Oh look, another entry I pounded out. Hurray. Although this time, I actually have some real, palpable advice for you all.
Today's life lesson? Clean your computer hardware. This is highly important! A few days ago, my mouse was acting weird. It was registering single clicks as double-clicks, dragging and selecting shit I didn't click on, and basically being a nuisance. I took it apart and found it was full of dirt and hair and other nastiness. I cleaned it out and put it back together. Now, the click buttons work right, the mouse itself scrolls more smoothly, and I can use selection boxes properly again! Not only that, Makoto once told me she forgot to clean a hard drive tower for her laptop as a kid, the dirt choked the cooling fans, and then it caught fire. All those pirated animus and vidjagames had to be re-downloaded, poor thing. But you can avoid that by cleaning it every few months!
But now let's get to the most popular feature, the part where I service the fans . . . by answering their questions.
"Dear professor Kokonoe!
Well actually I was wondering If I could direct this question towards Hakumen if he isn't doing something busy"
Of course I could. Just don't expect politeness.
"P.S. You rock XP"
Okay, first of all, you do not put your post-script in the middle of a fucking letter! It goes at the eeeend of an email! Simple linguistics!Secondly, no, I don't rock XP. Do I look like I use ancient OS's in my time period? (Lame pun is lame.)
"Okay Umm, Hakumen I have three questions I would love for you to answer if you can.
1.) Why do you STILL hate ragna? Seriously, I mean even in a different reality you still hate him? Is he that evil?"
Hakumen, you have point.
"Regarding why I still hate Ragna the Bloodedge, you would do well to remember that he is the Black Beast. The Black Beast cares for nothing except total annihilation. Any being who is a nihilist is therefore evil, and must be put down before it causes any harm. Ragna the Bloodedge is no exception to this rule, blood brother or not. Your next question."
"2.) Hakumen your incredibly powerful but why is it that you still can't defeat terumi by yourself?"
"As has been mentioned before, Terumi is one not to play by the rules. Granted, he is a formidable opponent in martial combat, but his true strength is his ability to anticipate future events, and to prepare for them. If we were to fight to the knife, but with no tricks, no advantages, and no cheating, he would most likely fall under my blade in most of these mock matches. However, he is aware of this, and prepares in such a way to even the odds in his favor. Can you see why the Grimalken and the vampire hate him, so? Your last question."
"3.) What is your opinion on each of the Six heroes? You never really talk about them I noticed, I would love to see how you feel about each one individually."
Thats all XD (ShadowCollector)"
"You already know about Terumi and I, in that we are sworn enemies. As for the other Heroes, or the ones I am allowed to tell you about, Valkenhayn R. Hellsing is a formidable opponent, and overall, a noble individual . . . if he didn't spend his spare time awaiting on that spoiled vampire woman hand and foot. As for Trinity, she too was noble and powerful, yet now is stuck in the body of a child with two other personalities. A shame what has come of her. The last two Heroes I am not contractually obliged to tell you about, and as such, that is all I have to say today."
And I'm back! Miss me? Well guess what I got for you? Another addition to . . . . The Hall Of Shame!
Although it's one I don't have a personal connection to again, so the fucktard of the day will remain anonymous. Okay, granted, there's a lot of people like Guy (we'll call him Guy) out there, in my time period, as well as yours. You see, Guy says he's a fan of . . . let's say fighting games, since I come from one. Guy frequents online communities dedicated to fighting games, and what does he spend his entire time doing?
Bitching, moaning, complaining, whining, and verbally lashing out at fighting games.
"But, he said he was a huge fan of fighting games!" the other people say. "He almost sounds like he hates fighting games!" The other fans call him out on this. They eventually ask, "Do you even like fighting games?"
Guy responds, "Of course I do. I love (insert name of a really obscure fighting game most people have never heard of), I really likes Tekken Tag Tournament, and I kind of like King of Fighters 12." But that's it. He constantly slanders the classics of the genre, the Street Fighters, the Mortal Kombats, the Guilty Gears, saying they're "overrated." He insults the taste of his fellow fighting game fans regularly. And he repeatedly rants about how fighting game developers "aren't doing enough", that "true" fans like him should fight for better entertainment in our fighters.
You see, Guy is what I like to call an Anti-Fan. Anti-Fans are not like haters, for haters don't claim to be fans of whatever they hate, yet Anti-Fans are just as vicious in their rhetoric, if not more so. Their dilemma is that they see flaws, or what they perceive to be flaws, blow them completely out of proportion, and claim that they could do better than the developers. They are incapable of enjoying their products of amusement, and they are responsible for angering countless droves of people.
To Guy, I have to say this; if you hate 97 percent of all fighting games out there, maybe fighting games aren't for you. Maybe you like RPGs more; play those! Or maybe you like shooters more, play those instead! Hate Angry Birds? Try a different casual game! If you keep obsessing over a genre or series or whatever that you hate that you think could be better, you'll lose your god damn mind! And if you keep spreading your dysentery online, you'll infect us with your stupidity, too! Some things you should just let it be, man. Just let it be already.
Alright. That's enough for today. Nice to see Hakumen gettin' some love for once.
This is Hakumen. It is late at night, and the Grimalken is fast asleep. Now is the time I can tell you about the other Heroes.
Jubei and Nine were the most honorable of the Heroes. It was their integrity that has prevented this world from descending into darkness. Overall, you could say I respect most of the Heroes to some degree, but none more so than the parents of the one I am bound to. What irony.
[Author's Note: In case you don't read my Type-Moon or Touhou fanfics, you may have missed my important announcement. Here it goes.
I wish to not concentrate as much on fanfiction in the future. I want to write original stories that I hope to self-publish for money under my true name. I hope to have my first ebook finished later this year. To do this, I will not be able to write as much fanfiction as I used to. Do note that I am not abandoning fanfiction entirely; I do enjoy writing it, and I will continue to write Help Us, Professor Kokonoe in the future. Just keep in mind that I have a new ambition to carry out, and as much, all of my fanfiction projects will be slower to update. Thank you for your understanding.]