Author's Note: Sorry if this chapter isn't up to par, I've had a lot of stuff to deal with lately. It's just not been a good 2015 so far.

[James Potter]

Friday, February 13, 1981

Hey Harry.

It's your dad. Now, I could start off by saying how much I wanted to write to you, how much you've grown, blah, blah, etc. But I won't, because if you're anything like me (or Lily, to be honest), you know when you're being bullshitted. And you won't hold with that shit. So I'll cut right to it.

Now I know, as an infant, you expect everything to be about you (Yes, I'm aware you're not an infant when you're reading this. Shut up). But this is not about you, little Harry-kins.

Today is about me, and my suave-ass skills.

But tomorrow? Tomorrow's about Lily.

Yes, that's right, Harry, you have probably guessed it already, but tomorrow is Valentine's Day. And I am going to be the best goddamn valentine your mother has ever seen in her life.

Now you may be wondering how I intend to execute this marvelous plan. Perhaps you have your own fair lady who you wish to woo. Well never fear, son, because I am here. And I have the ANSWERS. So sit back, relax, and just read, because I am about to tell you the greatest romance plan in the history of romance plans.

So first of all, I'm going to make her breakfast. Now this may not seem like much, but you probably know that I can incapable of making food. You may be asking yourself 'but dad, why make breakfast if you can't cook?' but you have failed to grasp the brilliance of this plan.

After failing to make breakfast, I will go out and buy breakfast. I will give it to Lily as breakfast in bed. That way, she gets edible food, but she will notice that I first tried to make it, and then failed. Birds are suckers for things like that- the thought that counts. But no, not just the thought will be given, she'll get the thought AND eat a delicious breakfast. Do you see the brilliance, Harry?

So second, I'm going to give her flowers. Here's a key note, Lily is not amused when I tried to give her flowers that she was named after. It's lost the novelty. Unfortunately, I learned this through trial and error. So I'm getting her roses, because she is used to me giving her lilies, and will be pleasantly surprised by roses. Plus roses are the classic. Can't go wrong.

And then we're going to go flying.

Now you may think 'dad, why go flying? That's your thing, not mum's'. And you'd be right. But you just don't understand yet.

Now while I LOVE flying and quidditch, you mother is not unopposed to it. She likes to fly, she just doesn't like the extreme speeds, or the stunts. So we are going around on a very calm, very relaxing riding around the woods out back. There's a lake not too far in, I've been out there quite a lot, you know, as Prongs.

And then we're going out to lunch. I made reservations at that muggle place in town, the one your mother likes. Um, well, I can't exactly remember the name at the moment, but I'm sure it will come back to me.

And of course I've already bought her plenty of chocolate.

So, what do you think? Am I the greatest husband in the world, or am I the greatest husband in the world?

Feel free to applaud. I know you want to.

Most joking aside, I'm really proud of this plan. I think it's going to go great- Lily's gonna love it.

And I even asked her friends what Lily likes! I am the best husband ever.

I also made sure to NOT ask Sirius for advice. I've learned my lesson with that.

Today's not the day for that story, so I'll just tell you it involved three cans of shaving cream, burnt caviar, twelve pink tiaras, and one very confused seagull. On the upside, her nose never wasn't great looking to begin with, and I never really wanted to go back to the Tate Modern anyway.

But that's all in the past, and NOTHING is going to ruin this Valentine's Day for Lily and me. And anyone who tries to interfere, I'll castrate them with a rusty spoon, don't think I won't. That's everyone up to and including Voldemort.

Well, I suppose I should go now, and figure out what that restaurant's called. But I'll talk to you again sometime soon, okay?

Alright, goodbye.

And wish me luck?

Just kidding- I don't need it.

Love, Dad.

Author's Note: Yes, I know, it's a tiny bit OOC. But he's head over heels, we know that from canon, and he has grown up a little bit.

But there you go, something sweet for all of you who celebrate Valentine's Day. And if you don't, or you're in the dumps about not having a sweetie, here's something that might cheer you up: James Potter making dad jokes. Just imagine it.