Special Author's Note: This is a very special author's note and an apology from the bottom of my heart to all my faithful readers. I realize it has been nearly two years since my last update to Clannad: Book 2, and I give my very deepest apologies to all of you who kept up with the series.

Now that I have returned to the mix of things, expect regular updates every day if possible, or weekly if things don't work out as planned. Just please be patient, as Book 2 was and is, a very large project to handle. I know that the web pages make the chapters look smaller than they are, but on paper, I have over one hundred pages written. It is a very daunting task to transcribe the written word to text format.

And so, without further adue, Tomoya's arc begins...

PART 2

-8-8-8-

Tomoya

Chapter 5

Three Years Later

What is my purpose? It's been three years since Nagisa died. I go through life, day after day. I do the same things, day after day. I work, go home, eat and sleep. I try not to look at the empty fouton next to mine. There is a void in my heart that cannot be filled. A part of me was brutally torn away. A part of me died along with her that night. I no longer speak. Ever. Not unless I have to.

I only keep on living because it is too much trouble to die.

I have considered suicide, but my beliefs deem that a mortal sin.

I am trapped in my black and white world, devoid of happiness and joy.

Without my Nagisa, what is my purpose?

I have sunk into a bottomless pit of despair and depression. My world is dark and unforgiving, relentless in its torments. It was a few weeks after Nagisa's death that I realized...

The nightmares... they had stopped. Two months later, they returned.

Black dreams. Horrible visions of despair. Nothingness. Sorrow. Death. Disturbing images of pain and suffering.

I felt like I had lost my sanity.

I drank away my pain. I risked alcohol poisoning. Better to kill myself indirectly than commit outright suicide. I knew my friends worried.

I didn't care anymore.

Why couldn't they get a move on instead of just troubling me? I ignored them. They eventually left, always to return.

Three years after Nagisa's death, I just don't care anymore. I am already dead. Why am I still here? I asked myself that everyday. Because I didn't have the guts to kill myself?

No.

Because I was too scared to run?

Possibly.

Was something holding me back?

Maybe.

What? I had no answer.

"Why am I here?" I mumbled. My speech was slurred.

"Why?!" I shouted. Everybody in the bar jumped. I hunched over, not caring that they stared. Go ahead, stare all you want. The bartender took my shot glass and cleaned it.

"More," I demanded. She shook her head.

"You'll get alcohol poisoning."

I scowled and she smiled. How dare she smile. What was to smile about?

"What?" I said.

"You look like somebody I used to attend school with," she replied, cleaning another glass.

"Oh yeah? What school?"

"Hikarisaka Private High," she answered. I raised an eyebrow.

"Who'd you go with?"

"Tomoya Okazaki," she replied.

"T-Tomoya... Oka-Okazaki?" I whispered. I looked at the woman before me. There was no mistake.

"Y-Yukine? Yukine M-Miyazawa?"

She paused.

"How... Tomoya? Is that you?"

Yukine set the glass down and leaned forward, gazing at me.

"What do you care? I'm just another drunk in your bar," I mumbled. Yukine gazed at me, sadness in her eyes.

"No, you're my friend," she said. "Tell me what happened."

I looked at the polished wood bar. "No."

Yukine backed off.

"I respect that. Just... just don't hurt yourself," she said as I walked out. I stopped.

"Whatever."