May 14, 2030

Grandpa gave me a checkup this morning. Bass went with me. He always goes with me these days. So far, everything is fine with the babies. I'm tired and my back hurts but Grandpa thinks it's all normal stuff and nothing I need to worry about.

It doesn't matter. I still worry, but not as much as Bass does.

He's been having nightmares lately. I know they are about Shelley and the way she and their baby died. I haven't told him that I know what he's dreaming about. He's not getting much sleep as it is, and I want to avoid making anything worse. Hearing him cry out about 'all the blood' every night is starting to mess with my head though.

I was kind of worried before this started (who wouldn't be?) but now it's all I think about. I don't want to lose either of my babies and I definitely don't want to die. But what if I do? What if they do? Will that be the end of the new and improved Bass Monroe?

I'm afraid that if the worst happens, it would break him again. I'm not sure he could bounce back from that. I'm not saying I'm more important than the others he's lost, but I'm guessing that a person can only lose so many loved ones before they fall apart.

May 15, 2030

I talked to Miles today. I've been worried about him too. He's been drinking a lot more than he ever used to. In fact, I haven't seen him sober in almost a month. The other thing I haven't seen much of? Stephanie, and definitely not Stephanie WITH Miles. Something is up.

I cornered him at the bar that's a few blocks away from the diner. It was barely noon but he was there, already sloshed.

"Miles?" I tapped his shoulder and he glanced at me with weary bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah, kid?"

"What is going on? I'm worried about you. So is Bass."

"Yeah. He told me."

"Has something happened? Is it Stephanie?"

Miles let out a long breath and then took another drink. "Told her there was no point. She needs to find someone else."

"Someone else? Why?" I couldn't remember ever seeing him so sad, not even after Mom died. That's saying something considering how broken up he was then. I guess it's a good sign that he's out and about, but just barely.

"I'm a worthless drunk. She's a smart and beautiful girl. She's still young and has a good job. She has a future."

"Maybe she wants you in her future?"

"Nah. She might think she does, but she doesn't."

"I think she really does want you in her future."

Miles stood then, banging his fists on the bar. "I don't deserve her, Charlie. I don't deserve shit."

"Miles?" My voice was just a whisper, and I was barely keeping it together. Seeing him like this…it was awful. "You deserve happiness."

"No I really fucking don't."

I started to cry then. These pregnancy hormones are a bitch. He felt terrible. I could tell just by looking at him. He pulled me close and held me while I cried. He patted my back awkwardly, "Stop Charlie. Don't cry."

"I can't not cry. You are my strong person. You are Bass's strong person. If you fall apart, what happens to us?"

"I am not strong. Not anymore."

"What brought this on? I thought you guys were happy?"

"We were, I think. Well, I thought we were happy."

"But?"

"She said I'm not over your Mom. She said I still need closure."

This sounded about right to me, but obviously he was doing it wrong. "So, you're looking for closure in a bar?"

Miles stared at me for a while, "Well, no –"

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Getting wasted so I don't have to think about any fucking closure." He picked up his bottle and emptied before slamming it down on the bar. The bartender shot him a dirty look. I pulled on Miles's hand and led him out of the bar.

"Stephanie is right. You need to say goodbye. You need to let her go."

"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?" He left me then. I watched as he staggered down the street.

May 16, 2030

Last night Bass and I went to bed early. He was tired and he could tell I was upset. I told him about Miles and about his unwillingness to seek out closure.

"Miles never was good with emotions, Charlie."

"I know, but I want him to be happy and I think he could be, if…"

"If he'd get his shit together and say goodbye to your Mom?"

"Yeah, and then he can go grovel to Stephanie and hope she forgives him."

Bass pulled me close, and kissed my temple. "Don't think that will be a problem. She's been asking about him every time she stops in for lunch. Looks like a lost puppy."

"That makes two of them." I sighed, "Will you talk to him, Bass?"

"Yeah. I'll do it tomorrow."

"Thank you."

"Of course." He slid his hand around to gently caress my belly and then up so that he could palm my breast. It felt amazing. "I'll talk to him tomorrow, but tonight I want to help you relieve some of this tension that has you so tightly wound."

"Okay." No way was I going to argue with that. "I do feel tense."

His eyes went kind of dark. "Take off your clothes."

"Uh, okay." My skin tingled with expectation as I did what he asked.

"Now come up here." He was lying on his back in the middle of our bed.

"Up there?" I was curious but also confused.

He chuckled at my inexperience, which made me frown and cross my arms. Bass's eyes flew down to my breasts. Already swollen, in this position they looked enormous. He licked his lips and when he spoke this time, the humor was gone. He was serious and focused. "Just crawl up here, Charlie. I'll show you what to do."

I was nervous and more than a little self conscious but the expression on his face told me that I should trust him, so I did. I paused over his groin. He was still wearing pants, but I could feel him hard and ready through the fabric. He shook his head no, and crooked his finger, urging me farther up…

And suddenly, I realized what he wanted me to do and I shook my head no. "That's a bad idea. I'll suffocate you with my big belly."

He smiled but shook his head again, "No, you won't. Just get up here."

I hesitated but finally did what he asked, moving up his body until my exposed sex hovered right over his face. I was feeling incredibly self conscious, but he gently wrapped his arms around my thighs and pulled me closer. I still wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but then he started licking me and I forgot everything else.

Bass is so good at so many things, but his mouth can work magic. He stroked my throbbing center with the rough of his tongue, stopping now and then to thrust it into my pussy. An unbearable tension was building inside me, coiling and swirling. I grabbed onto the headboard and began to pivot my hips, rocking against that magic tongue. He loosened his hold on my legs after he could tell I didn't need the extra support.

Then, when I was starting to think it couldn't possibly get any better, Bass used his fingers to gently fuck my pussy from behind. Oh, yes…that was better. He latched onto my clit and began to suck and that's when I broke apart, shattering into a million orgasmic bits. Holy shit.

"Holy shit." I said out loud, before shakily scooting back and looking down at his self satisfied smirk.

"So it was okay?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

I smacked him playfully, "Yeah, it was okay. Now it's my turn."

"No, you don't have to. That was for you. I know you had a rough day." He pulled me down and into his arms.

"Well, I want to… so let me." He didn't argue. I ran my hand down his body, ghosting over his collar bone and down over his pecs. Lower still, I worked my way along his tight abs and farther down still.

He was ahead of me, working to unfasten his jeans so that when I got to them, I only had to slide my hand inside and when I did he lifted his hips. Together, we worked his pants down to his thighs, leaving him bare. Bare and beautifully hard: Bass's cock is perfect, long and thick and heavily veined.

I wrapped my fingers around his shaft and began to pull slowly at first. Nearing the flared head, I opened my palm and stroked over the top, feeling the drops of pre-come accumulating there. Then I moved so that I was on my hands and knees. I licked him from base to head and he moaned which made me smile.

I opened my mouth and took him in, swirling my tongue all over his sensitive cock. I could take a lot of him into my mouth, but not all. I wrapped my hand around the base and began to firmly stroke while also sucking and licking. His hands were in my hair and he was close to release. I could tell because of his breathing and the way he began to thrust up, pushing deeper into my mouth.

I took my hand off his dick and slid my fingers farther down, softly cupping and stroking his balls. They were pulling in tight and soon he was thrusting more aggressively. I concentrated on controlling my gag reflex and let him fuck my mouth and throat. In just a few moments, he came with a growl. I swallowed it all and then, exhausted, I moved back up to his side, collapsing onto the bed.

"I'm sorry Charlie. I got carried away." He pulled me close and was lovingly rubbing my back.

"Don't be sorry. I'm not." I smiled, but it was immediately followed by a yawn. "So tired though."

I fell asleep and rested peacefully until I woke to the sound of Bass crying out in his sleep. I held him tighter, hoping to ease him through his dream. Eventually, he stopped thrashing and crying out. Sweaty and shaky, he settled back to sleep in my arms. I didn't go back to sleep. I couldn't.

May 17, 2030

I got up early. Bass was still sleeping. I got dressed and snuck out. I knew that Bass was planning to go see Miles today, but I wanted to visit with him first. He was still living at Grandpa's so I let myself in and went to his room. I knocked and opened the door when I heard him mutter something that sounded a lot like 'get the hell out'.

"Good morning." I said in a forced cheerful voice.

He groaned and pressed his face into his pillow, clearly hoping I would just leave.

I didn't. "You don't have to talk. Just listen. Bass is going to come see you today. He wants to help you get through this – whatever this is." I paused, remembering Bass's restless sleep of late, "But you are going to need to help him too. You need to help each other."

Miles turned and looked at me with one bleary unfocused eye, "What?"

"Bass is really worried about me…about the babies. He's been having nightmares. He doesn't know that I know. He thinks…well, he's worried…"

Miles sits up slowly, holding his head, "Shelley." It was not a question.

"Yeah, Shelley."

"I'll talk to him. Now, go away so I can sleep some more."

I nodded and headed toward the door. He stopped me, "Hey Kid, it's gonna be okay. Bass and I – we're both messed up, but we'll get through it. We always do."

I left then, hoping he was right.

After the lunch rush, Bass told us he was taking the day off. He said he'd be back by dark and asked Edna (the old lady who makes pies for the diner) to sit with me after closing so I wouldn't be alone. Edna and I talked, but I can't really tell you about what. My mind was too preoccupied with the two most important men in my life, and hoping they could help each other.

When Bass got home, he was very drunk and didn't want to talk. I only ever heard bits of what happened. I know that they both went to visit my Mom's grave together where they talked.

I didn't push. If he wants me to know more, he'll tell me.

May 19, 2030

I was at the counter today helping with the lunch crowd when Miles walked in. He looked exhausted, but he was clean and his hair was combed. He was also quite sober, but still smiling a little. I took this as a good sign. The other good sign was that right behind him was Stephanie and she was grinning.

I let out a relieved sigh. Evidently whatever Bass and Miles had talked about had worked for both of them. Miles looked like a human again, and Bass hadn't had a nightmare since their talk.

And then, of course, I was so happy that I started to cry.

Stupid hormones.

A/N Please comment if you have a moment. Just a few chaps left here, folks. :)