Good God, I'm bored. I thought having this blog thing would end my suffering, but no. What afflicted Rachel is now afflicting me too. Though unlike her, I won't succumb to the tedium. If anything, I should be thanking the loli. Why? Because this is a special time, because I am now going to respond to the last of . . . Rachel Alucard's responses! Yes, the bloodsucker has granted me this opportunity yet again, and now I will make use of it! Let's not waste any time!

"Dear Rachel.

1) Does your house have air conditioner.

2) Asuming Ragna had a blog. What would you ask him?

That is all. Waller out."

She probably doesn't have air conditioning, per se, but rather, has some magical enchantment that works like an AC. That's my guess.

As for a Ragna blog? Oh man . . . knowing his problems, that would be interesting to read.

"That dumbass Kaka showed up again. She kept saying, 'Feed me, Good Guy!' Since no one else was, I did. Only problem was . . . I ended up having to eat-and-run, again. As if my criminal record wasn't bad enough as it was. . . . I came across one of Noel's friends, the squirrel girl. She said, 'Dood, yor just liek Vash teh Stampede!' And I was like, 'Who the hell is that?' She explained. I told her I don't have delirious mood swings like this Vash character. She got upset. We sparred over it. If she's reading this, know that wearing more clothes wouldn't kill you. Do you wanna get arrested for indecent exposure, 'cuz it looks that way from my perspective . . . Jin showed up shortly afterwards. I didn't have time for his horseshit, so I unleashed Gauntlet Hades on him. He was like, 'No fair! I wasn't ready yet!' I said, 'What are you, ten?'"

As for what I'd ask him, I would ask, "Yo Rags, why come u rip of soo miny animes?" I'd say that just for his reaction against my typos alone. But anyways, next one actually starts off with the sender answering one of Rachel's questions:

"Yes Rozen Maiden is not full of Fan-Service and Unfunny Pop Culture References.

Now then Ms. Alucard for my Questions

1.) What are your views to the following critcally acclaimed Children TV series? "Transformers: Beast Wars", "Batman: The Animated Series", "Gargoyles", and "The Animaniacs"

2.) On your opinion who among all of the cast in BlazBlue do you think is the most difficult to beat?

3.) How did you get stuck with the observing job to begin with?

That is all... (PINOY-BLAZEBLUE-FAN)"

I somehow have a really hard time picturing her watching a cartoon of any sort. Except for maybe Grave of the Fireflies, I can't picture her doing that. Then again, the aesthetics of this "Rozen Maiden" look right up her alley.

Okay, according to the wiki, you wanna know what she thinks of the Beast Wars version of Transformers, the animated Batman series from the 1990s, Gargoyles, and Animaniacs? Gee, 90s much? Of course, knowing her, she'd probably lambast Transformers for being a toy commercial, Batman for dressing up in a ridiculous costume, Animaniacs for being overly zany . . . actually, she might like Gargoyles. Looks like something else up her alley.

I personally can't comment on any of these shows, because unlike one of my Sector Seven residents, I don't obsess over videos made from ink. You know, this would probably be worth asking to the real Rachel, but good luck getting an answer that doesn't insult your intelligence. Then again, I could always coerce her into another guest spot.

Hardest character to beat? Well, I've heard some people say Hakumen is a pain in the ass. Think about it; he's got a long reach, does a ton of damage, can take a lot of damage, and unlike poor Tager, can airdash. I dunno if Rachel would agree with, but that's what I would answer.

And her job as an observer? I think that falls under the "We can't tell you because it could spoil a future game clause." Regardless, next letter.

"Dear Charismatic Gothic Lolita of Good Manners,

I've been having some trouble... No, it's not my firend who was obsessed over you (by the way, thanks for the advice on that matter. He only goes nuts when I beat you in-game, or kick his butt as her. Both reactions of which I find rather hilarious.), infact, it's... Terumi... The bastard set up a game booth where if you stay calm for 30 seconds, you win ten bucks. Fail and you lose 10 bucks. HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSE TO WIN WHEN THAT SNAKE BASTARD'S TROLLING IS GETTING US! I'm pretty sure I fell for a trolling method he used on one of the previous players!

You sure as hell know what runs through his batshit insane mind! help us out here!

From,

The Anti-Social One

P.S.: I say "we" and "us" is because I'm not the only one to fall victim to his tactics. (The Anti-Social One)"

Ha! I see through your trap! You're referring to an online comic from your time period! (also, I LOL at your comment of "Charismatic Gothic Lolita of Good Manners.") Yeah, it was called Blazen, and there were comics about what you just described.

But I think I know how to win this challenge. You see, Terumi feeds off negativity. Therefore, you just gotta counteract with positivity! Watch as I use my dialog predictor program to play it out!

[Terumi] Oh look, it's the bastard offspring of two of the Six Heroes!

[Me] Yes! Mommy and Daddy were glorious!

[Terumi] Indeed! The way their guts were splattered was just glorious!

[Me] True true!

[Terumi] That's why I made sure to fuck your mom before killing her.

[Me] . . . . . . BASTAAAAAAARD!

Okay, that didn't work out as well as I thought. Hmm, that is a good challenge. I wonder how many achievement points you could get for winning that? Or is that one of those things that you're not supposed to win? Whatever. I got one last question directed at Rachel:

"Dear Rachel,

First, I'd like to thank you for answering my previous questions, and for reviewing my work, even though it wasn't to your tastes.

I really appreciate the input, as I'm still rather new at writing fiction. Which brings me to the second part of this message.

Do you have suggestions for improving one's literary style? Other than enjoying writing first and foremost. On a side note, what are your preferences in authors and genres?

One final querry: what are your thoughts on American writer and poet Edgar Allan Poe? (Tod 1166)"

Oh, this is from that guy that wrote that one-chapter fanfic! Kudos, man! I looooove seeing a fanficcer turning a brat like her into his plaything! Genius!

Anyhow, this submission is timed for chapter 19, yet Rachel actually mentioned Poe in chapter 20. Coincidence? Probably not. I know she likes him, since she recommended one of his short stories, which, coming from her, means a lot. Wait, she already answered your question, but didn't even credit you! That fucking bitch!

As for her preferences in authors and genres, I'm guessing "Gothic Horror" is a pretty safe bet for her. I wanna also say Harlequin Romance, but that would be obvious trolling on my part. As for authors? Judging from the way she speaks, I would guess Dickens.

Unfortunately, these are the last of her questions that are worth giving a damn for. Unless if she makes a comeback, or unless people, for whatever godforsaken reason, flood her inbox with submissions, every question I answer from here on out will be those directed at me . . . or my associ-

-"(beep)!"

Huh? My mobile . . . it looks like it has something uploaded . . . a video . . . I wonder what it is.

(The video plays. It shows a petite woman, wearing a red and black dress sitting arrogantly upon a throne made from a cat.)

"You presume too much, Kokonoe. I have had the opportunity to see those animated programs for myself. Allow me and me alone to describe my thoughts on them.

The recommendation for Rozen Maiden was a good one, however, it was originally a manga, and I found that to be more enjoyable. Nonetheless, I have now acquainted myself with the music of Ali Project.

I could not bring myself to stomach Transformers nor Animaniacs-"

"-YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"

" . . . Do not speak out of turn, Makoto Nanaya. These are my opinions, not yours."

Wait, this is live, not pre-recorded?

"Are you daft? Of course this is live, Kokonoe. Now, if you'll let me finish, I am not fond of wacky humor nor giant robots shooting at one another, however, despite your prediction, I actually enjoyed the animated version of Batman. I felt it was appropriately dramatic and action-filled when it needed to be. However, you were correct on one thing; I found Gargoyles the most enjoyable out of all of these shows. I am not normally fond of products from the so-called 'House of Mouse', but I must make an exception for this. Despite being targeted at mortal children, I found it most compelling, despite falling far outside of the target audience. Suffice to say, I have found a few children's cartoons that don't make me roll my eyes in disgust.

As for favorite authors, yes, I like Poe and Dickens, but to list off every author that doesn't insult me with their understanding of language would leave me here all day. Oh, but Kokonoe, you neglected to offer advice to your readers to assist in their miserable lives."

Oh, well, uh, I was gonna get around to that, but-

"-But your incompetence is preventing you. (sighs) I will cover for you, so that you may save face.

To those reading this, you would do well to know that to get through life, it is necessary to, in mortals' words, enjoy the small things in life. I have been alive for many a long year, and whilst I do get bored from time to time, I have lost my mind yet. That is because I make time to enjoy things that do not infuriate me. Later this evening, I will go for a stroll, and pick a fight with whomever crosses my path I find worthy. Later, I will unwind to the sound of Mendelssohn, then practice reciting the poetry of William Blake from memory. Through this, I keep my mind active, and avoid ending up in despair. True, I am only repeating advice Kokonoe gave quite some time ago, but it is good to reiterate such advice to the peons who still read this, so that they may still function properly in society. That is all." (The video ends)

Hey, that doesn't count! Okay, here's the real advice; if someone comes over, make sure you invited them first. Easy as that. This way, you can avoid what I just suffered. Until next time, suckers!