Guys, you'll love this chapter. P.S. BEATRICE IS NOW FOUR.
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Chapter XII. Free Four
BEATRICE
I wake up refreshed. I didn't dream of Marcus, I dreamt of Shauna, Lynn, Marlene; the whole group yesterday, just hanging out and having fun, the way it's supposed to be.
I shiver when I remember we have stage two today, whatever that is. Tobias said it was primarily mental. I wake up Christina and Will and we walk to the cafeteria and eat breakfast. Al seems to be avoiding us.
After a quick meal, we run and line up next to the room Tobias told us to meet at yesterday. Tobias stands up and addresses us.
"Welcome to stage two. While the first step many of you have prepared for, nothing could prepare you for this. In this stage, your mental courage will be tested. Your worst fears will come to life."
My worst fears. Marcus. "This is not a joke." He glares at Drew and Peter, and I hold back a laugh.
"As I was saying, each of you will be called back. Today you will get a taste of this stage mixed with stage three; where you will go through each of your fears in a row, called a fear landscape. Today, each of you will go through your own and we will record your time and how many fears you have. You may as well get comfortable; you're going to be here for a while. We will not be able to see all your fears until at once stage three, but we will be able to see your individual fears in the stage two stimulations. This is just a taste of it. For the rest of stage two, you'll be facing one of your fears each simulation, which will be recorded."
"What's the lowest amount of fears someone has gotten so far?" Peter calls out.
Lauren and the other Dauntless born initiates arrive. They line up in the opposite wall. "In recent years, six."
We all look at Tobias, or Six. That's why he has that nick-name.
Tobias goes back into the room and calls the name of the first initiate. I gulp.
What if I see Marcus? Is he still one of my fears? I cringe.
Lynn goes in first. After about twenty minutes, she comes out traumatized. I gulp.
"Lynn, sixteen fears."
I wonder how many I'll have. I know heights, claustrophobia from the closet, him, and my capacity to kill; A.K.A., me turning into Marcus.
There's more.
I'm positive.
"Uriah."
-o0o-
This continues until I am the last one to go. Everyone else who went before me came out traumatized and looked like they just took a beating.
I would know.
They sit against the wall, holding their knees, or curling up in a ball. The whole room is silent. So far, everyone who's went has around fifteen to twenty fears. The door opens. I gulp.
Peter comes out, with a look on his face that makes me want to burst out laughing, but I am too nervous.
"Peter, twenty fears. Stiff," I get up and walk inside. Tobias places an arm on my shoulder encouragingly, lightly guiding me toward the chair. I sit down as he explains to me about the simulation, but I zone out and don't pay attention. I am shaking of fear. He brushes my hair off my neck, I tense, and he injects me with the serum. It doesn't feel like anything.
"Be brave. The first time is always the hardest." I close my eyes.
I open my eyes to find myself up high in the air, winds gusting at top speed. I steady my feet, so I don't fall off. I notice how high up I am. I start to breath heavily. It's just a simulation. Cowards would just jump off. Real Dauntless would walk to the other building.
I know what I have to do. I slowly walk on the high-wire, my feet nearly tripping over another. I keep my eyes up and stare at the building that resembles the one from Capture the Flag, but at least fifty stories up higher in the air.
My breath hitches when the heavy winds nearly blow me off, but my feet stay glued to the rope, slowly inching myself forward.
I climb over the balcony wall and land in the building.
The room fades black and I find myself in a small room.
Heights, check. Looks like the closet.
I stand as straight as a stick as the walls push me in, coming closer and closer. I close my eyes and calm my heartbeat. I breathe slowly and calmly as I can, and I crouch. I feel the surrounding walls pop out, and open my eyes to find myself in a dark room with a gun on a table and an Abnegation woman in front of me.
She doesn't seem to be trying to kill me…
Oh. I gulp.
This is my capacity to kill.
I hesitantly grab the gun, the distinctive metal feeling unsafe in my grasp, and hold it up against the innocent woman's forehead. In her eyes, I see myself, being held at gunpoint by Marcus. I shake my head. It's just a simulation, I tell myself. I pull the trigger.
The dead body slumping on the ground makes me shiver.
I gulp. I find myself in a room painted Abnegation grey.
No. I turn around to see Marcus, with black pits for eyes that look vicious and murderous. He pulls out his belt. "This is for your own good." No. I feel the tears clogging my eyesight, and the painful memories pound in my head. No, no, no. A dozen more Marcus's appear, and they all chant, "This is for your own good."
"No! No! NO!" I scream. I curl in a ball while they whip and lash at me.
And.
I.
Just.
Can't.
Think.
I sit there in my fetal position, crying and crying until my eyes run dry while the pain of continuous belts lash at me. I close my eyes and steady my breathing.
IT ISN'T REAL, IT ISNT REAL, I tell myself.
I open my eyes to find myself back in the room with Tobias. I still feel the lashes being struck against me. He looks shocked. My eyes are red and puffy from crying.
I curl up in a ball, hugging my legs, still feeling the lashes come at me deep within my burning skin, the same sensation I felt when Marcus would give me a lesson.
That's when I realize.
I only had four fears.
"Four fears?" He says, clearly shocked.
"Sorry for beating your record." I say. He smiles. "It doesn't matter. How long do you think you were in there?"
"A few hours?" I shrug.
"An hour and twenty-five minutes. With four fears. Great job, Four." I notice he didn't call me 'Stiff'. I smile.
"Is that my name now? I'd like it to be."
He smiles. "Sure." I wipe my eyes and we walk out of the room to find more than half the initiates asleep. They awake with the banging of the door.
"FINALLY Stiff!" Peter scowls.
"How many fears, Six?" Lauren asks, nodding towards me. I look at Tobias and nod.
"Four."
At this, all the initiates'-including Peter and his trios'-and Lauren's, jaws drop in shock.
"F-Four fears?" Lauren says quietly, like she just had seen a ghost. I nod and look at my feet.
"She has a name now; Four." Tobias says.
"Four broke the records for least fears in all of Dauntless!" Lauren exclaims. Everyone starts cheering, and Christina, Uriah, and Will hug me.
"That's amazing, Four! Only four fears?! That's awesome!" Uriah says.
I blush. "Thanks." Peter, Drew, and Molly glare at me in fury. I am still not stable after my landscape. Especially with my Marcus fear, or even any of them. Lynn, Marlene, and I exchange a smile.
Tobias takes us, and by us; the transfers, back to the dormitory. I step out into the hallway to talk to Tobias.
Via Visiting Day.
"Follow me," He says. I follow him until we are in a secluded hallway.
"There are no cameras here." He says, and raises an eyebrow.
I sigh. "I was sick that day," I say. I could never be Candor. He looks at me with a skeptical look in his eyes, but dismisses my poor excuse.
"You didn't see my fears, right?" I ask.
"No. I only counted how many and how long it takes. We will though, in stage three." I gulp.
I lean against the wall, just noticing that we are inches apart, just like on top of the Ferris wheel. I shiver at the thought of heights.
"I didn't know becoming Dauntless would be this hard," I say.
"It wasn't always like this, I'm told." He shifts his weight so that he is inches closer to me. I blush. "Being Dauntless, I mean."
"What changed?" I am suddenly curious.
"The leadership. The person who controls training sets the standard of Dauntless behavior. Six years ago, Max and the other leaders changed the training methods to make them more competitive and more brutal. They say it was supposed to test people's strength. That changed the priorities of Dauntless as a whole. Bet you can't guess who the leader's new protégé is."
Eric.
"So if you were ranked first in your initiate class, what was Eric's rank?"
"Second." That makes much more sense.
"So he was their second choice for leadership, and you were their first, but you choose being a Faction Ambassador?"
"Yes. What makes you say that I was their first choice?" He asks.
"The way Eric was acting at dinner the first night. Jealous, even though he has what he wants."
"True, I guess. I didn't want leadership because it'd be too much work, and I don't want them to change me." Change him?
"What do you mean?"
"Dauntless seems to be corrupted. All the factions." He whispers.
I sniffle. "Do I look like I've been crying?"
He jokingly leans close and pretends to inspect my puffy, tear-streaked face.
"No, Four," He leans away. "You look tough as nails." Tobias and I exchange a smile and he leaves.
I walk inside the dormitory, where the other initiates are either sitting on their beds, still scarred from fear landscapes, or changing. I notice Peter stand up on his bed and starts to read something out. Everyone sits up and pays attention. As I get closer, I notice the paper he holds has the Erudite symbol on it. This isn't good.
I recall what Marcus told Tobias about at our trip to the fence. "Erudite...Articles...Lies."
I walk up to Peter who is boastfully reading. "And therefore, we question the teachings on Abnegation, who should not be in charge of the government. We believe Marcus is abusive-" As soon as I hear those two words in the same sentence, I find myself holding Peter in a choke-hold against the wall.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I whisper in a calm, quiet intimidating voice.
He whimpers.
"Those essays are a load of crap anyways." Tobias emerges from the dormitory entry door. Tobias grabs the paper from Peter's palm and rips it up. I grin and release Peter from his choke-hold and he gasps for air, glaring at me.
I turn to Christina and Will who are holding back laughs. "Let's go eat some dinner." I say.
-o0o-
We sit with Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, and a few other Dauntless born initiates-two boys; one tall dark skinned with dark brown hair and chocolate eyes and one short one with tan skin, black hair, and warm, kind eyes that have the same spark of amusement all the time that he shares with Uriah-that Uriah introduced me to named Gabe and Joey.
Apparently, I am starting to intimidate everyone, because they were sweaty and nervous meeting, and I quote, 'The Dauntless prodigy with four fears that's also ranked first'.
Me having four fears apparently spread through the compound like wildfire, because people would congratulate me where ever I go. We are eating fried chicken and all conversations in the dining hall stop. I look up and see Max, Eric, and the other Dauntless leader I saw Zeke egg during Candor or Dauntless. I smirk at the thought. Max stands up on a table and pulls me up, so I stand beside him.
"Attention! We have heard news from Tobias, or Six, that one of the initiates broke the record of lowest fears of all time. Four here, who used to be named Stiff, is the first-placed initiate in the rankings for stage one, and she has four fears. She also demolished four punching bags during stage one, hit Bullseyes every time during guns and knives, and was brave enough to stand in front of a target while having knives thrown at her! I think that we can all agree, that Four is no longer a Stiff; but a Dauntless prodigy!"
The whole room is filled with loud whoops and cheers. I blush at the attention. I step down from the table and someone screams, "Hey, isn't that the chick who's the awesome singer?!" Max, Eric, and the other Dauntless leader look at me weird, and I blush and look at my feet.
"Candor or Dauntless, which was also the reason why you guys were egged…" They nod in understanding. I go back to my table who surround me with claps on the back that make me try not to wince, and cheers.
Uriah brings out Dauntless cake, and gives us all a piece. "I think we can all agree when we say that Four is truly Dauntless! To Four!"
"To Four!" My table shouts. I raise my cake up. "To all of us; to DAUNTLESS!" I say, trying to get the spotlight off me.
"TO DAUNTLESS!"
I am no longer Abnegation.
I am no longer Beatrice.
I am no longer Marcus's punching bag.
I am no longer 'Stiff.'
I am Four.
I am finally free.
I am Dauntless.
OMG I WAS LIKE SO EMOTIONAL DURING THIS CHAPTER! OUR STIFF IS NOW FOUR! YAY!
OC'S NEXT CHAPTER! THANK YOU TO THOSE WHO ENTERED IN OCS! I AM HAVING A TOTAL OF 3! YOU'LL HAVE SEE THE THIRD TOMORROW!
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