I love Balboa Island.

The best part about living in Orange County is being able to go to Balboa Island, walk around with an ice cream, and hang out with friends.

In this case, we're celebrating one of my good friend's birthday.

Jacob Flores is someone I've known since the 6th grade. He was in a few of my classes and we became friends, but we really didn't become close until freshman year of high school when we sat next to each other in biology. And we just clicked. He helped me with my guy problems, I helped him with his girl problems and we've been, like, best friends ever since. If I ever want a guy's point of view on anything, I go to him.

It's nothing like how my friendship was with Troy. But it's still special and I love having him in my life. He's so great, he really is. And there's absolutely nothing going on. I know it's such a cliche to say that, but it's true. He's happily taken, just like me.

Well, he's more happy about it. His girlfriend is one of the best girls I know and they've been dating for six months and are the absolute cutest.

"You mad Cole isn't here?"

"It's not my dinner," I shrug, telling Jake, "I mean, he told you he was going to come, but if you don't care, neither should I."

"I don't really," he says with a laugh, "sorry."

He doesn't need to apologize at all. Cole and Jake are friends, but I know Jake better than a lot of people and I know that for some reason, Cole just bothers him, but he's never given me a reason and we don't really talk about it. "You don't need to say sorry, it's fine."

I know he feels a bit bad about it, though, because whenever I ask if he wants to go to dinner, the four of us, he most of the time says no.

He was pretty much just invited by default, I think, which is whatever.

"Are you happy?"

"What?" I'm a little thrown off by his question and I'm not really sure why. We're besties. Of course he has the right to ask me a question like that. I just didn't expect it to be at his birthday dinner in a room with 15 other people. "Yeah, I'm happy."

"Like, in your relationship. You guys were fighting at that party, and I feel like you've just been weird lately. Not really yourself."

Well, what does he actually expect?!

I feel like no one truly understands how stressful my life is right now.

Maybe I'm making it more stressful that it probably is. But when your best friend, someone you were inseparable from for 10 years, goes away and shits you out only to come back three years later, well, it's fucking stressful. And it's a mind fuck. It really, really is. I don't know how to act half the time, I don't know what to say to him, what to do. It's hard. It's so hard. And I really don't know how to explain it to people. I'm the only one who could possibly get it.

"I'm fine," I tell Jake, hoping this conversation dies down. It's his birthday. We don't need to talk about myself.

"If you say so," he shrugs it off.

Jacob didn't replace Troy. No way. It's different. It's such a different friendship, but I'm so glad I have him in my life and I'm excited to be here celebrating his birthday. He's 18! The first of all our friends and it's an exciting time. He's an official adult.

So, we both stop talking about myself and we enjoy the rest of our dinner with our closest friends... like we should have been doing.

After we finished dinner, we all decided to get frozen bananas, that are SO freaking good, and then head back to Jacob's house where he'll start a fire in his backyard and we'll just hang out, having a little bonfire.

While we were waiting in line, we bumped into some of our friends.

Which included Troy.

Troy, Marc, Michael, and Dylan.

These were some of his best friends before he left to Seattle and they're still his friends. Which is nice. It's nice he kept in contact with them.

NOT. I'm being sarcastic. Why did they get constant contact and not me when I was in his life way longer than them? When I had a stronger bond? Yeah, right, I know the answer, but I just wish it weren't the case. I think I'm a little bitter. But whatever. I don't even care anymore. My life's great. It'll continue to be great. And I have some really great friends that I love more than anything. It's his loss... right?

"Hey!" Josh greeted them, bro hugging them.

They all said hi to each other, hi to me, hi to the other girls here and the guys.

And before I knew it, Josh was inviting all of them over to his house, which kind of annoyed me. I mean, he knows what's going on, why would he?! Actually, I told him the other day I was fine, that Troy and I were fine, and everything was fine. So whatever, my fault... again.

They were all in. They said that sounded fun, and that they will see us in a little while, blah, blah.

"Why'd you invite them!?" My other best friend Blair exclaimed once they were out of sight, "you know I hooked up with Dylan. It's awkward, Josh!"

"Shit. I didn't even think about it. I'm sorry. But they're my friends, too. So why not?"

"Whatever," Blair rolled her eyes.

I kinda wanted to complain too, but it's his birthday and I'm not going to do that especially since I should probably be over it by now. I should be over the awkwardness. I should be over the hurt that Troy has brought me. I mean, Dylan and Blair hooked up LAST weekend. I totally get her frustration.

But, I shouldn't be frustrated or annoyed. I should be over it. So, that's what I'm going to try to do.

It's easier said than done, probably, but we'll see.

"We can go in a little bit if you want," Madison offers, handing me a blanket as I'm sitting on a chair in front of the fire.

"It's fine," I shrug, "thanks."

Madison sits next to me, throwing the blanket she brought for herself over her.

And then the rest of our friends pile around the fire pit, getting their seats situated. Joshua has a beautiful home in Ladera Ranch with the most beautiful backyard. A huge swimming pool, yet so much grass. And a huge patio with a bar and a fire pit. It's the best place to have a get together like this.

A few minutes later, the guys started piling in.

Blair looked uncomfortable and I felt bad for her so I immediately got up and pulled her away for a minute.

"What's up?"

"Nothing really," I shrug as I close the door before turning around to face her, "I kind of just wanted to get you out of there for a minute."

"Ugh, thank you," she sighs, immediately sitting down on one of the stools in the kitchen around the island, "I thought tonight was going to be good and now it's just... weird. He's here, I'm here, he hasn't called me or talked to me all week and I don't really understand why. I thought we had a good time. I thought he was into me or something, but I guess that's not the case. It was just a hook up for him. And I get it, I get that's what happens in high school. I totally hooked up with a couple guys this summer, no big deal, but it was just different with him. We... talked about things, you know?"

I know. She's my best friend. I know everything about her life.

So, I totally get it. And I feel for her. In fact, I'm mad for her. I'm mad at Dylan and his immature, high school boy ways. The least he could do is tell her he's not interested instead of just ignoring her at school. It's totally fucked up and mean.

"If he made you feel like he was interested in you as more than a hook up, you have every right to tell him that..."

"That's the thing, too! I don't know if I'm imagining it. I don't know if things like that happen. I've never had a boyfriend or anything like that, really..."

"Look, hook ups happen. Those other two guys you hooked up with, you were drunk. Dylan, not so much, so who knows if you talked to them like you talked to Dylan and you just don't remember it, ya know?"

Blair nodded, "yeah, you're right. I don't know. I'm just over thinking it. I wasn't drunk with Dylan. And so, I just remember how everything felt."

She likes him. I know she does. "B, if you like him, you should talk to him."

"No way," she shakes her head, jumping off the stool, "no, I'm not going to chase a guy."

"But..."

I didn't even finish my sentence because the glass french doors opened and in walked Troy, stopping as soon as he saw us. "Oh, I'm sorry..."

Blair looked over at me and gave me a small smile and then over at him, "nah, I was just walking out."

And then she did. Leaving me right there with him. And later on, I'm going to yell at her for it. It's still awkward just the two of us. It shouldn't be since we agreed to try to be friends. But it is. And I honestly have no idea what to even say to him, how to start a conversation.

Thank God he did. "Was I interrupting something?"

"No," I shake my head, grabbing my phone from the counter and made up a complete lie, "no, we were just facetiming a friend."

"Oh, okay," he says taking a step forward, "I just came in to get a water."

As he walked around me to the kitchen and opened the fridge to get himself a water, something inside me just went off. Here is Troy, Dylan's best friend, one of them anyway. They've known each other since the 4th grade and became really, really close in middle school and I think ever since he's been back, they've hung out all the time. He has to know what's going on. He has to know if Dylan has said anything about Blair.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he looks a bit worried as he closes the fridge, "what's up?"

"Can this stay between us, though?" I have to tell him this. I don't want Blair to know I'm meddling, but I just want my best friend happy.

Again, he looked a bit worried. Before saying anything, he uncapped his water, took a big gulp of it, put the lid back on and set it down on the counter. And then he looked up at me and that worried look on his face turned into a small smile and a chuckle. "Yeah, sure, what's up?"

How do I say this? Do I just come out and ask? Yeah, I think I will. Ha. "Does Dylan like Blair or what?"

"Does Dylan like Blair?" He repeated my question.

"Yeah..."

"Wait, you wanna know if Dylan likes Blair?" He words it differently.

Oh my gosh. Yes! FREAKING YES. "Yes, Troy, I do! Because your best friend and my best friend hooked up last weekend and I don't know what he told her, what he didn't, how he went about it... the point is, he's ignoring her, I've seen him avoid eye contact and I just wanna know if Blair shouldn't hold her breath for him. You know, if she was interested or whatever. This is strictly me just wondering."

For a moment, he just looks at me. And then he lets out a small laugh. "Right, this is you just wanting to know..."

"Come on," I tell him, "I'm not betraying her trust or anything. I just know that if he was interested, she wouldn't be opposed to that."

"So you're saying she's interested?"

"Maybe," is all I say, but I know I'm giving it away. The thing is, I still trust Troy. I know me having this conversation with him doesn't mean he'll turn around and tell Dylan everything. I know he won't. And I don't think I'm betraying Blair's trust at all. "Is he? Or is he not? I know he's not shy. So the fact that he hasn't tried talking to her, yeah, maybe he's not interested..."

Troy laughs, shaking his head. "One would think, but you'll be happy to know it's quite the opposite. He doesn't think she's interested in him because after they hooked up, she kind of froze and left the party. I think he doesn't really know how to react to that."

She totally did. Blair froze up because it wasn't just a hook up to her. And she had absolutely no idea how to react to it. So, that's her bad, really.

"She was nervous, I think. Her first hook up that actually meant something to her."

"Well, it meant something to him, too."

"What are we going to do about it then?" I ask him.

Blair Townsend is my best friend. She's the first person to come over to my house with a tub of ice cream if I'm sad or she's the first person to go on an adventure with me. I want her happy. And I honestly think Dylan could make her happy. I know Dylan. He's great. He really, really is. And so cute. I know they have things in common, I know they're both cool and genuine people and I know that hook up meant something to them.

So, here I am, trying to make it happen for it. If all is takes is a little communication, I'm going to make it happen.

"What do you wanna do about it?" Troy asks me, taking another chug of his water, "I'm all for helping them get together. I think they'll be great."

"Me too," I look outside and see them on opposite ends of each other.

And then Troy comes up with an idea. "We just need to get them together. They haven't been alone together since that night and I think it's just the push he needs. So, maybe he can give you guys a ride home. Did you drive here tonight? Or come together?"

Perfect! "Madison brought us. But I can clue her in. And I'll say you're taking us home and then play dumb when I realize it's actually Dylan."

"Good luck with that," he laughs, "but okay. Sounds good."

"Hey, I'll pull it off. And they live closer to each other than we do to him so it's perfect."

Troy nods, looking happy with his idea.

And I'm happy with it, too. For the first time in a long time, we were in agreement with each other on something and it felt nice. It feels nice being able to talk and laugh. This is what it used to be like when we were friends. Coming up with plans, ideas, etc. and being able to just be at complete ease with each other. I'm not saying I am right now, but for a second, it felt that way. It felt that way when I asked if this could stay between us.

For the rest of the night, we actually sat next to each other outside and laughed along with everyone else and to each other, which felt really nice.

Really nice, actually.

"Bye!"

Troy and I waved to Blair and Dylan as they dropped us off and drove away.

Mission complete. They were now alone together.

I couldn't help, but laugh as soon as the car was out of sight. I can't believe we pulled it off. Well, we don't know if it's going to go the way we want it to, but at least we're giving them the opportunity. We definitely broke the ice between them, having a conversation all four of us when we first got into the car.

"Do you think he had any idea what you were doing?" I ask Troy as we turn around and walk up my driveway.

"Maybe, but I don't really care," he shrugs it off with a laugh, "he needed a push in the right direction. I don't know why he was so shy with her."

"Probably because he likes her."

Troy nodded, "yeah, well, I hope things work out for them."

Me too. Blair's the best. She's beautiful, she's funny and smart and has so much going for her. Only a real idiot wouldn't realize that. And I really don't think Dylan Kerner is an idiot so hopefully this push we gave them is exactly what they needed.

It's only 11. People were still hanging out at Jake's, but Dylan had an early morning so he had to get home and since he was our ride, we left, obviously.

"Do you wanna come in?" I end up telling Troy, I have absolutely no idea why.

No, I do know why. It's been a good night for us.

I thought it was going to be awkward and uncomfortable but after our little plotting and scheming, things were fine. We were talking like normal at Jake's house, laughing together even, and things just felt good. It felt like we were friends. Not like we used to be, but friends. And it's a step in the right direction.

He was a little taken aback by my question, I know he was, but I also have another for asking him.

"My parents are at some work party and my sister is spending the night at her friends house, so you know, it's kind of scary..."

"Sure," he laughed, not even caring that I was sort of using him.

But I do want to keep hanging out with him right now so it's not completely using him.

Once we were inside my house, I took off my shoes and my jacket and immediately went upstairs to get comfortable. Troy stayed downstairs in the living room, turning the TV on for us while I quickly changed into some pajama bottoms and a comfy sweatshirt. I took the rings on my fingers off, I took the necklace I was wearing off as well and put them away in my jewelry box. After all that, I slipped on some slippers and made my way downstairs.

Before I even got to the living room, I stopped for a minute and kind of just took in what was happening right now.

Troy was currently on my couch, surfing the channels.

And I was standing behind him, just thinking about everything right now.

This was a sight that would happen often when we were friends. He'd be on my couch watching TV, I'd be doing things around the house and I'd eventually join in and we'll watch our favorite show together. Or a movie. Or whatever was on TV at the time.

He would sit on my couch, doing his homework while I was laid out on the floor doing mine all through middle school. That's what we did.

And it's major dejavu right now. It's all different, though, right now. It's not like it used to be.

But I think I have hope.