Ya'll muthatruka's crazy! This chapter was forced out of me! Now this is the absolute last, and nuthin' can change my mind! People have wolfed out on me, threatened to jump off cliffhangers, and made threats that involved hot curling irons and parts of my anatomy that I'm not even sure exist! God damn, you guys are like a pack of wild animals!

Warning: language. religious references and "Jesus Christ!"'s

Disclaimer: Jeff davis. teen wolf. mtv. plot bunnies.

"Come on, Sourwolf, get up..."

"I'm gonna punch you in the face again…"

"Woah, look! I'm naked!"

Derek slowly opened his eyes and let them adjust to the bright lights. He sat up and looked around. The walls were covered with… his elementary school photos…? And pictures of Laura… The fireplace was empty, and above it hung a large photo of his family. It was taken at a family picnic they had when he was six years old.

"I knew that one would get ya!"

Derek whirred around and saw Stiles sitting on the bench that sat in front of the grand piano. He was wearing his big, goofy grin and a Batman t-shirt.

"What's up?"

Derek just stared at the boy.

"Dead silence. Man, you've gotta stop starting conversations with that. People will think you're socially awkw-wait… you are," the teen laughed, standing up. He walked up to the alpha and punched him in the shoulder. Derek went to grab his arm, but his hand passed through the boy as easily as it would air. "Oh, yeah. I can touch you, but you can't touch me. Forgot to tell ya that…"

"What's going on?"

Stiles scoffed and crossed his arms. "I thought you'd be happy to see me, but no! Fine, I'll just go!"

"No!" Derek went to stop the boy, but couldn't grab him. "I'm… I'm just confused…"

"Oh. Well, here's the thing. You're in the basement of your old house, but now you're just taking a nap. You cried yourself to sleep. This dream is kind of… kind of your way of keeping hold of your sanity. Everything's the way you remember, so you don't have to deal with the changes that keep happening," the teen explained.

"So, you're really…?"

"Dead?" Stiles finished. "Yup. Kinda sucks. And hey, just a little side word, your mom's intense! She, like…, threw me up against the wall and got all up in my face and screamed at me for hurting you! And your sister! Jesus Christ, she's hot… But she yelled at me, too!"

"Wait… You saw my family?"

"Yeah," Stiles smiled. "And Peter wasn't there. I don't think he got into Heaven this time..."

"How's everyone?" Derek asked, wanting to shake the information from the boy, but knowing it would a useless effort.

"Everyone's good. They told me to tell you, and this is word-for-word from Laura herself, "You need to get off your ass and stop being such a broody wolf." Life is wasted on the living, huh?" Stiles laughed.

"Stiles…"

"Yeah?"

"How are you doing?"

The teen laughed. "I'm holdin' up. I saw my mom," he said, tears starting to form. "God, she's just as funny as I remember… She was glad that I was there, but not really… 'cause of what it means…"

"I'm so sorry I couldn't-" A loud smack! echoed through the house as the teen slapped Derek across his face.

"No. Shut your face."

"You died because I was too weak to-" Another slap.

"Stop! Derek, I don't care! Well, I do... but it's not your fault, and if this is going to turn you into a recluse like it did with your family, then I'll turn into a zombie and eat your brains just so you can't over think this! And your sister is totally going to kill me for slapping you…"

"Twice…" Derek chuckled, rubbing his cheek.

"Oh, God, I'm dead again…"

Derek just laughed. "Yeah, you are… She broke a kid's nose because he budged me in the lunch line once…"

"Oh, good lord… Derek," Stiles said, going back over to the piano. "I have to go soon."

"No, you don't."

"Yeah, I really do. I have something that I need you to do, okay?"

"Anything."

"Be happy. Smile, for Christ's sake. You're so hot when you smile. God, I just wanted to rip your shirt off half the time… that you were actually wearing a shirt… not that I'm complaining or anything!"

"I'll always love you, Stiles. You know that, right?"

"Of course. But don't be afraid to love others. I can take it. The world can take it, Derek."

"I'll try, Stiles…"

"You'll succeed. Oh, and tell my dad that I love him. And to go on a date with Melissa. Even Mom thinks they're cute together… She just wants him to be happy."

Derek just smiled and tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to fall. Stiles slowly started to fade.

"You're really gone, aren't you?" Derek whispered.

"Yes, but I'll always be with you…" the teen said, pointing to Derek's chest. "Right here." He pointed to Derek's leg, then his shoulder, and other various body parts. "And here, and here, and here, and here, but not there, and most definitely here."

Derek just closed his eyes, letting the tears fall. When he opened them, Stiles was gone. "Goodbye…"

Yes, that was a No Strings Attached reference.

el fin. (for real, you frickin' bullies!)