Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!
On the day that Leah had taken off of work so that we could go and tell her mother about our fake engagement she looked normal. Now I know that sounds odd since I am kind of freaking out about her looking like just another person, but you have to understand that I was used to seeing her as hot kickass Leah who wore short skirts and thigh high boots. I was not used to regular Leah who wore blue jeans and a plain black t-shirt. Seeing her look so normal and not downright sex on legs had me feeling as if I had fell in to opposite land. Don't get me wrong though because I would totally still do her, but for the first time since meeting her, getting her naked was not the main thing on my mind.
We took my car since she said the one way to catch her mother's attention in a good way would be for us to not show up on a motorcycle. So Leah liked motorcycles did she? I would have to think about investing in one or asking Jasper if I could borrow his, though I thought better of that when I remembered the things he told me he and my sister did on that bike. Yeah, I wouldn't be touching that bike with a ten foot pole even if it was washed down in bleach. There are some things sex is just not worth and having to touch a bike where my sister and future brother in law had done it was one of the very few things sex was not worth. Even sex with Leah could not get me near that thing now.
I am not sure what I expected when we reached her family home in La Push. I mean I never really pictured the badass Leah Clearwater as coming from a little white house with the whole picket fence thing. I guess I never really thought about the origins of one Leah Clearwater because unless it had something to do with me nailing her it had never crossed my mind. We stayed in the car for a few minutes and when I looked over she was smoking a cigarette. It had to be like her fifth one in ten minutes.
"You know those cause cancer and premature wrinkles." I said automatically as a way to get rid of the tension. "They can also give you yellow teeth and nobody wants to marry someone with yellow teeth."
Turning to face me she opened her mouth wide revealing her pearly whites. "Well I have nothing to worry about because I use those whitening strips and so far they have been doing a bang up job. Look a few rules before you enter the closest thing to hell La Push has. One, under no circumstances do you get in to a conversation about politics with my mother it will only end badly with you. Second, no talk about past relationships because again she will use that to slaughter you. Do not play video games with my brother no matter how much of a temptation it proves to be. He will never let you leave if you start and in my mother's eyes that is a sign of immaturity. Basically to gain her approval you have to be the most boring, normal, perfect guy to ever exist. I know for you that is going to be one heck of a stretch, but if you don't want my boot up your ass then you will get it right. Do you understand all of that? Good now let's go and get this done because the sooner we start the sooner it is over with and we can leave and spend the rest of the day actually doing something enjoyable."
She never gave me a chance to say anything witty or perverted because in the next second she was out of the car and I had no choice other than to follow her. When we stood on the front porch waiting for her mother or brother to answer I suddenly remembered the one thing we needed to pull this off and so I reached in to my pocket and pulled out a ring. I quickly grabbed Leah's ring hand and slid it on her ring finger. When she gave me her usual have you lost your mind look, I shrugged. "It was Alice's idea not mine so if you have a problem with it then take it to her. She picked it out and everything all I did was give her the money to pay for it."
"And here I am surprised that it isn't a quarter machine ring." My Quilette fake fiancée muttered under her breath while looking down at the ring. "It is actually very pretty and so you get off this time, but next time please be sure to warn me so that I know you are going to do something nice. It creeps me out when you do nice shit opposed to being the ass-had you usually are."
"Love you too Clearwater." I smirked and took her hand in mine. I could not stop myself from inserting one of my perverted yet totally true comments. Could I help it if my brain was dirty, but always right at the same time? "We want to be believable don't we? You know what would really convince your mother we are together? If we did it on the living room couch she would have to accept the fact we are together even we aren't. Still, I don't mind having sex with you for the sake of being convincing."
My russet skinned roommate rolled her eyes. "Keep comments like that to yourself or my mother will think I am a whore. Well she already thinks that, but in her eyes I am not a good enough whore to get paid. You know the doing it on her couch not a bad idea, but still not happening so keep dreaming."
"Always am." I countered with a grin as the door opened to reveal what must be Leah's mother. She looked like an uglier, not so sexy, version of her daughter.
The older woman looked at us for a moment before she focused completely on her daughter. "Leah, you said you had some urgent news?"
"Well mom I thought you would like to know that all of your fears about me being the not marriageable type were for nothing." Leah quickly held up her right hand to show off the engagement ring. "I came home to tell you that I'm getting hitched."
TBC…
AN: I know, I know, a cliffhanger, but I think that it works well. I wanted Sue's reaction all a chapter to itself and that will be the next chapter. I hope that you liked this chapter anyways. I love the banter between Leah and Edward. Anyways, let me know what you thought.
Please R&R like always!