I sat alone in the grass outside staring at a blackbird that was singing in the trees, I was deep in thought, remembering why I was here and going through it for a loop hole that would get me home.

There wasn't one, the flash backs that overwhelmed each night were enough to get me here without them being half real.

I trudged home from school, a four year old, alone and unwanted, the front door was unlocked and the stench of alcohol and drugs was overwhelming.

I was silent as crept to my bedroom, but silence wasn't enough.

Dad was awake and waiting, waiting for me.

"you didn't wash up" he slurred, I looked up wide eyed.

"I'm sorry daddy" I said tears already forming in my eyes, I tried to stop them, but daddy noticed.

"what have I told you about crying, crying is a weakness" he said, I could barely make out what he said but I knew the next sentence too well.

"a weakness you must erase" I said bracing myself for the hard cold pain about to make contact with my face.

Daddy raised his fist and I winced in pain as it hit my tiny body full speed ahead.

The blackbird sang in the tree, I half laughed, my only comfort was a blackbird.

The police officers who smiled down at me scared me, I shivered as they lead me to a man, Mike.

He took my hand and hugged me when I began to cry and say I missed my mum and dad.

He took me to a room, it had rainbow striped walls and a carpet with clouds on it.

"welcome home hope" he smiled patting my head as he tucked me in for a good nights sleep.

But I had nightmares, and I was too scared to sleep.

The next morning, Mike woke me up, carried me downstairs to an office, three people looked at me and smiled, one was a boy maybe ten years old, with his parents.

They were looking to adopt because Riley needed a little sister.

And Riley chose me.

I felt tears in my eyes, but the blackbird in the tree had me in a trance, I laughed at myself cause the only thing that was stopping my tears was a blackbird in a tree.

"hey Riles, Hopey how ya doing bud?" smiled Charlie, Riley had taken me on tour, it was late, I was tired, the stars were in the sky and his friends were already beginning to feel like brothers.

Except Joey, Joey didn't like me that much, I could tell.

I stayed away from him, sitting on Charlie's knee at tea whilst Riley got me some milk and a rusk.

Riley took out his guitar and him and Charlie lulled me to sleep, "let go o' your heart let go o' your head, feel it now, let go o' your heart, let go o' your head and feel it now, Babylon, Babylon ,Babylon."

For the first time in my life I smiled as I fell into a sleep filled with dreams a 6 year old should be dreaming.

I twiddled a blade of grass with my fingers as I contemplated hiding, but the blackbirds song was hypnotic, mesmerising, like Charlie's voice. I laughed, the only thing stopping me from running was a blackbird singing in a tree.

"alright kiddo?" asked Charlie, I was sat at the end of Riley's bunk with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyed.

"why doesn't Joey like me? what did I do wrong?" I sniffled, Charlie took a seat next to me, and looked down at me sympathetically.

"what do you mean, I'm sure he doesn't hate you" he said slightly confused, you could always tell if Charlie was confused, it showed in his voice, he slowed down towards the end of the sentence and left the last word hanging in the air.

I rolled the sleeves of riley hoodie up slowly not looking up to see his sympathetic expression turn to one of worry and slight anger.

"hope, how did you get those?" he asked slowly but this time it was clear he wasn't confused in the slightest and he knew full well how I had gotten those 3 red scratches across my right wrist, he knew full well why my arms were bruised and battered and it made him sick.

"please don't tell anyone, I don't want to make you not be friends" I sniffled some more, to my surprise Charlie pulled me into a brotherly hug and stroked the back of my hair as I cried.

"does Riley know?"

I shook my head and burst into tears, "you cant tell him, he will fall out and argue with Joey and I don't want to ruin your band" I cried.

"you haven't ruined nothing" he smiled at me dabbing away at my tears tucking me into bed singing as I fell asleep, only to be awoken 3 hours later when Rie and Joey got back.

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, my hands shook as I rolled up the sleeves of my hoodie and my mind told me to scream out in pain as my fingers traced the white scars that ran deep into my memorys and the source of so many nightmares.

How could he do this to me?

Why did he send Joey?

Did he send Joey?

Was Joey lying?

I had to get out of here, I had to get out of here quick, I had to block out the blackbirds song, it hurt to much to remember, I had to find Riley, I had to ask him about Joey, I thought he'd left? I guess not.

But I as I stood, shaking listening, I laughed, cause I hadn't screamed, I hadn't ran, I hadn't cried, and the only thing I had to thank was a little blackbird singing blissfully unaware that I was dependant on them and only them for those few minuets when I was on the edge.

Just a tiny little black bird, a tiny little blackbird that was about to be killed.