Steve Rogers was many things: kind, sarcastic, strong, funny, and loyal, but one thing he had never been was a coward. He had jumped in head first when given the chance to go to war. Many men would have thought twice before allowing themselves to be used as an experiment. Not Steve though, no he hopped right up in that machine with only a lame joke to give away his nervousness. So to say his behavior with Darcy had been odd would be an understatement. It was also something he decided needed to be fixed right away.
It had been Pepper's words the night before that had helped him make up his mind. Well mostly make up his mind. There was still one issue he needed to discuss with Darcy. It was this reason he was standing outside of Darcy's door, hand raised but still hesitating to knock.
"Captain Rogers, Ms. Lewis wishes for me to inform you that the door is unlocked for whenever you find your balls." Jarvis's voice filtered through the hidden speakers of the hallway. There was a certain lilt to the AI's voice that made him sound amused at Darcy's choice in words.
"How did she even know I was out here?" Steve blinked at the door, his hand falling slowly back down to his side. Well this was going swingingly so far. He rolled his eyes at his thoughts, he knew it wouldn't be easy. That was the thing when it came to them, nothing was ever easy between them.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but Ms. Lewis has instructed me to inform her of any approaching visitors this morning." Jarvis sounded anything but sorry, in fact the amusement was even more present in his voice.
"Is she alright, JARVIS?" Steve felt his heart pick up speed. Darcy normally had an open door policy, any and all were welcome to visit, mostly if they brought gifts of the chocolate kind. The only time Steve could remember her doing this was when she had gotten word that her childhood best friend had died.
"I believe Ms. Lewis may have imbibed more than her limit of alcohol last night and is experiencing a hangover."
Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Hungover Darcy was never a pretty sight, normally she came with flying pillows and more than normal snark. "Thank you, JARVIS."
"You are welcome, Sir. Shall I inform her on whether or not you plan to enter her quarters?" The amusement left Jarvis's voice, replaced once again with his calm professionalism.
"Um, no thank you, that won't be necessary." He really didn't want to give her the chance to change her mind and lock the door.
Taking a breath, Steve turned the nob and stepped into the room. The lights were low, creating a yellow haze. It was a bit dizzying, and he wondered if it was actually more hindering than helpful right now.
Darcy was curled up on her couch, not that anyone would have been able to tell from the pile of blankets that covered the thing. Steve figured she must have simply burrowed in the mountain of bedding like an animal, because there was no way she could have gotten them that high any other way.
"Oh look, Captain America finally realized he has balls! Nice for you to come and visit." Darcy stuck her nose out from under her blankets, just enough so she could breathe. She didn't remember too much about the night before. It seemed though that she must have drank every last drop in that forsaken place. She was going to beat the crap out of her friends for allowing her to drink that much.
"You've always been a bitchy hungover." Steve sat down by where he figured Darcy's head was, one arm flung along the back of the couch. He laughed lowly as he felt movement beside him and looked down to find a single hand by his thigh giving him the bird.
"Yeah, well I'm a fun drunk so it evens out." Darcy shifted a bit under her blanket mountain trying to get comfortable. She had to swallow a few times just to keep from getting sick, though at this point she was probably just putting off the inevitable.
"Maybe I should come back later?" Steve patted the hand beside his leg, smiling when Darcy quickly grasped it before he could stand. He gave it a squeeze and placed their joined hands in his lap.
"No, no, I'm sorry. It's just that my head hurts and I'm really stressed out with all this baby stuff, ya know?" Realizing that the hot air beneath the blankets was making her stomach worse, she shifted enough so she could stick her head out and set it beside her hand on Steve's lap.
She sighed when Steve switched his hold on her hand with his other and used his newly freed one to run through her hair. It made her stomach flip to think about the fact that even when in the middle of an argument he still made sure to take care of her.
"Yeah, look that is what I've come here to talk about." Steve traced the shell of Darcy's ear with his finger before going back to smoothing down her hair. He found himself calmed by the easy way she curled against him. He was nervous enough about the conversation, he wasn't sure how he would do it if they were physically at odds with each other.
"Putting your foot down, are you?" Darcy gave a bitter laugh, turned on her back, and looked up to see Steve looking down at her with the softest expression she had ever seen on his face.
"No, I just think we should actually talk about this like adults. No arguments, no whining, and none of my freaking out." Steve smiled at her and shook his head, his hand curling around to trace along her jaw as he spoke. He ended with softly bopping the tip of her nose, happy to see her smile back at him.
"You promise?" Darcy reached out and took his other hand, and curled his arms around her as she sat up fully so she could lean against his chest.
"I promise." He pressed a quick kiss to her hair, holding her close. So far things were going better than he had thought they would. Though he still had yet to get to the point of his visit. How that bit went remained to be seen.
"What made you change your mind?" Darcy played with Steve's fingers, running the pads of her own over the rugged edges of his nails. She sighed when she saw the state of them. He never paid that much attention to his nails, never taking the time to smooth out the chips and splits caused by his work. She would have to drag him over one night so she could give him a manicure… Bucky too.
"I had a bit of a talk with Pepper last night while you were out." Steve removed his fingers from her grasp, holding her hands down on her lap with one of his. The last time she had noticed his cracked nails she had offered to buff them up. He ended up with his nails painted with little American flags.
"So, does this mean you are willing to try?" Darcy would have to remember to thank Pepper, like huge batches of triple chocolate cookie kind of thank her. Pepper had always been the voice of reason around the tower, even if she was dating Tony... willingly.
"Not exactly, it means I'm willing to talk about trying." Steve waited a breath before looking down at the woman in his arms. He had expected her to get angry with him, instead she just looked thoughtful.
"Good enough at this point." She sighed, but still smiled. Sure, he hadn't actually agreed, but beforehand he refused to even think about her proposal. The fact that he was willing to talk about it was a win in her book. A small win, but a win nonetheless.
Steve let go of Darcy's hands, moving her away enough so he could sit on the edge of the couch. He angled his body so he could look at her, and once again caught her hands in his. He was anything but a prude, but somehow the coming conversation made him nervous.
"It's just, sex complicates things in a friendship and I care about you too much to screw up our friendship for this." Not that he had never thought about it, but he was sure Darcy wanted none of that from him and he valued her too much to loose her.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, sex? What the hell gave you the idea that we would be having sex?" Darcy pulled back and stood from the couch. She stood there gaping at Steve, unsure if she should laugh or not. She was pretty sure she had never mention anything about sex.
"Um, Darcy, you do know how babies are made right?" He lifted a single brow at his friend. He was mostly kidding, because he knew she was no virgin, and yet some of the youth he had met… well let's just say that sex education needed to be reformed in American. Badly.
"What?! Of course I know, but there are other ways." Darcy stood there waiting for Steve to realize what she was talking about. When he just sat there silent she pinched her nose. "Artificial insemination?"
"You're suggesting-"
"Shit, it seems stupid, but sometimes I forget you're from the forties. Ok, look, there have been many advances in fertility treatments since the turkey baster days." Gah, why hadn't she thought of that? Steve had been doing a lot of studying since he was thawed, but it never occurred to her that he would never had thought to look up advancements in fertility treatments. So wonder the poor boy had been freaking out so bad.
"But-"
"Please don't tell me you bought into all of that 'if God wanted you to have a child he would have given you one' crap that the church tried to sell?" Shit, she really didn't think he did, he was an intelligent man. Still, he did cling to a few of his old-fashioned values.
"If you would give me the chance to actually talk." Steve rolled his eyes, sometimes getting a word in edgewise with this woman was impossible. "No, I did not buy into that. It just never occurred to me that there would any other way. Before… before it wasn't something that people really talked about. And those that did..." Steve sighed and flopped back on the couch in a slump.
"There was a woman I met during the USO tour, Maddie. We had stopped over for the night at the hotel she owned with her husband. Maddie had been working the front desk when she passed out. I learned later on from one of the girls that she had gone through with a procedure to help her get pregnant. She had gotten pregnant, but she had ended up with an infection that had caused a miscarry and nearly killed her." He remembered when he had heard from the girls what had happened. He had never thought much about what getting pregnant meant for women, he never thought he would have to as he didn't figure he would ever have children.
"I'm not saying there are no risks involved, there always is. The thing is since you've been frozen we've learned a lot about fertility. There can be problems on both sides, some women can even be allergic to sperm. These treatments have helped many people have children they otherwise wouldn't've been able to have.
"Don't worry, Steve, this is safe for both the mother and the baby." Darcy sat back down on the couch, her hand going to rest on his thigh. She was a little shaken up by his story, but she knew things were much different than they had been when he was younger. There were more precautions taken, better ways of handling things.
"That kind of shoots down my last argument then doesn't it?" Steve laughed a bit. He had thought all this time Darcy had been simply flying by the seat of her pants, but by the calm way she had explained everything he had a pretty good feelings she had more of a plan than he realized. It was reassuring and frightening at the same time.
"Kind of. So, does this mean you want to do it?" She tried not to get her hopes up, just because he was talking about it didn't mean he would agree. Still, she figured she was several steps closer.
"I don't know, Darce, maybe. We have a lot we need to discuss before we make a final decision: how we are going to handle raising the child, what is to be done if something should happen to me-"
"And we will talk about it. How about I whip up something to eat and we can talk?" She patted his thigh before getting up and heading for the kitchen. Her head still hurt, but she could probably manage grilled cheeses and canned soup. Not the best, but something she figured she wouldn't burn. Cooking was never a sure thing when she was hungover.
"Actually, I want to go and… do… something beforehand. How about tonight, we'll get takeout and discuss it then?" He stood from the couch, giving what he hoped was an apologetic and not uncomfortable smile. He hadn't known what the outcome of the conversation would be, but he had planned ahead in case things went a certain way.
"Alright." Darcy stood awkwardly at the threshold of her kitchen, watching as Steve made his way to the door. "And, Steve?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. I know I've probably come across as insane to you lately, but it's just because I really want this. I'm not sure I've ever wanted anything in my life so much as this." Darcy felt like she should apologize for how she had been acting lately, but before she could say or do anything else Steve was gathering her up in a hug.
"Not insane, just determined. I'll see you tonight." Steve kissed her forehead before letting her go and leaving.
Darcy leaned against the doorframe, a smile smile on her lips and a couple of tears trailing from her eyes. For the first time she felt as though she had hope. Maybe things would finally work out.
Steve wasn't actually sure what he was doing. He probably shouldn't have agreed, or well sort of agreed, to this scheme of Darcy's. It was insane, to think it anywhere near a good idea to have a baby. Still, the more he thought about it the more he wanted it. Not just the child, but a chance at some sort of normal life. He was proud at what he did as the Captain, but there were times when he wanted to be nothing more than an average man.
Sadly, an average man would not be walking into the lab of their friend and team member to ask the favor that Steve was about to. Hell, until the night before he didn't think he would be either.
"Hey, Steve, bored again?" Bruce looked up from his tablet to find the man in question standing just inside of his lab office. Steve often came by when things were quiet, they would talk about whatever research Bruce was doing or just complain about Tony. Mostly it was the complaining though.
"Hey. No, I…" Steve could feel a blush trying to work its way up his neck. Hoping that Bruce wouldn't notice, he simply gave the other man a smile that he was pretty sure looked awkward. And probably kind of painful.
"Something the matter?" Bruce slipped his glasses from his nose, folded them up and stuck them in his pocket. He held in a sigh as he watched the awkward display in front of him. Ever since Tony made mention of his "therapy" sessions, others had thought him a good sounding board for their problems.
It wasn't that he didn't want to help, or that he wouldn't lend an ear if any of his teammates and friends needed it. The thing was he really didn't have the right temperament for it. He had hoped when Sam moved in that he would replace him as the Agony Aunt of the group, but he guessed there must have just been something about him that relaxed his friends. Not that he knew what that could be.
"No… yes… well not really, but…" Steve shook his head in wonder at himself. He knew he was being ridiculous, still there was just something about asking a friend to do this that was weird.
"Steve, take a breath and start over." Bruce wondered if he was going to have to call Sam up to the labs. He had seen many of his teammates go through attacks, hell he had gone through many himself. Steve's were normally more low-key than the rest of them, at least the ones that happened outside of his rooms. Right now Bruce couldn't figure if he was having problems or not.
"Sorry. Um, I was just wondering if you know the results of the tests that had been done on my… on the semen samples I had given?" Yeah, that had probably had sounded as weird as he thought they did. He had never once even asked about the blood samples that had been taken after he thawed, to just suddenly ask about semen… yeah, weird and awkward.
"Ooook, so that wasn't what I was expecting. Is there any reason for wanting to know?" Bruce fought the urge to blink stupidly at Steve. Out of everything he could have imagined the other man asking him, this was probably the last thing he expected. Though it did explain his strange behaviour.
"I need to know if there is any residual effect from the serum." Tests had been done on his blood, both before and after being frozen, but as far as he knew nothing negative came back. It was only after he was thawed that he was asked to provide semen samples, though he had never asked for the results of those. He hadn't seen any reason to at the time, he hadn't planned on ever having kids after everything.
"Oh, um, I actually don't know. I mean I wasn't involved in any of the tests on the blood or semen samples. From what I've read the experiments focused mainly on seeing if the samples would be able to produce a viable serum. They had all been inconclusive if that helps at all." Bruce wasn't lying, though he had read a few of the reports about the tests. What he said about replicating the serum had been true, what he hadn't said though was Hydra's plan on using the sperm in fertility experiments. He didn't figure Steve would be too happy about that.
"Makes me feel a little better, but that wasn't what why I was asking." It hadn't really crossed his mind that his semen could be used in recreating the serum, but to know that it hadn't been viable for that did make him feel better.
"Ok, you are going to have to give me more to go on here, a little context at least." It felt a little like talking to Tony; the man had the tendency to think everyone just automatically understood whatever he was talking about.
"I want to know if it is safe." Steve had thought over and over if he should confide in Bruce, he knew the man would've keep his and Darcy's secret. The thing was that Darcy and him hadn't discussed what they would tell the others. It was bad enough that both Bucky and Sam knew. In the end he figured Bruce didn't need to actually know the details of the situation.
"Safe, safe as in…. oh, OH! Um, well that I couldn't tell you." Again Bruce fought off the blinking, and the gaped mouth. It wasn't that Steve's request was weird, it was actually pretty reasonable and responsible. That didn't stop the situation from being awkward though.
"Is it something you could test, here in the lab I mean?" He had hoped that the tests conducted by Shield would've been enough, it was strange enough to just ask Bruce for the information, it was even stranger to ask him to do the tests himself.
"Yeah, of course. I'll need a new sample though." Bruce bit down on his lips to keep from laughing at the bright blush that lit up Steve's cheeks. His friend and teammate was far from prudish; he had seen and heard some of the things that him, Darcy and Bucky did. Still, he knew the conversation would be embarrassing for anyone. Well, anyone but Tony.
"Good, good." Steve rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, trying to act as though he had this conversation daily.
"Anything else you want me to find out?" Bruce would be lying if he said that he wasn't curious about the sudden need Steve had for such results, but unlike certain others in the tower he respected the privacy of others.
Groaning to himself, Bruce thought about that certain other and what would happen should he find out about Steve's request. He was pretty sure it would end up with either Steve or Bucky dismembering Stark. Or possibly Darcy following through on her daily threat to tase Tony in the balls.
"I just… I need to know if it is safe, that if I… well that I won't end up hurting a woman, or you know if it is viable for conceiving. That any children I might have in the future won't end up disfigured or anything. Could you do that?" It scared him to think that the serum that gave him so much could end up causing more harm than good. As far as he knew no tests had been run on the effect on offspring.
"I should, yeah. When do you want to do this?" Bruce thought about telling him the tests that Hydra had run, but the files hadn't gone into anymore detail than the possible uses of the samples being used in a breeding program. He wasn't sure if the tests had been inconclusive or if everything happened before the tests could actually be done. Either way, he figured his first instinct to conceal that knowledge was probably for the best.
"Now, if you're not busy." Steve figured it could probably wait, but thinking about the talk with Darcy later he figured it might be better to gets things all squared away as quickly as possible.
"I'm not doing anything that can't be put on the back burner for a while." Standing up, Bruce made his way over to the cabinets on the other side of the room. While such tests weren't normal fare in his lab, he at least was prepared.
"How long will the results take?" He didn't want to rush the man, but he knew Darcy would want to do more than just talk about talking about having a baby. He was beginning to think he should have done this before telling her.
"Depends actually, but I wouldn't think too long, not with all this equipment. Tony has stuff in this lab I've never even seen before coming here." Bruce knew that scientists all over were vying for a job with SI. Stark had all the cool toys, and if he didn't he would readily get them for the labs. In fact all he had to do is tell Tony a vague idea of what he needed and the man would turn up a week later with a hand-held machine. It was kind of amazing, and kind of scary.
"Any way that you could get them by tonight?" He really should have done this before talking to Darcy. The day was hardly over, but he knew things took time.
"Nothing comprehensive, but enough." He figured he could always go more in depth later if Steve wanted.
"Thank you." Steve smiled and nodded, feeling relaxed for the first time since he entered the labs.
"Hey, what are friends for? Here," Bruce closed the cabinet and handed over the small clear container to Steve. "there's a bathroom back there. Do you, um, need anything?" He blushed and ran a hand through his hair. Yeah, that maybe hadn't come out right.
"Uh, no, no I've got it." Steve laughed as he moved quickly towards the bathroom. It was awkward, but he had lived and worked in close quarters during the war. He was no stranger to being overheard during… private moments. At least Bruce wouldn't tease him relentlessly like the Commandos.
With the way Steve had been about everything, Darcy wasn't about to take any chance that he would change his mind. So, after he had left to do whatever it was he was going to do, she went straight to her computer and started pulling up site after site. She was going to make sure Steve was as informed as he could be, hopefully it would be enough to ensure him that everything would be perfectly safe.
Of course it was not like she would turn down the alternative. What red-blooded woman would say no to sex with Steve Rogers? She had been shocked when he had automatically jumped to that particular conclusion, it had totally fled her mind that artificial insemination had yet to become the norm when he had gone under. No wonder he had been so shocked when she had taken his comment seriously.
"Ms. Lewis, Dr. Foster is approaching your door. Should I inform her that you are not accepting visitors today?" Jarvis's voice filtered through the room at a much lower register than normal. With Stark, Jarvis had found the normal pitch to his voice to be effective. When it came to Ms. Lewis however, he had been instructed to lower the noise to a murmur upon her first hangover within the tower. He had of course complied, creating a version of his voice that was softer and deeper than normal. Making it sound; as according to Ms. Lewis, like satin over velvet.
"No, JARVIS, my good man. I'm feeling a bit better. Thank you though." Darcy smiled up at the ceiling and blew Jarvis a kiss. She always felt a bit like some Austen heroine when the AI addressed her. She would never tell anyone, but she really wanted to dress up one day and spend the whole day pretending to be some Regency lady. Alright, so maybe she had told Jane, but that had been a drunken mistake after her breakup with Ian and the two women had binge-watched every Austen and Austen-like movie she had.
"You are welcome, Ms. Lewis." Jarvis raised his voice a little, though still refrained from using his normal register until Ms. Lewis had ensured him that she was feeling completely better.
Darcy flung herself back down on the couch, that was still covered in blankets, and quickly regretted the action. She might have been feeling better than she had when she had first woken up, but her head and stomach still resented her it seemed. She clutched at her middle hoping that she wouldn't throw up.
The door across the room slowly opened up. It wasn't the 'approaching a deadly animal' kind of slow, or even the 'unsure if I should be here' kind of slow. It was more the 'I'm about to die right on your floor, I hate you' kind of slow.
Darcy laughed as she watched the other woman stagger into the room. She moved from side to side as though trying to stay steady on one of those moving floors you find at county faires. She cringed, she had been on one of those in high-school when her senior year had decided to have a Grease themed end of the year faire. The memory of the rolling and tilting ground was not one she needed right then.
"Damn, Jane, you look like utter shit." Ok, so she wasn't going to win any best friend of the year awards, but the woman really did look like shit. She still wore her 'I drank like a fucking fish' pjs, which actually were just a pair of threadbare yoga pants with holes in both knees and inside thighs, and a large curry stained t-shirt she had stolen from Darcy.
Her hair looked like it was worse than Darcy's. She figured the woman had tried to pull it up into a ponytail or bun the night before, but she only succeeded in making a huge knotted mess on top of her head instead. Darcy knew that was going to be a fucking pain to fix, she also knew she would be the one doing it lest the scientist just slice it off.
"I love you too." Jane groaned at the sound of her own voice, but still managed to flip off the other woman.
She blinked as she looked over the other woman. She didn't look all fresh and dewy-eyed, but she also didn't look like she spent the night in the south end of a north bound skunk either. It kind of pissed her off. It had to be the boobs. Yeah, that's what it was.
"Stating the obvious again, Jane." Darcy rolled her eyes, though carefully, as the back of them still felt as though they had been roasted over a damned fire.
"Shut up, this is all your fault." Not really caring, Jane flung herself across the back of the couch, her face planting right into the blankets. She figured if she barfed there Darcy deserved it.
"Hey, I'm not the one that thought it would be a good idea to try and drink Nat under the table." She laughed as the woman beside her weakly extended an arm and hit her leg. It felt more like getting hit with a cotton ball than anything.
"No, you are only the one that dared me to." Realizing that exacting revenge on her friend really wasn't worth actually dealing with throwing up, Jane slowly stood back up. Of course this meant that all the blood rushed away from her head and she had to take a moment to not throw up anyway.
"Didn't mean you had to take the dare." Seriously, Darcy thought it was pretty obvious that little Jane could never out drink Nat. Darcy wasn't even sure Thor could out drink that woman.
"You double-dog dared me! I know you, the last time I refused I woke up with my eyebrows shaved off and a sharpie mustache." Jane would never forgive her for that one.
They had been in the tower only a month when Darcy had dared her to flash Steve when they got back from their latest mission. Jane had refused of course, though she had never thought the other woman would do anything to her. She had woken up late that next morning and rushed off to her meeting with Erik and Bruce without ever looking in the mirror. Since then Jane never turned down a dare.
"I said you didn't have to take the dare, I never said there wouldn't be consequences." Darcy stuck her tongue out at the rat's nest parading around as a woman. Jane had to learn that even though she loved her, rules were rules when it came to double-dog dares.
"I hate you." One day she would get Darcy back, but until then she would just settle on insults and her Death-Glare of Doom. Even if said glare made her look more constipated than dangerous when she was hungover.
"Wow, you are so contradictive today." Darcy actually loved hungover Jane, she was like a little kitten trying to play the lioness. She wasn't even one of those kittens that you could easily see would grow to a good size. She was one of those itty-bitty kittens that made a pitiful squeak instead of an actual meow. It was funny.
"And you are way too perky for being hungover, you are never this happy the morning after." Jane looked over her friend as though she would find something different about her. Darcy was a Grade-A Bitch, The Queen Bitch if you will, when hungover. This, whatever this was, was not her evil bitch friend. She immediately suspected pod people.
"What can I say, I've been reevaluating my life and have decided to become a better person." Darcy pressed a hand to her chest as she spoke. She tried not to laugh when Jane lifted a single brow at her.
"You couldn't have chosen not mocking your friend's pain instead of being an irritatingly perky hungover?" Right now Jane would prefer mumbling, bitch Darcy to whatever she was at the moment. It was the reason she had come over, so they could groan and whine together.
"Baby-steps, Jane, baby-steps." Darcy gathered most of the blankets on the couch and tossed them across the room. She would pick them up later, or maybe get Steve to do it. Right now she didn't really want to move.
"Bullshit. Anyway, my head is still spinning and I fear if I don't sit down that I'll puke." Jane wasn't kidding. Even though Darcy had the lights in the room dimmed, everything seemed too bright and swirly.
"Well sit down, idiot. I don't remember saying you couldn't. Just know, puke on my stuff and it won't just be shaved eyebrows that you will have to worry about." Darcy winked at Jane as she slowly moved around the couch and plopped down beside her. She could be pretty inventive in her revenge, which was something she knew her friend understood.
"I don't even know why I hang around you sometimes." Jane pulled one of the remaining blankets up onto her lap and cuddled down inside it. For some reason Darcy always had the best smelling blankets. They didn't smell like fabric softener or anything, more spicy like she sprayed them regularly with men's cologne.
"Because you love me, or at least my coffee and my mad computer skills." Darcy made kissy noises at Jane. They always joked about Darcy worth as an intern, but the truth was after everything they'd been through neither of them could survive without the other.
"Yeah, talking of computers, why is there a site to a fertility clinic on your monitor?" Jane eyed the laptop on the coffee table before deciding to go ahead and reach out and grab it. She scrolled down the page before scanning through the various tabs; all information on fertility treatments.
Darcy sat beside Jane, mouth flapping open and closed silently as she watched her friend go through her tabs. Damn it, she had meant to close out of everything, but she had been distracted by the other woman's appearance. This was going to be hard to explain away.
"Uh, research?" Darcy cringed, that was just as lame as saying she just happened to click a link not knowing what it was. There was no way she was not coming off as suspicious.
"What the hell kind of research is that?!" Jane could feel her headache getting worse. Darcy had done some spectacularly crazy things since she'd known her, but she had a feeling this one was about to take the cake.
"The kind that requires me to look at that site." Darcy gave an uneasy smile as she shrugged one shoulder. She cursed the night before, she was good at making up lies when hungover. Then again if she hadn't been so out of it she would've remembered to close out the browser,and there wouldn't have been any need for lying.
"Darcy…" Jane turned the computer around so Darcy could see the site on IUI's that had been the last tab.
"It's nothing, Jane, believe me. I've just been thinking about some things lately." Alright, so there was no way she was going to be able to deny everything, but Jane didn't need to know Darcy was doing more than just thinking.
"What kind of things?" Jane closed the computer and set it back on the coffee table. She had rarely seen Darcy as serious as she looked now. It wasn't that the younger woman didn't have any depth, but she normally kept it hidden behind layers of snark and humor.
"Well, haven't you ever thought about children? Having one or two of your own?" Darcy and Jane had never actually discussed future plans regarding children and family. So much of their discussions on the future dealt mostly with science, the application, the theory, and the awards. She figured it had to have happened at some point though. Might as well be now, considering.
"Sure, in a sort of abstract way I guess. I like children, and everything with Pepper is exciting, but I'm not sure it is for me. I can barely take care of myself. Why, are you?" Growing up, Jane hadn't been one of those girls aching to become a mother. She didn't find any fault in it, but she had been so focused on everything science could give her that she had ignored most everything else.
It was a bit of an issue with Thor though. Even though he had abdicated, sort of, he knew that unless his father produced another heir he would eventually have to return to Asgard and claim the throne. That meant he would need an heir of his own. That was where Jane had come in.
As of late they had been talking more and more about the future. Jane had always figured he would stay with her until she grew old and died and then eventually go off to marry an Asgardian Lady. Thor had other plans, ones that involved a golden apple and her taking on the role of Queen and Mother of the Heir. It was a scary thought, and one she really didn't want to ruminate on too much in the next five to ten years.
"Yeah, thinking about it at least. I know I'm young, that I've got plenty of time, yada-yada-yada, but I'm not so sure when it comes to the life we live. It was hard enough to find good men before all this, now I have to worry about Avenger fanboys or evil spies when I go out. I get to thinking sometimes that maybe I won't find that someone and have my happily-ever-after." That was all true actually, even if it wasn't the whole reason for what she was planning. It was something that everyone who was either involved or was an Avenger had to worry about.
Everyone glorified the life in Avengers Tower. Magazines wrote article after article about the high life of the Avengers and their friends and family. Movies were made, some low budget and some big Hollywood productions, that focused more on the lavish and glamorous life of a superhero than the horror and blood of battle.
There was even a weekly television show, done in the style of 90210. The stupid writers of that one turned Nat into nothing more than the Avenger's play bunny, going from teammate to teammate like her only job was to make sure the male Avengers were sexually satisfied. Needless to say that all changed when the show got a surprise visit one day while shooting.
"Oh, Darcy." Jane reached over and took one of Darcy's hands. It hadn't actually occurred to her that things were different for her friend. Jane had Thor, and really between Darcy and everyone else in the Tower she had no need to look for friendship outside of their circle.
"Please don't pity me." Darcy pulled her hand away from Jane, her eyes narrow as they looked at the other woman. She hated being pitied, it always made her feel like she was being seen like a small bug rather than a person.
"I'm not, but I'm allowed to worry. You are my best friend, you know?" She didn't try to take Darcy's hand again, just sat back against the couch cushion and wrapped the blanket even tighter around herself.
"I know, and you're my best girl-friend." Darcy relaxed when she realized that Jane wasn't going into pity mode.
"Not your best all-around-friend?" Jane pretended to be offended, crossing her arms over her chest and pouting like a little child.
"Sorry, I don't think I can really pick between you, Steve and Bucky." She loved all three of them greatly, though her relationship with each was different. Jane was her sister, Bucky was her brother,and Steve… well Steve was like that boy you had been friends with since grade school and in college suddenly realized just how wonderful he really was.
"Fair enough. But, Darcy, will you at least promise me that you will not go and get pregnant with some stranger's kid?" Jane knew that Darcy could be impulsive, it was part of what made her so endearing. But sometimes her impulsiveness got her in trouble. This could really be one of those times.
"I promise, no strange sperm will enter here." Darcy cheekily pointed to her lap and waggled her eyebrows. Technically she wasn't lying, though had had past experience with it, she really couldn't call Steve's sperm a stranger.
"Good God, Darcy!" Jane smacked her face down into her palm. Before Darcy she hadn't even heard the term facepalm, but since taking her on as an intern she had done it more times than she could count.
"I'm sorry. In all seriousness, Jane, you don't have to worry. I'm not about to have some random man's child." Again not lying, Steve wasn't random. Darcy laughed to herself, maybe she would convince Steve to allow her to name the child Random if it was a girl… the whole randomly having a kid by a random/not really man. Though she probably should introduce him to the books first, even then he probably wouldn't find it funny.
"Good." Jane risked patting Darcy's leg before pulling back and putting on the haughtiest look she could muster. "Now, bring me my coffee woman!"
"You are lucky I love you, because if not I would so totally tase you for that." Darcy stuck out her tongue, but still she got up and headed for the kitchen. It would probably do her good to have a huge cup of coffee. Maybe it would help her get rid of the last of her headache.
Abab
Bruce blinked into the microscope, his head spinning at what he saw. Though he had been surprised at the request, he couldn't really say he was all that shocked. He had done several such tests on samples of his own. He had to say though, his results were nothing like Steve's. Super Soldier indeed.
"Brucie!" Tony sauntered into the labs, a bag of dried cherries in hand. He tried to visit Bruce at least once a day while he worked, help keep him on his toes. Pepper said it was to annoy the man, but she just didn't understand the dynamic of their relationship.
"I swear, Tony, if you are here to do anything that will result in blowing up this lab I will allow the other guy to use you as a basketball." Bruce ignored the other man as he made a note on the paper beside him.
The Hulk had used Tony, in the suit of course, as various pieces of sports equipment through the years. Normally it happened because Tony had done something to piss him off, and during a battle the Other Guy would randomly decide to play baseball with Iron Man. Bruce had to admit it was comical. Mostly when Darcy had gathered all the footage she could of the events and made a dvd for him for Christmas. She even added commentary and scores.
"Harsh, Brucie, so very harsh. But may I remind you that I do own this lab?" Tony leaned his hip against the table Bruce was using. He shook out a few cherries, tossed them in the air and caught them in his mouth.
"May I remind you what Pepper did to you last time you blew something up?" Bruce smirked at the look of horror and betrayal on Tony's face. Once the only thing he had to threaten the man with was harm by the hand of Hulk, which really didn't work as he just saw it as a challenge. Thankfully one day Pepper pulled him aside and gave her full permission to use her and her wrath as a threat. He would be forever grateful to that woman.
"I thought we decided never to mention that again?" Tony scowled and stuffed a handful of cherries in his mouth. He didn't understand why everyone was so against him. He gave them all the toys and made them look cool, they should adore him.
"No, you decided that. I decided to bring it up at random and embarrassing times, mostly in front of others. By the way, hey Sam." Bruce waved at the man that had just entered.
Sam came by most days just to talk. Though they had developed a friendship, Bruce also knew he came for other reasons. Sam was one of the main ones trying to get Bruce to embrace the Other Guy and stop thinking himself as a monster.
"Hey. So what did Pepper do?" Sam laughed at the look on Stark's face. He looked like a five year old. Not that that was really out of the ordinary for the man. Tony had three settings: Iron Man, Playboy, and Child.
"No, no we are not talking about that! We are talking about… we are talking about this! So, what is this Big-Guy? What are we working on, come on don't leave me in the dark." Tony grabbed a vial off the table, tossing it from hand to hand.
Bruce wanted to laugh and cringe as he watched Tony play with the sample Steve had given him."That is a vial of semen."
"Uhhhhh, yeah I see that now." Tony lifted up the vial to eye level by two fingers. His nose crinkled as he frowned at the offending stuff.
"Tony, would you mind putting that down. I doubt Steve would appreciate you fondling it." Bruce cringed at himself. He hadn't meant to say anything about Steve, knowing what Tony would do with the information. It had just kind of slipped out.
"Shit, shitshitshitshitshitshit! Fucking gross man!" Tony tossed the vial back onto the table and ran towards the sink on the back wall.
Sam and Bruce watched on as Tony flailed his arms about him as he ran. He made retching noises along the way, making comments about having to shower in bleach just to get clean.
"Maybe that will teach you not to mess with things that aren't yours." Bruce gave in and laughed at the other man's display. Tony never failed to give amusement, even when he wasn't trying.
"Doubtful, but what the fuck man? Why do you even have that shit in here?" Tony gagged as he scrubbed vigorously at his hands. That had been closer than he had ever wanted to get to Steve Rogers.
"I believe that is none of your business." Bruce quickly folded up his notes and hid them while Tony had his back turned. Steve was going to kill him for this.
"I could always just get JARVIS to tell me." Tony shrugged a shoulder before grabbing a towel and drying off.
"That is getting to become an old and worn out threat." Bruce rolled his eyes, Tony could be such a drama queen. He would no more use Jarvis to spy on his friends than anything.
"But still a real threat. So, out with it, why is there a vial of Steve's… semen… in here?" Tony had read the same files as Bruce had read and knew the tests that had already been done by Hydra/Shield. He knew Bruce would never continue such tests, nor would Steve allow it. So the question of what he was doing stilled begged to be answered.
Bruce sighed, knowing that his friend would not drop it until he got what he wanted. "He asked me to do a few tests."
"He's alright, isn't he?" Sam had a pretty good idea what the whole thing was about, but between not knowing if Steve had told Bruce and knowing that he hadn't told Tony he didn't want to say anything. Tony knowing about the tests was bad enough.
"More than alright from the results so far. No, it seems Steve may have a girl and is worried about hurting her." Bruce tried to picture the type of girl the Cap might go for. No matter what he pictured he always came back to Darcy. Everyone figured the young woman was with either Steve or Bucky, but none of them ever said anything.
"He actually told you that?" Sam lifted a brow, wondering what his friend was up to. Surely he hadn't told Bruce that he had a girlfriend?
"No, but what else am I supposed to think when he comes in to ask me if his semen would hurt a woman?" Bruce looked the other man over. There was something about the way he looked and sounded that made him think that he knew more about what was going on.
"Seriously, the Capsicle is going to get laid? Oh man, I need photo evidence before I'll believe it." Tony laughed at the thought that the old man was finally going to get his cherry popped.
"Mention this to him and I will personally make sure to fuck up your life. Got it?" Sam pointed a finger at the overgrown child. He would not just beat the crap out of him if he told, he would get Pepper and the rest of the women in on it.
"Fuck, like I would really tell him I touched his shit. In fact that information doesn't leave this room." Tony pointed back and forth between Sam and Bruce, not putting his arm down until they both nodded.
"Fine, as long as the information about Steve and whoever the girl is remains here as well." Sam knew it was a weak bargain, one that Tony would break quickly, but it was worth a shot.
Tony pretended to think it over, only relenting when Sam took a step forward. "Hard bargain. Fine, but he better come to me for advice."
"Why the hell would he come to you?" It was laughable, Sam thought, that Steve would go to any one for sex advice. That little shit probably could give better advice than half of them in the tower.
"Why the hell wouldn't he?" Tony didn't understand why no one respected him. He was obviously the best choice, he had experience,lots of experience. He could easily write a book with everything he knew.
"Maybe because you are an insensitive prick that would spend half the time making fun of him instead of giving advice." Bruce didn't want to think about Tony giving the sex talk. He thanked God that Tony had a daughter and that particular privilege went to Pepper.
"Not half, maybe only the first ten minutes." Alright, he might actually take fifteen, but it would be too good a chance to pass up.
"Shut up, Tony, and get out. I promised him I would finish this as fast as I could." Bruce removed his glasses and rubbed at his eyes. Dealing with Tony sometimes could be more tiring than hulking out.
"Fine, I know when I'm not wanted!" Not caring how childish he looked, stuck his tongue out and marched towards the door. He probably should stop hanging out with Darcy so much, he was picking up a lot of her habits.
"If only that were true." Bruce shook his head. Sometimes he wondered why he remained in the tower when he could be off somewhere alone and quiet.
"Fuck you, fuck you both! I'm outta here!"
Abab
"So, you decided to go through with it?" Sam closed the door behind him as he moved into the not oft used tower library.
Just like with everything else he had done, Tony had spared no expense in creating the room. It took up half a floor of the tower, large floor to ceiling glass shelves filled the room, covered in every manner of book. Sam had been browsing once and had even come across a shelf dedicated to Asgardian books. Both those Thor brought back from home and ones about Norse myth written on Earth.
The room was rarely used, the place only having a couple regular visitors. One of those regulars sat curled up in a large chair by the, thanks to Tony, waterfall fixture.
"Excuse me, what?" Steve looked up from the book he had been reading to see Sam leaning against one of the glass bookshelves.
He had gone to the library in order to keep himself calm. Not to mention see if there was any information about the fertility treatments Darcy had been talking about. He hadn't thought he would run to anyone as the only others that normally used the room were occupied with other things.
"Having a kid with Darce, you've decided to do it?" Sam pushed off the bookshelf and sat himself down in the chair opposite of Steve.
He had to admit that Tony had created the perfect environment for relaxing and reading. During the day the room filled with sunlight, the only hindrance of it being in the books themselves. The waterfall trickled into the small pond below it.
"Sort of, how did you know about that anyway?" He set his book on the table by his chair, on the side away from the water fixture. Steve doubted that Sam had talked to Darcy, as she didn't even know he knew. So that meant Bruce.
"Saw Bruce in the lab. He seems to think you've got yourself a girl." Sam's eyes slid over the book Steve had been reading. It wasn't anything he had read before, but considering the title and cover he was sure it had something to do with pregnancy.
"And you figured I agreed to the baby thing off of that?" That was a bit of a leap, he thought. Though, maybe not as large had Sam not known about everything beforehand.
"No, I figured it out when he said you wanted everything tested to make sure you wouldn't hurt some woman. I know you're no virgin, so…" Sam shook his head. Everyone always teased him about being a virgin or a prude, but he had been with Steve when he had picked up women before. It was something to see.
"I wanted to make sure that there would be nothing wrong with the baby, or if I could even have children. The serum made me into this, made me better, but there is nothing to say it didn't leave me with a few as of yet known side effects." Steve feared what the serum could possibly do to a child. Not that it was likely, he thought, but nothing ever came without a price.
"It's an understandable worry." Sam hadn't thought about it like that. All the books he had read when he had been in school had always remarked about how wonderful the serum was, and the potential it could have had in creating a wonder drug. He had never thought the same thing that had created Captain America might cause problems with reproducing.
"So…" Steve wasn't really sure why Bruce had told Sam, but he figured he would give the man the benefit of the doubt. Mostly as Sam had a way of prying information from you.
"Don't worry, Bruce isn't shouting it out to everyone that passes by." Sam reached over and grabbed the book, flicking through it as Steve's shoulders relaxed. Just as he had thought, the book dealt with pregnancy. It looked like he might actually be going through with it.
"That's good to know." Steve turned his head and stared into the waterfall, his eyes becoming unfocused as he let his mind wander to what would come later that night.
"Unfortunately Tony might. Sorry, he was already in the lab when I got there." He thought about telling him of Tony's little freak out, but Sam decided to keep that for later. One never knew when they would need blackmail material.
"And he isn't here yet, why?" Steve's head turned so fast, he figured had he not been enhanced he would've ended up with whiplash.
Oh course it was just his luck that Tony had been there and heard everything. He was just glad the man didn't know the real story yet. He wasn't sure how he would take it, but Steve was sure it would end up unbearable for him.
"We may have threatened him to keep his mouth shut. Even so, I thought you should know, eventually he'll call our bluff." Sam shut the book and tossed it back onto the table. It was going to be interesting to see how everything worked out between Steve and Darcy, and how everyone would take the news when they found out.
"And in the most public and embarrassing way possible." Steve leaned back in the chair and ran a hand down his face. He was just glad Darcy wasn't implicated in anything. Though he knew it probably wouldn't take long for Tony to connect the dots, well somewhat, and realize she was the girl in question.
"He wouldn't be Tony Stark if he didn't." Sam could only shrug his shoulders. There was really little anyone could do when it came to the man, except for tell on him to Pepper. The man really was nothing more than an overgrown child.
"I'd say we wouldn't love him if he was any other way, but I'm afraid I would be lying." Steve laughed alongside Sam. There was a bit of truth to that, but still Steve had found himself friends with the man. Even caring for him.
"Truer words. Now, can we get back to the bit where you decided to have a kid?" Sam waved a hand at the book beside Steve as he relaxed deeper into the chair.
"I haven't decided, not fully. We've decided to talk about it." Maybe that didn't sound like much progress, but considering how things had been between them just a couple of days ago he would say they've made leaps and bounds.
"But you thought to go ahead and have those tests done?" He watched as a rather sorrowful look came over his friend's face. When working in the field with someone, it was sometimes easy to forget that there were other sides to them besides soldier. Mostly when there ended up being so much fighting.
"There is no use in getting her hopes up in case we do go through with it and I end up being unable to impregnate her. I don't want to do that to her." He wasn't sure he could do it to himself either. With each passing minute he became more and more emotionally involved.
"Smart. So, was it my wonderful advice that helped?" Sam leaned forward in his chair, smiling at the other man.
"No, it was Pepper actually." Steve laughed a bit at the disappointed face of his friend and sat up more fully in his own chair.
"Pepper?! I went and gave… ok yeah, never mind, that woman is a saint." He really couldn't say anything bad about that woman. She should be awarded a Nobel for just putting up with Tony's shit and cleaning up after him. Plus he guessed getting advice about having children from a pregnant woman was probably more convincing than a man with no kids.
"She has to be. Look, don't tell Bucky alright?" Steve had yet to tell him that he had actually started thinking about going ahead, and at the moment neither him nor Darcy needed to deal with the tantrum he was going to throw.
"Not my job anyway, but you do realize that if he finds out from anyone but you he is going to be angry?" Like really angry. Sam didn't want to be even in the same state as the three of them if that happened.
"I know, but he is going to be angry at me anyway." He really wanted to have everything worked out between him and Darcy before he told Bucky. Not that it would help much with the situation with him, but at least they could stand as a united front when Hurricane Bucky blew into town.
"I wouldn't say angry, he's just worried. Eventually he'll see what you see." Maybe, someday. After talking and working with him so long, Sam knew that Bucky had a lot of hangups. The poor guy had been completely screwed around with for so long he feared it would take a long time for things to start evening out for him.
"Not without a lot of yelling, cursing, and most likely throwing things… like his knives, first." Steve knew he didn't have too much to worry about when it came to Darcy. Bucky would most likely give her a lecture and his puppy eyes. It was what would happen to him that was the problem.
The two of them always solved things through fighting, even back before the war and the serum. Bucky always went easy on him then, but now a scuffle between them could destroy a room.
"Knives? No, but I do expect he'll get in a punch or two." Sam would like to say he was just playing, but he had seen those two in action. Damn if they didn't aim to hurt.
"Thanks, that makes me feel much better." Steve rolled his eyes. He really should look into find some new friends. Ones that didn't see violence as a normal pastime.
"Only here to help. Now, I've got a date with death." Sam pushed himself up out of the chair and dusted out the wrinkles in his clothes.
"Sparing with Nat again?" Steve watched as Sam smoothed a hand over his head and straightened his shirt. The two had a strange relationship, but he figured it worked for them.
"Nope, dinner. Wish me luck!" Sam winked and started for the door. He still needed to change his shirt, and looking down at his shoes, he realized a different pair would probably be best.
"You're going to need it if she ever finds out you called her death." He shook his head.
At one point Steve had thought Nat had been with Clint, but when the archer came out of his rooms one morning with a half dressed brunette on his heels he figured different. Well, after spending the morning waiting for Nat to tear off Clint's head during breakfast. Turned out though that relationship had long since died, and Nat had pretty much been sleeping with Sam since the fall of Shield.
"Eh, she's got her pet name for me too." Not that he would ever tell anyone about that, he enjoyed not getting laughed at.
"I think I might be scared if you two ever have kids." Steve shook in fright over the thought. They would be worse than Tony.
"Me too, me too."
Abab
Author's Note: I finally got it done! Sorry, between finals, my muse hounding when it came to oneshots, and a stupid flu I had I haven't been able to work on this.
This chapter actually gave me trouble, which annoys me because some of my favorite stuff is in this one. I giggled like a little girl when I came up with the scene with Tony. I just keep seeing him flailing around and prancing back to the sink to wash his hands.
Now, I have seen AOU, and this will remain non-compliant. So that means anything that became canon in that movie has been totally kicked out the window and stomped on and then set on fire. I liked the movie, but there was a lot I would have changed. Anyway, this story will never have Ultron or the whole Civil War storyline. Though I will probably work in a bit of the AOS season two storyline because I need that character development for Jemma when I bring her in.
I hope the next chapter won't take me so long, as my fav chapters are coming up, but just know I am working on finishing the chapter by chapter development for this story as well as working on developing a Darcy-centric 40's story and a new Tasertricks. So updates might still be slow, but hopefully not too slow.
Also, for those confused about the title and Darcy's inner thoughts earlier, the whole daughter named Random thing is actually from the book Mostly Harmless the fifth Hitchhiker's book. I don't know, I love to make references to Hitchhiker's and Monty Python.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.