"What's up? You've been quiet all night."

"I'm fine," I assure Madison as I take a sip of my drink, I'm "just tired."

She doesn't buy it, of course. She's my best friend. Of course she's not going to let it go or think I'm actually telling the truth. "Are you still mad at Cole for basically demanding that you go to the concert and to ditch us? It's totally fine if you are. But you're at a party. Pretend like you're not for the night."

I was mad, but I'm over it. It's been days. I'm okay with him. I mean, we came together tonight.

I'm just in a weird mood.

And I fucking hate to say it's all because of Troy.

"Nah, I'm just tired, I've had a long day," I think she'll let it go because I have had a long day, "but I love Molly, so..."

"Well, then stop looking so down and enjoy her birthday party," she advises me, "two people have asked me what's wrong with you and so, if you don't want someone to ask you directly then put a smile on your face, go stand next to your boyfriend and try to have fun."

She's right. I would hate it if people came up to me and asked what's wrong. It's not like I'll actually tell them the truth. Definitely not.

Oh, don't mind me I'm just sitting here feeling irrationally upset that Troy is talking and hanging out and laughing with Samantha Reed, looking like they're having the best time. Oh that's right, I have a boyfriend, I shouldn't be feeling this way.

But I fucking am.

And I hate every ounce of it. Ugh.

"You're right," I tell Madison, getting up, "I'll look like I'm having fun."

I leave her standing there and go over to Cole who's standing by one of the beer pong tables, chatting up with some friends.

He's not drinking tonight and actually keeping his promise tonight. It's not hard since he has an early morning and so really, it benefits him more than me, but we came together, so obviously, we're going to leave together. And I'd like it if he was sober... obviously. I'm drinking a little bit, but not too much.

"Hey, baby."

"Hi," I give him a smile as I link our arms, "what's up?"

"Nothing," he shrugs, keeping his hands in his pockets making it a bit awkward to be linking arms, "you okay?"

I know I'm acting a bit weird. I've never really been all lovey dovey with him at parties. When we're out to dinner, hanging out in town or whatever, sure, we're somewhat lovey dovey. But not too much. It's never really been that way.

So, I'm sure he thinks something is up. Or he probably thinks I'm drunk. I haven't really been with him the past hour or so. I could've gotten drunk.

"I'm fine," I tell him, "are you okay?"

"Yeah," he laughs, looking at his friends and then over at me. "Come with me for a minute."

He takes his hands out of his pockets, links one hand with mine and pulls me away from everyone. Ugh. I don't wanna talk off to the side and make it look like we're fighting or something. We're not. We're good today. And I want to keep it this way for as long as we possibly can.

So, I stop him before he can say anything. "Cole, I'm fine."

"You sure? You were acting a little weird back there," he laughs, grabbing my drink for a moment and looking inside of it, "are you just drunk?"

"No," I take it back, "I'm fine."

"Okay, okay, if you say so," he puts his hands up in defense, "just checking."

Which is totally fine, I guess. If I were him, I'd probably ask what the deal was, too. So whatever, I'm not mad. "I'm just trying to have fun. I've had a long day so hanging out with you, letting loose a bit, it's exactly what I need right now. Is that okay?"

Cole nodded with a smile, "that's completely okay."

"Okay," I smile as I wrap my arms around his neck and tiptoe up a bit to give him a kiss, "let's head back then."

He wrapped his arms around me for a moment, though, pulled me in and gave me another kiss. We were having a moment and I was okay with it.

Cole is my boyfriend.

I like him. I have a good time with him. And I shouldn't throw in the towel over a couple mishaps, right? I mean, if I did that with every relationship, I'd probably be single forever. It's not like he screams at me constantly or hits me or anything like that. It's just stupid teenager guy things that I should be able to get over. And I want to do a better job at not getting mad at him. Sometimes I can't help it, but sometimes I do help it.

Out of the corner of my eye, though, I see Troy and Samantha.

She's laughing, throwing her head back, trying to be all cute as she put a hand on his shoulder and continued laughing. Like, I know Troy is funny, but what could he possibly have said to earn such a dramatic laugh from her? Ugh. Whatever.

I focused my attention back at Cole, who was staring into my eyes. I was staring into his and we were having a moment. A moment we needed.

"I'm gonna go play a game of beer pong," he tells me, releasing his arms from around me, "Trey's drinking it."

"Okay," I smile at him, "go ahead."

He gives me one last kiss and then heads back to the beer pong table.

And I just stand here for a moment and take a deep breath. I'm being silly. I shouldn't care what Troy's doing, who he's talking to, flirting with, any of that.

But the truth of the matter is, I do. Because for the longest time, I was his friend. I was the one who he talked to the most in life. And so when those feelings weren't reciprocated, not only was it embarrassing, but it hurt. Why was I not good enough for him? Was I not pretty enough? Funny enough? I was only enough to be his friend? I didn't understand. If he liked me so much as a person, as a friend, why couldn't it have been more?

So, seeing him with Samantha, it just hurts .

It's bringing back memories of liking him and it was just a bad time in my life. The worst, actually.

I need to stop thinking about it, let it go and just have fun. And that's what I do by joining the party and heading straight inside to get myself another drunk.I'm not drunk, I'm not close to being drunk, so another drunk will be just fine.

"Hey."

I turn around and see Troy standing there, a smile on his face. Ugh. I was JUST staring at him and Samantha. What is he doing here?

Nonetheless, I give him a smile as well and turn to face him. "Hi."

"Haven't talked to you all night."

"Oh, yeah," I'm surprised he's mentioning this. Well, maybe not too surprised. Things are good between us. In class, we talk. After class, we walk and talk sometimes. When we're at home and we see each other outside, we'll say hi and mention something. It's been like this for the past week and it's nice. It's heading in the right direction. Somewhere we so desperately need to get to since our families are still really good friends. It can't be awkward between us. It's exhausting. So, it's much easier if we're friends and we're getting along. "Well, you've been making the rounds."

Shit. Fuck. Gabriella. Why did you even say that?! It makes it look like you've been watching him.

Troy chuckled a bit and scratched the back of his neck. Yeah, I guess so. But I was wondering if you could do me a favor tomorrow."

"Sure," I say, without knowing what it is.

"My family and I have my cousin's sweet sixteen to go to so do you think you can watch Sasha? If you can't, that's totally cool. I think she's okay by herself, but we'd just feel more comfortable if someone was there with her. Do you have plans?"

"I don't," I shake my head, exciting about the chance to spend some time with Sasha, "Blair was probably just gonna come over, but it'll be fine."

"Well, she can come over, too, and hang out with you and Sash."

Okay, I'm in. I love Sasha. And I haven't seen her since Wednesday so I'm due for some time with her. And this is a step forward in our friendship- doing things for one another, favors. We always used to do things for each other and it'll be nice to have that again. To know I can rely on him for whatever.

So, I give him a smile, take a sip of the drink I made and nod my head, "I can watch Sasha, no problem."

"Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. What time should I be over?"

"Probably around 5:30. The party starts at 6. It's not much, it's just opening the for for her when you think she has to go to the restroom and just making sure she's not getting into anything, although she's been pretty good about that."

Yeah, she's a really chill puppy that I don't think it's going to be anything stressful. She's basically potty trained and she doesn't chew anything.

I nod, being perfectly okay with coming over at 5:30. "Sounds good."

"Thanks," he says, reaching over me and grabbing the bottle of tequila that's sitting on the counter, "I'll see you around."

Before I even had a chance to say anything else, he was turned around and walking out the door. I watched as he made his way past people and went back to sitting with Samantha and a couple of his friends who took the bottle of tequila from him and started pouring it in their glasses.

He wasn't drinking, but the rest of them were doing shots and they seemed to all be having a good time.

Especially Samantha and Troy.

Whatever. I'm over it. I need to let it go.

So, for the rest of the night, I don't even look in their direction.

"Is it weird seeing pictures of you in this house?" Blair asks me, picking up a picture frame, "I mean, this is an old picture."

"What?" I walk into the living room with Sasha in my hands, "let me see."

She comes over to me, sits on the couch just as I do and hands it over to me. It is an old picture. And I had no idea it was displayed here in the living room. Troy and I, and our siblings, went to Sea World when we were about ten and we had the best time. And that's what this picture is. Us at Sea World.

I knew she had it displayed when they lived here, but I didn't think she put it back. I mean, the rest of the house isn't really the same as it used to be.

"I didn't know she put it back on there."

"Is it weird to you?" Blair gets up and puts it back where she found it, "I'd feel weird."

"It's whatever," I shrug, leaning back and putting Sasha on my chest where she started sniffing my face, "it's not that bad of a situation."

Blair nodded as she turned around and joined me on the couch again, "true. It's not like you guys dated, had the worst breakup ever, and his mom is still displaying pictures of you guys. It was just a falling out."

Right. Don't remind me. Obviously, I still think about it. But like I said, we're getting to a good place and I wanna stay there.

"Let's order a pizza."

"Please," Blair grabs her phone, "where do you want it from?"

"Where do you think?" I laugh, kissing Sasha on the top of her soft little head, "I want sausage and pepperoni."

She didn't say anything else, except get on the phone and order our most favorite pizza. With a side of bread sticks and marinara sauce, of course. And I sat here and snuggled with little Sasha, who I love so much, it's insane. I never want to fight with Troy because I don't want to not see her, you know? It would break my little heart. I'm in too deep with this love affair I have going on with her.

Blair threw her phone to the side, laid back and kicked her feet up on the coffee table, "am I allowed to put my feet up here? You won't tell, right?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "No, because I want to, too."

"Good. They said about 20-25 minutes."

"Gah, I'm starving," I lay back, putting Sasha between us on the couch. "So, what's up with Dylan?"

There was an instant smile on her face so I know it's good. I know they've been talking, but she's kept it to herself and I'm at the point where I wanna know what's going on with my best friend and the guy she likes. I've given her her space and now I wanna know every single detail.

Well, whatever she wants to tell me, of course.

"Fine," she says, giving in, "things are... good. We've been hanging out a lot. After school, he'll come over, we'll do homework, watch TV."

"So, it can be something?"

"I think, so yeah," the smile never leaves her face, "it could all be his angle, it could all just be temporary, I don't know, but I've never had a guy treat me so well, make me feel like I'm this great thing, you know? The fact that he was so shy at the beginning makes everything that much better. It's so endearing. And on top of all of that, he's so good looking. So, yeah, things are good."

I was so happy for her. She deserves to be happy. And to have a guy treat her right because she's one of the best people I know. "I'm happy for you."

She's still smiling, but she turns slightly to face me, "what about you? Things are good with Cole?"

"Things are good," I shrug, stroking Sasha's back, "I'm trying my hardest to not get mad at him for the stupidest things. Things that aren't worth breaking up over because what good does it do being mad at him?"

"You have a right to feel upset, though, if you want to," she tells me, "you can't hide your emotions because you think you should."

"It's not that, it's just... things are fine. They are. I like him. It's just not how it was in the summer and that's fine, I guess. That's what happens when you're getting to know each other. You're infatuated and everything's a bit unrealistic. But then you're a couple and I guess it happens to everyone."

I know she didn't agree by the pause of silence. But I wanted her honest opinion.

It's what friends do.

"Do you want me to be mad at him?"

"No, Gabs," she says, "you know I like Cole. I do, on a personal level. I just think you're settling. I think you're trying to drag this relationship out because you think a month is too short, two months, whatever, and you think that's giving up. But if you're not happy, you're not happy. You shouldn't have to put time on it. I know he's nice, I know he's funny and outgoing and cute, but some people just don't mesh together. And maybe you thought you did, maybe he changed, maybe you changed, maybe it all changed. But I just don't really see it being this great thing and that's my honest opinion."

I get what she's saying because often times, I find myself doing that. Telling myself that we haven't been together too long so to stick it out...

It's not an easy thing when you do like someone, but often times, you find yourself second guessing everything that comes along with it. Are we really that compatible? Do we really like many of the same things?

We hung out for a while this summer so I don't think we rushed into things, but maybe things just changed.

"I appreciate it, B," I give her a smile, "I do. And I get what you're saying."

"Do what make you happy, though, for real. If this moment, he makes you happy, then by all means, stick with it. He's not a bad guy."

No. He's not.

Maybe he's just not the guy for me.

"Oh hey," I tell Troy a couple hours later as he comes strolling into the living room, "you're home early."

"Yeah," he chuckles, taking off his jacket and throwing it on the other couch, "it's going on til midnight, probably, but didn't want you staying all night..."

I honestly don't even mind.

Blair left around 8:30 because her and Dylan were gonna go watch a movie and so I've literally just been sitting here with Sasha in my lap sleeping while watching TV. I'm on my seventh episode of Desperate Housewives that I started re watching a couple weeks ago.

He could have stayed out way later. "Oh, I'm chilling. Having the best time honestly."

"Yeah?" He laughs a bit, looking over at the TV, "what're you watching?"

"Desperate housewives," I tell him, sitting up a bit, handing Sasha to him so he could say hello, "I'm on my seventh episode and you just interrupted."

"Oh, do you want me to go back?"

I laughed, bringing my feet up on the couch and turning towards him a bit as he sat down and placed Sasha in his lap. "Kind of, yeah. Just kidding. But, um, Sasha was a breeze. She peed outside, she pooped and then pretty much just chilled and slept the rest of the time. She's a dream pup."

Troy sat down next to me and immediately let Sasha do her thing- which is sniff his face off. It's the cutest thing she does.

"Thank you so much," he tells me, "we just felt better if someone was here watching her."

"Oh yeah, of course. Anytime... and I mean it."

"I know," he laughs, setting her down on his lap, where she immediately got comfortable and closed her eyes, "what time did Blair end up leaving?"

What time is it right now? 10? "She left about an hour and a half ago. Her and Dylan were gonna go watch a movie."

Troy kicked his feet up and brought a pillow to the side of him so he could rest his arm on it while he rested his other one of the arm of the couch, "how's that going for them? Dylan knew exactly what I was doing that one night, but he didn't get a fuck. It got him to where things are now."

"Which is good, I think," I laugh, "I think she's enjoying herself."

"I'm sure he is, too."

Yeah, I didn't want to say exactly what we talked about earlier. It's not of his business. It's girl talk.

I'm not sure when I'm supposed to get up and leave. I'm really comfortable right now and this episode has about 20 minutes left so I'd rather just finish it than have to start from this place on my TV. And as I was going to ask if I could finish this episode up before I left, I saw him reach for his phone and open up his text messages where he immediately opened up one and started typing away.

I shouldn't care who he's texting, what he's saying to said person, but he looks so sucked into this text that it's making me wonder who it is. And by miracle, he sneezes which makes him take his left arm over his mouth to cover his sneezing up while holding his phone in his hand, which led me to clearly see who he was texting.

Samantha Reed. SAMANTHA FUCKING REED.

I don't know what was said, he moved his hand right away and continued texting after I said bless you, but the text she sent was lengthy.

Are they actually hooking up? Dating? Do they like each other?

I have so many questions that I don't really want to directly ask, but I do want to know. This guy who was my best friend for ten years of my life has stuff going on in his life and I know longer am apart of knowing. I don't know if that's the issue here or I'm just slightly jealous.

But I don't want to be jealous. There aren't feelings there so I have no idea what it is. I really don't.

"Mind if I finish this episode?"

"What?" He looks up from his phone for a second, "sorry, hold on..."

Um, yeah, okay.

He finishes typing and then locks his phone and sets it down and turns to me, "sorry, what did you ask me?"

"I just asked if I could finish this episode."

"Oh, yeah, of course. You can even watch the net one too," he tells me with a small smile before getting up and grabbing his phone, "I'm actually gonna go make myself a pancake or something, I'm starving. Do you want anything?"

I'm kinda hungry, too. Blair took the leftover pizza for her and Dylan during the movie so I haven't ate anything in a couple of hours.

But I'm thinking I want something better than a pancake. "Actually, do you have nutella?"

"Always," he laughs, "why?"

"I'll make us some crepes," I tell him, getting up, grabbing the remote to put the TV on pause, "or do you not like them?"

"I love Crepes."

Well, okay, then. Crepes it is. I love crepes, too.

We walked over to the kitchen with Sasha in tow and with his permission, I started looking for the everything I needed to make the crepes. Flour, which of course his mom had since she's always baking. Milk, butter, water, eggs. Making crepes is actually quite simple and I love making them for breakfast in the morning. Strawberry, banana and nutella crepes... yum. Best thing, ever.

After I got everything I needed on the counter, Troy stood back and hung out with Sasha around the island as I took charge of everything.

"Do you make these often?"

"Yeah," I shrug, "it's kind of my specialty. Way better than pancakes or french toast for breakfast."

"There was this really good crepe place by my house in Seattle, used to go there for breakfast or after football games."

For a moment, I stopped what I was doing and thought about him in Seattle. Obviously, I knew he had a life there and he had friends and everything, but this was always his home. He grew up here. He had me, he had his friends. And so him being in a new city, having fun, going to get crepes and going to football games, that took me back for a moment. He had a life there.

I turned around from washing the strawberries and gave him a small smile. "How much do you miss being there?"

He shrugged, "I miss it, but I'm happy to be home."

"So it was better than you expected?"

"Yeah, I made the most of it. I made some really great friends that I know I can go visit whenever. But the minute my dad told me about transferring back over here, there wasn't really any sadness. I mean, I grew up here. Obviously, I wanted to come back."

Right. He wanted to come back. Again, which means he had absolutely no feelings for me or else I doubt he'd be jumping at the opportunity to come back since it would have been totally awkward between us, you know?

Ugh. Whatever. Push that out of your mind, Gabriella, and finish washing these strawberries.

"Are you planning a trip?"

"I was thinking about maybe heading out there during Winter Break, but I don't know. We'll see if my parents wanna go anywhere."

"Does it just pour during the winter?"

He laughs, "oh yeah. Rain all the time. You get kind of used to it, though."

I don't know if I could handle rain on an everyday level. I love the rain, for sure, but maybe a few days here and there at a time. So, I most definitely could not live in Seattle or anywhere where it rains constantly during the wintertime. Seattle is so beautiful, though, that maybe the rain doesn't even matter.

And I know I said I don't wanna think about his life in Seattle, but I wanna make conversation and I want him to know that I still care about him.

"What'd you do for fun out there? Besides football games?"

"Sorry, hold on, my mom's calling," he says, picking up his phone, "hey, mom, what's up?"

As he talked to her on the phone, I prepared the crepe mix, throwing in the flour, eggs, butter, milk and water together.

He got off the phone with her no less than two minutes later, but I was now in the zone to be making conversation with him. I grabbed a pan, put it on the stove and put the heat on medium as I drizzled some olive oil in the center. I whisked the batter a bit more making sure to get all the chucks out. And once it was ready, I poured some in there, making the first of the two crepes.

Troy just sat back and watched as he pet Sasha, "so, it's like making a pancake?"

"But thinner," I correct him, "you don't wanna add too much batter into the pan or else it becomes thick and crepes are supposed to be thin."

"Right, because you fill them up with things."

"Yes," I tell him, grabbing a spatula from one of the drawers, "and it doesn't take long at all to cook."

Before I knew it, his crepe was done and I set it off to the side as I put more batter in the pan for mine. I was going to make it really quick and then add the fruit and nutella at the same time so we can eat them together.

Once mine was done, I brought both over to the other counter and spread nutella in the middle, topping it with bananas and strawberries.

"That looks so good."

"It is," I close his crepe, flip it over and put a little more nutella on top and sprinkled it with a couple more strawberries.

And then I did the same to mine.

Once they were both done, we sat in the seats around the island and we both took our first bite together. I already knew how they were going to taste because I've had my crepes a hundred times, so I was really just waiting on his reaction.

And it was a good one. Thank God. "So freaking good."

"Yeah, you like it?"

"Unfortunately, you're now gonna have to invite me over whenever you're having crepes for breakfast."

"Sure," I laugh, but it really just brings up memories of him coming over for breakfast all the time years ago. So many memoirs between us that I can't help but be reminded of them by SO many things. But I guess we can make new memories with this new friendship. "They're so easy to make."

He nodded, taking another few bites. "So, what did you ask about Seattle?"

Oh right. "I asked what you did for fun."

"Right," he says, taking another bite, "I mean, stuff I do here. Hang with friends, go to the movies, house parties. Nothing out of the ordinary, really."

"Of course," I laugh. It was a silly question. It's not like Seattle is a small town. It's SO city. There's probably so much to do there.

But for the rest of the night, a good hour or so, he told me all about Seattle. His first day there, how the school was, about the friends he made there. Even about the girl he dated that his mom wasn't too thrilled on.

We talked about it all and you know what? I actually enjoyed every single minute of it.

Because it felt like old times.