I stepped cautiously down each stair half expecting them to explode, or for me to fall.

It was just a precaution I always took.

I turned the corner and headed to the kitchen, the door was open slightly and noise was seeping through, there were kids talking and laughing all blissfully unaware of my existence.

I watched through the door for a little while, it seemed strange knowing that the people in the room next door had no idea I existed, it was nice and I almost felt bad for ruining their day with my arrival.

I said almost.

I breathed in a few times before entering, there was going to be a fight and I had already picked out who would start on me, the boy in the hoodie, the girl in the denim jacket or the girl with blue streaks in her hair, all of them could beat me I'd been in enough fights to know that.

I felt old scars making themselves known as I held my hand out and pushed open the door carefully, the room fell silent as I entered, I tried my best not to look scared by the group of kids all sat together.

I felt their eyes on me, they were all thinking the same thing, and they all wanted to know.

I didn't want them to know, I didn't want them to know about whom I was or why I was here.

All they needed to know was that I was here and I was staying whether they liked it or not, cause I didn't.

"look what the cat dragged in" said the girl id been most scared of, her blue eyes bored into me, her evil stare making me feel even more uncomfortable than I already did.

I looked at her blankly, if I could avoid trouble I would.

"well?" she snapped at me, I saw a younger kid flinch at the sound of her voice.

I stayed silent.

She stood up seemingly annoyed by my unwillingness to talk or fight back.

As she approached me she smirked and I decided that then was a good time to remember some of the tricks id learnt when I stayed at 3 rivers.

"cat got your tongue" she stated giving me a small shove.

"are you threatening me cause I'm a threat or because I'm the only one left you haven't already?" I asked quisically.

"do you want to get yourself hurt?"

"nah" though I knew I was definitely going to get punched.

"you wont have time to think about that if I get my way"

"and what's that?" I said still pretending to be unafraid.

"you don't want to know" she said through gritted teeth.

"do you?" I said for no apparent reason, her reaction though was not brilliant, I thought back to when I had been very small, the reaction of the big kids was either to look after me or to get me stealing or fighting for them, it was usually the latter and if I was lucky to come by a situation where that didn't come into it I would get myself involved in it anyway.

Now looking up at a girl slightly taller and a lot bigger than me I wondered why I wasn't already lying limp against the kitchen counter with a bleeding nose and an aching head.

"you should watch your mouth"

"I think that phrase would be trending if life was like twitter," I said it more to myself than at her but the thought was meant to annoy her and it did as she grabbed part of my t shirt and pulled me so my feet were slightly off the ground.

It was threatening, but the girl wasn't the worst of her sort.

"just get lost alright, there aint room for another care kid here, we don't want you,"

"well at least we are good on one thing then" I said kneeing her making her put me down with a little too much force than necessary before I grabbed an apple and left heading in the direction of the back door.

I sat on the bench in the bus shelter with my iPod, I listened to it when I wanted to feel like home, I wanted to be home, I wanted to see riley's reassuring smile whenever I stumbled, whenever I felt like I was falling, whenever mum and dad floated into my mind.

I wanted someone to tell me I was okay, I wasn't that bad, I could get better.

But I wasn't getting it, so I had to stop wasting my time, i had to not take anyone's shit and I had to keep thinking the things rileys friends had always said.

This shit is easy peasy pumpkin peasy pumpkin pie mother fucker.

Then I had to head back to elm tree house and face the fear.

But I wasn't going just yet, no id sit and stare at this apple a bit longer first, then id chuck it and maybe then id go.

Though I didn't get the chance to do any of those things, someone sat down the other end of the bench, I noticed them look at me before beginning to talk.

"you were expecting a fight" they stated, I laughed half heartedly and looked at them trying to figure out exactly where id seen them before.

"yeah well I nearly got one didn't I"

"nearly being the right word though yeah, don't mind electra she just don't like anyone new"

"I noticed" I said smiling lightly.

"mike wants you" he said after awhile, "he was lookin everywhere for ya"

"he can keep looking then" I said slightly irritated.

"you should go back, he'll only wanna tell you about why you're here and stuff wont he"

"I don't need telling why I'm here I'm not stupid" I snapped getting up and leaving.

"Its liam by the way" I heard him call after me, I didn't give him the satisfaction of knowing my name in return though.

I headed back to elm tree and stormed upstairs slamming the door.

It wasn't long before there was a small knock on her door, "hello?" I asked slowly still angry at liam for what hed said, it wasn't his fault, he was looking out for me, id forgotten about that aspect of life after Id left.

A woman with dark hair walked in and sat down next to me.

"hope" she smiled slightly, "you alright?"

I laughed again, it was a sarcastic and half hearted laugh too, "what do you think"

"no right"

"obviously"

"you miss your brother?" i looked at her as if to say are you stupid, "ill take that as a yes then," she said, I could tell she could tell she wasn't getting anywhere and I tried to turn on the get out of my life vibes that were already working in overload but for some reason she was persistent.

"look um,"

"tracy"

"tracy, thanks for the support or whatever but I don't need your help, please id much rather be alone" I said trying not to sound too harsh but it was hard, she had just waltzed right in as if everything was fine, well it wasn't, it wasn't it wasn't it wasn't, I wanted to run, but I couldn't, I had to stay here and wait.

I had to wait for riley.

He would come and get me, bring me home.

"okay, but mike wants you in his office and he wants to properly introduce you to the rest of the kids so when your ready just make your way down," she smiled reassuringly as she left my room.

I sighed, he's coming back, riley will come back, it wont be long, just smile, this shit is easy peasy pumpkin peasy pumpkin pie motherfucker.