'The great beyond'

The Chinese place Sara had recommended was small and out of the way, steam rising from the windows behind the bar they ordered at before taking a small table against the wall, the scents of spice and smoke lingering on the air. It wasn't the fanciest place in the city, but it was perfect for what they needed: good food, and a place to catch up properly. Only a few other diners sat around, a lone man at the counter and a family a few tables away, so Diggle and Felicity smiled at the place approvingly as they sat down, making identical faces at one another which ended up with them laughing loudly.

"I missed this," Felicity commented quietly. They were sitting, ordering within a minute of getting there and settling instantly. It was easy – there was no rush, no strain. All that mattered was that their phones were off for the night and they had the time to talk.

Diggle looked up, taking a sip of his beer. "It's been too quiet without you around."

"I bet that was a relief," Felicity scoffed, only half-joking, "you must be getting so much more work done without me, you know, babbling down your ear."

"No. Not really. It's too quiet – it's not the same, Felicity. The Foundry needs you." He fell silent for a minute, as if picking his next words carefully. Diggle was quick as a whip when it came to talking back to the Arrow, but also knew to make his words count in moments like this, "Oliver misses you, although he'd never say it. Sara too, but she does say it. A lot. I think she's planning a mutinity to avenge you at this point."

Felicity laughed, "I'll try and meet up with her sometime, too. I'll tell her it's okay – I chose to go."

"Please, let her put Oliver in his place first. That boy needs some sense smacked into him for letting you go."

" . . . Digg."

"I don't mean to upset you," he said quickly, noticing the look on her face, "I just wanted you to know you're missed. No matter what Oliver said, we were all friends. This . . . this saved me. I thought I wouldn't cope as a civilian again, not after the war. He didn't fake all of that – and for the record, I'll always be here for you."

"Thanks, Digg."

"Just don't forget to call. I want to hear from you every week, otherwise I'll worry."

"I text you almost every day as it is, things don't have to change."

The restaurant was still clicking and bubbling around them, but the noise dulled around them. For a moment, all that mattered was her friend, and Felicity quite liked it that way. It meant she didn't have to think about the future. The decision had been weighing on her mind, nagging in the background of her every thought.

Diggle smiled sadly, "They already have."

"I didn't want to go," she replied, shrugging. She had already decided not to blame herself anymore, ignoring the twitch in her stomach at the words. "I had to. You get that, right?"

"I do. You made the right call."

"But you still don't sound happy about it."

"There's a psycho in the city, one of my best friends is acting like his dog just got run over by a ten ton truck and the other is considering leaving. I have a lot of reasons not to be happy," he lifted his drink and took a long swig, grinning at the shock on Felicity's face across from him. "What?"

"H-How did you know I was thinking of leaving?"

"I'm not a fool," he replied. "You quit your job – day and night, and you're arguing with one of the most important people in your life. You need space, it's obvious. There's not much left for you here."

"There's you," she said softly. "I don't want to just leave you completely. It feels too much like running away."

"Is it to something better?"

"I . . . maybe. I don't know yet."

"And you never will, unless you give it a try," he said. Diggle crossed his arms, "Is it something to do with this Kord guy? Oliver is so keeping tabs on you, by the way, and mentioned the two of you were pretty chummy. I haven't seen him that red since Sara and Roy spiked his drink with those Carolina Reaper peppers."

They both laughed at the memory for a few seconds, before the smile fell from Felicity's face. It had been a few months ago, in the time when Oliver was starting to smile for real; they had all been in the Foundry going stir crazy for days with the city so peaceful, and Roy had decided they needed something to do. That something had turned out to be pranking Oliver. It was easy to forget with the way they lived that he really was young, but seeing his glee as he and Sara planned out a way to spike Oliver's drink had reminded Felicity of a child and his father – not that either would ever admit to seeing the other as that. But they were a family. Almost.

She huffed out a defeated breath. It was hard enough walking away without thinking of who else she was leaving behind. If she chose to leave . . . she'd miss Roy, too. Hell, she could barely cope without them in the same city, how on earth would she be able to cope if she moved to Chicago? It hurt just to think it, she ached from memories. It was all too hard.

"Yeah."

Diggle changed the subject back, seeing her mind wander somewhere. If Felicity's head wasn't in it, he was sure nothing he said would get through to her, and he needed to do that. He, Sara and Roy had talked that afternoon and decided one of them had to talk to Felicity and get her to do whatever was best for her, regardless of how they felt about her. He'd agreed to be the front-man for their plan. "So, who is this Kord guy?"

"My best friend – before you, of course," Felicity said, a sheepish smile fleetingly crossing her features. "You're my number one now, Digg."

"Nice save."

"Thanks very much," she nodded. "Don't judge him before you've met him, Ted is a good guy. An idiot, but a good one."

On her face, the smile righted itself once more. It flickered with familiarity, a comfort Diggle had not seen on her in a while – not since Slade's appearance. It was clear that whatever was going on, Ted Kord had improved Felicity's spirits significantly. Anyone who managed that was good in Diggle's book.

"And he's what? Asked you out?"

"Oh, God no!" Felicity shook her head, choking on her drink mid-sip. She spluttered between her words, but it was mixed with laughter, as if the notion was ludicrous. "Please, Ted is just a friend. I've known him since forever. He wouldn't – we wouldn't ever-"

"So he hasn't asked you to leave town with him?" Diggle asked, brow creasing. "Now I'm just confused."

"He's offered me a job with him at Kord Industries," Felicity told him. She paused for a moment as their food was called and Diggle walked to the counter to fetch it, offering a 'thank you' before tearing into the noodles she had ordered. To distance herself from it, she was carefully twisting each forkful of food as she talked, desperate to keep her hands and mind busy as her mouth talked. "It's in the Research and Development department, doing what I used to – working with computers. It's a good company: some of the projects they're working on are years ahead of anything else on the market. And . . . it's what I trained for years to do. Not get Oliver coffee."

At the mention of their boss, Diggle snorted. "I get that. I used to be a soldier, now I'm a driver. But Felicity," he paused, waiting for her to look up before continuing, "It doesn't define us, what we've had to be for the mission. Both of us have lives outside of the Arrow. It sounds like it's a pretty sweet deal Kord Industries is offering you, everything you ever wanted . . . so why are you hesitating?"

Felicity remained intently focused on twisting her food artfully onto her fork, giving the automatic response, "It's a big decision to make."

"You've made bigger in a split second. Quite a lot, actually."

Felicity's mind was torn to finding a bleeding vigilante in the back of her car, to jumping in front of Sara to take a bullet, to hacking into countless databases more times than she could remember. All those times, she had been in complete control – but there was no choice. It was simple to her, easy even: she did whatever Oliver would want her to do, whatever would help the city the most. That was her drive.

Without it, the decision was harder. But she had the feeling that wasn't what Diggle meant at all when he said that. When she looked up, his gaze was steadily on her, so she gave the only answer she had. "It was different then. It was always clear what I had to do."

"Why?"

"Because . . . I had a purpose," she frowned, feeling the hotness in her eyes double as she shrank back into herself, "I don't anymore."

"You do," Diggle said. He spoke with a calm candor which piqued her interest, drawing her attention back to him. "No matter what it is you do – you, Felicity, help people. Whether that's by fighting with us or helping to design a computer that can stop bombs or restart a heart or whatever you could work on at Kord Industries - the end remains the same. You help people."

"It wouldn't be the same."

"No," Diggle agreed, "But it was never gonna be the same, was it?"

It appeared to him that Felicity was going to crumble for a moment, as her eyes closed and she slowly shook her head, the world freezing in respect for her grief. And it was that, he was sure – she was losing them, or felt like she was; more than that, she was losing the future they had. All those maybes and possibilities of family and friendship and Oliver – because they were the least subtle people he knew at this point. Felicity was grieving for the future that might have been, if things had gone differently. Diggle saw it all in that movement, the resigned incline of her head as she squeezed her eyelids together to try as wish it away. Then she opened them, and the brightness remained.

"You're right," she said ruefully, putting down her fork to cross her hands underneath her chin. "I've been trying to tell myself for days to just move on, get out. But . . . it's not – it's not easy. Not to leave, and not to let go."

"It's only the end if you let it be. I'm still here, so are the others, and even if you take the job, we will always be here for you. You can be away for years and that won't change, because we're a family now – and I want what's best for you."

Felicity nodded her head, "You think I should take the job."

"I think some perspective would do you good," Diggle replied frankly, "I know it's a great opportunity for you to do something with your life, and I believe you'll still do good, even if you leave. Felicity – of course I'd love it if you stayed, but you wouldn't. You need more than some office job here. You need something which challenges you, something more than Starling can give you right now."

"But if I go . . ." Felicity tugged a piece of hair behind her ear, playing the words out in her head. "What if I can't live without this?"

"You can. You will." Seeing her face was still uncertain, Felicity biting the inside of her lip and again turning her gaze anywhere but his face, Diggle played the only card he had left. "Ask yourself this: where will you be most happy? That's all that counts."

Slowly, Felicity looked up. It almost pained her to say it, but she did. She had to. "With Ted."

To her surprise, Diggle smiled warmly. There was not one drop of resentment in his eyes, which she didn't expect in the first place – but there was no judgement, either. No opinion. No dislike of her for choosing to go. All he held in his gaze was what he always did: hope. "Then there's your answer."

A/N: yeah, I know I haven't updated in forever. I did however re-work the first five chapters and scrub out any mistakes I missed the first time. I thought about giving up on this story for a while but I've found some inspiration to start it up again (thank whoever is responsible for justice league 3000 and the return of Ted and Booster teaming up), and I'll try to keep posting semi-regularly. I'm sorry. please review with what you'd like to see next!