me down. It gets me upset. And right now, I'm supposed to be having the time of my life. With my friends. With my boyfriend. With everyone in my grade. It's senior year, dammit.

So I make a vow to myself and to my friend that I will do absolutely everything to not let Troy being back bring me down.

It's not worth it.

He didn't want me then, he doesn't want me now.