Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin, any of its characters or plots, I just alter them.

Sorry it's been so long, I've been away with no internet for a week and a half, it honestly felt like I was missing a limb.

So, I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always, please review : )

Merlin

It was an invaluable comfort, after all of the pressure and sadness of the last few weeks, for Arthur and Merlin to lay in the Prince's bed, legs tangled and hands joined. Feeling another's heart beat in such close vicinity to yours… well it was indescribable. There were no words shared between them as there was no need; just gentle caresses, fingers running through hair and circles traced into arms. It was the proverbial calm before the storm.

All of the plans had been made; they knew who had to do what, where they had to be and when. The prince had spent hours with Leon, pouring over plans of the castle and cementing their plan of attack, which was going to be executed tomorrow.

"Arthur?" Merlin asked gently, on the verge of sleep.

"Hum?" Arthur made a mumbled sound in the affirmative, encouraging the warlock to continue.

"Don't die." Merlin asked quietly, voice timid and unsure. He was suddenly feeling very overwhelmed by the reality that this might be the last evening that they spent together. The young warlock could feel his tears welling up and in a stubborn refusal of emotions he screwed his eyes shut tightly, willing the tears not to fall.

Arthur's own throat tightened at the brunette's words; he didn't know what he would do if this was the last time he saw his love.

"…for me. Don't die, for me." The warlock added on as if it were an afterthought. At this, tears welled up in the blonde's eyes and fell silently down his face as he pulled the brunette closer to his side. Arthur didn't respond to Merlin's words; he never wanted to lie to him and promising him something that he couldn't guarantee was out of the question.

The brunette craned his neck and began to place gentle kisses on the strong jaw of the prince, praying to whatever god that there was that Arthur would remain okay throughout tomorrow. The blonde rolled over carefully, trapping the slighter man underneath him as he kissed his lips earnestly, wanting to convey his love.

"Promise me." Merlin gasped as he pulled his mouth harshly from Arthur's, panting from the lack of oxygen.

"I can't." Arthur answered, pulling back and looking the warlock in the eyes. Those two words were all that it took to reduce Merlin to a sobbing mess.

Startled by the outburst, Arthur sat up and pulled the warlock into his lap, identical the earlier days of their relationship. He rocked them back and forth, much like you would with a child; in fact Arthur could remember Leon holding him in a similar when he was upset.

"I'm sorry." He muttered into the warlock's hair. "I'm sorry." He emphasised. Not knowing what else to say.

Merlin clung to him, in a desperate attempt to keep him close, so close that he would never leave again. It was an odd sort of desperation; Merlin had never had anything that he was scared of losing, not a toy or a grandparent. And now suddenly the most important thing in his life was hanging in the balance and he was unprepared; he knew nothing of grief or how to handle loss, he had never lost anything worth grieving. He had known nothing of love until Arthur and now he couldn't imagine how empty his life would be without him, without love. It was overwhelming. There were no cards left to play, no backup plans, everything was going into this attack and if it failed Merlin would lose everything. It was like living in the dark for your entire life; not being able to see anything and then suddenly you're allowed to turn on the lights and you can see all the magnificent colours, different shades and textures. And finally, when you have learnt the name of all of them, and you have favourites and preferences, they turn off the lights again. And your left in the dark, knowing what all of the colours look like, stuck with memories, but never the real thing. Merlin was certain that if that happened, it would break him.

Arthur closed his eyes and rested his cheek on Merlin's head, still rocking them back and forth. He sat with the warlock until he drifted off to sleep, before laying him underneath the sheets and placing a kiss to his forehead.

"I love you." He whispered against the boy's skin, before kissing and leaving the room silently.

Gaius

Gaius was the next that the prince visited; he had left Merlin sleeping peacefully in his bed and had no doubt that he would be there when he returned. He had entered the physician's quarters at his invitation and was now sat next to him, looking at the many shelves that lined his walls, filled with hundreds of nameless potions and concoctions. It was homely.

The prince shared a strange kind of friendship with the physician; an alliance had formed, through mutual hatred of Uther's treatment of those with magic. Gaius had guided him through some tough times with wise words, like a grandfather.

The blonde knew he would miss this; the tea, the aimless chatter and in comparison, the deep, life-affirming conversations, the lessons in which Gaius tried to teach the prince about potions and plants and the blonde would just mess around and launch things at the walls as if he were two. But he knew that above all, he would miss just sitting here without saying anything and being comforted by the mere presence of the father come grandfather figure that had positively wedged himself in his life.

They didn't say anything; just sat in comfortable silence, remembering the good times, before grief had changed them both.

The physician had known the little prince for three months when one day the boy came charging into his quarters and into the adjoining room at the end of the room. Gaius paused his actions of bottling a muscle relaxant for the knights and carefully placed it down on the bench before following the blonde.

The little boy was curled up on the old bed in the corner of the room; lay on his side in a foetal position. Gaius walked around the bed so that he could see the boy's face, he was shocked to see the angry red mark on the blonde's cheek.

"What happened my boy?" Gaius asked, sitting on the bed and placing a hand on the boy's back. He had been shocked the first time Arthur had come to him with marks on his body and even more shocked to discover it was the king that put them there. However, he was now resigned to the fact that there was nothing he could do about it. Uther was the king and therefore a blind eye would be turned to all of his indiscretions.

Arthur stared blankly at the wall as he told the story of how he had made his Mother cry. Apparently Ygraine had stated that they were happy tears, but apparently her words had not been enough to placate Uther and he had struck the boy without second thought.

Gaius pulled the boy up after he had released a few tears and wiped the blonde's face.

"Now," he said. "Do you want to see something special?" he asked and watched as the prince's eyes lit up with excitement.

"Yes please." He said, nodding his head vigorously.

"Arthur, if I show you, you have to swear to keep it secret. You cannot tell anyone, not your mother or your father, only Leon, okay?" he explained, knowing he could trust the prince if he explained the situation. The blonde boy nodded again.

"Okay."

"Very good then." Gaius concluded as he stood up and walked about three paces away from boy and searched deep in his memory for the words that he needed, Finding them, locked away in some deep recess at the back of his mind.

He muttered the words with reverence as watched in awe, as, for the first time in ten years, his magic flared up, creating a beautiful image that pranced around the room, leaving a trail of glitter and sparks.

Arthur watched, with avid curiosity, as the baby dragon made of gold sparks flew around their heads.

"Magic isn't always evil Arthur, it can be beautiful and helpful and good." He said stressing his point.

Arthur smiled and lay back on the bed before pulling the sheets over his body.

"I know Gaius." He said "Do you think that maybe you could… never mind." He stopped, shaking his head and blushing.

Gaius smiled, knowing what he wanted without the prince having to say it. He concentrated on the baby dragon, watching as it transformed into an identical dragon, only made out of wood.

He placed the dragon in the boy's hand before kissing his forehead and tucking him in.

"Don't worry, little prince. The dragon will look after you, as long as you have it with you."

The prince gripped the physician's hand, refusing to let go, forcing the old man to pull up a chair and settle in it until the prince was asleep enough that he could free his hand, and in all honesty, he wouldn't have it any other way.

The final farewell, in some ways, would be the hardest. Biding farewell to Leon, his oldest friend and comrade, would be the most difficult thing he would have to do tonight. Although saying goodbye to Merlin had been painful, the prince was assured that even if he didn't survive, the warlock would. The fact that the warlock would live on reassured him.
However there was no guarantee that his brother would survive; no safety nets or protectors. Nothing. He was leaving Leon with the sole duty of protecting his warlock, at all costs, as they had discussed earlier.
Their plan had been simple, Arthur killed Uther whilst Leon protected Merlin; Arthur had no doubt that Uther would have sent people after Merlin, knowing that it was the most direct way to hurt him.

Then there were contingencies; if Uther died and everyone else survived then Arthur became king and everyone was happy. If Uther and Arthur died, Leon was to become king and prevent the warlock from doing anything stupid, looking after him till old age. If the king, Leon and Arthur died then Merlin was to become king with Gwain as his regent, a helping hand to guide him through it all, Gwaine would hold all of the power until he and the council decided that he could deal with it all on his own. Both Leon and Arthur held secret hope that if neither of them returned tomorrow, Gwaine and Merlin would find comfort in each other and maybe even a relationship. The final plan was the worst-case-scenario plan; if Uther lived, the remaining survivors fled.
He didn't knock on Leon's door, they never had before and he didn't feel the need now. However he wished he had when he walked in.
Leon was lay, shirtless and writhing, underneath an equally undressed Gwaine.
"Jesus Leon!" he shouted as he shielded his eyes and shut himself in the room, away from the prying eyes of any noisy maids.
"Arthur!" Leon said scrambling up from the bed and pulling his undershirt on, before throwing Gwaine's at the knight's chest.
Composing himself, Arthur turned to face his brother. "That was a surprise, Sir Gwaine." Arthur commented before nodding his greeting at the brunette.
Gwaine flushed under he gaze of his prince and hopefully soon, king.
"Sire... We were just..." Gwaine trailed off unsure of how they were going to get out of this situation.
"I'm well aware of what you were doing Sir Gwaine, my concern lies with whom you were doing." Arthur retorted smugly, finding great pleasure in the knight's discomfort.
"Stop it Arthur." Leon said, smiling slightly now that he knew his brother was joking.
"Alright Leon." the prince's smile was replace with a frown. "I have important matters to discuss with you."
Leon's smile also faded, time for farewells. He suddenly found himself quite overcome with emotion, he kind of emotion that choked your throat and stung your eyes. He turned to Gwaine and opens his mouth as if to say something, before apparently thinking better of it and closing it without muttering a word. He then turned and looked at his brother, letting out a strangled sound that caught in his throat and left his mouth feeling dry. "Arthur."
He blonde immediately collapsed in front of his brother holding their foreheads together by placing a hand on the back of the knight's neck.
"I know." the prince said, sounding closer to tears than Gwaine had ever heard him. "Believe me Leon, I know."
They sat together for a while, holding themselves close together, gaining comfort from not only their whispered words but their closeness as well. Eventually Gwaine felt as if he was intruding on a very private moment so he moved in front of Leon's fire and polished the blonde knight's sword with deft fingers. He was applying such care to his job, sharpening the blade as much as physically possible; tomorrow, in the heat of battle, this blade could be the only thing standing in between Leon's death or his safe return and so he wasn't going to take any chances.
He knew nothing of the brotherly words they shared that night, or how they comforted them. He had never had a brother or a sister with which to share comforting nonsense.
Time flowed as he sharpened Leon's sword, once he was finished he moved onto the armour, taking just as much care with it; knowing it could protect the knight from a knife attack or even an arrow. He stopped his vigorous work only when the prince placed a hand on his shoulder. Jumping up he straightened his clothes out and waited for the prince to say what he obviously wanted to. He scanned the room in search of Leon and when he couldn't see him, concluded that he must have left upon Arthur's request.
"Leon and I have always been close; I relied on him heavily in a time of need and I have recently found great need of him once more. The love we share has always been of a brotherly nature, perhaps sometimes more father and son, but one thing is sure, it never lacked in strength. I have watched him as he showed his sorrow at my loneliness and tried to integrate me with the knights. I will always resent myself because of that, for all of the work he put into my relations with others he never once thought of himself. I had feared, until recently, that he would never find another that he would trust enough to love and my happiness that he found that in you is too large to be expressed. Truly, I will be honoured to call you my kin Gwaine and hope that you two will find great strength in each other in the future." the blonde finished with unshed tears in his eyes and reddened cheeks; he had never expressed emotions this feverishly in front of another before and suddenly wished he could embrace the knight.
He had little time to contemplate this however, as Gwaine pulled the blonde into an awkward-one-armed-man-hug.
"Thank you sire." Gwaine mumbled and Arthur smiled before responding in a confident voice.
"It's just Arthur, Gwaine."
Leon returned to the room just as the men parted, looking red eyed and upset. Gwaine moved to embrace him tenderly, showing his happiness at Arthur's acceptance with actions instead of words.
"Are you okay?" he whispered to Leon, quietly enough that the prince wouldn't hear.
"I will be." he replied, kissing Gwaine softly before hugging him again.
"I'm going to give you both some time together, I'll be in my chambers if you want to see me again before the morning." he said before pulling away and walking to the door. "Sire." Gwaine bowed at the prince, receiving only a playful arch of an eyebrow in return. "Arthur." he amended.
"I shall see you soon." Leon called, but the door was already closed.

The two remaining men walked solemnly towards the rug by the fire and sat down, faces to the flames. They didn't say anything for a moment and then they both began at the same time.
"I'm gla-"
"Than-"
They laughed, and then Leon spoke, seriousness
seeping into his voice.
"Thank you, for treating Gwaine so amiably." Leon said and Arthur frowned.
"You spent do long focusing on me and doing nothing for yourself; I feared that you would never find someone for yourself. Granted that I would have preferred to find out another way, walking in to find you kissing him was certainly not very high on my to-do list." the blonde paused as they both laughed. "I felt responsible for your loneliness and I wanted to do something about it for so long, I just never knew what to do." the prince admitted shyly, staring intently at the floor.
"Oh Arthur," Leon sighed. "I never wanted you to feel as if you were to blame, to be honest I never realised how nice it was to have someone to share things with before Gwaine." he smiled softly, a nostalgic smile that told of happiness and times long passed where no one died and goodbyes were never needed. "I always had you, brother."
Arthur hadn't expected Leon's farewell to end like this, but he was glad it did. Sometimes, he realised, the unexpected things turn out to be the best. He was feeling better now; Leon had a relationship and another person to love and be loved by, if anything happened to him tomorrow he wouldn't worry about leaving Leon on his own for Leon had Gwaine.
They said goodbye, at about two hours past midnight with embraces and thank yous that spoke no only of he deeds done in the past few hours, but everything they had done for each other over their entire lifetimes. A muttered I love you from each man was followed only by the sound of footsteps as hey parted ways for the meantime.

Quickly after his brother had left, Leon strode towards Gwaine's chambers, seeking out the man just because he wanted his company. He found the brunette shirtless, lay stomach down on his own bed, arms and legs flopping over the sides, snoring loudly. Leon laughed silently and allowed his whole face to light up with a smile. Walking over to the bed, he stripped off his clothes before curling next to Gwaine under the sheets. Gwaine stirred at the movement and pulled himself closer to the blonde, burrowing his head into Leon's neck.
"I love you." Leon whispered into the brunette's hair before kissing his head.
"Wuv you too." Gwaine replied sleepily, curling into the blonde. Leon smiled another whole-face-smile that made everything seem just a little bit brighter. The two men eventually drifted off to receive only a few fitful hours of interrupted sleep because they both knew what tomorrow might bring.

Arthur returned to Merlin after walking around the castle once again. The walk hadn't been a good buy to the walls of the castle as such, but what it stood for, memories and people.
Admittedly, a small, small nostalgic, immature part of him was saying good buy to the bricks. The ancient bricks that had protected kings from outside attacks for years and years, no king had ever thought that they were to be attacked from the inside; therefore they were never built to withstand that kind of attack. He walked for about an hour, stopping only when his thoughts drifted to Merlin. Returning to the room Arthur removed his armour and looked around the room, searching for Merlin. Not finding him he called out expecting to see him emerge from the bed or perhaps the changing screen.
Panic unlike any other began to course through Arthur's body; he didn't know where the warlock was. After a few minutes of frantic search he commanded himself to calm down; he was a soldier, and he had to look at this objectively. Okay. Assuming that Merlin left of his own accord, then he would either be in the cave
or with Gaius. Considering that Merlin had connected more with the dragon and spent more time confiding in him, he could imagine that that was where he was.
His journey to the caves was swift, worry causing his feet to move quickly and silently.
As he was walking down the steps leading to the caverns he could see footprints that looked distinctively like Merlins and so he slowed his pace and walked along, hugging wall, not wanting to interrupt any private moment that he might be sharing with the dragon.
Eavesdropping was much more heroic.

"What if he doesn't come back tomorrow 'Garah? What will I do?" Merlin's voice travelled to the prince's ears along with some sniffles and hiccups, he was crying.
"There will be nothing you can do, young warlock." the dragon began, his deep voice rumbling and gravely. "You will have to learn to live without him."
At his Merlin's sniffles turned into loud sobs that swallowed him up and echoed loudly to the prince. Arthur let his back fall against the rock and his head crack against the wall, his eyes scrunched shut as if Merlins pain was his own.
"I can't lie without him, and not just in some mushy he-dies-I-die lovey kind of way. He showed me everything; different foods, different drinks, how to look after armour, how to be happy. I feel lost when he isn't with me, lonely, like I'm the only person there... And in the he-dies-I-die lovey kind of way as well." Merlin was still hiccupping in some places but it sounded like he was smiling through his tears.
"If Arthur falls tomorrow, I will find a way to bring him back... Or I will find a way to end myself."
At this Arthur jumped away from the wall and ran into the cave, his anger palpable.
"You shall not." he roared, voice echoing around the cavern. Merlin jumped at the voice as he had not known that the prince was there, the dragon, however, didn't even flinch.
"Arthur I-" Merlin began only to have his sentence cut off by the angry words of the prince.
"Tell me this is some kind of joke. Tell me you wouldn't really be that stupid." he said the anger still present but swallowed by weariness.
"I...Arthur..." tears continued to fall down the warlock's cheeks; his eyes were puffy from all the tears and his face quite red. "I can't." he admitted, and Arthur reeled back as if he had been struck. He stumbled backwards rather clumsily until he could lean on the cavern wall. He was going to kill himself if Arthur didn't survive.
Merlin would be dead.
Merlin stood and moved towards the blonde carefully, like he was trying not to startle a frightened animal. Deciding that it was most likely best to leave Arthur to his thoughts Merlin sat, about fifteen feet from the prince, and watched him.
Arthur's thoughts didn't really make sense; they were jumbled and mixed up, but they all centred on the same thought; Merlin wasn't going to live. The shock was prominent, and allowed very little room for any other emotion.
It took a while but eventually the shock wore off; it was like thawing ice, first he could feel his toes and fingers, next were legs and arms. It continued like this until he was quite able to stand and pull the warlock to his feet, shaking him vigorously as if he was trying to shake all thoughts of suicide from his mind.
"Why? Why would you do that?" he asked repeatedly, only stopping when Merlin place his hands on either side of his face.
"I've been alone before Arthur and I have no intention of doing it again. I need you like I need air, you helped me through everything, showed me what to do and what to expect. I wouldn't make it on my own."
Arthur frowned as he heard Merlins words, responding in the only way he could.

"You would make it on your own, you'd learn because you would have to, because the only thing keeping me going and allowing me to fight tomorrow is the fact that you will survive."
Merlins face dropped when he realised what he blonde was saying; yes it would be hard, but by killing himself he was letting Arthur down. "If you died tomorrow Merlin I would want nothing more to do with the world that took you from me, but I would not take myself out of it because I have a duty to my people and myself, and I would know that you didn't die so that I could kill myself."
Merlin sniffed and a few more tears fell. "I'm sorry Arthur, I don't know what I was thinking." they sat together for a few minutes and just as the prince was going to suggest that they get some real sleep in a real bed, he noticed that the warlock was already asleep.
He nodded his thanks at kilgharrah for not saying anything while they talked as he hoisted the brunette up into his arms.
"Thank you, Percival will be by first light to release you so that you can help, please don't betray us kilgharrah."
The great dragon laughed and threw his head back.
"So he still hasn't told you then." he laughed gesturing towards the seeping wizard.
"Told me what?" Arthur demanded, patience wearing thin; he just wanted to return to his chambers and sleep.
"It is his secret to tell." The dragon said as he turned and flew away.

By the time Arthur had placed Merlin gently on the bed his arms were burning from the excursion. He collapsed next to the brunette who was still sleeping. In one final burst of energy he pulled the covers over them both and allowed himself to drift off to sleep, thinking nothing of what was to come tomorrow.

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