Can I kill him? A burst of hot energy courses through my body at the thought. The thought is intoxicating. Kill him. Yes. Then, I'd be free. Free of my weaknesses, free of my past, free of everything I hate in myself. A grin stretches across my face and my shaking increases. I raise my gaze to him. He stares back. He does not look worried, just unhappy. Doesn't matter, though, since he'll be dead in a second.

I lift a trembling hand and focus my energy.

I will kill him. I will kill him now. I will…

I lower my hand, the shaking growing worse. My ears ring and I crumple to the ground. The energy I gathered fizzles away. I cannot kill him. I…I cannot…

Why?

Why is this happening?

I force my head upwards. I get a good look at that…that…burden. That weakness. He kneels down next to me and wraps his arms around my head.

"I hate you," I growl, unable to free my head from him. I am too weak around him. Why can't I kill him? Why can't I hurt him? Why can't I stop him? I don't want him here. I don't want him anywhere near me. I want him out. Dead. Gone.

Gone, gone, gone…

The word sticks with me. Earlier, I concluded that he could not stay in my head. That was a blanket statement. A conclusion I drew from a series of events. I hadn't considered it in terms of a solution. I wonder if I can actually push him out of my head. Pry him away from myself and free myself from his ever-watching eyes and the niggling feeling that I'm doing something wrong.

If I can push him away, I won't need to worry about the past. It can't hurt me if I cut my ties with it. I will be safe. Safe from pain and the past and everyone who thinks they can hurt me. Safe from that song.

I bite my hand and drive the melody from my brain. No, no, no, no, no! I can't think about it. I can't. The more I think about it, the stronger he gets.

I take a deep breath and clear my mind. It is a struggle. Memories from the past, song notes, words, they all fight to stay in my head. I can't let them stay. I can't.

I force the song away. I bury it away, just as I've done for the better part of a century. I bury them away along with the sadness and the pain, but no! No, he tightens his grip, as he can prevent me from…as if…as if he's stronger than me. As if he can bring the song back and force the sadness on me again. As if hugging…no, no, as if tightening his arms around…It's hugging, it is, I know what it is, I can't forget it, why? Why can't I forget it? Why does he keep doing this to me? The last person to…no, no, that hurts. It's painful. I can't remember her. No, not now. Not now that I've buried the song again. Not now that I have a plan.

He's not loosening his grip. He's hugging me, saying, "Please remember me. Please."

I can't remember him. I won't remember him. He's not what I am anymore. I destroyed him. I pushed him aside. I got rid of him. He's not me. I won't acknowledge him. I can't! I won't!

"You are okay…you are fine. This is normal." He's talking. Why won't he shut up? I hate him. I hate each word that comes out of his mouth because it's a filthy lie and he's just messing with me! I'm not normal! I'm broken. I'm corrupted by…by that song, and these memories, and by him. Always by him. I can't let him win. I can't let my weakness win. Not again. Not after Earth. Not after those children made…no. I have to stop him. I have to stop the song. If I can't stop it, I will never get him out of my head and I'll always be…always be…

"I…I'm….I'm sick!" I say, letting the words my mind saved from years ago return and fill it. His grip loosens and his ears go flat against his head. My head throbs. I hate these words. I hate the words that shaped my life. But, I can't stop. I can't ignore them. They made me shut him out years ago, and, as much as they hurt, they will get the job done again. I see that he hates them, too. I see the pain on his face and I take strength from it. "S-sick and…and twisted and…and corrupted by them."

I am? My ears twitch and I decide, right now, that there is no connection between me and him. He is a useless weight I used to carry around. He is not me. He isn't. He's not part of me, or close to me or anything with me. He is weakness and I refuse to be weak any longer.

He lets go of me and stares. I keep talking. "Worthless, worthless little one!" He opens his mouth, but I cut him off. "Does it hurt to wake up alone? To wait by the door for…for someone who…for someone who abandoned m-you?"

He takes a step back, then another. He does not stop looking at me. I don't care anymore. I am on my feet. My head's buzzing. My balance is off. I am on my feet. That is all that matters. That's it. "She left you. She…she left you alone, weak, useless, a-and you are pathetic, useless, impractical because you won't stop thinking that she loves you!"

I stare down at him, at the tears in his eyes, and I pause. I do not pause for long enough to question my decisions. The time for second-guessing is over. I need him gone. I need him out. I can't stand his pain. I gather all my strength and, with more mental effort than I've used in all my life, I push. Him. Out.