Disclaymer: We all know that S. Meyer is the queen and I'm just some sort of creepy girl who's playing with Edward, and making him suffer :)

Summary: We've gone from perfect, to be nothing. I had everything, until she appeared. Until I decided to fool everything that I've ever known for a second with her. I'm Edward Cullen, and this is the story of how I destroyed my life.

A/N: My beta, Fear-The-Spork is awesome. Be jealous, haha :)

4.- Chapter

"Another night with her
But I'm always wanting you" Blink 182

Coming Undone

By Mommy's Bad Girl

August, 2009

"Argh…" I moan before I fall, exhausted, over her body.

Her hotness gives me chills and I want to cry at how bad her smells feels in my nose.

Everything is wrong.

So, so wrong. But I just can't help it.

Every single time that I see her... it's just impossible for me to stop.

I get up without talking and start looking for my clothes. I pull my pants up, still in silence. I can see Isabella from the corner of my eye, covering her naked chest with the bed sheets.

The white color of the fabric makes her look even more pale.

She looks horribly beautiful.

I'm disgusted with myself.

"Get dressed and go. I'll see you on Monday at the office," I murmur when I finish buttoning my shirt. I pick up my BlackBerry and my heart jumps.

5 missed calls. From my wife.

She have never called me so much in a single night.

This is weird... so, so weird.

My mind goes wild with what could have happened, and when my finger is about to press the "Call" button, she speaks:

"Edward?" She whispers and I look at her.

"What?" I answer. I put the BlackBerry in my pants pocket and I look at her with a poisonous face.

"When are you going to tell her?" And I can't help the laugh that bubbles out of me. She's so... stupid.

"Isabella..." And I have to take some air to not laugh again "If you ever think, for one moment, that I am going to leave MY wife for YOU... you're even more stupid that I gave you credit for. You're not that important, nor that perfect."

And with that I turn around and I get the fuck out of that hotel room. I want to go home and hug my wife. I want to tell her that I love her and tell her that I'm sorry, even if she doesn't get what I am apologizing for.

But I know that I'm not going to do it... because I lied to Isabella. I lied, because she's getting so fucking important in my life.

So much that it fucking scares me.

So much that I don't get it.

I look at the clock and it says 12:30 AM, and all of the sudden I feel so tired.

So tired that I don't even realize which date just passed 30 minutes ago.

So tired that when I get to the car I totally forget about the red gift box that it's on the back seat.

So tired that I don't give a crap if I'm destroying my marriage.

…

As soon as I open the door to my home I know that something is wrong. All the lights are out.

It doesn't look perfect.

It doesn't smell perfect.

There's no one.

I decide to go to the kitchen first, and I see the dinner room as I past it. There are candles, and cold food served. In the middle of the table, there's an envelope.

And then... I remember.

And I want to punch myself in that instant.

My wife has told me about this the day before. She said that this was our aniversary and that it was important. She said that she had to give me some really good news.

And I didn't come... Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. I've never done this.

I've never ditched one of our dinners... and I didn't even call.

I fucking love her and I didn't even call.

I've always loved her. She's perfect.

She didn't deserve any of this.

What did I do?... God, WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?

I take the envelope and I open it...

And my hands shake when I read it, and the paper falls out of my hands and hits the floor.

No.

Yes.

No.

Yes.

This is not happening.

My life couldn't be any more perfect... because I'll ruin it completely.

Without thinking I run like crazy to the stairs and then to our room and I find her there.

She's sleeping on fetal position, and even with her eyes closed I can see her tears still spreading all over the pillows.

She's beautiful. And perfect. And incredible.

The problem is that, for a really unknown reason, she wasn't enough.

And I felt so shitty for it.

Without giving it a second thought, I shake her and she open her beautiful eyes. Her beautiful and full of tears green eyes, and they're looking at me with sadness.

Uncomfortable minutes pass. No one says anything and then she pouts and she has to breath to say her next words.

"You... forgot," And her voice is tinny.

And then, my heart breaks because it's true.

Because of my mistakes I had ruined something that could have been so perfect.

"I'm sorry. So sorry. Please... please forgive me," I whisper against her hair while I hug her, and I want to kiss her tears away.

Even crying she looks so fucking perfect.

"I love you. I love you. Please, forgive me. I love you," I say over and over again, but she doesn't say anything.

I put my hands against her belly and I sigh.

"He or she is going to be perfect and I'm going to fix this," I say and she nods.

But she doesn't say anything and her silence it's killing me.

She knows that something is wrong.

And I was a coward for not telling her that our perfection didn't exist anymore.

I was a monster.

"I love you," I tell her and I feel that something, inside of me, dies a little bit.

And the worst part is that... those three little words that I wanted to hear didn't come back at me.