Blogs are awesome. Think about it; any random jackass with a modem can post whatever he, she, or it feels like on the internet for people to read. You don't have to go through editors, censors, or any other middlemen, just write and post.

But that doesn't mean we can't craft good blogs, now can we? And that's what I want to help you with today; writing quality blogs. I could give you the usual tips like remember that spellchecking won't make you look incoherent, and technical stuff like that, but I'm gonna give you the most important thing; how to separate yourself from the rest of the flock.

Okay, yeah, being grammatically correct is good, but is your content going to bring in visitors? And don't blog about the same shit everyone else does. If your blog entry begins like the examples, then you've already lost.

Example 1: "Today at work some mom's kid started throwing a shitfit cuz they didn't have the exact Optimus Prime toy he wanted, so I told the kid to shut up, but then the mom completely flipped her shit on me acting like I was being inconsiderate, that I wasn't the father, do you know how hard it is to be a single mom, and I was just like ma'am, you shouldn't be taking yer kid to a public place if he's gonna act like that, oh wait, of course your son is a psycho just look at you; they finally left. I'm awesome at customer service like that."

Bitching about work gets old really fast.

Example 2: "Today my home country signed some groundbreaking legislature. Unfortunately, this legislature will signify the death knell for my country and decent human beings everywhere."

Writing on the political fringe might entertain some people, but it won't entertain me.

Example 3: "OHMIGAWD OHMIGAWD OHMIGAWD OHMIGAWD OHMIGAWD DEAN HODKINS IS PLAYING IN MY HOMETOWN! OHMIGAWD OHMIGAWD OHMIGAWD OHMIGAWD OH MY GII-YAAAAA-AAAAAAAD!"

Obsessing over celebrities . . . no, just . . . no.

Talk about something unique, something you know about, and are passionate about. Otherwise, you'll end up looking like a loser on the internet.

But now, a response!

"Dear Baddest Bitch of all BlazBlue

No, that was not an insult... Okay, I lied, it was more of a complinsult. Y'know, a compliment that also works like a insult."

I'm quite familiar with how these work. A lot of Blaz Blue characters are well-versed in the art of insulting, including complinsulting, believe me.

"Alright, onto my questions.

First: Y'know the "Help me, Professor Kokonoe", right? The one where you help the player was misfortunate enough as to end up with a bad ending with a character, and needs help to GET that true ending? When you consult the character in question, exactly how the hell do you get them into your dimension? Or... Lock them in, as you had done Trollzuma- I mean, Terume-, Damnit, I mean Hazuma! Damn you internet memes!"

(frustrated sigh) I don't know how many times I have to say this, but those segments were not canon, I. E. They did not happen. Just like this blog. Also, why bash memes? They become memes for a reason, you know.

"Second: If that Pompous Gothical Loli Girl is so low on your shitlist, why the hell do you pick on her? Wouldn't it only be natural to piss off the guys who are higher up on, as I humorously call call your Shitlist, The Hate Tier? To those on the God Tier of her list, I can only say that it sucks to be you!"

Heh heh heh heh, God Tier on the Shitlist, I like the sound of that! Okay, yeah, it's pretty obvious that Trollzama is the God Tier of my Shitlist, but, you see, even though he deserves all the hatred in the world, sometimes, hating on him gets tiresome after a while. After that, you start hating on people lower on the Shitlist, just because it'll give you something different to do. Oh, speaking of which, believe it or not, Litchi actually ranks lower on the Shitlist than Rachel. I mean, she did follow my every command at one point; that's gotta account for something.

And I'm pretty sure I don't top Rachel's own Shitlist. I got a feeling that either Trollzama, the author of Twilight, the author of Vampire Knight, or that huge furry dog that just won't shut the fuck up tops her own Shitlist.

"Lastly: Now that Lambda/Nu has pretty much died in BlazBlue Continium Shift, who are you gonna get to do the dirty work when you need to use somebody how to or not to do something (Check out chapter 15 of Ask Racheal Alucard to see what I mean) (The Anti-Social One)"

What, you're reminding me to read a chapter of her blog that I wrote? Even though I've saved the manuscript on my hard drive? Oh, you're just reminding the other readers, I get it. Well, I already got Tager, Makoto, and Hakumen on occasion to help me out. And didn't I hint at the possibility that there may be other Murakumo units out there that I could salvage?

Oh wait, alluding to my previous guestwork on Rachel's network . . . are you asking if I have replacements? Of course I do! I could even turn this blog over to my other minions right now! Let me just set up the speech-to-text converter . . . Are we good, Tager?

"All systems functional. Kokonoe, if you don't mind my asking, what is the purpose behind this 'blog'? Wouldn't publishing something like that on the world wide web compromise the security of Sector Seven?"

Geeze, Tager, didn't anyone tell you that nothing I do there is canon? You should really just relax.

"He has a point, Grimalkin. There is nothing to be gained from this so-called 'blog'. All you have been printing thus far are fabrications designed to distract the masses from the drudgery of their lives. Can you not find something more productive to do, daughter of-"

-I'm gonna have to cut you off there, Hakumen. Now I just realized why I have Makoto sneak in a few lines here and there, cuz she's the only one here who isn't a party pooper. Watch what happens when I turn her loose.

"DOOOOOOOOOOOOD! Super Robot Wars: The Nth Generation is teh awesome! (looks lovestruck) Playing it is like dying and reincarnating in Heaven! (Sounding more 'normal') To all you true believers out there, play this game, and fight for everlasting peace! . . . And biscuits, also fight on behalf of biscuits."

Who else but Makotoǃ? (Oh god, why did I just say that in a goofy tone of voiceǃ? Is her unbridled enthusiasm taking over me nowǃ? Damn you, squirrel girl!)

"Oh, Careful, Koko! You might get us sued by saying that!"

Oh really? Uh, nevermind. Well then, that's all the time I have here, suckers. Later.