A/N: Hey! Yes, I take requests. Enjoy and keep the reviews coming! (A follow or a favourite wouldn't hurt either, you know.)
"Creepy". Continuation of the "Magic" story,in which Barricade is almost traumatised.
"Prowl," Barricade said, dragging Prowl by the arm into Red Alert's clinic, "if I didn't know better I'd say you were gettin' damaged on purpose just so's you get carted off into Red's loving embrace."
"Then it is good that you know better, Barricade." Prowl replied, leaking Energon all over the ground in a steady stream.
"No, seriously; it's really creepy, your obsession with this femme." Barricade grunted.
"We cannot arrest anyone for being creepy, Barricade, so I shall count myself lucky in that respect." Prowl replied.
"Wait, what?" Barricade asked. He switched on his comlink. "Hey, Streetwise? We still got that guy in the clink?"
"You mean the creepy one?"
"Yah. You gotta let him go. Turns out we're not allowed to do that."
"Shame."
"I know, right?"
Barricade's momentary business concluded, he returned to dragging Prowl. "But seriously, every time we're in Kalis, ya get shot or stabbed in circumstances which you avoid literally everywhere else. It's way too much of a coincidence that you also insist on being taken here." he pointed out.
"Not really. Red Alert is the best medic in Kalis."
"You've literally never been to any other medic in Kalis in your life."
"I am told the others are inferior."
"No-one tells you anything! I am literally the only sentient being who even talks to you!"
"Ah."
Barricade dragged Prowl all the way into Red Alert's waiting room, threw him into the designated Energon-soaked "Prowl's Med Berth", and collapsed into his own chair beside it. "I am way too nice to you, Prowl."
"And I am thankful for it all the time, Barricade." Prowl replied serenely.
Red Alert floated into the room. "Oh, hello Prowl. Barricade."
"Hello, Red Alert." Prowl said, his optics lighting up as his door-wings flicked up in the traditional Praxian (as Barricade called it) "you-me-med-berth-three-clicks" way.
An easy smile came to Red Alert's faceplates. "Oh dear. Damaged again? How badly, Prowlie?
"I do wish you wouldn't call me that, Red Alert." Prowl said, but his three-quarters-smile told otherwise.
"No you don't, Prowlie." Red Alert replied primly. "Now, let's get that armour off, and have a look at the damage."
Barricade subconsciously checked the distance to the door, and whether he could make it before things got far too heated for his liking.
"So can we speed this up a bit?" he asked. "Because I've got a warm Energon with my name on it back at the precinct. And I've gotta go and fill out Prowl's damage report. Because I'm such a good friend."
"Indeed you are, Barricade." Prowl told him from where Red Alert was doing something to his upper body on the medberth. "Indeed you are."
Red Alert clicked her tongue. "There's a lot of shrapnel in your shoulder, Prowl. It looks quite painful."
"Yes, there are some shards in my door-wing sensors as well. They are more sensitive, so there is more pain there especially. If you could start there...?" Prowl explained faintly.
Barricade was proficient enough in ''Prowl speak'' to understand that that was be Prowl ''getting his flirt on.''
"Well, I'll disable the pain receptors in your door-wings, but I'll need to get the shrapnel out of your shoulder first." Red Alert told Prowl. She tapped him on the helm like a disobedient sparkling. "If you can be patient, that is."
Prowl levelled his trademark raised optic ridge at her. "I can be patient."
Barricade did not want to know what was coming next. He really didn't. Thankfully, nothing came next, and Red Alert sort-of playfully (if that was even possible, which Barricade highly doubted) cleaned out the shrapnel (which she didn't mention was from Prowl's own thermobaric missiles – yes, he was that desperate, Barricade concluded) from Prowl's shoulder.
When Red Alert started kissing the small nicks in Prowl's door-wings (causing him to involuntarily spasm) Barricade transformed and got the Pit out of there, and waited by the door because he didn't want to see his partner doing anything like that ever.
Prowl eventually emerged from the clinic, accompanied by Red Alert.
"You know, Prowl," Red Alert said, her servos clasped in front of her and a nervous stabiliser tracing shapes on the ground, "you don't have to keep getting shot just to come and see me."
"Would you be insulted if I told you I rather liked you looking after me?" Prowl queried.
Red Alert giggled quietly. "No. But I worry about you."
"You don't have to. Barricade is always skulking somewhere to pull me out of anything I get myself into."
"I might not have to worry, but I'm going to anyway." Red Alert sighed. "Just be safe, okay?"
She stood up on the tips of her stabilisers and placed a quick kiss on Prowl's lips.
Prowl's lips cracked into a rare full-smiled. "Okay."
Red Alert turned and walked back into her clinic, Prowl staring after her.
Barricade sidled up behind him. "Ugh. I think I was going to purge my tanks if that kept up. You charmer, you."
"Be quiet." Prowl said, but he was still smiling into the door of Red Alert's clinic.
I do like Barricade. He's rather epic.