Warning - this letter has cussing and references to nudity and sexuality! Nothing graphic/descriptive, just references!
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Dear Commander Cullen,
I was out getting some fresh air after a long day of prayer the other night when I spotted your naked ass rushing through the courtyard back to the barracks. Thank the Maker it was dark enough I don't have to burn my eyes out of my head! Why the hell were you naked, Commander? Do you have no shame? I understand that things are not always easy, but I expected better from you than a stripper! Or were you drunk? In that case, you have my sympathies... however, do not make a mockery of all you stand for again! I will be very disappointed if I find out you were rolling one of the barmaids!
Keep that stuff private at the very least!
I can just imagine the Maker's disappointment in you! Good grief! No one wants to see that. Please keep you damned pants on next time!
From,
A Pissed-Off Chantry Mother.
P.S. My friend - a Chantry sister no less - who was with me at the time, was turned on by your raunchy display. I'm ashamed of her and she is now reading the Chant of Light over and over to me repeatedly. Perhaps she'll find forgiveness from the Maker in that.
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. Notes from the Inquisitor -
Oh, this is priceless. Cullen refused to speak of this with me... I let him off the hook on the condition that he quit bothering me to walk around Skyhold instead of running. Walking? That's ridiculous!
. Notes from Varric -
There goes any chance of getting Curly to play again...
. Notes from Leliana -
I have never seen Cullen so red in his life. He tried to wad it up and throw it away, but I had an agent sneak it out of the trash. Indeed, this could be the most valuable blackmail we have.
. Notes from Cole -
It comes off, people get scared and angry. He should keep it on. No fear, no pain.
"Who let Cole read this!? Varric!?" A voice shouted.