Author's Note: I'm really sorry. And thank you so much to the people who left reviews on the last chapter. You're all very kind.

[Peter Pettigrew]

Friday, March 13, 1981

Hello Harry. It's er, it's nice to see you. Again. I uh, haven't been here in awhile, have I? That's because I'm busy. With, you know, the war. And stuff. So I bet you were surprised to read my name again, right? Hah.

So it was Remus' birthday this week. It's too bad I wasn't there, the four of us usually tried to spend birthdays together. Too busy, I guess…

I haven't really seen anyone recently. People are, you know, doing things. No one really has much free time anyway. So I guess it's not just me. I mean, of course it's not just me. There's no reason that I'd be more busy that anyone else. Everyone's got the same problem.

I originally had something to do today, but Lily insisted I come over. Normally, I wouldn't have given in, but she was very convincing. And I haven't been here in awhile. James was happy to see me, as well. Not that I wasn't happy to see him, I was.

It's just that I think James is going crazy locked up here. He's always been a very social person, and he doesn't like not being able to interact with people. Not to say that you and Lily aren't people. You are, of course. But James is used to more people. And he's used to doing more than staying home.

I don't know why he and Lily are still here, actually. I don't think, I don't think that they even know why. It's all hushed up. I mean, why can't we know? Dumbledore doesn't tell anyone why he does what he does.

People say he's got his reasons, but I'd like a little more reassurance. I mean, he's holding our lives in his hand, shouldn't we get more information? We're risking our lives; shouldn't we get a little more trust?

Of course he's doing the right thing. No one could doubt that. I just don't like all the secrets. No one does, right?

I don't know what to think. I don't know what's right anymore.

But maybe I'm just talking nonsense. Maybe secrets are a good thing. After all, most people have secrets, right? You don't need to tell everyone, everything. As long as you're doing the right thing, maybe it's best to keep secrets.

I just… Sometimes I don't know whether Dumbledore has our best interests in heart. NO! That came out wrong. I don't mean it like that.

It's just- lives are important, right? People are important. Safety is important.

Sometimes… It feels like Dumbledore's more concerned with the big picture than the people. Than the lives he's putting in danger when he asks us to fight this war.

No, no, that's wrong. I don't know how to say what I mean. It just comes out wrong all the time.

Anyway, I got to go.

Dumbledore's just doing what he thinks is right. We all just have to do the same.

Peter

Author's Note: I really owe you guys more of an apology, but 'I'm sorry' is all I have. There's no big explanation.

This is the chapter for last week. The chapter for this week will be up tomorrow.