You wanna know something none of us have tried yet? Well, you'll see what I mean in a moment. Right now, I gotta think of a way to help you all out . . . you know what? I'll just make it brief again. Always be sure to clean out your gutters before a rainstorm. Words to live by.
Now that that's out of the way, I want to do something I haven't done since the beginning; rejected responses! Actually, many of them aren't so much rejected, they just are more like comments that you can't really answer in length. Well, today, I will do nothing but entries that were not meaty enough for my previous chapters, but this time, I'm not doing it alone. Oh no, if I only did rejected entries for my own blog, this chapter will end pretty damn quickly. Here's the news, someone is going to be warping in in about three seconds.
(teleport noise)
"May I say that your hair is as revolting as your tongue."
Yes, one of my frenemies for life is here to assist me.
"Mind you, I only agreed to this because you are far too incompetent on your own, Kokonoe."
Yes, we will be going over rejected entries for not just my blog, but Rachel's blog too, guest starring the Rabbit. By the way, 2011 was a Year of the Rabbit, right?
"Yes, but let us not dwell on such trivialities."
Fair enough. Let's start with a recent one, this would probably be appropriate for a full response, but I'm including it here for a hilarious moment you'll soon see.
"Dear Kokonoe
Get better security for your blog so that we never have another Makoto episode. I may like her but that was ummmmm bad. Also I would like to apologize for Terumi possessing me even though I did get to where his awesome clothes. Any way my newest question for you is rather simple like all my other ones. How is it that you do not have high blood pressure being surrounded by people such as Makoto or Hakumen?
Signed, TriOblivion"
Yeah, uh, I only let Makoto use the blog for as long as I did just to see if she came up with anything interesting. Suffice to say, I was not satisfied.
"Neither was I. It would appear her only concept of entertainment is name-dropping one popular culture reference after another, a gimmick I can do without."
Yes, and as such, I prepared. Before I even conceived of writing this current chapter, I printed up a bunch of yaoi Gundam fanfics and left them in one of the isolation chambers. She has yet to come out, even though I left the door wide open.
"Wait; you printed a number of fan-written stories that are entirely pointless and without meaning?"
Uhh . . . you just used the old meaning of yaoi. Makoto, uh, doesn't go by that meaning of yaoi.
"I am aware of what yaoi normally means; I was only demonstrating that I do have knowledge of the Japanese language."
In any case, as for your question, everyone in Sector Seven has their purpose, whether I like them or not. Some of them may be frenemies, yeah, but there are no outright foes of mine here, and also remember, my lollipops keep me calm under pressure. You'd think sugar-filled candies would only aggravate my stressors, but it actually soothes me somehow.
"So that explains why you always have a lollipop on hand, and here all this time, I thought you had an oral fixation."
Stop referencing Freud, God damn it!
"Only if you stop slandering me."
Fair enough. Here's another response from my channel.
"Okay, trying to come up with something that wouldn´t upset the Lotus-Witch...
Do you have any idea why Ragna is just as popular with the ladies without the Spectacles of Eros as he is with them on? I mean, Noel, Tao, Nu/Lambda, Rachel, Jin... the only one who seems to be resisting thus far is you, being far less yandere than Jin, and Makoto as since she never even met him. (Only in my fanfics. They´re cute together.)
Hazama is much more seductive in his behavior than him, who isn`t even trying to flirt, yet Ragna gets all the girl`s hearts.
Also, to make the whole thing round, do you think it would be possible to make Tager a more human-like man (or even woman, according to some sources), if you took all the experimental stuff that makes him fly and turns him into Golden Tager out of him? Maybe if you just stick to what's necessary he`d be faster.
Still following your blog, still ignoring Rachel´s. :3 (Darkest Vampire)"
You see, this is a fan of mine who knows quality; reads my blog religiously, while ignoring yours entirely.
"Why do you insist on pointing that out? I did not create my blog with the intent of competing with anyone. Then again, I lack the childish desire of outdoing others."
Regardless, for your question, the simplest answer is that the harder you try something, the less likely you are to succeed. Okay, this doesn't work for all things, but it definitely applies here. Remember, people, including women, get tired of people constantly hitting on them, trying to seduce them, et cetera, especially if they have no interest in them to begin with.
"In short, the less irritating you are, the more likely you are to win the hearts of strangers."
And as for Tager, I can't remove all of his mechanical parts, because then he wouldn't be able to survive. (He's like Tony Stark like that, minus the alcohol and womanizing.) If I removed some of his other components, he would be lighter, and I'd imagine he could run faster, but then his combat abilities would go down the shitter, which I can't risk. Oh, and uh, I don't think I can turn him into a woman, but funny you should cite Rule 63. Say Rachel, have you seen any Rule 63 of us?
"Never."
You're no fun at all. You have the power of an antiquated web browser, and yet, you only use it to amuse a bunch of fanboys and fangirls?
"There are some things I am better off not knowing. Remember, I have a hard time forgetting information."
Suit yourself. Oh, and you write, how do you fanficcers phrase it? Ragna/Makoto fics? How the hell does that work? Wait, better not to debate the logic of fanfic writers. You should know all about that, Rabbit.
"I would prefer not to be reminded."
And with that finished, as you can now see, we have already run out of material from my blog. Fear not, for we still have Rachel's backlog. Let's check it out now.
"Dear Lady Rachel,
Excuse any spelling errors made in this as I am writing to you using my PS3. Its my last set of comments may have either rubbed you the wrong way. I in no way tried to insult you or imply you or any other Blazblue characters are rip offs those before (even though the games are filled with references to popular anime and video games.) I do apologize for the misunderstanding.
I'd also like to say I was to Valkenhayn as your devoted in contrast to Rin Tohsaka's Archer while Ragna had a counterpart in Rin's friend Shiro Emiya. Thank you for your responses and look forward to other questions from yours truly. (Dragorian)"
"As you can see, this is an example of a comment, rather than an all new question. Your previous comment was not specific enough, and as such, I did not know you were referring to the character of Shirou Emiya."
Well can you blame him? He wrote that on a PS3! I don't think those things even have keyboards!
"What woeful pieces of technology they must be if that truly is the case. Regarding your question, at first glance, I would almost completely disagree with your comparing Ragna with Shirou. However, after careful analysis, I have determined that they actually do have some things in common. They both desire to do what they believe is right, and nothing can sway them once they put their minds to a task. However, because of our spoiler clause, I cannot say anymore on this subject, but I was correct in saying you can find elements of older characters in us."
And yet, you (the sender) get all apologetic? Why, was it because Rachel was speaking the truth when she said there was no Guilty Gear anime? Or maybe that was just another typo of yours? Yes, I do think you're being sincere, no I'm not being sarcastic. Now then, another response to Rachel, a shorter one preferably.
..."Whick one of the guys in Blazblue do you personally consider the most attractive, aside from Ragna? (Youmomagon)"
"Quit laughing to yourself, Kokonoe! This is a legitimate response!"
Ohhhh~, I think I struck a nerve there! The name Ragna comes up, and you suddenly get all defensi . . . why did you just shoot those rod-like things at me?
"I am not afraid of silencing you, Kokonoe. This was addressed to me, so I will answer it first. Now then, you should be aware that physical attractiveness is of little consequence in the grand scheme of things. Regardless, I can safely say that Bang Shishigami is most assuredly not aesthetically pleasing. If I had to choose one, I would go with Jin. Yes, I find him more pleasing to the eye than even Ragna. Say what you will about him, at least he is able to make himself look presentable."
Do you hear that, kiddies? Ready your keyboards! You now have fuel for Rachel/Jin fanfi-
(bazzap)
AAAGGGHHHH! God damn, that hurt!
"Know your place."
Alright alright, fine, you're one of the fighters, I'm not. Let's move on before I end up with third degree electrical burns.
"Dear Rachel,
I have a problem, but since you only answer questions I will dress this problem in the clothes of a question.
How do you feel about people who talk during movies? I am one of those people, and I can't stop no matter what I try. The things I saw after don't make sense, but that doesn't deter me in the least. When watching a romantic film, filled with a crowd of harping teenage girls, I'll often wait till the most romantic part of the movie (when the two main characters are about to kiss usually) and then I yell out completely rude things like, "Balls!" Also I've been wont to make obscure Voltron references, like, "And I'll for the head!" The worst part is people can't stop me because I am very big and carry with me a long oak cane. Is there anything I can do to stop this? Drugs? Therapy? Or should I just go all the way with a bullet to the brain?
From,
Dirk Steadfast"
You're asking me? You already know what my answer's gonna be; off yourself, so not only would you no longer be a nuisance, society won't have to waste resources just to keep you alive anymore, either.
"How unoriginal of you, Kokonoe."
Come again?
"I offered the same exact suggestion to a reader whose friend was, shall we say, obsessed with me."
Oh yeah! Now I remember! You said the easiest solution was to kill the bastard, then he couldn't think of you anymore!
"In truth, that is really only something I would recommend in a worst-case scenario. And keep in mind, this question was originally directed to me, for it was before you even started this blogging nonsense. In that case, those in the audience who speak aloud during a performance are vermin of the lowest order. They are a nuisance for the rest of the audience, and in the case of a live performance, they are a nuisance for the stage players as well.
To your advantage, you do acknowledge that this is a problem you have, and you wish to stop this repulsive behavior. To do that entirely would require you to familiarize yourself with proper etiquette as much as myself. To do that would be long and arduous, however. Fortunately, there is also a shorter, easier path to stopping. When watching a movie in a theater, imagine nothing but the screen. Do not imagine the seats, the projector, and most importantly, do not imagine the other people, be they screaming children, people talking on their cellular devices, or similar hecklers. Focus only on the screen, the characters within, what they're saying and doing, the music within, essentially focus only on the mise-en-scene of the film and nothing else. You will not be driven to heckle a film if you do this."
Of course, I wouldn't recommend giving up heckling movies entirely. If you're watching something like Manos: The Hands of Fate, feel free to mock it while watching it. Movies like that practically encourage it.
"Unfortunately, this is all I wish to answer at the moment. All that remains is for us to conclude this, and then I will return to my home dimension."
Hey Rachel, I just flashed on something. Do you know what will happen after this is over? People are going to read our banter between each other as romantic subtext, and-
"-They wouldn't dare."
Why? Because the only pairing you support is Ragna/Rachel?
"TEMPEST DAHLIA!"
OOOWWWWWWW! DAMN, THAT HURTS! TAGER!
"What is it, Kokonoe?"
Rachel's being mean to me! Kick her ass!
"Affirmative! . . . . . . . . . Scanners show no sign of her in the immediate vicinity. Shall I pursue her?"
Nah. You're free of duties, for now. I think I'll stop by the medical wing later today. Who would've guessed that blogging would be so dangerous?