I can't think of anything to write up here. I do have a lesson, but it'll be at the end. You'll see why. For now, let's skip straight into a letter!
"Addressing:The Illustrious Super-Genius, Professor Kokonoe
In advance, I apologize for any potential typographical errors that may be present; my browser does not seem to agree with the blog's means of response input."
Don't fret over typos. That's a given for my series. We hear embarce typoes, so tyep on, brother! Type on.
"I admit that I am in a slight predicament here. I used to consider myself fairly proficient in the combat use and operation of the Sankishin-type Susano-o unit; particularly in taking advantage of its weapons range to ensure that those with a more aggressive combat technique would not be able to realize such strategies.
This, however, has become problematic as of recent, given the infamous logistical change known as 'CS2'. As a result, I have found myself increasingly frustrated against some opponents-most notably Murakumo Unit 11, Designation 'Lambda'.
As such, I have attempted to switch over my specialization to remote operation of Murakumo Unit 12, Designation 'Mu', but have had a notable problem; while C- and T- type training simulations are available, there seem to be some missing files and am forced to endure either the 'SA' simulations or attempt direct combat use in my current less-than-experienced state. Given that you are knowledgable in the operation of other Murakumo units, I am hoping that there would be some advice you would be able to impart upon me in regards to finding a method of training in the remote operation of Murakumo Unit 12."
Geez. That sure is an overly complicated way of saying, "I used to main Hakumen, but ever since Continuum Shift 2 came out, I keep losing as him, especially against Lambda. I'm now maining as Mu, and I want to get better as her. Any suggestions?" I should congratulate you over your write-up . . . but I think doing that would encourage more people to do the same.
But you forget something; I'm an NPC, not a fighting game otaku. I think you should look up an online FAQ instead. Preferably a video game FAQ . . . was there a site dedicated to that back then? Well, if not, maybe some fansite would. I can tell you this though about Mu; she's the kind of fighter that's hard to master, but if you should master her, you will become fearsome. Keep playing as her enough and you should find your way. Anyways, what else?
"In other, less technical-related subjects, I am curious as to what types of food you prefer aside from candy. Consider it a matter of curiosity."
Interesting question! I guess you can say I have a sweet tooth. (Don't mean that literally.) I like ice cream, I like peanut butter cookies, and I especially like cinnamon donuts. Not the big ones, the little ones. I'll sure now you're all hungry for these things, aren't you? I'm evil like that.
"Lastly, I am in possession of a large cache of Ferrero Rocher chocolates, and am willing to part with these in exchange for a copy of your seal. I await your response.
(...please let this work...)" (EricAlphonse)
Um, seal? What do you mean? Like seal of approval? A seal from the ocean? I'm afraid I can't negotiate any further, since I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! Sure, I like chocolates, but I don't know what "seal" I have to give up! Now look at how frustrated you've made me! Ergh, taking an ice cream break. Be right back.
(Alexandrite can be heard faintly in the distance while Kokonoe is gone.)
And now I'm back. Today, I felt like giving you more content, so here's another letter!
"Dear Kokonoe(ko)"
Adding "ko" after my name is not funny. Don't ever do that again if you value your appendages.
"Before I begin asking questions, I would like to point out something. When you explained the concept of Anti-Fans you mentioned and I quote 'claim that they could do better than the developers'. This in itself isn't technically bad, so long as they decide to put their money were there mouth is, so to speak. This is the thought process that spawned Project Touhou, and look how that turned out."
Damn it! Why do people keep bringing up TouhouÇ? Oh whatever, allow Makoto to rebut you.
"Thank you, Koko! To Sir or Madam, first, it's Touhou Project, not Project Touhou. Secondly, ZUN, as far as I know, does not hate on video games the same way Anti-fans of video games would. He looked at the market, was not satisfied with what he saw, but did something about it! He said, 'I'll make a game series I want to see!' So therefore, he is in no way an Anti-fan, because he clearly is a game lover to have made all of those games by himself!
But what Koko meant was people who claim they could outdo the developers, yet don't have the means to. Take for instance an Anti-fan of animation. He rants, he claims he could do better . . . except he doesn't have a staff, producers approving of his project, a budget, no creative know-how, and as such, never can produce anything.
Koko's philosophy regarding this is: if you hate something enough to complain about it, do better. If you can't do better, find a similar product you hope to be superior. If you keep obsessing over and over whatever it is you think is flawed, yet still insist you are a fan despite contradictory evidence, you become an Anti-fan, and we don't want that! We want happiness! But now, I turn this back to Koko."
So you do have your uses in the lab after all. Now then, back to the responder:
"On to the actual questions!
1) It is my understanding that Terumi knows all the possible outcomes of the 'Continuum Shift'. If that is so how does he know which of those possibly infinite possibilities he'll end up in?"
Remember in the end of Continuum Shift, he absorbed Takamagahara, which had observed virtually every instance in the history of the universe. Okay, granted, he didn't do that until the end of Continuum Shift, but I reckon that's how he did it, or it's related to that somehow.
"2) Where do you go for vacations? It must be very stressful doing what you doing."
Vacations? I have no need for vacations. If anything, vacations are a distraction from my life's work, and I can't have that.
"3) Silly Squirrel Girl, why is it that you work for this inferior being? Yours is the superior race. It would so easy for your people to band together and take down NOL, Terumi, and all else that stands in your way! Rise up and put those foolishly foolish fools in their place! Mwahahahahahahah!
...I can't believe I just typed that. I must be listening to Foamy's rants a little too much."
Yeah, uh, I know Makoto was, and probably still is a subject of prejudice, but I don't think advocating the opposite extreme is a good idea either. Remember, even though she was a double agent for Sector Seven, she does genuinely like Noel and Tsubaki, two smooth-skinned (near) hairless humans.
Also, Foamy? What? Someone explain that to me, because seriously, what?
"5) Hakumen you claim to slay all evil. You mercilessly kill all those opposed to justice. But in doing so you slay heroes (Ragna fought of the Blackbeast by himself for a friggin' year if my knowledge of BlazBlue cannon is correct) Doesn't that make you evil and therefore you must slay yourself?" (NightmareSyndrom)
Yeah, I don't think Hakumen's gonna fall for your logic trap. He's a Blaz Blue character, not a robot from Star Trek. But then again, my assumption could be wrong. Let me try it out. Hey Haku.
"What do you want, Grimalken?"
Has it ever occurred to you that some of the supposedly evil people you kill might actually be good?
"Explain yourself."
Take Ragna for instance; he's trying to save the world, too, and yet, you keep killing him. And you kill other people that get in your way too, even Tao, all because they obstructed you, in your words! (starts imitating William Shatner) You've . . . killed people, in cold, blood! You've . . . committed murder, all . . . in the pursuit of . . . a concept that is . . . abstract, like, justice! Do you know what the penalty is, for . . . murder?
" . . . The penalty . . . is death. (draws sword) I will now commit Seppuku."
Holy shit, that actually worked! And that is today's lesson, never assume, because when you assume, you make an ass (assume) out of you (u) and me (me).
By the way, there is no number 4 on your list. But don't worry, unlike a now-defunct blog by someone who will remain anonymous, I will not censor your message in any way through rigorous editing. We here at Help Us, Professor Kokonoe believe in raw, honest delivery, evn if it meens itt woldnt pass yor Engurishu testu.