And so, the time has come, yet again, that I think of a way to help you out. However, the truth is, the more I do these, the harder it becomes to think of a new way to help you. (I swear, Makoto, if you come running in here yelling, "So does that mean we need to help you, Professor Kokonoeǃ?", you're moving up on the Shitlist.)

However, we're gonna format things a little differently. (Hey, my blog, my rules.) I'm gonna answer a question first, then segway into my advice for you. Having said that, now I am going to answer the last anonymous comment I will ever respond to! After this . . . it will truly be . . . the end of an era. Don't cry, don't cry, save your tears for after the blog. For now, the last anonymous hurrah:

"Yo, Prof!

Dispite the fact that 'Help me, Proffessor Kokonoe!' is completely non-canon, has it ever bothered you to just knock it with tell us it's non-canon and just go with it? Hell! You could probably use that idea to piss off the more dumber portion of your ovarall fanbase, be them actually stupid, needlessly SIRIUS (completely incorrect spelling intended), and so on. i'm sure it would make a lot of people laugh their heads off."

Hey, you're right. I've been way too conservative with my powers as a blog author. I can do whatever I want! And although you're encouraging me to do more of The Hall Of Shame, I don't even have to do that right now! Just watch! (presses numerous buttons)I just fired off my nuclear arsenal! NO MORE STUPID PEOPLE WOOOOOOOOOO!

(suddenly, Makoto runs in, with an excited look on her face)

[Makoto] Dude, dude, dude, dude, seriously, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, you know the latest Ask Rachel Alucard, where she was talking some old visual novel, the one called . . . um . . . something to do with with seagulls? I just started playing that, right? And it is like, the most awesome VN I've played since, like, forever dude! Seriously, I think I'm awesome'd out right now!

[Kokonoe] I no, riteǃ? Wait, didn't you hear the explosion just now?

[Makoto] Huh? What explosion?

[Kokonoe] (sighs) Nevermind.

(Somewhere on the surface, Jin is overlooking the ruined landscape, covered in soot)

[Jin] Damned Sector Seven labcoats! Can't they keep their noses out of my business for just one second!

[Ragna] (from out of nowhere) Hey asshole, how's the fallout?

[Jin] (looking psychotic) BEEEEE-ROTHEEEEEEEER! Fancy seeing you here!

[Kokonoe] Okay, enough of that weirdness. As you were saying,

"Anyway, I hope you do well in your conquest to put every internet low life like 'd' in their place.

Yours truely,

The Anti-Social One

P.S.: Incase you, reader or other wise, think I'm an actual anti-Social. YOU ARE WRONG! I went like an idiot and thought an Anti-Social was a "Crude Lone Wolf" stereotype thing. Not some Sociopath that's out to make everyone's life a living hell. Ah well. Just a stupid name, so I can tolerate it if not a bit longer."

Anti-social doesn't automatically mean sociopath. It just means you don't have much contact with the outside world. And knowing how most people are, I can respect that. And it would seem that you support the idea of me hunting down dumbasses for the Hall Of Shame, even those who didn't troll me or my colleagues. Well lucky for you, because I am going to do that now!

This latest fail was not directed at me, nor my associates. And because of the lack of personal connection, I'll keep the names anonymous, so as to protect the innocent, as well as the perpetrators of stupidity. One day, I got bored, so I looked up amateur reviews of shit from your time period. Amateur reviews are a riot, for although they aren't bought out by publishers like professional reviewers, they tend to be just as biased, if not more. Even then, sometimes, the reviewers are unbiased, but you can't say the same for the critiques of the critique. Case in point: I found a negative amateur review of a multi-volume novel series. I won't say what series, except that it was a fantasy novel . . . not Twilight. It was a fantasy novel series, let's leave it at that. This review, despite being negative, was not the work of a troll. The reviewer mentioned a lot of serious flaws like bad pacing, idiot characters that get little to no growth, that sort of thing. Conversely, he (assuming it's a guy) mentioned some things we would've liked to see. His biggest suggestion was something like, "So most of the characters have these powers, right? Well how come they never use their powers in inventive ways, like summoning a horde of cats, or shooting spaghetti out of their fingers?" All well and good, but two comments to the review were by obvious fantards. One of the fantards said something like (it's funnier if I edit the message):

"It's not your series! You're not the one who wrote it! If you wanna see shit like that that badly, then write your own goddamned novel! And leave (name of author) alone! This is my favorite work of fiction of all time, damn you! (sniffle)"

The other fantard was like:

"You only hate it because you don't get it! You must be an emotionally retarded manchild if you think (series) sucks! Stop spreading your filth over the internet, and never write a review again! And get a life, too! Now where's my Preparation H . . ."

Oh, but that's not all! Another commenter showed up, but this one was a White Knight, and not a dumbass, either! (S)He said something like:

"I apologize on behalf of the Science/Fantasy community here. This franchise is filled to the brim with fanbabies like those trolls. It's shameful, I know, but someone's gotta be unafraid to criticize flaws in (series). I would've done so earlier myself, but alas, I do not have your bravery. Well done, sir or madam."

And now comes the first part of my lesson; what if these people were discussing something much more serious than a series of books? What would happen then if the critics of the unpopular opinion were all waaaaghbulance victims waiting to happen? I'll be the one with an unpopular opinion.

"I hate the surface! I'm gonna nuke it!" "WAGH! WAGH! You don't know the surface! You're just being mean! Never threaten us again! WAGH!" "All the more reason to nuke you."

Watch what happens when you construct a meaningful critique.

"I hate the surface! I'm gonna nuke it!" "I must advise you to seriously reconsider your assessment. Destroy the surface? What could you possibly gain from that? Isn't your motivation behind this entire plan driven by nothing more than your own pettiness? Who will supply you with lollipops after you have destroyed the surface? And what of your friends, what few there are? You would be fine with killing them, knowing their deaths were at the behest of your conscience? Know that your plan is ill-advised at best, and downright evil at worst." " . . . God damn it, Rachel."

And let's flip that around; I'll print a popular opinion. (Ahem) I like Blaz Blue. If you like 2D fighters, I think you will like Blaz Blue too.

"This isn't like Street Fighter! Therefore, it sucks by default!" "Why do all the characters look like animu shitheadsǃ?" "This soundtrack is too metal!" "None of the voices are done by celebrities!" "How come you don't have 70 plus characters to play asǃ?" (Do I really need to elaborate further on this one?)

And here is today's lesson: if you are going to complain about anything, be it books, games, or plans of world destruction, make sure your complaint is both legitimate, and well thought out. If not, you'll just end up looking like a tool.

Next time, on Help Us, Professor Kokonoe! I answer from someone with an account!