A/N: Hello! *bright* I almost killed Cross this chapter. But then I decided it was stupid to bring him back and then instantly kill him.
Thank you to WordsLeftBehind, i love pink, InsanityOwl, Yami-The Lord of Darkness, and A fan for reviewing!
Title: Sweet Dreams
Author: liketolaugh
Rating: T
Pairings: None
Genre: Angst/Tragedy
Warnings: Character death, insanity
Summary: Allen was the least stable to begin with, so it was no surprise that he went first. And really, it was a very high-stress job, and a lot of the exorcists were just too young. It was no surprise that they went mad.
Disclaimer: I only wish I owned D. Gray-man.
The only people in the entire town, Allen noted, were the Black Order's people. Everyone else was gone. Like a crime scene. Like a graveyard.
A little boy was screaming, and he could hear buildings breaking, and the pained screams of other people. Allen watched the little boy scream and flail and knock people into walls with more strength than Allen could imagine fitting in such a little body. Many of those people fell and did not rise.
Red smears decorated the ground, and Allen could see Link pursuing the screaming boy, not quite able to catch up. Allen's gaze drifted. There was dusty glass in the windows, some of which were broken. Stretches of black stars decorated some parts of the ground. More glass glittered on the ground, some nestled in the creases of empty sets of clothing.
Through the windows, Allen could see shattered tea sets, broken plates, upturned chairs and tables… There were people here once, he thought. But not anymore. Now there was just the Order. There was Lenalee, clinging to a chimney so hard her fingers bled, face hidden in the brick and crying.
There weren't very many people at the Order anymore. Lots of workers. But not very many people.
Allen couldn't move. The screaming reached into his muscles and held them still, and he was staring forward and shaking slightly, breathing short and quick. Kanda was in front of him, tense as a piano wire, sword out, but he didn't seem to know what to do, so he just stood there, looking around, angry at everything. Kanda was always so angry. So angry.
He'd been angry then, too. Chained to the wall. Pulling and yelling. He'd sounded so scared, Allen recalled dimly. So scared. Furious, too. Panicked. What could panic Kanda?
Allen couldn't remember.
It was strange, though, because he knew he'd been there, too. And the Earl. The Earl had been… had been looming in front of him, he remembered. With that big grin, and then he'd… he'd pulled off his face. And then Allen couldn't remember what happened next. But…
He thought he'd been screaming. Maybe. But it was hard to remember.
Allen glanced up and noticed that the screaming had stopped, so he could clearly hear Lenalee's hysterical sobs. Link was leaning over the little boy… oh, that was Timothy. What was wrong with Timothy? Why was Link binding him? Did Nyne know about this?
Why was Link wearing that face? It was too sad. Too angry.
On legs that didn't seem to want to hold him, Allen stuttered forward, ignoring Kanda's angry grab for him. He let his legs fold once he reached Link and knelt beside him, knees slamming into the ground.
"Where's Nyne?" he asked Link.
Timothy was panting. There were tear tracks on his face. His eyes were unfocused. Allen tilted his head, brow creased, and he reached forward to brush his fingers across the boy's forehead. Timothy jerked away and Allen heard another scream, but it was short.
Allen's fingers wouldn't stay still. He felt cold. Maybe he should go inside soon; he was shivering.
"She's dead."
Allen lifted his head to look at Link. "Where's Nyne?" he repeated. His voice sounded high and strange. His mouth was dry. His fist clenched.
Link looked at him. His brow was furrowed; he looked tired and angry and now worried, too. His breathing was heavy.
"C-calm down, Allen. Focus on me and take a deep breath."
"Where's Cross?" Allen asked. His voice was unsteady and wavering.
"He's coming, Allen. Just keep calm. Lavi is going to get him."
Allen's voice heightened. He sounded so childish. He'd have to fix that later. Wasn't supposed to sound childish. "W-where's Mana? Link, where's Mana?"
Link was staring at him. Allen's face was wet, and he was shaking, and it was hard to breath.
"Where's Mana?" Allen repeated, louder. He wanted Mana. "I know he's alive. You can't hide him from me anymore! You can't hide him, I know he's not dead!"
He remembered now. He remembered, and he couldn't breathe.
The Millennium Earl was Mana. The Millennium Earl was Mana, and he'd killed Johnny and ripped Neah from Allen's head and left Allen behind, because he didn't love Allen at all. Just Neah. Just the Noah in his head.
A scream boiled in Allen's chest, and a whine erupted from his throat, and Link reached forward. His hand landed on Allen's shoulder and he was pulled to his chest just as he began to scream, hands going up to clutch his hair.
He didn't want to remember, he didn't want to remember, he wanted to forget, forget, forget…
Link was touching him and Allen was crying and Link was trying to be Mana but he wasn't, he wasn't, Mana was a lie and Allen was a lie and there was nothing left, no one, just a little boy flailing in the darkness and Allen didn't want it, didn't want it.
He couldn't breathe and his vision was going dark. Lenalee was crying, and there were pounding footsteps. Allen could still hear screaming and sobs from fallen people, calls for help and for medics, Komui calling to Lenalee, Lavi yelling, Kanda struggling.
"Idiot apprentice, don't you fucking dare pass out!"
Allen passed out.
Link couldn't sleep.
He'd paced, he'd read, he'd filled out the most boring paperwork he could find, and he was shaking with exhaustion, but he couldn't sleep. He wondered if the exorcists were starting to rub off on him.
Soon, the exorcists would start to wake from their nightmares, and screaming would fill the house serving as Headquarters. And then Lavi would start to try and calm Lenalee and Timothy, and Cross would come to put Allen back down because Allen was at his most together when Cross was around. Kanda would burst in and see Allen calming down and that would hopefully keep him from trying to kill them, but he wouldn't go back to sleep for the rest of the night, so he'd fall asleep the next day. Cross would drink himself to sleep, Lavi would stick around to watch over them, and Link would go back to trying to sleep.
Link knew the drill by now. They all did.
The exorcists were looking sicker every day. They weren't getting better, they were getting worse, and the worst thing - the worst thing - was corralling them into battle, hating himself for it every minute, and then watching them.
If this is what it took to save the world, it might not be worth it after all. But that wasn't his decision to make.
Distantly, he heard Timothy scream, and then Lenalee. Beside him, Allen sat up, wide-eyed and crying and shaking, and footsteps pounded in the halls.
They couldn't do this for much longer, and neither could Link.
Well, that was fun for everyone involved. Obviously, we're starting to draw to a close now, and as it turns out, Link is not much more helpful a narrator than Allen is. Also, we find out what broke Allen and Kanda. *bright smile* Thanks for reading, and please review!