Author's note: Hallo! This is Hide! I wanted you to know that this is the first fic that I have posted on this account. You may have read some of my other work, but as my name implies I am hiding, so you may not know who I really am.

Okay! I would love your reviews, but first; I don't really want to be judged on my grammar or spelling I just want to know what you think of the story. K?

I hope you enjoy the story.

Oh, wait two more things!

This story is rated for self-harm and suicidal thoughts and actions.

I don't own Hetalia it belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya

Anxieties

The bitter taste of bile lingered in his mouth after the fact and the acid burned at his throat. Why was he doing this to himself, it was the first time he had eaten something substantial in several days, but his mind and body rejected it. Within a short period he found himself forcibly heaving over the toilet.

It had all started almost a year before. Gil's life had gone further to hell then it had already been. He had found himself trying everything he could to calm his anxieties, but no matter what he did nothing worked until one day his anxieties got the better of him and he found himself throwing up. He felt strangely relieved and after sometime it became his new form of self-harm.

Then one day Mattie came along and Gil's life started to get tremendously better. Mattie understood him and didn't judge him. They were happy for a while. Mattie was the kind of guy anybody would have wanted. He was cute and smart, but eventually Gil's anxieties got the better of him and he started to doubt himself. He started to believe that he was the worst kind of boyfriend, always judging Mattie, telling him he could be better, getting upset with him when things didn't go his way, always complaining.

Gil didn't want to hurt Mattie any more so he chose to break up with him. It surprised Gil and hurt him that Mattie showed no emotion when they broke up. Yeah, Mattie had his own problems that Gil really couldn't handle, but it felt like the boy didn't care at all what happened between the two of them at the end.

Now here he was again not eating and when Gil tried to he would just throw it up again. He watched his own reflection in the mirror. Gil had never been this thin in his whole life. He could count his ribs and all his bones jutted out sharply. He let his eyes fall to the sink basin below the mirror. On the edge of the basin was a straight razor.

'Do it! Do it! Commit suicide! Commit suicide!' The little voice in the back of his head chanted. Gil picked up the blade and examined it. The blade was so well polished he could see his own reflection in it. What a pitiful sight, he was so thin and tired.

"Vielleicht sollte ich," Gilbert said out loud though there was no one to hear him. He raised the sharp blade to his throat. He could feel it scrape along his neck "Ja..."

Before he could go through with it though, the doorbell rang. Gil froze in his actions and quickly gained a sense of the situation. He was more than a little panicked with what he had all most done. He tossed the razor in to the sink and pulled on a shirt before bolting to the front door.

He struggled with the sticky door knob for a moment than threw open the door to be greeted with a scowl. Of all the people to stop him from his own foolish action it was him. The bushier browed Brit continued to stare at him for a moment before speaking.

"Are you going to let me in or make me stand here all day?" Arthur demanded. Gil stepped out of the way and held the door open for him to come inside. "I heard you and Matthew broke up a while ago and I wanted to see how you were doing," He told Gilbert as he found a seat on the couch, having to toss games, pillows, and clutter out of the way to do so.

"Ja..." Gilbert said tensely.

"Well, how have you been then?" Arthur finally asked. Gilbert tried to find the words to tell his longtime friend what had been happening, but he was at a loss. The Brit was watching him intently. Gil walked over to ware he sat on the couch and slid down to the floor in front of him. He stretched out his arms and rapped them around Arthur's waist and laid his head on the others lap.

It wasn't words that told Arthur how the German had been it was the sudden jerking motion and the shaking sobs that told him everything. Arthur rubbed circles on Gil's back and ran his fingers soothingly through his hair.

"Whatever has happened you don't have to go through it alone, Gilbert" Arthur told him. Gil shook his head. It was going to take a lot of convincing to get Gilbert to even tell Arthur what was wrong.

Author's Notes: Thank you for reading!

If I get good reviews I may write more to this. R&R Please!