Disclaymer: We all know that S. Meyer is the queen and I'm just some sort of creepy girl who's playing with Edward, and making him suffer :)

Summary: We've gone from perfect, to be nothing. I had everything, until she appeared. Until I decided to fool everything that I've ever known for a second with her. I'm Edward Cullen, and this is the story of how I destroyed my life.

A/N: My beta, my beta, RA-RA-RA! Thank you "Fear-The-Spork" :3

5.- Chapter

"What do you do when you know something's bad for you
And you still can't let go?" Christina Aguilera.

Coming Undone

By Mommy's Bad Girl.

December, 2009

My hand strokes her belly. Her incredible, big, round and beautiful belly.

It's perfect, just as I'd always imagined.

We're in one of the ultrasound scans and today is the day that they're going to tell us the sex of the baby.

I hope it's a boy... but I know that if it were a girl, I'll get crazy.

I kiss her lips and I feel relaxed. I know everything is going to be OK, or at least 'til the doctor's appointment is over and I have to go back to work.

To her.

My wife feels my anxiety and one of her hands touch my cheek.

"Calm down... it looks like you don't even want to be here," she says playfully, but I can hear the meaning clearly in her words. She seriously does think that I don't want to be here and that I regret the pregnancy, the marriage, everything... when in reality I regret the affair that I've been having this past couple of months.

I should have never slept with Isabella in the first place, but I can't stop. She was like my own personal drug.

And I feel so bad about it.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else, love," I answer and I squeeze her hand.

She knows that something is wrong, I can see it in her eyes.

She knows about my long work hours, about how I don't touch her anymore because I feel disgusted with myself.

She knows how I fantasize about... having sex with another woman. Because it's not 'making love'... I just fucked Isabella. That was my modus operandi. No one, except for my wife, will be good enough to make love with.

But what I was doing was even worse.

"Are you ready to know your baby's sex?" the doctor asks and I nod, happy.

Because for the first time in a long long time I feel happy for something that can't be touched by my mistakes.

Because for the first time I can smile without feeling like an hypocrite.

And when I see the little form on the screen and I see its tiny feet and its tiny hands and it's little head, I swear to God that I'm going to destroy every single thing that could hurt it.

And when I see my wife's happy tears when the doctor tell us that it's a boy, I promise to end everything with Isabella.

And when I feel my own tears rolling down my cheeks, I know that this time I'll do it.

Because I need it, because I have to do it.

Because if I don't do it... I'll lose something even more important that my perfectionism.

I just hope that it's not too late to fix this.