Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!
Per the order given to me by my new and less than cheerful roommate Leah Clearwater, I made sure to have Tara up and out of the apartment before the Quilette witch of the West made her second appearance of the day. I flashed my usual fake smile and promised to call her, but the second she was out the door I took her number and tossed it in the trash. I had never met a girl yet who was second date material other than Bella Swan and look where that had gotten me. The one girl I tried the whole relationship thing with and she- I shook my head not wanting to think about it. What good would it do to think about that lying whore now?
By the time Leah came back holding two coffees, which honestly surprised me since I thought she tried to forget my existence when I wasn't around, but apparently she thought about me whether she wanted to or not, I had managed to set my stereo system. My CD player had to be my most prized possession other than my car. My Volvo CCR had been a gift from my parents and it was the one gift I did not return. My CD player had been a gift from my sister Alice and I loved it more than I loved a pretty woman so that in itself was an accomplishment of unspeakable magnitude.
When my new and extremely beautiful roommate handed me my coffee I pretended to take a whiff as if I had started smelling for poisons. Not that I would be able to smell anything if she had slipped something in to my coffee. "You're being nice to me and I can only assume it is because you plan to kill me off. I guess I can't be too careful can I?"
"If I was going to kill you I would've done it in a much more interesting way." She rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch. "I figured that if you had your mouth full with the task of drinking a morning cup of coffee then you wouldn't be able to hit on me. So in reality it is less of me doing a nice thing for you and more me sparing myself from your hideous pickup lines."
"You will quickly learn I am an expert when it comes to the ability to multi-task." I joked and took a drink of the still steaming coffee. I nearly gagged when I realized it was black. "You are trying to kill me. The first rule I am going to suggest is if you have coffee in the house warn someone if it is black. You could kill a man by giving him that garbage."
Leah scowled and reached over to snatch the Styrofoam cup from my hands. "See if I ever try to do something nice for you again. You are such a fucking pussy if you can't handle that. Please do not tell me you are one of those tea drinking, frappachino drinking, and tree hugging weirdoes?"
This time I was offended as I crossed my arms over my chest and shot her my best scowl, which admittedly was not even in the same league as hers. "There is nothing wrong with drinking something that does not stunt your growth. Now I believe you wanted to have a talk about rules, but I have a few rules of my own."
"Oh this should be interesting." She stated with a smirk before dumping the contents of her coffee cup in to mine. She started drinking it while waiting for me to say something.
"If I am not allowed to have female company then you are not allowed to have male company." I stated stubbornly and something popped in to my mind. "If you are having a female friend over then I should be allowed to watch. I mean that would be the polite thing for to do. You are more than welcome to join in if I have female company. I love to watch and occasionally join in."
My slightly lewd comment seemed to roll off of her russet shoulders easily. Her eyebrow raised in amusement as she shook her head. "Rule number one pretty boy, you are not allowed to hit on me or any friends I may have over no matter if they are male friends or female friends. Rule numbers two being you are to be dressed from the waist down at all times. If there is a fire or some other sort of emergency I do not want to be forced to see something that may blind me or do permanent damage to my brain. Rule number three is that if you are having an overnight guest then you should warn me ahead of time so that I can make plans to go out. I'll show you the same kindness and you better not stick around like some creep who listens to me have sex. That is not an okay thing for you to do. Rule number four is that you can drink your ass off because we live over a bar and so it's obvious you are going to drink, but I don't like drugs. If you want to smoke a little weed that's fine as long as you bring enough to share, anything else you may want to do then please do it elsewhere because I don't want to you to get busted in an apartment you share with me. My fifth rule is pretty simple as well, you can't have any peanut products in the house because I am allergic and it could kill me because when I say allergic I mean lungs closing seeing the Grim Reaper allergic. Now these rules may be subject to change in the future, but I don't see that as happening. As long as you keep your creepy self away from me then I don't see us as having too much of a problem. Oh one last thing, I work during the day and so when I get time to sleep I cannot have it interrupted so please respect that. Did you understand that pretty boy? Good so I am going to sleep while you unpack your shit. Don't touch my stuff and we don't have a problem."
It took me a moment to process all of what she said. I managed to speak before she disappeared in to her room. "Hey! Don't I get a say in the rules?"
My sassy roomie turned to shake her head after staring at me for a long few seconds. "No and do you want to know why? Because anything you say is going to make me want to hit you and I am much too tired for that. If you have any rules to add later on then feel free, but right now I am going to crash and your yapping is only delaying that. Night pretty boy and remember what I said, do not touch my shit or I will cut off your hand."
She disappeared and I honestly thought that would be the last time I saw her until she woke up, but I was shocked when a few minutes later she came out carrying the sheets which had been on the bed in the room she claimed as hers. I never had time to question her about it before they were shoved in to my face and she disappeared back in to her room. This was just fucking great, not even living together for a day and already she is trying to boss me around. I better get something out of this soon because I wasn't her boyfriend nor was I her maid.
TBC…
AN: I wrote this before I went to bed and that is why it is not very long. I do hope that you all liked it and in the next chapter I am going to have either Leah or Edward have a date they bring home. Who would you like to see with a date? I was thinking about it being Edward because he is hoping to make Leah jealous and he deliberately does not tell her that he is bringing someone home because he wants her to be there. Let me know your thoughts about this. I do hope that you all enjoyed this chapter and I would love to hear your thoughts about it.
Please R&R like always!