A/N: I have returned home, and now I have more painful insanity for you.
Thank you to Cutiepie120048, JinkiesCrown, i love pink, InsanityOwl, RMXStudio, and guest for reviewing!
Title: Sweet Dreams
Author: liketolaugh
Rating: T
Pairings: None
Genre: Angst/Tragedy
Warnings: Character death, insanity
Summary: Allen was the least stable to begin with, so it was no surprise that he went first. And really, it was a very high-stress job, and a lot of the exorcists were just too young. It was no surprise that they went mad.
Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.
"What the fuck did you do to my apprentice?"
There was a hand on Allen's back. He was trembling, shaking his head, tears pouring down his face as his breath hitched fearfully, arms over his head in a protective gesture. No. No, no, no, no, no.
"General Cross-"
"No, what the actual fuck did you do to Allen?"
Link sounded a little alarmed. Allen let out a soft whimper and turned his head away, into Lavi's hand, which was stroking through his hair, the other on his back.
"C'mon, Allen, calm down, buddy, no one's going to hurt you, you're alright…"
Lavi often sounded sad when he was speaking to Allen now. Allen could imagine the worried expression on his face, and he'd see it if he looked up, but no. No, he didn't want to. He didn't want to!
"General Cross, I must request that you calm down. You're frightening Allen, and if he gets much worse, he's going to start screaming."
There was a thump and a sigh, heavy and irritated. Allen whimpered again but opened his eyes to stare at Lavi, who was staring back, green eye dark again.
The room was wrecked. There was stone crumbled everywhere. Miranda sat and stared at the table, and Lenalee flinched, tears running down her face and terror in her eyes. Kanda, twitching for his sword, glared at a man with long red hair, who-
Allen slammed his eyes shut again, and a high whine erupted from his throat. Lavi's hand returned, fingers in his hair. It felt nice, and Allen's breathing steadied a little. Lavi was nice to him. Lavi had always been nice to him.
"I was gone for one year. What the hell happened?"
"The Noah happened. It is uncertain what they did, but Allen cannot stand close contemplation of either the Millennium Earl or the Fourteenth, and the Fourteenth no longer appears to be present."
"..."
"General Cross, do you have an idea of what may have happened?"
"Fuck, I'm not gonna tell you. But yeah. I think I know a little. Should've guessed."
There was a snort. Allen winced and covered his ears, shaking. Master was dead. His master was dead, and he wasn't coming back! He was never coming back! The dead didn't come back to life, it didn't… it didn't work that way...
"You know, I spent a damn load of time keeping the little idiot from ending up like his father. Took every possible measure I could think of. Only the Vatican could undo that in a year."
"We all know how you hate the Vatican, Cross. Do you know anything that could help?"
"We're getting kind of desperate here."
Allen had forgotten that Reever was there. How silly of him. His breathing was even and slow now, but he still didn't want to open his eyes. He was dreaming, and his dreams always turned out to be nightmares. Nightmares…
Maybe the lullaby…
He hummed softly, under his breath, a tune that he remembered from… somewhere. He heard a curse and paused to laugh a little; Reever overreacted to the funniest things.
"Shit, uh, Lavi, could you-?"
"Yeah, right. Hey, Allen, are you up to helping Lenalee?"
Allen opened his eyes. The window was cracked, but the sun was shining outside. The cracks reminded him of the ones in the walls. He looked at Lavi, who was looking at him a little desperately, and then at Lenalee, who was trembling and covering her ears, crying and cowering.
He nodded, face melting into concern and hum fading in his throat. He heard several sighs of relief, and shifted over to sit beside Lenalee, putting one gloved hand on her shoulder. She flinched away violently with a terrified whimper. Her eyes were wide and violet, so violet that Allen could drown in them, drown and remember butterflies and pressure and a hand around his heart.
But instead he leaned forward and hugged her, and she flinched and whimpered and thrashed, and he murmured in her ear until she calmed, crying against him, still shaking.
"Don't want… don't want…"
Lenalee was scared. She was scared she would lose everything again. Allen murmured reassurances until she wasn't so scared, but he knew that nothing could really soothe that fear, because, well.
She kind of was. Losing everything, he meant. Because her friends were everything to her, and they were falling to pieces around her.
"What was that?"
"Which part?"
Reever sounded bitter. He shouldn't sound bitter. Allen was concerned, but Lenalee needed him more right now. He'd talk to Reever later.
"The humming. Sure, it's his song, but what the fuck is so bad about it?"
"Allen only hums that melody when he feels especially bad. If we let him stay like that for too long, he starts to scream."
"Yeah. And once Allen starts screaming, then everything goes to hell. About the only one who doesn't react is Miranda. Have you ever tried getting a terrified Lenalee down from a roof? It's not easy."
"Fuck. It's a nuthouse. Literally."
"Please don't."
Link sounded like he was in pain. Allen rubbed Lenalee's back, and she stopped crying but still shook against him, shaking her head, eyes closed in fear.
"No, I'm sorry, I'll do anything…"
Bargaining never works, Lenalee. He wondered what she saw.
"Is everything alright in here?"
Allen glanced up and smiled in weary greeting. Komui looked worried; he always did lately. His eyes found Lenalee and saddened, and Allen let his smile fade. Nothing would comfort Komui, he knew. Nothing but Lenalee getting better.
And Lenalee wasn't going to get better.
"As well as can be expected, Chief. Allen's got Lenalee well in hand, if you're worried about it. I'm not sure Allen's acknowledged Cross' existence properly yet, though."
"Fair enough."
Komui sounded sad again. Allen sighed resignedly.
"Have you updated General Cross on the situation yet?"
"There's more?"
"Not yet."
Allen let his gaze wander again. There were long tables, half-filled, spread around the cracked-stone room. People in tan cloaks stared and whispered until Reever glared at them harshly, and then they stopped. A man with pink braids met his gaze and offered a sad smile; Jerry. Allen smiled back and let his gaze fall. He wanted to count the cracks in the floor, but there were too many. Some of them had blood in them.
"Several of the Noah had been killed, but as you can see, we've taken… heavy losses."
"Heavy losses? I think you're understating a little there, CROW."
Link looked frustrated. Allen gave him a concerned look, then let his gaze drift away. Lavi was trying to persuade Kanda to eat some of his ignored food. Kanda didn't seem to have noticed yet. Allen got Kanda's attention with a hand on his wrist and nodded at the food, causing Kanda to finally notice it and eat it. Lavi gave him a smile of gratitude, and Allen smiled brightly back.
He didn't feel like speaking, though. Couldn't think of any words. He'd do that part later.
"It's not a sure thing that we'll win, General. But one way or another… it's coming to a close."
"Does Allen even know he killed Tyki?"
Allen's head shot up, eyes wide.
Killed… Tyki? Tyki.
Tyki with the sly grin, Tyki with the wide eyes, bloody mouth, Tyki torn apart, terror and fear and blood and-
Allen's face twisted, and tears welled up in his eyes, and he screamed.
Hands took his shoulders and Lenalee wrenched away and Allen shook his head, Tyki with his hand around his heart, Tyki with a sad smile, Tyki with a wink, and his sword in Tyki's torso, his blood on his hands, and he couldn't hear anything and there was a sword at Cross' throat and Cross was shoving it away to lunge for Allen-
"Calm the fuck down, idiot apprentice!"
Allen stopped. His hands were over his ringing ears. He hiccuped, tears in his eyes.
Cross' hands were rough and familiar on his shoulders. Kanda was being pinned down, flailing with mad rage, sword out of reach. Lenalee had fled to an upper corner of the room and was trembling; Komui was heading over there already, shaking and sad.
"M-master," he whispered, and his gaze landed on Cross' mask and lingered. Cross huffed and pushed his hair away, letting go of Allen.
"You're such a pain in my ass, idiot apprentice."
"They can't do this anymore, Chief."
Reever sounded pained and angry. Allen took a deep breath. There were cracks in the walls, with shadows and looming creatures from Allen's mind. Lenalee was crying. Lavi had his head in his hands. Kanda had fallen still and was panting like a mad dog. Miranda did nothing but stare at the table with wide, haunted eyes, fingers twitching spasmodically.
"I know."
Okay, so now Cross has returned, awesome. In case it wasn't obvious, a lot more time's passed than Allen's registering, and there's been more than one battle since last chapter, but they're still in HQ. Okay? Thanks for reading and please review!