AN: First Date

Chapter twenty-five: First of Many

Bella, February, 2011…

We didn't wait until the sun came up to get up. Jasper was up at five am and I followed. I didn't leave him out of my sight all morning.

We went out on the ranch together and while I didn't partake in any of the chores, I didn't want to leave Jasper alone.

He wasn't amused. He admitted to me that I was doing the one thing he hated. Hovering; watching him like a hawk when I should been more understanding than anyone else and give him space. He wanted me to offer him soft answers and let him know that I was here for him, but I didn't. To me, that wasn't what Jasper needed. He needed this. He needed the hovering. It looked like everyone else gave him and gave him time to berate himself until he thought the worst of himself and lashed out stayed away and make bad decisions.

Look who was thinking like a therapist? But I think I'm right. Jasper needed the hovering.

"Tough shit," I said. "You nearly choked me to death last night, and I'm not scared, I'm mad as hell about it. These things shouldn't be happening to us. We should be happy."

Jasper smiled and didn't ask me to leave after that.

Maria and Rose moved around like grease lightning all morning while I stuck to Jasper's side. Edward must have found about what happened and so had Peter.

Peter called and even though he wasn't on speaker phone, I could hear him berating Jasper for doing that to me. I wanted to grab the phone and tell him to stop it, but Jasper took it.

The only problem was he felt worse afterwards. And proved my theory right. He would allow them to make him suffer for hurting me like how Ricky made him suffer for his mother leaving an abusive asshole.

Jasper looked like shit after his talk with Peter and wouldn't even look at me. I was so pissed off! He smiled this morning. He talked to me. He laughed and by lunch he was right back to feeling like shit. I called Char and told her what happened with Peter. And he got a tongue lashing and called Jasper and apologized.

I got a slight smile then.

Edward didn't attack Jasper for what happened last night. He berated me. He wasn't happy about me walking into a situation that I didn't understand and said that Jasper could have easily hurt me. He said it happened in college and Jasper nearly knocked his ass out when he did what I did; tried to help.

I actually laughed at Edward. "One day, James thought I needed a lesson in manners because a co-worker had come over for dinner and mind you, he had beaten me the night before so I was less than willing to prepare a three course meal from scratch so I ordered out," Edward remained silent while I spoke, "I almost got away with him not finding out about the 'ordered' meal until he found the boxes in the kitchen bin. Needless to say, I was beaten, and because his lessons always turned him on, he raped on the dining table while choking me." Edward couldn't say a word and I took it as a sign to go on, "What Jasper did last night doesn't compare to what I went through with James.

I walked away after that because I didn't need to say more and Jasper was my main concern today. There would be no cooking, no creating, and no distractions. Today, nothing mattered but Jasper.

Around early evening, I convinced Jasper to follow me to the main house so we could search for a book to read together. I didn't allow him to watch television or play any games. He needed peace and quiet but I wanted to stipulate his mind.

He let me drag him over and I was almost sorry for it. I loved the Whitlocks but I really wanted to lash out at them right now. Maria and Rose were so skittish around Jasper. Tanya looked terrified and I hated it.

"Where have you been all my life?" he asked when I found the book I wanted. Edward smiled from his place in the room. He was researching something. The room was quiet enough for him to hear us but he didn't butt in. I silently thanked him for that when our eyes briefly met.

"In another state," I looked down at Jasper from the small ladder and smiled.

My statement made him laugh. But his family's lurking was bothering me too much to continue with our lighthearted banter. What was up? Something was wrong with this picture. I wanted the whole damn truth. What happened with Ricky?

When I couldn't stand their nervous energy anymore, I shouted, making everybody jump, "Stop it! That isn't helping him."

Maria and Rose jumped at the thunder of my voice. Edward dropped his book with his mouth gaping and Jasper was stunned.

"Come in here," I called and Maria, Rose and Tanya walked into the library. "Just ask him something, anything! Don't just watch him. It's freaking him the fuck out! It's freaking me out."

"We're scared of what will happen if we mention anything unnecessary," Maria said, with her eyes on her son.

"I'm aware that I don't know everything about what happened, but Jasper told me that he was kidnapped by your ex," Maria looked at Jasper with wide eyes. "Don't. He didn't tell me everything but I know it goes deeper than a kidnapping. I know the guy is dead, because Jasper didn't mention if he was serving time anywhere. So what? One of you killed him?"

Maria's eyes grew impossibly wider. Edward was eyeing all of us. "What? Edward didn't know?"

"No, Edward guessed. He just didn't say anything," Edward answered.

That was what I needed. "See? Edward is cool with it. So who did it? Was it you, Rose?"

Rose looked at all of us. "No."

The moment she said it, I knew who did it and I turned to him. "Why?"

Jasper looked down at the book in his hand. He looked so innocent. It was like he wanted to crawl into himself and hide forever. "He was hurting my mom and he told me that he was going to kill her whenever he got his hand on her. He didn't care about the money he asked for. It was all about getting my mom to him so he could kill her and then himself. He said he and her were going to be together forever." Jasper looked at me then; his beautiful blue eyes were on fire with rage that I only became aware of last night. "He wasn't going to take my mother from me, Bella. And when he was on top of her, choking her, and she was losing the fight, I realized that he…he was winning. He was going to get what he wanted. He was gonna make her suffer until her last breath. I had to protect her, Bella."

"And now, you have to protect me from James?"

"Yes."

"Then let me protect you from your nightmares," I countered.

I watched the rage flee from his eyes. I watched the storm in them pass, leaving behind the crystal clear blue of them for me to stare into as he nodded 'yes'.

"Good," I told him and then turned back to his family. "Now, none of you will stand in my way. Not even you, Esme," I said, noticing her off to the side, standing by the door. I focused on her expression and it let me know that she had heard everything I had said. But I wasn't scared and I wouldn't be persuaded otherwise. "I will help him."

I angrily left the room after that. I stomped off because it was all taking a tool on me. But my time alone got me thinking.

Jasper was put in a horrible position as a child and he had to do something bad. His family protected him but that didn't stop Ricky from haunting his dreams. Ricky sounded like such a bastard. And one I knew all too well. He sounded a lot like James. I have been in Jasper's shoes to an extent. I knew what it felt like to us when we dreamed them. I knew the choking the feeling. The despair. The helplessness and the need to wake up. I knew it all. I hated it all.

Jasper and I met up after his talk with Esme. He said she would be checking up on him. I was relieved with that. Maria, Rose and Tanya played it cool for rest of the day. Emmett dropped by and was playful. He made Jasper forget. Edward was understanding.

By nightfall, Jasper was almost back to being the guy I was falling for. I was happy. No remnant of the scared guy who was sorry he'd almost hurt me was in sight.

When we climbed into his bed together, I wasn't scared. I buried myself in the safety of his arms and whispered that I couldn't wait to see him again as sleep took me under.

Jasper whispered his thanks, "Thank you, Bella."

~~abt~~

"Fuck," I muttered to myself while going through my closet. "What am I going to wear?"

Usually, a question like that wouldn't bother me, but not today. Today was special. I was going on my date with Jasper and I had no idea what to wear.

We had a hard day yesterday. Between stumbling into a family secret and acting as protector to my 'boyfriend', Tanya thought that it was about time I called him that, Jasper and I needed nothing but relaxation today.

Everyone barely talked about yesterday and Ricky came up, Maria would say, "Good riddance," on the topic of him. She seemed relieved that Jasper could talk about it with someone else and she shared with me this morning that she wouldn't said anything without his say so but she was glad I knew the truth; I knew all of her baby.

I smiled and accepted her gratitude. But I didn't know whole thing; I didn't know Jasper's history. But I wasn't thinking about it. Today, Jasper promised to take me somewhere very relaxing before he left for the main house. He was so excited that I didn't want to kill his mood. I know he said that we could share things, but I'd simply talk to him later about this. I didn't want to pressure him for any more truths.

"Arrgh!"

"Something wrong?" Rose asked from my doorway.

"Shit!" I jumped, "you scared me."

"You amaze me," she said in return.

I looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?" I was frustrated and lost. I needed something to wear.

Rose walked into my room and sat on my bed. She cocked her head to the side and smiled while eyeing me in my frustration, "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" I had no idea what she was talking about!

"Stop and care when everything is telling you to run," she said. Oh. Her brother. The night before last night.

I sighed and told her with my back to her, "I stop to fight. Jasper needed it whether he was willing to admit it or not."

She took me in; assessing whether she believed my reasoning or not and then smiled and got up, "Well, thank you."

"You're welcome."

Rose came over to me and gently pushed me aside. She scanned my closet and then pulled out a white cotton dress and it to an amazed me. She went over to my jewelry box – I had bought it in town after my payday – she picked out a ruby earring and necklace set and then she topped it off with a pair of boots.

"Thank you," I said, still amazed that she did that without breaking a sweat.

Rose smiled and made her way out the door, stopping only to say, "My brother is a jeans and t-shirt kinda guy, Bella. He's definitely gonna go for comfort on this date. Plus, he loves picnics."

I nodded and blushed at the mention of Jasper, remembering the day I walked in on him, naked. "What's got you blushing?" Rose asked.

I debated whether or not to tell her and then confessed, "I sort of walked in on him naked the other day."

Rose laughed. "Oh my God and you two continue to keep your hands off each other?"

"I'm holding things up."

"No," Rose said sternly. "You're taking your time and I'm glad my brother is respecting that. He's a great guy, Bella. Take care of him."

"I will."

Rose left me to get ready.

I went downstairs twenty minutes later after deciding there was nothing else to fix. I was dressed, my hair and makeup were done and all I had to do was wait, so I sighed and plopped down on the sofa with a car magazine that Emmett had left over here.

Jasper walked in about five minutes later and I realized that Rose was right about her brother. He was a t-shirt and jeans kind of guy. But he wore them so well! He had a picnic basket in his hand and a smile on his face that could melt any heart.

"You look beautiful, darlin'," he complimented.

"You look great. If I'm a little rusty, I apologize beforehand. I haven't been on a date in a while."

"Duly noted, and I ask the same apology of you too," Jasper smiled.

"We're on the same page then," I laughed.

Jasper stepped closer and wrapped one hand around my waist; pulling me into his body and kissed me on the cheek. "Yes we are."

Jasper led me to the garage and over to the red Camaro that made my panties wet just by looking at it, and opened the door for me and then he loaded the picnic basket in the back.

During our drive, Jasper and I talked about everything we liked. It was a short drive and we reached our destination in time probably because of the break neck speed Jasper loved to drive in. But also, it was just another part of the ranch; the outskirts of it. I got out of the car with a marveled sigh as I took in the valley in front of me.

"This is…oh my god!" I turned back at Jasper and said. I was so thankful for the clear day. The sun was high in the sky; giving way to the promise of a wonderful day that I would get to spend with Jasper.

He had parked out on the dirt road and then we walked, hand in hand, the rest of the way through the open field. Jasper led me over to a huge tree where the gentle wind and the huge tree, made it the perfect spot to sit and talk. He had taken a huge blanket with him and he laid it out for us to sit on.

"Ma'am?" he said with a smirk and then helped me down onto the blanket.

"Thank you," I smiled and sat and watched the white fluffy clouds float in the sky while taking on different spaces as they glided along.

When Jasper was finished unpacking our basket, I asked, "So, what did you make?"

He smirked and then blushed, "How did you know I made it?"

"Sue," I smiled and Jasper laughed happily.

He motioned to the wrapped sandwiches. "Well, I know I'm not as good a chef as you, but I made us some flank steak sandwiches."

"Which I think will be delicious," I commented, making him blush again. "Mmm…I made a cowboy blush."

Jasper leaned forward and kissed me gently. "Yes, Ma'am, you did."

"Mmm…what else did you bring?"

"A Sunset Cooler," he said, "and for dessert, a fruit salad."

I kissed him again. "Sounds great!"

My first date with Jasper was more than I could ask for. It was easy and fun. He made me laugh so many times, I nearly choked on my food. His high spirit fueled me. I felt elated. The day couldn't have been more perfect.

We talked about happy memories and things that made us smile. We talked about family and how much I loved his and him wanting to meet Phil and Charlie. He could do without ever being face-to-face with my mother.

My head was currently in his lap. We were asking each other any questions we could think of.

"What's a perfect day like for you?"

"Today is one," Jasper answered immediately. "You, a sunny day, and we're in one of my favorite spots. I'll have to take you to my place on the islands and see what I think."

I kissed the back of his hand. "Why have a place in the Caribbean?"

"I love being close to the sea sometimes, and I rather to do there," he replied. "Why did you love your trip to France to see Micah?"

I had told him about the trip I took with Phil before college to see Micah get married.

"Because Phil and Micah were something I envied and then I realized I had no reason to because I was a part of their family."

"What did you envy about them?"

"Micah had a parent that only cared about making him happy, I didn't."

"What changed your mind?" Jasper asked while playing with my fingers and kissing my knuckles from time to time.

"Micah. He called me his sister," I said, feeling a little choked up. "James made me lose sight of that."

"I'm sorry," Jasper said with a kiss to my forehead.

I nodded and went on. It was my turn to question him. "Why didn't Edward like Alice, but he likes me?"

The mention of Edward made Jasper laugh. "He saw right through her. But I was forcing myself not to see what my friends were warning me about."

"Why?"

"I wanted to believe that if I loved her enough, my demons would rest and Alice…well, she would change."

"I understand," I said solemnly and I did. Jasper just wanted to be happy. "What about Edward?"

Jasper laughed out. "The first time Alice and Edward met it was strange but made sense all the same. He didn't like a thing about her and he flat out told her that."

I laughed because I was rapidly beginning to see that. Edward spoke his mind and wasn't afraid to.

"What do you mean?"

"He wasn't playful like with you and Alice made a comment and Edward outright told her that he didn't like her."

Jasper chuckled and I couldn't stop laughing. He looked at me for a while and then asked, "Why are you two becoming friends?"

"Who? Me and Alice?"

"Very funny."

I smiled smugly and then giggled, "Edward and I hold each other's secrets."

"Edward has a secret and he told you?" Jasper smirked down at me.

I nodded enthusiastically.

"I bet I can tickle it out of you?" He held my sides and I started to beg.

"No! No! Jasper!" I was afraid of my sides. "Edward is begging me to let him tell you himself. He didn't even mean to. I guessed it. But he wants to bug you for a while."

"Hmm…he wants to tell me himself?"

"Yeah, I'm sure it'll slip out," I advised.

"I don't know…" Jasper started to tickle me and I tried to squirm away but he had me trapped. "I still feel that a proper tickling is due." He tickled my sides until I was screaming for mercy.

When we calmed down, the dessert section took a serious turn with Jasper's apology. "I'm sorry, Bella. I don't think I'll ever stop saying it," he insisted, "and I want to make it up to you."

He was right. He wouldn't stop apologizing. He didn't abuse women so he saw what he did as incredibly wrong. But I saw it as otherwise. In my head, he didn't hurt me. James had done far worse. "You'd probably think I'm sick for saying this, but the way you grabbed my neck was nothing new," I said to a silent Jasper. "I've gotten worse."

"That shouldn't have happened to you."

"No, it shouldn't have," I agreed, "but it did and I can't let run my life or scare me away from you."

Jasper smiled broadly before kissing my forehead and then my cheeks and my lips. I would have been lost in the kiss if he hadn't pulled away. "I want to teach you self defense, even against me," he said, forcing me to gather my thoughts.

I sat up on my knees. "What?"

"I want you to know how to defend yourself," Jasper said with conviction. "I've been thinking about this and Emmett even asked if I thought you'd be interested in learning how to use a firearm. I told him I'd ask you."

"Thank you," I whispered softly in gratitude.

"You can think about it," he said nervously. "You don't have to agree."

"Yes."

"Oh, you want to think about it?" Jasper said mistakenly.

"No, I mean, I want to do it…all of it. Yes."

He smiled and jumped up, hugging me. He was correct. If Jasper had more nights like the night before last night, I should be able to defend myself even against him. Although, I'd only use it on him if necessary.

"You are so beautiful," I sighed before leaning in and taking his lips between mine.

When we pulled away, he chuckled; the deep, rumbling sound of it vibrating through his chest. "You're mistaken, darlin'. You're the beautiful one; I can't stop looking at you."

We stayed out there until the sun was setting in the sky. We sat and watched as the glorious day gave way to a lovely evening and then we left with me making Jasper promise to take me back here.

"It's now our spot," he said and then kissed me.

We drove back to the house hand in hand, stronger than we'd left. As each day passed, and each secret made itself known, I found something I didn't know existed. True love. And my heart was overflowing with it for Jasper. I wanted to be everything I could be for him; a friend, a lover, a protector. And I wanted more.

Jasper pulled the car to a stop in the garage and I was jolted from my deep thoughts. "We're back."

"Yeah."

Jasper came around the car and stopped in front of me. His brows knitted with worry. "Is something wrong?"

Words were pointless to me. They wouldn't convey what I wanted to say. "Bella…" just hearing his rich, tangy, delectable tone as he said that sent me into a frenzy that I didn't even know I was capable of until I grabbed him.

Our lips crashed together and Jasper immediately responded; backing us into the wall behind me while my body screamed in satisfaction. He wrapped me in his strong arms. My hands swiftly moved to push his jacket off and gathered up his shirt, burying my fingers beneath. His hands glided up and down my sides, gripping me tightly as our kiss got hotter. Jasper's tongue plunged into my mouth and I groaned; he tasted so sweet.

His mouth tore away from mine and slid down to my neck. I sighed and arched into his touch, giving him better access. And when the annoying need to breath got in the way, he pulled away. His eyes were dark, the pupils dilated, and it made me feel like I was staring into a rage filled ocean.

Still, no words came. Just our heavy breaths.

And when we couldn't stand to be apart anymore, I pulled him back to my lips; clinging to him for dear life as his tongue passed over my own in the most delicious way.

"Mmm…Bella," he groaned into my ravenous mouth. I gripped the hair at the nape of his neck, tilting his head and taking control of the kiss. Jasper chuckled and deepened it. He shifted his weight from one foot to the next, and suddenly, I felt all of him. His hard body was rocking into mine and his erection was massaging my heated, clothed center; teasing me. My mind was screaming at me to stop him; to remind him about us going slow, but my heart was screaming at my mind to shut the fuck up and live. So I mewled and writhed against Jasper. I let go. I stopped fighting myself and felt…everything.

Our mouths collided over and over again. Our hands roamed each other's body. Our breaths grew labored and when we couldn't hold on anymore, we both let go; gripping and clinging to one another as we swam back to Earth.

When Jasper finally raised his head from my shoulder, we stared at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

He looked apologetic as he started to pull away, but I wasn't having it. I wasn't sorry. He lowered me to the ground, helping me to smooth out my dress as he started, "Bella, I…"

"I'm not sorry."

He was stunned. "You're not?"

"No," I smiled and kissed him gently. "We're taking it slow, right?"

He chuckled, "Yes."

"So…" I started while backing away from him. "I'll see you later."

He smirked and I melted on the spot. "I'll see you later, darlin'."

'Later' became dinner with Tanya, who surprised me with her lasagna, which I complimented her on.

'Later' turned into a movie marathon with Jasper, myself, Tanya, and Edward, who'd come over at dessert. I watched him steal looks at Tanya when she and Jasper weren't looking, and when he caught me, he winked. I winked back, letting him know that I was still holding his secret. Though I believed that the sooner he let her know, and tell Jasper about it, the better.

And finally, 'later' became Jasper and I curled up in bed together, our arms wrapped protectively around each other; two buddies falling asleep together, ready to ward off each other's nightmare. What more joy could I have in my life than Jasper? What more could he give me?

I don't know. But if it included him, I couldn't wait to find out.