Hello everyone and welcome back to another chapter! A big thank you to those who reviewed…
VampWolf92
ym4yum1
Call Brandybuck
hogwartswonderland
allylovesklaus
And a big thank you to those who favorite, following, and added me to their authors list! A really big thank you! Sorry for the late chapter. I got a new computer and summer is now here! I'll try to work on getting the chapters up sooner but I won't make any promises. With those things said, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything besides my OC's!
~oOo~
The following morning I woke up with a rather bad feeling in my stomach. After last night I feel like I've totally lost all confidence in the troops about me. I didn't mean to talk in my native tongue but it's so hard not to use it. After I realized what I've done I ran back to my cabin, throwing off my shoes and crawling into my bed where I stayed there. A short while later, my Uncle came in, sitting down beside me telling me that what I did was nothing to be ashamed of.
Yet I felt like one of them for the way I spoke…
A Nazi…
God…they must fear me…hate me…why must this be my fate?
"Lily, stop this. You cannot stay here; you have an obligation to help train these men to fight the very men you believe you've become. You cannot stop just because you spoke your native language." My Uncle said and I snapped my head towards him.
"They think of me as one of those damned Nazi's they hate as much as I!" I shouted at him. "They hate me! And I hate myself for making such a stupid mistake." I shouted at him.
"Are you talking about the troops as a whole or are you talking about just one in particular?" I froze and turned my face away from him. I always managed to convince myself that my uncle could never read me and yet I find myself corrected.
"He probably hates me as well. They all should." I muttered, hiding my face in my pillow.
"Steven does not hate you because you spoke German or for standing up for yourself. From what I saw, he looked impressed." My Uncle said.
"Really?" My Uncle nodded his head from where I looked at him from the corner of my eye.
"A little surprised but impressed none the less." He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Get some sleep sweetheart, you need it for tomorrow." He got up and walked over to his own bed. I sighed and knew he was right. I'll need all the strength for tomorrow's run and I shouldn't stay up late, no matter what tomorrow might bring. I got up from my bed and went into the bathroom to get ready. As I laid my head down that night all I could see was Steve's face of fear, of disgust, of hatred.
I just want to be normal.
~ (Dream) ~
I was back home again; my home in Germany. Everything was dark and broken down into nothing but rubble. Homes looked torn apart and stores were broken into; their glass windows shattered and its contents spilled all over the street. I walked down the deserted street in my bare feet wearing nothing but my nightgown. This place seemed to be dead and everyone how lived here disappeared.
"What happened to this place?" I asked no one; out loud as I walked past possessions of the people who once lived here. I picked up a photograph and noticed that it was of my family. We looked do happy in the picture, all smiling for the family photo. There are no more smiles anymore.
"It all shall burn…"
I stopped and looked around but no one was there. I continued down the road and it seemed to get warmer. There were faint noises that I wouldn't make out that started to make my ears itch.
"All power belongs to me and I shall recreate them in my image…." The way the voice said that made we want to turn around; to go back but my feet kept moving forward. I knew where my feet were taking me…I just didn't want to go back there.
"I will burn your world to ash…and no one shall stand in my way…" The factory was on fire and the screams got louder as I got closer and closer. I struggled to get away; to force my feet to stop but they just kept moving.
"No! NO! STOP!" I shouted and screamed but nothing worked as the flames grew higher and hotter. An evil laugh made my blood turn cold as it echoed off the buildings. The gates to the factory opened and walking burning bodies came at me. I recognized most of them and others I couldn't tell from their burnt bodies.
"Give up this effort to move on…you are the one to blame…they are all dead because you did not listen!" I watched as my parents came closer and closer, screaming hateful words at me.
"WHY DID YOU KILL US?! WHY LILY!? YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS SHOULD YOU HAVE LISTENED! YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN!" They shouted together and I covered my ears.
No…
No…..
It's not my fault….
"HOW COULD YOU LEAVE US? YOU COULD HAVE SAVED US BUT YOU RAN! YOU'RE A COWARD!" Tear fell from my face and everything they spoke was true. I could have saved them if I only tried harder. But I ran…I don't deserve…I can't…
"Give in to what I offer…accept defeat…allow me victory…" The voice no longer felt angry but much softer; relaxing and smooth. My feet stopped and I felt hands all around me; grasping and clenching. My head was spinning and everything was burning; the heat becoming too much I felt faint.
"We love you…" My eyes snapped open and I saw my parents' faces. They had soot on their faces but so were smiles. "We love you so much our flower." My mother and father touched my face with their cold hands.
"NO! I will not allow this hope….this light…give in to the dark…" The voice became angry once again and the hands tried to drag me to the ground; into the dark.
"You must fight our flower. You must free yourself from this blame." Their faces were that of worry and I released my ears to each for them. "There was nothing you could have done. Free yourself from this darkness, this pain and know that we love you very much."
"Mother! Father!"
"NO! I WILL NOT ALLOW THIS! GIVE IN TO THE DARK!"
"We love you! Never forget the pleasant memories for they will help you remember the fight we always taught you. Do not give in! Remember how we were and not as we are now!" They said and I felt my mother kiss me on the forehead. I heard them whisper I love you as the dark voice screamed in anger and pain…
Then the blinding white light…
~ (End of dream) ~
"NO! MOTHER! FATHER!" I woke up screaming, pounding on the chest of my Uncle as he tried to wake me.
"LILY, LILY YOU MUST WAKE UP!" My Uncle shouted but it sounded muffled and lost somewhere as I tried to reach for my mother and father who were fading fast. When my eye sight finally cleared I was breathing heavy, tears falling from my eyes as I gripped my Uncle's arms but not tightly enough to hurt him. "There you are." He said and started to pet my hair like he always did whenever I had a nightmare.
"Uncle, I saw them…they were all burned and I couldn't save them…" I said, my chest heaving. "I could feel their pain and my body would move. Their screams…my god Uncle their screams were so loud…" My Uncle held me closer as my tears returned.
"Shh-shh little one it is only a nightmare." I pulled away and shook my head.
"It wasn't a nightmare Uncle it was real, I saw them. They looked so horrible but they were smiling at me; telling me that they loved me and were proud of me." I said and wiped away tears, trying to calm down. My Uncle didn't say anything and I didn't care because I know what happened wasn't just a nightmare. I got up from where I sat and moved towards the bathroom to get ready.
That shadow, that darkness the woman told me about invaded my dreams, my memories and toyed with them to try and make me weak and to allow myself to fall.
Not bloody likely will I allow such a creature to trick me into giving up.
"Are you alright Lily?" My Uncle asked through the door of the bathroom. I shook my head, snapping out of my thoughts and turned towards the door.
"Just give me some time Uncle. I'll still jog today but I just need to a few moments." I said and started to calm myself down for my morning jog. I got myself washed, my hair dried and brushed and put into a pony tail, my jogging clothes lie out and ready to be worn as I dried my skin. Once dressed and ready to go I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. "I can do this, I can do this." I said to myself before I walked outside.
I only hope my worst fears stay within my mind and do not appear in the world I live in.
~oOo~
"You look like hell." Steve said breaking the silence once we started the group jog. I hung back behind the group so I wouldn't have their eyes staring at the back of my head.
I smiled at the small man who is jogging at my pace. "I guess that is appropriate for last night." I answered him and returned my attention to our jog.
"You did what you had to." Steve said and I sharply turned my head to Steve. "Hodge got what he deserved." I turned my head away and slowed down my face.
"You're not mad at me? With what I did or speaking like….them?" I asked and dreaded the answer he would give me.
"I don't like bullies." He said and I felt tears prick my eyes. "You're not a bully and there's something about you that I don't understand. You're not who you think you are." I looked at Steve and noticed that he was breathing heavy.
"Thank you Steve." I said and gave him a smile. "Try not to die during this jog today." Steve shot me a look and I laughed. This weak small little man is making me smile. Maybe I was wrong about my fear.
We jogged a few more miles before we made it to the halfway point. By the time most of the men were out of breath along with Steve but I had yet to break a sweat. Steve kept glancing in my direction as we jogged with this look and I kept laugh along the way. Even though we didn't make any conversation it felt like we did. Steve kept a smile on my face and I kept pace with is slow speed considering I could go faster due to my condition. The drill sergeant called back to us but I simply glared at him whenever he looked back at us to quiet his thoughts about pushing Steve way beyond his limit.
"Pick up the pace ladies!" He called as we approached the halfway flag. I simply rolled my eyes at his tone. "Let's go! Faster, faster, pick up the pace!" He shouted and I noticed Peggy sitting in a jeep doing paper work. She gave me a wave and I waved back. "Move! Move! Squad halt!" the men stopped and Steve kind of staggered to a stop behind him.
"Are you alright?" I asked him when I came to a stop behind him.
"Never better." He answered out of breath, breathing heavy to a point where I worried that he might pass out.
"That flag means we're only at the halfway point. First man who gives it to me get's a ride back with Agent Carter and Miss Summers." Steve looked at me and I gave my shoulders a shrug meaning I didn't know about that part. "Move, move!" All the men made a mad dash to the flag as if their lives depended on it.
"Think about it, Steve. Brains over muscles." I whispered to him. "Get the flag and I'll answer any questions you have, rattling in that head of yours." I pulled away from Steve's ear and gave him a wink before jumping in the back of the jeep. Peggy gave me a canteen of water and I thanked her for it, taking a swing of it while I watched the men try to climb the pole.
"Get up there Hodge!" The sergeant instructed and I silently wished the man would fall flat on his ass. I noticed his bandaged hand and I gave him slight praise for pushing his luck with it. "No one has gotten that flag in seventeen years!" After a few seconds the sergeant called everyone back in line.
All listened except for Steve.
"Rodgers! I said fall in!" He shouted and Peggy and I watched as Steve removed the peg holding the pole in place, letting it fall to the ground then picking up the flag, handing it to the sergeant.
"Thank you sir." He said and hopped in next to me with a grateful smile as I handed him the canteen.
"Very impressive Rodgers." Peggy said and gave me a look that made my cheeks heat up. Darn it, she reads minds!
"Thank you ma'am." Steven turned towards me with a smile on his face. "I believe you have answers to my questions." He said and I chuckled at his attempt at a smooth, charming demeanor.
"Once we get back to camp meet me at my cabin after you have cleaned yourself up. I have a place where we can chat." I said to him and I noticed that despite being sweaty and hot his cheeks turned a darker shade of red. I giggled and Peggy gave me a smirk as we drove back.
The jeep stopped in front of the mess hall where Steve and I went our separate ways except I stopped in the mess for some sandwiches for us. Once back at my cabin I took a quick shower to wash off my sweat and stink then getting dressed in a summer type dress I brought with me. Just as I packed away the sandwiches and canteens of water someone knocked on the cabin door. I smiled and opened it to see Steve all cleaned up and nice looking. Even though he was dressed in a clean white t-shirt and workout pants he still looked better than before.
"Follow me Steve." I said, grabbing the bag and locking the cabin door behind me.
"May I carry the bag?" Steve asked and I handed it to him with a smile.
"Thank you Steve." I said and lead him to a hill were a single willow tree looked over the military camp. We sat down under the willow tree where its shade made the hot air cooler along with the ground. "What questions shall we start with?"
"Who are you?" He asked and I simply smiled at his question.
"My name is Lily Summers. I was born in a small farming town before my family and I moved to a larger city so my parent s could be closer to work. I grew up with little friends, hard working parents, and the passion to prove to people that a simple farm girl can be smart yet beautiful. My mother always kept complaining that since I had my face stuck in text books, she would never have grandchildren before she died." I laughed as I looked over the camp. "I guess that is not going to happen now."
"What happened to them?" Steve asked me.
"The Nazi's came and took over our town. At first they did things in a subtle way that no one would have taken notice but then they started to get bolder. One day on my way home from my studies a Nazi army attacked the factory where my parents worked." My mind went back to that day as if the world around me started to fade to the place where I watched my parents die. "I remember the sky turning red and the ground shaking beneath my feet. Everyone was panicking; running for their lives as the Nazi's lined up the workers and shot them against the wall." I turned my face to Steve as a lone tear ran down my face. "My parents died in that fire. I couldn't claim their bodies because there were none to claim. With the chaos I was forces to leave; packing my things and moving in with my Uncle." I wiped tears away and took deep breaths.
"I'm sorry that happened to you." He took a pause. "But why do you think you're not normal?" I chuckled at his question.
"Remember when the General was explaining the 'super soldier' training to you?" Steve shook his head. "My Uncle was developing a serum to create the perfect soldier in Germany when I moved in with him. A part of Hitler's science division found out what my Uncle was doing and force him to make it for his own army. When a test serum was almost complete there was a slight complication to it."
"What was the complication?"
"Who would we test it on." Steve's eyes widened and I guess he realized why I call myself not normal. He shook his head and grabbed my hand like he thought I would disappear.
"They didn't…they couldn't!" He said with a stern voice and I smiled sadly; tightening my hand he held.
"They didn't. I did." Steve was taken back.
"What!"
"They wanted someone who would be a perfect candidate without betraying their creators. While they slept one night, I snuck down into the lab and loaded the serum into a syringe. I injected myself with the serum and right away I felt the change." The way Steve looked at me made the courage to continue my story, grow. "Right away I felt pain. My whole body felt like I was burning and my head would split in half. I remember screaming and my Uncle banging on the doors but they wouldn't get in since I locked the door. It seemed like forever until the pain went away. I felt my bones crack and break then regrow and my whole body transformed. By the time they broke down the door I was unconscious. I did it for my Uncle."
"Why happened to you?"
"My body was made tougher, stronger than before. I am able to take more of a beating along with my senses have improved. I am far from a perfect soldier though." I explained to him. "There are often times where I get horrible headaches and sometimes I just get these waves of pain. To most people I've just become this pretty doll to look at."
"You're more than just a doll. You're a person." Steve said and I continued to smile at him.
"If you were to look at me now Steve, what would you see? Most people see a young pretty girl and yet underneath, a part no body truly sees, they will find a girl who did everything she could to protect her family. After all the things that have happened I am still here and I don't understand." I said to him in a pleading voice.
"You're here because you fought back! You can't see the chances you've been given as bad!" Steve almost shouted.
"I see that now Steve." Steve's face in a bright red color I couldn't help but laugh at, reaching into the basket to offer him a sandwich. "There were some dark days before I arrived here in America. I can see why you all take pride in that statue near New York." I chuckled as Steve looked at the ground while eating the sandwich. We were silent for a while before I spoke again, my eyes turned once again to the camp. "Can you make me a promise Steve?"
"What is it?"
"Never allow me to fade. Never allow me to forget myself in this fight because there are days I feel like I shouldn't be here. I'm scared Steve. I don't want to be like the others lost and forgotten." I said and I told him the truth. There are days I felt like I would just fade into the background as no more than a pretty face with a sad tragic past.
"I promise you that, only if you do the same for me." He held out his hand and gave me a sold look. "I won't allow you to fade and you won't allow me to either. Keep pushing me and I know I can prove them wrong." I took his hand and gave it a firm handshake.
"Yes! We will prove them wrong!" I smiled at him and Steve smiled back.
After the handshake we became friends. In that single moment we made a promise to each other that we will prove the world wrong. We will not simply fade into the background but stand out among the stars. No matter what is ahead of us we will face it with all that we are. My Uncle was right on one thing he told me when I awoke from injecting myself with the serum.
"Life is full of many choices. Uncertain are fears and happiness. Only we can decide what those choices will be."
Steve asked more questions and I answered them without fault. He was extremely interested in my life and it felt good to talk to someone other than my Uncle. I asked question of my own and I was surprised to hear the Steve is color blind.
"So, everything appears in black and white for you?" I asked him, finishing my second sandwich.
"Yep. It makes it difficult when picking out clothes with colors and stuff like that." He said. "What color are your eyes Lily?"
"They are actually golden in color. They were a yellowish color but they turned gold after the change. Do you have a picture in your head?"
"Yeah, I do. Thank you."
"You are most welcome."
When the sun had finally decided to set we headed back. Steve was a proper gentleman and dropped me off at my cabin first. In return I kissed him on his cheek as a thank you and enjoy the way his cheeks flushed. He quickly said good-bye and left as though his feet were on fire. I giggled as he sped away. This man maybe weak on the outside but his inside is the most handsome heart I have ever seen.
I am beginning to like America.
~oOo~
OH MY GOD IT'S DONE! FINALLY! Review and let me know. I hated this so much, I do not like how it turned out in the end. Damn writers block…