AN: The aftermath.

Chapter forty six: Jasper comes home and Bella makes rash decisions. Vicky wants to know what happened.

Bella, May, 2011…

Jasper stared at me. I felt a little nervous under his gaze as it intensified. The crystal blue of his eyes seemed to darken the longer he looked at me. "What do you mean you're leaving?" he asked in a deadly calm tone.

"I have to go. I should've done this from the moment I realized James found me, but I fell in love with all of you. I was in love in you, Jasper, and I grew selfish. Now, I've stayed too long and for what?!"

He looked confused for a minute but it quickly gave way to his anger and then he just looked pissed. "What the hell are you talking about, Bella?"

"Jasper, I have to go." I wanted to do this peacefully. I wanted to go through that door and know that I won't be a danger to Jasper anymore. I could do something right this time around. I could keep someone I loved safe, instead getting them killed.

But Jasper wasn't seeing the big picture. I could see it in his eyes. He was thinking of me and our baby's safety. He didn't realize how close he came to James hurting him.

"Jasper, you have to understand."

"No. I don't," he sneered at me and I tried to ignore the pang of hurt I felt when he spoke to me like this.

"You have to try," I said to him. "I can't do it again. I can't let James take someone I love from me. You came so close. I came so close to losing you and not being able to face Maria again without regret. I will not cause another mother to hurt because of me. I won't endanger you any longer."

Jasper didn't answer. He just stared at me. I needed to go but he was blocking the door. I approached, trying to make my way around him, but he stepped in front of me. He towered over me and I felt intimidated, but not as threatened as I would have felt if it was James standing in front of me. I knew Jasper wouldn't hurt me.

"Jasper, please move out of the way so I can leave." I tried to walk around him and he stepped in front of me again.

"No."

I sighed in frustration and stepped back. "What are you doing? I have to go!" I was losing it. And every stubborn move Jasper made further pissed me off. I knew James. He didn't. It was as simple as that.

"I'm not moving because you're not leaving," Jasper said. I moved to talk and he held his hand up, signaling that he wasn't finished. "I'm not letting you go because if you leave you're playing into James' hand. I know I fucked up. But you weren't there and I wasn't about to stand there and listen to him talk about you like you were a piece of meat or a toy he liked to fuck with."

"He was playing you."

"I know!" he yelled. "And I'm sorry I lost my temper. But I am not sorry I beat his scrawny ass. I'm not sorry for wanting to kill him. He's a monster."

"One that can hurt you," I told him. "Is that what you want? You want to leave me?"

Jasper looked at me incredulously. "What the fuck do you think you're doing to me? Do you think it's easy to listen to you say you're going to walk out the damn door? What about me? What about our baby? Are you going to go out there and let James get his hands on you so he can rip our child out of you? 'Cause looking into that monster's face and seeing the evil that lives there, I wouldn't put it pass the fucker. I can bet that's what he's got planned. He's gonna find you and rip the baby out of you, kill me, and then take you back to his dungeon in Sacramento!"

I hated to say it, but everything Jasper said made perfect sense, even if it wasn't going to break my resolve. I was leaving.

"I'm not going let anything happen to our baby."

Jasper chuckled darkly. "But you still wanna go?"

I didn't answer verbally.

He sighed and ran a hand over his face while he moved away from the door, heading over to the stairs. He sat on the bottom of them with his elbows on his knees. His posture was stiff, laden with his anger and I was so sorry. His eyes, when they met mine, were the worst. They were dejected and his gaze was growing cold.

"You know what? To hell with this," he chuckled humorlessly. "You want to go? Then go. Don't let me stop you. Leave, Bella. Take care of our baby. I don't have the strength to fight you on this. And the more I talk, the less you're gonna get it. We'll just continue to argue while we go in circles. You've made up your mind and I'm being a fool if I think I can stop you."

What was he saying? "Jasper, I…"

"I don't want to hear it," he said coldly. "All I wanted was your trust. I wanted you to trust my word and know that I would never let James hurt you. I wanted you to trust me as much as you love me. But you can't. You trust James more and I can't stand it."

"What? I don't…"

He sprang up and shouted, "Yes you do! You believe that fucking piece of shit so much you're running off because he's got you scared. Yes! I get it! You've been with him for years. You're experienced when it comes to his brand of evil. I know!" His anger was going through the roof but he was still pleading with me. Tears were running down his face as they flowed down mine. "But you were shown the light, Bella. Phil got you out and an unfortunate incident led you to me and my family. We fell in love with you. I fell in love with you! I have never felt this strongly about a woman before, but I can't do it. I don't how to fight anymore."

"What are you saying?" Was he saying what I think? Was this my wakeup call? Was this reality dumping cold water on my fantastic dream?

Jasper glared at me and chuckled again. "I'm not breaking up with you, Bella. You're breaking up with me. I'm just stating the facts. I'm telling you the reason why you feel the need to break my heart."

"I'm not breaking up with you, Jasper!"

"Yes, you are."

"No!"

"YES! You are."

"I'm not!" I shouted. "I'm leaving because this is the only way I can keep you safe."

"You're leaving because you don't trust me."

"No!"

"Yes! You're leaving because you're scared of James."

"Yes! But I trust you. I just want to…"

"Shut up!" I jumped and stayed silent when he said that. "You don't trust me. If you did, you wouldn't be on your way out the fucking door! You wouldn't be risking our baby's life. You wouldn't be breaking my heart." He choked back his tears. "I love you, with all of me, but I can't do this if you can't trust me. I love you. I trust you. But I can't keep doing that if you're always gonna be running scared, Bella."

"Jasper, please…" I cried.

"Go. You're the one doing this to us. I was coming home to grab a shower, find you and grovel at your feet for being an ass because I couldn't control my temper around James. But I'm not being the ass, you are. You're not fighting James, Bella. You're helping him win."

Jasper got up and made his way up the stairs. I stood there by the front door staring at his back until he walked into the darkened hallway that led to our bedroom. He opened the door, walked in and slammed it shut behind him. The echo made me jump.

The front door opened behind me and her voice filtered into my stunned brain. "Bella?" Tanya said calmly. "Bella?"

I couldn't answer. I couldn't speak. It was over. I was…what was I going to do? It was over. James didn't cause this. I did.

I don't know how I got to the car. I don't know how I got in. I don't know who drove. I didn't care. I saw trees go by. I heard the purr of the engine, but nothing mattered to me more than the dejected look on Jasper's face and the tears in his eyes.

A terrifying sob ripped through my chest and broke from my throat. The car stopped and someone got in the backseat with me. They held me to them and rocked me while I screamed and cried. The car started to move again.

Houston has been a blur for the last week without Jasper. My heart broke every day and I feared the nights. Esme and Zafrina have been to see me. Esme feared the stress I was putting myself under. Zafrina feared a miscarriage. I heard them and I understood but nothing mattered without Jasper.

I heard from Jasper through texts and short calls. He sounded awful and it broke my heart some more. He wanted me to eat and stay healthy for the baby's sake. He didn't mention anything about us. He didn't say he loved me. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but by the time I built up the courage to, he hung up and I would cry myself to sleep.

Today had been full of activity on my divorce proceedings' end. Edward and Peter would be hearing from James' lawyers tomorrow. They were going as fast they could and pulling out all the stops to get me divorced from James. Edward considered it easy enough seeing as I wasn't seeking a thing from James, only my freedom. Peter was gearing up for James' retaliation. He was convinced James would try to drag me through the dirt before he consented to the divorce. Edward reminded me that this was why Jasper wanted us to wait. His name caused me to break down and Tanya berated Edward for saying that to me. But he wasn't wrong and I told him so.

A talk with Peter let me know that Jasper wasn't fairing too well. Maria and Sue thought it would be best if I stayed in Houston. Jasper was taking the…I didn't see it as a breakup, I refused to, our time apart very hard. They thought we should take this time away from each other to think.

But I couldn't. Not anymore. I was wrong and Jasper needed to know that.

"Bella, do you want me to stay?" Tanya came to my bedroom every night to ask me the same question. For the past three nights, I have been having terrifying nightmares. I have woken Tanya and Edward up on more than one occasion. I fought them off and even punched Edward in the nose. He said he forgave me because I was too sad for him to fuck with me. I wouldn't be any fun. I gave him a small smile.

"No," I said quietly. I have hardly spoken above a whisper since being at Tanya's. And I only spoke when necessary.

Zafrina found this behavior unhealthy. She wanted me to go back to Henderson. She was upset with me for leaving. It wasn't just because Jasper was a good friend to her, it was also because I was wrecking all we had worked for. This was no longer a stress free pregnancy.

"Bella, it'll be okay," Tanya said, coming to sit beside me on the bed. She took my hand in hers, squeezing it reassuringly. "This isn't over. You and Jasper are meant to be. I don't give a shit what happened. This is a rough patch and you guys are going to get over it and move forward. You'll see."

I nodded. I wanted to believe that. I really do.

"Things will get better," she said, getting up. She ran a hand through my hair, said good night and left the room.

I stayed up after Tanya left with my phone in my hand and my finger lingering on the call button. Jasper's name was highlighted and I wanted to press 'send' so badly. I didn't get to. I chickened out and fell asleep.

I was back in college sitting on my favorite bench. From here, I could see Garrett get out of class. People were moving around, going about their business or sitting on the grass, chatting with one another and taking in the cool breeze. I was safe here. It was my favorite bench. I could see all I wanted to see from here. I was content here.

"You should go home."

Garrett was ethereal as usual. He was dressed in a white dress shirt and khaki pants and black boots. But his usually happy persona was marred by anger. He wouldn't look at me and my heart was breaking.

"You hate me too?" I asked, choosing to look out at the people instead. They were happier than me anyways.

"No." he sighed. "I will never hate you, Bella."

"You should," I countered. "You're dead because of me."

"I'm dead because of James," he fired back. "You didn't kill me. You made my days brighter and worth living. You do the same for Jasper."

"Don't," I begged him. Any mention of Jasper made me cry. "I can't talk about him."

I moved to get up, but Garrett stopped me. "Don't. Sit and listen. You've always been too stubborn."

"What?"

"Shut up," he ordered. "Now, Jasper is good for you. He's the best thing that's ever happened to you. He's the one for you. There will never be another man who will love you the way he does."

I looked at him in astonishment. But Garrett ignored that and went on, "You're walking away because you're stubbornly, continuously, blaming yourself for my death. But listen to me, Bella Swan, you're not to be blamed! You didn't kill me. I'm here for you because I love you and I never blamed you. Not once. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret. If things had worked out another way, you wouldn't have met me or James."

"What are you talking about?"

"Destiny."

"What?" What was Garrett talking about?

"I'm talking about fate, Bella. You were always meant to meet Jasper. No matter how long it took, he would've come into your life. It's just that if things had worked out, it would've been a lot sooner."

"Like when?"

"Like when you were sixteen, and Phil got an invitation to a business thing in Houston. Jasper was with his dad at that function. If you two had met, you would've hit it off." I moved to talk but Garrett shut me up. "Shut it. Don't tell me any bullshit about age difference. Just fucking listen to me. You would've met Jasper. You two would've kept in touch and things would've worked out."

"Well, it didn't happen."

"I know," Garrett said sadly. "For that, I'm sorry. But he's here now. Don't fucking let him go. You're killing him right now and you're dying inside. Go home and put yourselves out of this fucking misery."

I loved my friend. "I love you."

"I love you too," Garrett sighed.

"I never would've met you."

"Maybe we would've met some other way."

"But you loved me at one point, what about that?"

"I see the truth. It was always Jasper," he smiled. "But it work out that way, and we're in this situation and yeah I love you. I always will."

"You're my angel."

"I am. Now go home."

"I will."

I woke with a start and a renewed vigor. I got up and started to pack. It was the middle of the night but I couldn't be stopped. I got dressed and grabbed my things. I wrote Edward and Tanya a note thanking them and telling them that I was going home to Jasper.

I made my way out the door, knowing he was here. He was probably in Jasper's penthouse. He never came over, but I knew he was here. I just knew it.

I took my things and crept out of Tanya's penthouse to see Sam standing in the hallway. He was a picture of calm as he leaned up against the wall with one foot crossed over the other.

"Are you ready to go home now?"

"How did you know?"

"I stand out here every night around this time wondering when you're going to come to your senses."

I didn't know what to say. Sam didn't sugarcoat things. He was being truthful and as much as it hurt, I welcomed it. "What if I hadn't?"

"I would've dragged you back kicking and screaming because I'm not about to miss another night without my wife because you and Jasper can't handle your emotions."

He stood tall and then walked over to me. He moved around me and headed inside Tanya's place. He walked back out a minute later and took my bags. We went to the elevator. Sam pressed the button. "What did you do?"

"Complete your note. I told Edward and Tanya I was driving you home."

The elevator opened and we stepped in. "You make going home sound simple."

"It is."

"We said things."

"Like every other couple. We all say shit that hurts and then we say we're sorry and work it out."

"But.."

"But nothing. Jasper lost his temper like James wanted him to and you were running scared. The only problem with James' plan is, you didn't run to Charlie."

"What does my dad have to do with this?"

"We had a mole."

"What?" Sam's cool attitude was pissing me off. "Who? Is Jasper safe? Why aren't you with him?"

He chuckled and shook his head, saying something about me and Jasper being alike. "Let me answer all those questions in order. Yes, we do. Jake, who protects your dad, and I figured it out that a new guy named Chad was working for Laurent. Jenks set things up to make it look like you were heading to Charlie's. Your dad was informed and he was in on the planning. Maria took over for Jasper. Jake met the guy and beat him to a pulp. Jasper was pissed. He didn't get to."

"What about…?" He gave me a look and I stopped and let him continue.

"Now Jake sees your dad as an uncle to him so he was more than willing to kick Chad's ass. Yes, Jasper is safe. I'm not with him because I'm on strict orders to not leave your side until you're home. That should cover it."

When we got off the elevator, I walked with purpose through the lobby. I was going home to fix this. I was wrong to leave and I was going to apologize to the man I love and tell him that I would never make this mistake again.

James, May, 2011…

I was pissed but Vicky was happy to see my battered face. "What the hell happened to you?" she laughed when I walked through the door. "I didn't know doctor's convention could be so eventful."

"I met Jasper."

She snorted. "He's stronger than he looks in his pictures. You look like you were in a car wreck. What did you say?"

I chuckled. "You know me too well."

"I do. So what did you say to him?"

I smiled, remembering how Jasper's face contorted when I told him how good my Marie was in bed. He needed to know that everything she knew, I taught her for my gratification, not his. He manipulated her and stole her from me. "He didn't like knowing I was the only man for Marie. He realized he didn't stand a chance and got pissed."

"Well, is the asshole in jail?"

"I didn't press charges."

"WHAT?"

"No," I said coolly. "That would ruin things. Marie will want to run now. She's scared and thinks I'm about to come and pull her out of her little love bubble."

Vicky smiled. "You sick bastard. You planned this. Make them feel safe and then drop them on their asses."

"Exactly," I chuckled and sat down carefully with a hiss. The country hick was strong. Had a lot of anger. He was lucky though. I wasn't afraid of him. Sure, he rattled me for a minute, but it quickly passed.

"What are you going to do now?" Vicky asked, coming to sit beside me. She kissed my cheek and I accepted it for now. Soon, it would be Marie tending to me.

"I'm going to sit and wait and see."

My plans didn't go the way I wanted. Marie didn't go to Charlie as I previously thought and Laurent's mole was severely beaten by the dog protecting Charlie Swan. But I had a plan B.

Renee was going to visit her daughter very soon.

Bella, May, 2011…

It took three or so hours to get home and I didn't sleep all the way there despite Sam's advisement to. I couldn't close my eyes until I saw Jasper's eyes staring into mine. I wanted to tell him I was sorry and I was the dumbest person on the planet to walk away from him. I was willing to grovel. I was willing to take whatever he threw my way.

Sam asked what I was thinking about and I shared my plans with him. He said it wasn't needed. Jasper missed me too much to even think about punishing or spiting me for leaving.

"Besides, you're both dumb anyways," he said. "I wouldn't have let Emily walked out. He could've come and seen you every day of this past week but he kept chickening out. Kind of like you. You two are meant for each other."

I smiled at that.

When we pulled up in front of my home, I sighed in content. I was wrong to leave this sanctuary.

I was out of the car before Sam could stop me. Not that he was. I ran to the door. It was unlocked so I slammed it open and went inside. The house was in almost total darkness. Only the moonlight illuminated the room. Jasper's slump figure was seated on the couch. I made a brave step forward and he stopped me.

"Don't." His voice was hoarse and almost unrecognizable. I ignored him and turned on the light.

I gasped in shock. The living room was in disarray. It looked like a tornado had gone through it. "What happened?"

"I happened," Jasper said, getting up and staggering. He chuckled to himself but there was nothing to laugh about. He looked horrible. His hair was a mess and he looked like he hadn't showered in days. "I didn't see a reason for it to look normal. Nothing's normal."

He took a swig of the bottle of Jack in his hand. "I'm sorry."

Jasper laughed at me. "What for?"

"For being an asshole."

He blinked in disbelief and then stared at me. "What?"

"I said, I'm sorry for being an asshole and I'm here to beg you to forgive me."

"Bella, I'm too drunk to be fucked with."

"I'm not fucking around," I said strongly. "I'm serious. I love you with all I am and I'm so sorry for acting like a scared idiot. I jumped the gun. I panicked. But I want you to know, I trust you. You were wrong about that. I just thought I was protecting you. I can't lose you, Jasper."

He made his way around the couch while I spoke. He put the bottle down on the end table and he ran his hand over his face in attempts to sober himself up. "Bella, please tell me you're not messing with me. Say you're not a fucking dream."

I laughed for the first time in a week. "I'm not fucking with you. I'm not a dream. I'm a fucking nightmare but I love you too much and I'm way too selfish to let you go. I love you, Jasper Whitlock and I'm so fucking sorry."

He grabbed me and kissed me hard. We staggered around until my back hit the wall. Jasper pulled back to ask if I was okay and then to tell me he loved me. I told him I was fine and returned the sentiment. We kissed until we were breathless. And when Jasper pulled away, he placed a hand on my stomach and kissed my forehead before kneeling in front of me to kiss my stomach. When he said, "Welcome home, baby girl, I missed talking to you." I cried.

He got up and pulled me into his arms. He led me over to the couch where we stayed in each arms until we fell asleep. Resolution could wait until tomorrow. Tonight I was finding peace in Jasper's arms.