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Election days when one works for the government are the longest and most unproductive days of all. The waiting on results cannot begin until after the polls close, leaving the curious to watch for unrelated signs that might predict the outcome. John was watching to see if the birds were flying low to the ground, a sure sign of an incumbent's victory. While David had made an appearance earlier, he had gone to cast his own ballot and pay a few social calls that might help. Graham had said he intended to spend the day at home and avoid the gossip and rumors that would surely abound, as well as the questions about his declaration.

"You daft fool," Robin said when he realized why the larger man was standing in front of the window rather than working. "That's how you predict snowfall."

Emma sputtered over her coffee, holding back laughter at the absurdity of the conversation. She had not really laughed since Sunday, keeping quiet and preferring to concentrate on the current workload than consider how many things in her life were changing. She knew that people were worried about her, the number of text and voice messages indicated that one. David and Mary Margaret checked in frequently, as did Ruby, Graham, Elsa, and Henry. Neal had left three messages on his own.

Robin dropped the file she had been searching for earlier on her desk, his own smile growing as she dove for it like it contained lottery winnings and food for a starving man. "You know that you're not on duty today, right?"

She ignored the question with a flip of her ponytail over her shoulder and let her eyes wander down the first page of the file. Finding it difficult to fully study the file under Robin's less than subtle gaze and the half attempt of John to do the same, she sighed, dropping the gold bracketed file onto her desk. "What?"

"It's not my business," Robin said, spinning one of the straight back chairs on one leg and straddling it backwards to indicate he wasn't going to make this a short conversation. "God knows I hate it when people offer me advice."

"Then don't." Emma offered this suggestion halfheartedly.

"What has happened between you and Killian?" The fact that he cleared his throat twice – one before the question and once after – indicated that he wasn't fully vested in asking it. Yet there he was with the kind eyes of a father and the sympathetic head tilt of a friend. "I haven't seen him yesterday or today and usually…"

"I guess he's busy," Emma said.

The answer was not completely satisfying, but Robin mulled it over for a few moments. Then with his fingers plucking at the corner of a stack of papers, he gave her a sigh. "Regina is probably one of the most independent women I know. She wants to make all her own decisions. She thinks she knows what to do in any situation." His lips twerked upward as he remembered some obviously private memory. "Problem is that it has made it hard to really get to know her. She has walls that are taller than any I have known. And damned if I didn't celebrate when I got over them. But the problem is that behind those walls is a woman who is afraid. She's afraid of being vulnerable and afraid of wanting too much. She's afraid that she'll do the wrong thing and push people away so she pushes them away to keep her heart protected." His arms were folded on the back of the chair, the gray t-shirt he was wearing stuck out from the collar of his blue and gray striped shirt. "I try to reassure her, show her that she is loved, but in the end she's afraid that I'll leave. So on more than one occasion she's pushed me to do just that."

Emma smoothed the end of her ponytail over her shoulder, watching with careful consideration as he studied her. He was obviously hoping she would derive some meaning in this story of his. "So you think I'm like Regina. I'm pushing Killian away so he won't leave first. It will hurt less if I push than if I'm rejected?"

Scratching thoughtfully at the stubble of his jawline, Robin shrugged with a minor rise of his shoulders. "I was just sort of venting about my relationship," he said. "If you found anything familiar or significant about my tale, that's just a coincidence." His lopsided grin seemed to be a challenge. "Did you learn anything?"

She rolled her eyes so far that she wondered if there was any damage to them. "I get it," she said. "I pushed Killian to accept the job so that I didn't have to see him leave and wonder if he was coming back. I didn't have to worry if I wasn't enough or if I was somehow responsible. He's leaving because of my terms. And I can't be mad at him or me if I told him to do it." She folded her arms over her chest, the thin brown leather jacket creasing with the effort. "I should go tell him, right? I should tell him that I'm going to miss him, but that I support his going. I should tell him that I will count every minute until he's home."

Pretending to think, Robin winked at her. "I don't know about all that. I was just thinking that you could have dinner with me at Regina's while Killian's gone. I mean since you have so much in common and all."

"Really, Locksley? Really?"

"Or maybe we could have lunch. Some burgers from Granny's?" He put on his most innocent expression. "It's not like we're getting any work done around here."

Emma thought of protesting, but her empty stomach got the better of her. Dashing off a note to herself on a post-it with both Robin and John's orders, the blonde slipped out the side door and hurried along to Granny's before the miners and other day workers managed to fill up all the tables. She knew that if she missed that tiny window between the breakfast and lunch shifts that she would be waiting quite a long time.

It seemed strange for it to be an election day and there were no posters for the candidates. Nobody stood on street corners with signs and nobody was walking door to door. The quietness was not indicative of apathy though, as Emma could see a plethora of people wearing stickers that indicated their experience voting. Emma's own sticker was on one of her lower layers of clothing and hidden by her jacket and scarf.

She was explaining to the proprietress of the diner just how John wanted his burger – extra cheese and less than the normal amount of lettuce – when she felt the eyes on her. The soft scent of lilacs kissed her nose and she could hear the animated laugh of the woman from the several feet away. She turned her head slightly to see her, Tink standing there chatting it up with one of the servers. Her wildly curly hair was piled on top of her head in an artistically messy bun and her delicate hands waved in a frantic fashion as she recognized someone from one of the other tables. They hugged quickly and Emma returned to her order, ignoring both the reunion and Granny's questioning glance.

"Two orders of onion rings and one of fries." Emma watched the woman scratch out barely discernable shorthand on the pad. "And can I get a hot chocolate to go. Extra cinnamon?"

"Oh that sounds good," Tink said, taking the bar stool next to her and rubbing her bare hands together furiously. "I am a sucker for anything chocolate. And cinnamon? It's one of my favorite spices."

Emma could see why Killian and everyone had a hard time saying no to the woman with her feisty and yet sincere attitude. She was the type of woman who men lusted after and women wanted to be friends with, but still Emma's stomach turned a bit sour each time she spoke, wondering if Killian was like the throngs of admirers. The idea of the two of them on that ship, quiet moments, celebrations, and more were the bane of Emma's existence now. She had taken to screaming no to herself every time she imagined them alone on that ship studying a chart of diagram, the blonde's body pressed against his… She did not need to see and hear that blonde now.

"Mine too," Emma responded weakly as the woman looked toward her with expectation. That two word answer seemed to be enough, as Tink turned her attention to the menu and began a list of orders to take back to the ship where, according to her hurried accounts, they were making the finishing touches.

Emma cringed as she heard the perky young woman order a grilled cheese with pepper jack rather than cheddar, adding a cup of tomato bisque too. That was clearly Killian's order – his standard after Emma had extolled the merits of her grilled cheese regular order. She almost told Tink to add a side of onion rings, knowing that Killian never did and yet managed to steal some of hers each time. However, that only made her imagine his long fingers snaking out to steal the fried side dish as he kissed her to distraction.

"You should come see the progress," Tink said, breaking through the remembrances. "It's a little more extravagant than we are used to having, but you know Killian. He never does anything halfway."

Humming in agreement, Emma pretended to stare at the menu with renewed interest. She didn't want to see the light in the woman's eyes. She'd heard Killian say that he had no interest in Tink, but just the thought of them in the same vicinity made Emma more than a little jealous. Inwardly she chastised herself, she had pushed him to this. She had told him to go. He'd protested valiantly and then with frustration and defeat written across him, he'd retreated from her apartment and said that they would talk later. That had been 36 hours ago.

"I hope this mission will be successful," Emma said, hoping she did not sound as robotic as she felt.

"I'm sure it will be," Tink said with no worry evident. "Killian and the guys are assembling a great crew. A little green perhaps, but great nonetheless." The woman droned on for a bit as Emma half listened and half prayed that Granny would hurry with the orders.

"Killian will do a great job," Emma said during a lull in the conversation. "He's always…

"Graham was so excited by the offer that I can't help but think that he'll be an enthusiastic and determined addition." Tink was smiling brightly, a gentle hum added to the cadence of her accent as she toyed with the lavaliere that hung around her neck. "Killian's suggestion was just brilliant!"

Emma's head snapped in Tink's direction, looking more than curious. "Graham?"

The other blonde nodded, curls bouncing. "Oh yes," she said. "Killian suggested him after I said we needed someone with some tactical experience at tracking and military operations. I hope we won't need his expertise too much, but bringing in our own expert is so much better of an idea than having to find someone while we're there." She smiled again as if she knew some wild secret. "He's excited about the opportunity."

"I'm sure he is," Emma said with a defeated sigh. First Killian and now Graham? Was she about to be alone in Storybrooke while everyone else went on an adventure? She tried to remind herself that she liked being alone, liked the feeling of the solitude and quiet, but it didn't quite feel the same.

***AAA***

Killian heard the thick and heavy clump of boots overhead, which he could easily discern did not belong to Tink. Dropping the box he had been carrying onto the pile and giving Smee and apologetic smile, Killian climbed on deck and squinted toward the taller figure across from him.

"Sorry, mate," he said with recognition. "I didn't realize you would be stopping by today."

David glanced at the rigging and equipment that was piled high both on the ship and at the dock. A few men that David barely recognized were dashing about with them, the sounds of drills and scent of torches filling his nose. "Lot of work being done around here," David said, the toe of his boot tapping another of the boxes.

Killian glanced about as if he had not even realized the extent of the activity himself. "Aye, it's a bear of task, but well worth it once she sets off." His coat was down below and he instantly wished for it, missing the comfortable warmth. "If you're here to see Tink or Graham…"

Smiling easily, David shook his head. "No, I spoke to Tink earlier about the timetable. And Graham came to me before he accepted the offer. I'm here to see you."

The knot in Killian's stomach seemed to tighten as he realized that this was probably the brotherly talk about hurting Emma. He swallowed hard, avoiding the taller man's eyes as he took a step backward and glanced about the deck again. "I assumed I would see you and hear from you about this," Killian said, using his sales voice. "Forgive me if I was hoping that I was wrong."

"Emma told you to do this. I can't fault you for wanting to see it through. It sounds like a wonderful opportunity. Adventure, good deeds, and all that. Must be exciting. I'd be tempted myself."

Again wishing for his coat, Killian considered his options for a moment. "She thinks I would regret it if I turned it down," he said with a sad sort of chuckle. "I told her…"

The startled grunt from David seemed out of place as he watched two of the men lug another crate onto the deck with hand trucks. "You've thought about that? Taking her with you, I mean?"

Killian smiled then shook his head. "I never got the chance to ask her, mate," he said. "Call me prideful or an idiot, I couldn't risk the rejection with her pushing me out the door."

"But you would?"

Killian had thought about it, considered the idea of taking Emma on some long voyage whether for work or for fun. He craved the idea of waking up with her in his arms each morning, the gentle sway of the ship rocking them into a deep slumber. He had pictured her learning just as he had, the smile on her face as she succeeded and the glow when she celebrated even the smallest of victories. "I would do whatever I can to remain in her life," Killian said, "but you know that once she decides to cut someone out, there is little that can be done."

David did know that. "She hasn't yet."

"Is Emma okay?" Killian asked, the lines deepening around his eyes as he said her name. "I assumed she would be busy what with the election today."

David balled his fists at his waist, posing like a superhero about to take flight. His breath shown in the cold air and the scent of someone's welding torch tickled his nose as the sounds of saws and drills filled the air. "Yes, she is okay. As much as…She's stubborn as hell."

"Aye," Killian said with a little shrug. "That she is."

Two men were struggling with a hand truck and two heavy crates, their words giving new credence to the phrase cuss like a sailor. David watched them a moment before turning to Killian and jutting his chin out toward the ladder. "Is there some place we can talk?"

Again the dark haired man nodded. "I'd say below deck, but it's busy around here. I know a place around the corner. Some coffee maybe?"

David was about to complain that he didn't want to be kept up by caffeine, but it was election day. At the very least he would be burdened to stay awake through the returns and the party. Following Killian, he jumped onto the dock and then made his way past the other workers. A few of them nodded as though they recognized him, but most were too busy to be bothered. Killian mentioned something about campaigning and then disappeared behind a cloudy glass door with a neon sign fashioned into a coffee cup with steam blinking in the window.

Like David, Killian drank his coffee black and sipped slowly on it. He clearly wanted to ask something more after Emma, but he was holding back. "I imagined you would be busy today too."

Huffing out something that almost sounded like a laugh, David curled his hand around the coffee cup. "My father, bastard that he is, knows a lot about elections. He claimed that if you were still campaigning on election day that you were a damn fool and an amateur. People already know who they will vote for at the polls. A few handshakes or bumper stickers won't change that now."

"A bit like selling a boat," Killian said with that same soundless chuckle. "You have to know when to quit selling. You have to know when you've driven home every benefit and perk. At some point people are either going to buy or they won't. You can't force it." He sipped down a bit of the bitter coffee and resisted the urge to make a face. Emma would hate it, preferring the sickeningly sweet hot chocolate.

"Emma probably hates this place," David said, looking around at the faded posters of typical breakfast fare and the limited list of coffee options – two to be exact. "She's a Starbucks girl."

His blue eyes crinkled again, picturing her with her cup of specialty coffee, hiding the label with her gloved hand. She always seemed embarrassed by that one little luxury that he would have gladly shared with her for the rest of their lives. "I don't think you came calling about some coffee, mate," Killian said, forcing David's attention. "So why are you here?"

"Can't say I'm here about the coffee," the sheriff agreed, wincing with another sip. "But I am here about Emma."

Killian closed his eyes at the sound of her name, cringing. "She's not okay?"

"Physically? She's fine. But she's a wreck emotionally. And I know she probably pushed you away like the rest of us have been pushed. She's prone to that – stop them before they hurt you." He took another sip, whether by habit or need. "People have been leaving her all her life. And it's easier in her mind, if the leaving is brought on by her. That way…"

"That way she doesn't have to worry that she wasn't good enough for me to stay? Funny thing, Dave, I wasn't going anywhere. I was planning to stay right here." His eyes were a bit bloodshot and his skin darker beneath them as if he had been having problems sleeping.

David nodded his head knowingly, lifting the paper cup up to his mouth and lowering it before he took another sip. "And she told you to go."

"She practically pushed me out the door while screaming about it," he said, nervously pulling at the collar of his deep blue shirt. "Told me that she wasn't going to stand in my way. Never even believed me when I said I didn't want to go."

Again the sheriff seemed to recognize this in Emma, knowing it to be true. David held up a single hand. "I know Emma. I know that her greatest fear is people leaving her. Hell, she took my leaving for college worse than Mary Margaret and my mother combined. She stood there screaming for me to go and then cried when I did. When I graduated and came home she ignored me, said her life had moved on and that I should too."

"Sounds bloody familiar," Killian muttered. "She claims that everything will be back to normal when I got back from this trip, but I know that it won't. I know that those damn walls will be back." He stared at the coffee as though it offended him.

"Do you know where her name comes from?" David asked, ignoring the bewildered look from Killian as he opened another pack of sugar to try to sweeten the liquid tar in the paper cup.

"The name Emma is German, I believe," the darker haired man said thoughtfully, wondering why this was the new topic of conversation. "Something about universal?"

David's eyes closed and he drew in a sharp breath before he said anything. "I meant Swan and not the meaning of it," he hastily added. Killian shook his head, muttering about his head being filled with useless knowledge. "Emma was adopted as a baby. A couple with the last name of Swan."

Killian nodded his head, recalling her brief admission that she had been abandoned on the side of a road. He had not pressed her for details, instead swallowing the rage that anyone would dare do that to a baby and feeling admiration for the way she had grown past those beginnings to a resilient woman with a strong sense of self. David's eyes were boring into him, seeming to beg him to ask the question. "What happened to them?"

"Emma doesn't say much about those years. I'm not sure how much she actually remembers and how much was just hearsay, but from what I was told the Swans found out they were expecting a child. They gave up Emma, taking her to an orphanage and dropping her off like unwanted clothes to a charity."

Using every bit of strength inside him, Killian bit back the urge to curse at the idea of the beautiful child being given back, made to feel unwanted and not worth of the love that all children deserved. Part of him wanted to rush to her and hold her in his arms until she realized just how wanted and needed she was to him. The other part wanted to find this Swan family and destroy them for the way they broke her. If he thought about it hard enough, he could see that it was them and not just Neal who obliterated her self-confidence and trust. He did his fair share, but they were the ones who first taught her that she might not be enough.

"She would kill me for saying this, but damn it I'm going to explain this so you don't get on that ship next week and take off with the idea that she is fine and dandy with your absence. She's used to people leaving her. She can probably say goodbye in 40 languages by now. And your leaving – even if it is just for this short time won't break her. It won't kill her. She's stronger than that. But it will change her."

Killian could see how much David was struggling to balance his admiration for Emma with that protective streak he had inside. "I don't want to leave her," Killian said more emphatically. "If she would come with me, I'd welcome here in a heartbeat. If she wanted me to stay, I'd do so without hesitation. But she seems to push me away with both hands. And frankly, David, I'm not sure she is going to allow me to fight for her."

"Do you need permission for that?" David asked, his smirk fading into a frown. "Killian, I am not here to tell you what to do. I don't know that myself. I don't know how to tell you to get her to understand. If I knew how to get through to women, I'd have married Mary Margaret years ago. I'd know how to…well, I don't know. I don't know how to make Emma understand. But I do think you actually and genuinely love her and care about her. So I can't let you just sit here and pretend like Emma's going to have some epiphany while at Granny's or sitting alone at my election night party."

Killian leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. "David, forgive me for not coming out and screaming to the world that I love Emma. It's not a word that comes easily to me, no easier than the sentiment itself. But I truly believed that Emma was worth that. I felt she was worth the fight and worth the stress of having to learn how to put someone else first. Because no matter how natural it feels to put Emma first, I struggle. And I don't know how to fight every moment of every day to prove to her that I'm not Neal. I'm not going to hurt her."

His mouth falling open a bit, David mimicked Killian's posture in the chair. "Are you saying it might not be worth the fight? That maybe Emma isn't worth…"

"No," Killian growled out harshly, interrupting the man Emma viewed as her brother. "Emma's worth more than any discomfort I feel or any stress I might endure. And I hoped…hope…that she feels the same about me. You see, Emma isn't the only one to know what it's like to feel abandoned and alone. My own father left my brother and I to fend for ourselves. He left us with a sick mother and not a clue as to how to survive. We did it because we had to do it, but those things…that abandonment…it leaves scars. I see them in Emma and I see them in the mirror."

David was still stirring his coffee, more out of excess energy than necessity. He expelled a breath. "I'm not a therapist," he said with a short laugh. "I barely passed psychology and never would have made it in forensic behavior. But it seems to me that you and Emma have a lot in common, maybe so much that you both have a hard time seeing the other person's flaws."

Killian tilted his head and listened to the man. "I'm listening."

"Again, this is just 16 weeks of intro to psych and a few mandatory sessions with Archie that the state requires sometimes," the man rambled. "But sometimes when we see ourselves in someone it is harder to see their flaws. Maybe it is that if we admit their flaws we have to admit our own."

Killian smirked. "That's pretty heavy for 16 weeks, mate."

***AAA***

It wasn't an election party without red, white, and blue decorations. Mary Margaret and Ruby had gone overboard with them from the balloons and crepe paper to the tiny flags hidden in the centerpieces of red and white flowers in blue vases. As the polls closed at 7 that evening, the friends and supporters of David began to file into diner. Spirits were high and Granny's somewhat lessened crew hustled about serving food and offering drinks.

"I think we may have done it," Ruby said, linking her arm through Emma's and guiding the two of them to a table. "The power of team work." The brunette bumped her hip into her blonde friend to the beat of the music that played from a juke box.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Emma said sullenly, her eyes flitting toward the door as Leroy entered. "Votes still have to be counted." She grabbed one of the baskets of onion rings that were being passed around and slipped out of Ruby's grasp to munch in the corner. She knew this had been a bad idea, as she was not in a partying mood. But it was a work thing, as well as a party to celebrate the man who had saved her more times than she could count.

Not to be deterred, Ruby slid in the booth across from her and delicately pulled one of the fried items from the basket. Followed by one of the women from the church who everyone nicknamed Blue for some unknown reason and a blonder than normal Katheryn.

"It's not such a bad thing, you know?" Kathryn said, shaking her head at the idea of a fried dish. The blonde's name had been brought up a few times recently for a possible appointment to Spencer Nolan's unfilled term as district attorney. She was young and inexperienced, but the woman was driven and most assumed the position would be hers eventually.

Chewing thoughtfully, Emma waited for someone to ask. When no one did, the blonde swallowed and gave her friend a sardonically curious look before turning to Kathryn. "What isn't such a bad thing?"

"Pushing Killian back a little. I mean it sucks for him, but you're just sort of testing him, right? Seeing if he comes back to you?" I mean that's what this is all about right? Why else would you send him away?" It was a sarcastic note, one that was hardly serious and yet even Ruby sat there expecting an answer. People couldn't help but look at her. A red silk slip dress clung to her curves with a black lace overlay on top of it. She paired with some of the highest heels that Emma had ever seen. Her dark hair lay in waving curls down her back, face perfectly painted and her nails a deep shade of red.

"I'm not playing a game," Emma protested, feeling mildly annoyed that Ruby would think such a thing. "I'm just trying to give him the opportunity to do what he's meant to do."

"Right," Ruby drawled out, jumping in where Kathryn left off. "And this has nothing to do with that saying about seeing if he returns to you and that meaning it is true love." The woman nodded to herself. "Of course it is just about him finding his happiness."

Emma groaned and looked about the room to see if she recognized anyone else, seeking a reprieve. Mr. Clark had closed the pharmacy early and along with a man everyone called Doc was talking to Granny. Aurora was bouncing her son on one hip as she nibbled on a cookie. Ashley and her husband were in an animated conversation with John. Robin and his son were trying out the new pinball machine that Granny had included in the diner.

"He's not here yet," Ruby continued. "Doesn't mean anything though. I mean you did…"

"Enough!" Emma glared at her friend. "You are practically bipolar. The other day you were saying I'm wonderful and deserving of love and today you're…"

"Teasing you," Ruby finished. "I'm sorry, Emma. I am trying to figure out what's going on with you. You and Killian seemed to be moving in the right direction. And now?"

Emma didn't answer right away, grateful for Fredrick's arrival that distracted Kathryn away and Blue's rush to greet another friend that left Ruby the only guest at the table Emma had sat at for the evening. The two stared at each other for a moment longer before Ruby again asked what was supposed to happen next.

Emma blinked in her friend's direction, resisting the urge to tell her that her crystal ball was at the shop. "Now? I don't know. I wasn't testing him. I'm not that kind of person, but, Ruby…What if he doesn't come back?"

***AAA***

Killian paced in front of the vintage clothing store, its windows dark and the street silent. A few people milled about in front of Granny's, but none lingered long with the temperature dropping radically. Already the sky was spitting snow and his ability to stay outdoors was severely limited.

Henry and Regina had arrived just a few minutes before. And feeling a bit like a stalker, Killian watched the young boy embrace his blonde mother with a tight hug. Her face had turned from an impassive frown to a smile as she nuzzled into his tousled hair and listened to something Regina had to say.

"You do realize it is way too cold to be this stubborn?" Graham asked, startling Killian as he approached. The man's swagger deterred as he sidestepped a slick spot on the concrete. His smile is friendly but a little nervous as he sticks out his hand in greeting.

"You're here for the festivities?" he asked, ignoring the fact that it is an obvious question. But there seemed something awkward about the former competition attending the party of the other candidate. "I guess you are."

Graham shifted toward the curb, watching a few more people enter. "I wasn't sure where to go," he admitted. "I cancelled my own event and it seemed I would be a bit of a recluse to hide away in my room." He glanced again at the door with a wistful expression. "But now that I'm here it's not such an easy proposition."

"Aye," Killian said as though he fully understood how the man who could have become sheriff felt. "I need to offer my congratulations to David, but Emma…"

"I never took you for a coward. To hear Tink talk about you have the reputation of a daring and scrupulous man. Emma talks about you like you are practically perfect. So I am a little surprised you're hiding in plain sight and waiting on what? An engraved invitation?"

The two men stood there on the sidewalk, neither taking a step toward or away from Granny's, speaking of the upcoming mission with Tink and Graham's addition to the team. They were both caught up in that discussion, hands dug into their pockets and cheeks reddening in the wind as the snowflakes grew fatter and wetter when Ruby appeared to carry out a bag of trash under her grandmother's direction.

"You two are pathetic," she decried, her hand on a jutted out hip. With a cursory glance at the street to check for traffic, she saunters across to them with both two stunned to move. While they have been shivering, she did not show the ill effects of the water even without a coat or wrap. Her eyes skipped from one to the other as if she was trying to decide who to chastise first.

Graham's tentative smile seemed to be the invitation she needed. "David's not arrived yet, but I'm thinking he's going to be happy to see you. Go in and get something to eat." His mouth opened to protest and she waved it off. "Granny will kick your butt if you stand out here and starve in this cold because of pride. Now go be a man."

Then she whirled her attention on Killian, eyeing him from head to toe. "Are you going to talk to her?" she asked accusingly. "Because she is in there pretending like she doesn't want you to do that but looking at the door every time the bell rings. It's annoying and a little bit pathetic."

"I didn't mean to…"

Ruby's eye rolls were only second to Emma's. "You think I don't know that? I'm not her body guard, but I'm here friend. And as her friend, I'm telling you to swallow whatever it is keeping you outside while she's in there." Her fingers toyed with her hair for a moment as she again eyed him. "She doesn't tell people how she feels about them often."

Killian closed his eyes for a second, willing himself to say something to Ruby that was a bit more substantial than telling her to mind her business. "I realize how much of a privilege that is, lass, but I don't intend to discuss such sentiments while I'm standing out here freezing my arse off."

Ruby's laugh was louder than he was used to hearing from a woman, her amusement at his obvious discomfort. "Are you planning to leave?" she asked abruptly. "I mean with Tink."

He shook his head no. "She won't let me tell her that, arguing that I'm missing out on opportunities and bound to regret it." His eyes caught sight of Emma standing with her back to the window, greeting Graham. "Perhaps she will get the point when they ship off and I'm still here."

Ruby followed his gaze and watched the blonde greet and then retreat back to her corner. "She's always been more of a show than tell kind of girl. But that may be a bit much. Thought about talking to her?"

Her suggestion was so obvious that he couldn't help laughing at the absurdity of it. "I might try that next."

***AAA***

Graham rested his elbows on the counter, facing outward with a beer that someone had shoved into his hand upon entering. Occasionally he took a drink or gave a nod to someone, but he could tell that most people were ignoring him and unable to come up with something to say to him. Were congratulations on his new job in order? What about a consolation that he had lost his first political race.

"So when were you going to tell me?" she asked, facing the opposite direction as she sat on a stool and pretended that the cook frying up the orders was more interesting than the three dozen or so people at the party. He didn't answer, which she took as evidence that he didn't understand her question. "When were you going to tell me you quit your job?"

His head lolled back as though she had punched him, a gasp exhaling quickly. "I didn't quit exactly," he clarified before taking another sip from the brown glass bottle that most people poured into a mug. "Consider it an extended leave of absence."

She nodded again, still not looking at him but rather Granny who was chastising some poor server's footwear choice on a cold and yet busy night. "You're going on your adventure." She tried to sound wistful but it wasn't convincing.

"That I am," he said, finally turning from his profile to study hers. "I'm going to miss you, Robin, John, even David. But this is…"

"An opportunity of a lifetime," she echoed, sadly glancing down at her hands. "I realize that. You're going to be amazing. She's lucky to have you." Pressing her lips together tightly, she knew she was pretending again to be satisfied and fine when she wasn't. "I was trying to get you on with the state police, you know. They have some…"

He took another long sip and licked his lips of the moisture before he spoke. "It's a good opportunity, but it's not the only one, you know? There are things…other things…that one could do. But this is right for me. Not for everyone, but for me."

Her hands curled around the edge of the counter and she pushed backwards. "It's a lovely thought," she said, "but this is Killian's dream too. He wants to feel validated, needed, and like he is giving something back. He's like you in that way." She couldn't help the blush that formed, evidence that she did realize he had been talking about himself and not her boyfriend.

"I knew we had a connection. You went out and found yourself a boyfriend who reminded me you of me." He was clearly teasing, playing off that drunken night when both wondered if there might be more between them and wondered even more than friendship. However, like with all things in her life, Emma had hesitated and the two had realized their connection was not romantic in nature. Lust was possible, but working afterward would have been awkward.

"You're going to miss Christmas," she noted. "It's one of your favorite holidays."

Like her, Graham was a little low on the number of family members. She cannot recall him ever mentioning one and more often than not spent the holidays with Mary Margaret and David or working. Still he was generous to a fault and usually bought the most thoughtful gifts for his coworkers and friends. He had bought her a modern thermos for hot chocolate one year and a variety pack of k-cups for her machine so she could decide what flavor she liked best.

"It will be tough, but I plan to finish my gift shopping this week. Then you all can help yourselves." He was proud of that hidden trait, one that kept him emailing with Mary Margaret and on the receiving end of phone calls from the mall.

"Always prepared," she declared. "A regular boy scout."

She might have said more, asked more questions, but Ruby grabbed a somewhat stunned Graham by the hand and led him to the dance floor area – ok it was just some tables and chairs pushed aside. Ruby was doing her best to make it into a spectacle, her hands resting on the usually stoic hips of the deputy and guiding him through some of her favorite moves. Emma appreciated the brunette's boldness and after checking her texts to and from David and Mary Margaret, considered a move outside for some air but deciding against it.

***AAA***

Two more songs played before she saw him enter, shaking off a few of the fat snowflakes from his dark hair before he sought her out. Reminding herself that she had told him nothing would change in his absence, she tried to smile at him, but it felt forced and probably looked psychotic. Maybe that was what drew him in, walking toward her with purpose and dodging the various guests who were biding their time waiting on David.

"I thought you were going to be busy," she said when he was about two feet from her. "Lots to do before…"

His smile, tentative as it was, fell as she began to list all the things he should be doing to leave. He had already told her that he wasn't leaving, but that only seemed to anger her that he would consider not taking the opportunity. "Love," he said, clenching his fist rather than reaching out to touch her. "I'm not here to argue with you so let's drop the topic."

She opened her mouth, more than likely to protest his offer. However, there is something in his eyes that could not be ignored. Holding out her hand, she provides a little bit of a peace offering. "Dance?"

"I'd love to," he told her, clasping her hand in his and leading her over to that same area. Their moves were not as provocative as Ruby's, but he held her tight against him and for a moment both believed that he wouldn't let go.