Dear Fanfiction

by snazzyflower

Gods! Can't you people understand that NO, we do not have any magical siblings who resemble the authors, Nico and Leo will NOT date your crazy OC's or Mary Sues, there are no children of two gods and Artemis and Apollo are JUST SIBLINGS. A collection of short letters to the readers and authors of Fanfiction from the PJO and HoO characters.

12. Hard As A Rock, Dionysus

Dear Fanfiction,

Just because the little brats helped saved my people from Olympus does not mean I'm going to go all soft and start calling them by their correct name.
Nor does it mean Zeus is going to let me come back to Olympus.

(Just because he closed Olympus doesn't mean I'm inside Olympus at the moment.)

I'm not going to be all nice and help those pathetic little Demeter kids grow their plants or any other demigod with their stupid problems.

You people need to grow some brains.

I will never go soft.

Not without my wine.
And I'm not getting that for awhile.

Hard as a rock, Dionysus.

P.S. If I can't drink wine, you think that my children could, either?