AN: Visit to Zafrina and baby's heartbeat.
Chapter forty eight: Heartbeat.
Bella, May, 2011…
It was daybreak but I didn't want to open my eyes. Everything in me didn't want to leave the blissful dream I was having behind. Jasper was naked and ready to do very naughty things to me. Something soft and wet touched my lips. A finger parted them and something sweet was placed into my mouth. I sucked on it, moaning at the taste of the tangy fruit. Jasper groaned and buried his head into my shoulder.
"I love it when you make sounds like that."
"Really?"
"Mmm…" He laid soft kisses along my neck. "They're bound to get you in trouble though."
"They will?" I asked, knowing he'd make good on his threat as I ran my hand up his thigh, palming his thick cock before he moved away and I pouted.
"Now, that's gonna get you kissed."
"Please do." He fed me his lips and they were as sweet and tangy as the fruit he had pushed into my mouth. He moved away and I chewed the cherry.
"Do you want more?" he said huskily, his soft breath fanning my ear.
"Yes," I whispered breathily, stroking him. I could feel his dick pulsating beneath my touch.
"Oh Bella…" he groaned and moved away again.
"What?" I said innocently. He started this.
"Behave."
"We both know you don't want me to."
He chuckled deeply and heaved a sigh as he fed me another cherry. "You're so beautiful," he said, letting me bite into a strawberry after the cherry. I moaned at the sweet taste of the strawberry and at his words. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me and ran a hand down his cheek.
"How did I get so lucky?" I asked him.
"I'm the lucky one."
"To find a girl that causes so problems?" I chuckled sarcastically.
"You're more than worth it."
"Why?"
"Because I love you."
"Why?"
"Because you're the best thing that ever happened to me. Because you make life sweeter and more exciting. Because you keep me on my toes. Because you've been challenging me from the moment you fainted right in front of me. You forced me to feel, to want something more, to think that I deserved more than any woman had ever been willing to give me."
His feelings and the truth behind them shone in his eyes. Now he needed to hear mine. "I'm going to sound cliché and say, you're my knight in shining armor." We chuckled together and I went on. "You're the man I never knew existed, yet you make me feel like you were always there, in shadows, waiting for me to come and find you. You're my rock. You're everything I have always wanted and so happy to have. I'm so sorry for leaving. I was scared to lose you to James. I didn't want a repeat of Garrett. I didn't want someone else dying at James' sadistic hand because of me, and if it had happened to you…I don't know what I would've done. I just know I wouldn't have been able to go on without you."
I needed that. I had to apologize for being foolish enough to leave him. I shouldn't have walked out.
He looked at me with a slight sad expression before covering it with a warm smile. "Don't be. I'm happy to know that I mean so much to you. But I was wrong too, Bella. I was stupid for letting you go. I should've been right out the door and after you the minute you left. It won't happen again. Believe me."
"I do."
"I like those words."
"You do?" I smirked at him.
"Yes, and I hope to hear you say them in a different setting one day," he hinted.
"I hope so too." The thought of being his wife should scare me. It didn't. I trusted Jasper. It was a hard to do, to trust someone, but I trusted him. He would never intentionally hurt me. "I think I'll like being Mrs. Whitlock."
He ducked his head into my shoulder, but not before I caught a look of uncertainty on his face. I pushed him off, wanting to know what the look meant. "Hey, look at me." He played stubborn for a bit, but eventually obliged and met my eyes. "What was that look about?"
He wouldn't say. "It's nothing."
"Jasper?"
"Bella, it's fine."
"It's not fine. Don't play stubborn with me. Tell me."
He sighed. "Bella, are you sure you'll be happy with me? What about who I was? How I used women? What about James? Are you sure you want to take that leap again? That man did things to you. I know I want you to trust me and love me, but I'll understand if you can't. I know you want to. I believe you. But Bella, it's okay if you don't want to marry me. I'm fine just being the man who will always be there for you. The man who will always love you."
I took a minute to just look at him. I felt like I didn't deserve him. Yet, I had him and I wasn't about to let go. "I'm happy to know that you'll be there for me no matter what decision I make in the future," I paused and he held his breath like I was about to deliver bad news. "I have no intention of letting you go. I don't know what the future holds but I know it will be alright as long as you're by my side. I want you."
A single tear fell from his eye. "Are you sure?"
I wiped it away and kissed him. "I'm sure. There is no future without you, Jasper. It's you and me against the world, or in our case, crazed, jealous exes."
He laughed. "I'm happy to have you by my side."
"Good. Now…" I cocked an eyebrow at him, running a finger down his chest. "We're losing sight of the game."
"Yes, we are," he said, leaning forward for a kiss I gladly give him before biting my bottom lip. "I believe you were being fed fruits?"
"I believe I was."
His smile grew as he reached for a slice of pineapple. "Lie down," he ordered gently and I obeyed. I stretched my arms over my head, letting my breasts fill his view. He growled softly and moved down to take a nipple into his mouth, biting and sucking it. I reached down and ran my hand through his thick hair, holding him there. His soft lips and the gentle nibbles against my sensitive nipples felt good.
He pulled away and I pouted. He chuckled softly, "You're so sexy, baby. I love those pouty lips and I'll bite them if you keep doing that."
"Maybe I want you to."
He groaned. "Bad girl."
"You like it."
"I do."
He circled one of my nipples with the pineapple and then put it in my mouth. I chewed a little and then accepted his heated kiss while his cock throbbed against my thigh. When he pulled away, I was breathless. "I want you."
"I want to play."
I frowned because I was so turned on, I wanted to jump him, but he wanted to continue to tease me. He got up and went for the plate of fruits he had on the dresser. I eyed his naked body lustfully, paying close attention to the engorged cock nestled between his strong legs. He caught me looking and smiled and shook his head. I didn't care. I will openly check him out any time.
"Ready again?" he asked as he made his way back to the bed.
"Yes."
I was fed more fruits. I loved the tanginess and sweet taste of all of them, but what I wanted the most was him inside of me. The juices ran down the sides of my mouth as I bit into them and Jasper made quick work of the mess by licking it up before pulling me into hard kisses. He wasn't helping me one bit. If anything, he was driving me insane with lust and a need for him.
"You taste good," he whispered.
"You too," I whispered back.
"I wonder if the rest of you taste as good as your lips," he pondered aloud like he didn't already know. I think I should find out." The man's mouth was a gift.
He put a piece of fruit in his mouth and trailed it down my stomach. He stopped at my navel, dipping the fruit there. I moaned loudly and a strawberry was shoved into my mouth to silence me. I didn't even know he had reached for it. The man was a magician.
He took his time worshipping me when he finally reached where I wanted him. He sucked on the fruit and my pussy while I writhed and moaned beneath him. He sucked and licked until I came for him. While I was still shaking from the intensity of my orgasm, he climbed between my legs and laid there watching me. He leisurely continued to feed me the last of the fruit, and after the last strawberry, I licked every one of Jasper's fingers, mimicking the way I would suck his cock.
"You're pretty when you want me," he said, pushing his cock inside of me and starting to move. His thrusts were slow and teasing while he taunted me with what I wanted. Then again, his words were powerful enough to be driving me hard and fast toward another mind blowing orgasm. What did this man do to me? My body was so responsive to him. "Bella?"
"Huh?" It was all I could come up with as the sharp snap of his hips made me moan and buck my hips. I wanted him to do it again.
"You have the prettiest, tastiest pussy I have ever sucked on."
"Yeah?" I was almost there.
"Yes….strawberry flavored Bella." He moved his hand down between us, fingering my clit while his thrust grew harder and faster. "Bella?"
"Yes?" He was rocking us hard. He was fucking me hard and it was exactly what I wanted.
"I want you to scream for me."
He didn't need to say it. I was already there. I arch into him and screamed as pleasure began to climb.
"Come, Bella. Scream for me."
"Uhhh!" My back was off the bed. I wanted it. I could feel it. I was right there. "Jasper…I…uh…ahhh!"
"That's it, baby."
"Jasper…I…" His coaxing. His thrusts. His finger stimulating my clit. It was all too much, and soon, I was flying. My body convulsed with a strong orgasm. It ripped through me, shattering me and left me sensitive and limp in his arms.
Jasper wasn't through with me. He didn't wait for me to come down. He rode out my wave, gripping my hips and grinding his body into mine; letting me feel all of him. I started to climb again. And when I began to soar, it triggered his own orgasm making him thrust erratically into me before he stilled and emptied himself into me. He collapsed, half on me, half on the bed.
The room was spinning in the best way. I felt high off of love and the post coital glow Jasper caused. I grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a deep kiss, devouring his mouth. I conveyed all the love and passion I had for him in that one kiss and then released him. He stared at me, breathless but smiling for a few seconds before his beautifully curious mind took over and he asked, "What was that for?"
"For you being you, and for being such a good fuck."
His eyes bugged out making me snort and he dissolved in laughter. "I don't think I've ever been complimented like that before," he said, trying to contain himself.
"Yeah?" I loved shocking him. It was fun.
"Never." He smiled.
"Get used to it."
"Yes, ma'am."
We laid there for a while in our sticky mess with no thoughts; just uninhibited bliss before reality sunk in with Jasper reminding me that we had an appointment with Zafrina today.
From then on, it was a slow pace. We got up, cleaned up, with Jasper carrying the sheets downstairs to the laundry room, while I headed to the bathroom to start the shower. He joined me after loading the sheets into the wash and we had a little fun in there. There was no sex. It was just making out, gentle touches, and a few jokes.
When we got out, we made the bed together with the new bedding Jasper picked out of the linen closet, got dressed, and went downstairs. Sue came over with the pancakes and eggs she had made and I almost ate it all, including Jasper's share. They laughed at me, but I didn't mind. I was hungry and eating for two or maybe it was nervous eating. I have been avoiding Maria since I got back. After running away, I was convinced I was now on her bad side.
Sue and Jasper have been trying to get me to think otherwise, but I was still scared. Maria had stuck her neck out for me when I first got here, and this was how I repaid her? By falling for her son and as soon as trouble came knocking, I ran away. She has got to be pissed off at me. I don't care what Sue and Jasper say, I would want to confront the person who hurt my child.
After breakfast, Sue shooed me and Jasper out the door saying she will take care of the dirty dishes to the bedding in the wash. She winked on the latter and I yelled, "It's just fruit!"
Jasper snorted and faked a cough. Sue plastered an innocent look on her face and said, "I wasn't going to imply otherwise."
I narrowed my eyes at her and she laughed.
The drive to Zafrina was spent with Jasper trying to reprimand me. I was feeling mischievous and playful and kept trying to palm his crotch when he stopped at stop signs or the red light in town.
"Bella, behave." He was trying and failing miserably to sound serious. "I know what you're thinking, Swan, but no more. Zafrina would kill me if you were brought into the emergency room suffering from dehydration and exhaustion due to strenuous activity." I pouted at his logic. Then again, Zafrina would have his head. Would be kind of fun to watch. "I can see what you're thinking. I know you'd find that shit funny."
I laughed and he rolled his eyes at me and chuckled. He moved off when the light turned green and I took the opportunity to start making small circles on his upper thigh as he drove through town. He huffed in mock annoyance, because I knew he loved the attention. "Fine. Since that's not going to stop you. What about Momma? She would have my balls if something happened to you."
I stopped laughing and moved my hand to my lap. "Yeah, she probably would. She doesn't want anything to happen to her first grandchild."
"Or you, Bella."
"That's still up in the air."
Jasper sighed and focused on driving. When we got to Zafrina's private practice, which wasn't too far from Jasper and Emmett's practice, he parked the car and killed the engine. He sat back, looking at me intently until I became uncomfortable under his gaze and met his eyes. "Jasper, your mom is…I doubt she's going to forgive for my fucked up split decision to run."
"Momma isn't like that. She understands," he said, rubbing my shoulder in comfort.
"I don't know."
"I know. I know her. I'm telling you, baby, she understands. Momma knows your fear of James better than the rest of us. She's felt something similar." He had a point. Maria knew these emotions. These reasons to make impulsive decisions.
"I know, but this one involved her son, so I don't think she'll agree with the decision I made to leave you."
"Only one way to find out."
"I'm not talking to her." I wouldn't do it. I could hide. Whitlock Ranch was huge.
"You can't hide from her. You two need to talk." He leaned over the console and kissed my hair and then my cheek. "When you were gone, she came by the house to rip me a new one. She said you were scared and thought you knew James better than anyone. She said you thought if he came after you, then you could keep him away from the family, especially from me. At the time, I thought she was talking shit, but I see the truth in her words now."
"Then you understand why I did it."
"Yes, but I'm going to tell you something," he said with a smile that didn't reach his suddenly cold eyes. "It wouldn't have worked, Bella. If he had found you, I would've found you both and I would kill him. There is no pleasant ending for James in that scenario. He wouldn't get a chance to rot in prison somewhere. He would've died by my hand. Do you understand?"
He should scare me. When he was this cold, it should send me running, but I only wanted to pull him close. I threw myself into his arms and he enveloped me in a warm hug. I breathed him in and with a kiss to his neck, I whispered, "I love you."
We got out of the car with Jasper in a better mood. He took my hand and we walked into Zafrina's private practice together. I had spotted Sam parking his SUV a little down from our vehicle and smiled. I felt safe knowing he was watching our backs. Zafrina's office was filled today and all eyes were on us when we entered the waiting room. Some couples nodded in 'hello' while I heard whispers from others and felt their eyes on us. Jasper was oblivious to it. He didn't care.
"Eyes are on us," I giggled to him.
He smiled and leaned in, his soft breath making me gasp. "I see them, but I've only got eyes for one woman and she's holding my hand. If she behaves nicely, I'll probably consider rewarding her tonight. She does have the sweetest pussy I have ever sucked on."
Who gave a shit what they thought when he was whispering things like that to me. I lost all feeling in my legs due to his words. They were jelly all the way to my seat. I shamelessly leaned on Jasper for support and we took our seats across from a nice couple, who were apparently patients of Jasper's. They greeted us and after I had somewhat regained control over my thoughts, the wife and I fell into a pleasant conversation while Jasper spoke to the husband. They were Max and Lillie.
Lillie was seven months pregnant and filling me in on what to expect. Our conversation briefly stopped when Zafrina's office door opened, and one of the girls that was with Alice at Rose's bachelorette party, emerged. Her eyes widened in shock and then she pretended to look indifferent when she saw us staring at her. She smirked at Jasper, or tried to give him some sort of sexy look, but sneered at me. I was tempted to give her the finger or stick my tongue out at her, but refrained. Jasper looked chuckled and I turned to see him staring at me.
"You can give her the finger if you want."
"What?" I tried to sound shocked. The couple giggled and the girl huffed and pouted at Jasper.
He was looking straight at her, but he bumped my shoulder and continued to tease me. "Go ahead. I'm not stopping you."
"You're so bad." She made a sound and walked away while we laughed.
"Yeah, but you like it." He winked at me.
The couple was laughing with us and I blushed and buried my face in Jasper's shoulder.
Zafrina called the nice couple in her office next.
"I could go for a burger right now."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Maybe two of them with two soda and two orders of fries."
"Bella…" Jasper warned.
"What?" I shrugged. "I'm hungry."
"You just ate."
I scoffed at him and rolled my eyes. "So? That was like hours ago."
He rolled his eyes and laughed. "You mean it felt like hours ago."
"Whatever!"
"We'll get it after this." He kissed my cheek.
"Cool."
Jasper shook his head and laughed again.
It was our turn after Max and Lillie. We said our goodbyes with hopes to see each other in town again. I hoped all went well for them with their pregnancy.
Zafrina was behind her desk when we entered her office. She stopped looking through the file she was reading and greeted us. We took a seat in front of her and she launched into my questions. "How are we today, Bella?"
"Good, but hungry."
Jasper sighed loudly.
Zafrina smiled. "That's expected, what do you feel like having?"
"Two BBQ burgers, two fries and two Pepsi."
Jasper groaned.
Zafrina chuckled while I raised my eyebrow and looked at him. "Jasper will get right on that after your visit. So are we ready for today?"
"More than ready." I was excited. Nervous but excited about what was to take place here today. Jasper told me today we would hear our baby's heartbeat. It was one more proof of the miracle I ran into when I left Sacramento. I wouldn't be feeling this happy if I were still there. I would probably be dead by now. I shook my head and forgot about James. This was about me.
"Good. Before that though, is there anything you would like to discuss?"
I looked at her and Jasper. They both had expectant looks on their faces and I wanted to mess with them. I heaved a sigh and pretended to seriously contemplate her question before answering. Jasper took my silence the wrong way. He looked genuinely worried. "Bella, is there something troubling you, baby?"
I stared straight into Zafrina's eyes and said without an ounce of smile on my face, "I see Jasper as a sex toy."
Jasper gasped. I could see his eyes bulging out through my peripheral. Zafrina was trying to bite back her laughter at my boyfriend's expense. She knew what I was doing and decided to play along. With a straight face, she began to advise, "Bella, that's perfectly normal. You're four months pregnant. Your sex drive is in full swing. I say, make great use of your sex toy."
"What?" Jasper said dumbly, staring between the two of us.
"Why so shocked, Jasper?" Zafrina teased. "Most partners love this stage. It's when their wife or girlfriend's sexual prowess is at its peak. You're a lucky man right now to have a girlfriend who wants to jump you 24/7. Of course, that's within the cautionary limit of Bella's health. We wouldn't want to overdo it, would we?"
"Of course not," I said, smiling with triumph.
"O-okay," Jasper mumbled nervously. Where did my sexually confident boyfriend go? He was here this morning. I loved nervous Jasper though. He was so cute.
"What about weird cravings?" Zafrina asked. "Any of those yet?"
Jasper perked up for this one. I knew exactly what he was going to talk about. "Last night, she ate the fried chicken Sue made smothered in peanut butter."
"I don't understand," Zafrina said while I giggled.
"I used the peanut butter as a dip for the chicken."
"Oh!" Zafrina laughed. "I had a thing for gummy bears with everything when I was pregnant. My husband couldn't stand it."
Jasper groaned and sank in his seat. "This is going to continue?"
"Oh, think of it as an adventure with food." Zafrina told us.
Jasper made a face and I laughed.
We had a good conversation. Zafrina asked more questions and gave us advice. Then it was time. She led us to her exam room where the monitor was. I got on the table and Jasper came to stand alongside me. I took his hand, kissing his knuckles. Zafrina warned against the coldness of the gel she had to use and I jumped a little when she smeared it on my bare belly. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes when she turned on the monitor. I was so nervous. Jasper squeezed my hand and I squeezed back, worried about what we'd see and hear. If we would hear anything all, and then…
"There it is," Zafrina said with a happy tone to her voice. I heard Jasper's gasp, and then a loud, fast paced thumping sound filled the room. My eyes popped open and I stared straight at the screen. It was confusing to me. I didn't know what I was looking for but I could definitely hear it. That was my baby. That fast, loud thumping was my baby's heartbeat.
I started to cry. I couldn't think of anything else to do. I just closed my eyes and cried. I felt Jasper's arms around me and I grasped his shirt, crying into his chest. He was telling me how much he loved me. He was thanking me. He was whispering encouraging things to me while I thought about how far I have come. "If I hadn't run that night, I wouldn't be here. My baby wouldn't be here." It was the one thing I could remember saying to him and Zafrina because everything else was a happy blur. We got recordings of the heartbeat and pictures of my…I don't know…blip and then I practically ran out the door and headed for Sam's truck. He got out, all concerned and I thrust the picture in his hand, smiling broadly.
"Congratulations," he said and I pulled him into a hug and started crying again.
When Jasper finally got me into our car, he explained how happy Zafrina was for us and he gave me our next appointment date since I ran out before hearing it. We drove to the burger joint where I got my two BBQ burgers, my fries and Pepsi and three slices of apple pie. Jasper shook his head and laughed while I ate happily all the way home.
When he pulled up in front of the house, I froze. My happiness was on pause. Maria was standing at the front door. I sighed heavily and glanced over at Jasper. His expression was saying it was now or never. I couldn't hide from her as Jasper had said, so I should take my berating and be done with it. I know I was stupid for running and I guess she won't forgive me, but so be it. Besides, I had to get inside the house anyways since I wanted to get dinner started. I was too happy to be kept down. I heard my baby's heartbeat today and now she wanted Honey-Ginger chicken thighs with steamed rice for dinner and a Coconut cake for dessert. I told her father that on the way home.
"Bella, it'll be okay," Jasper said as I held on to the car door. He knew I wanted to jump out of the car and bolt upstairs and hide under our covers from his mom. She was just standing there, staring at us. It was creepy but I had to do this. The faster we get this over with, the faster I'm inside the house and happy again about my baby's heartbeat. It was so fast!
Maria was unmoved. She kept her stance, watching us. "She's mad at me."
"I'm telling you, she's not." Jasper opened his door and got out of the car. I was tempted to jump over the console, slam his door shut and hightail out of here, but he had already killed the engine and took the keys out of the ignition, so with a heavy sigh, I got out of the car and started for the house with purpose. Maria's face was masked with anger. Her gaze was piercing my soul. Jasper got to her first, but she surpassed him and headed straight for me. I froze on the spot. "Maria, I'm so…" She held her hand up.
"Don't. Just don't do anything like that again, Bella. You're not going to get over that monster if you keep letting him run your life. You'll never know true power over self if you don't exercise some faith in your strength and will to survive as well as the people around you who love you to death. If that bastard had gotten his hands on you…" Her voice was rising as she got angrier. "He would've killed you. Do you understand what that would've done?"
"I know, and I…"
"No. I don't want to hear it."
"Momma…" Jasper's voice was hard. He was ready to step in and defend me.
Maria held her hand up to him. This woman feared nothing. "Do you know how much I would've lost if James had been smart enough to get his hands on you?"
"Your grandchild?"
She scoffed at me and I wanted to cry. Maybe she didn't see the baby as her grandchild. Maybe she was now sorry she had ever helped me. "No, Bella. Not only would I have lost my grandchild, I would've lost you. That's what you would've done to me. To the family. I love you and I would've lost the daughter my son has given me. I can't lose you, Bella. We've come too far. I love you, my little darling so don't do that again. When Jasper's being stupid, come to Momma." She pointed at herself. "I'll straighten his ass out. When the world is bearing down on you, come to me, we'll sort it out. Understand me, little girl?"
I was blubbering by the time she stopped talking. I threw myself into her arms. "I understand. I love you too. I'm sorry."
We stood there and had a good cry. When we parted, she wiped my tears away. "Good," she said with a smile.
We walked to the house together, my happiness restored, while I told her about hearing the baby's heartbeat. She was overjoyed to hear about it. I begged her to stay for dinner and she obliged.
Later in the night, I crawled into bed beside Jasper, wrapping myself around him. I sighed happily when I thought back to how wonderful today was. Dinner turned out fantastic. Maria stayed as she had promised to. We talked animatedly all through the preparation of our meal. Together, we teased Jasper, and she expressed how happy she thought his dad would have been to see him so happy and in love. She said his father would've been excited about Jasper becoming a father. She said it was something they used to discuss and Jasper's dad was all for becoming a grandpa when the time was right for his children. Jasper looked happy and sad to hear this. I cheered him up by telling Maria he was my life and our baby would be loved and cherished like I had always hoped to be. He kissed my forehead.
He and his mom helped me prepare dinner, or followed my instructions since Jasper wouldn't let me lift the pots on the stove. He watched me like a hawk. I enjoyed his attentiveness.
As my eyes started to droop, and as I listened to Jasper's sound breaths, I realized how lucky I was. I won't endanger my family again. Whatever I do from here on out will be in the defense of them. I was ready to fight. No matter whom my opponent may be.